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Perfect Chemistry
Season №: 7
Episode №: 152b
Airdate: February 26, 2011
Previous: "Big Sister Sam"
Next: "Accidents Will Happen"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Perfect Chemistry" from season seven, which aired on February 26, 2011.

  • [The camera zooms in on Sandy's Treedome. There is a silhouette of Sandy in the tree]
  • Sandy: [Sandy puts down her blowtorch and her mask] Almost done... Could you hand me that wrench, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: Nu uh uh! Lab Partner!
  • Sandy: Huh?
  • SpongeBob: You called me SpongeBob. I thought we agreed to address each other by our proper titles.
  • Sandy: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Uh tit tit tit! Lab Partner!
  • [Sandy takes the wrench in front of SpongeBob. SpongeBob looks sad]
  • Sandy: There! It's finished! Now I can hide my nuts back in Texas without leavin' my lab!
  • [She picks up a pile of nuts and puts them in her machine and pulls a lever. The machine rumbles, and a lightbulb blinks. The camera then shows Sandy and SpongeBob watching]
  • Sandy: [A big blast occurs. The nuts were not in the machine] It worked! Hooray! [She hugs SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: We did it!
  • [Then the machine rumbles again, and the nuts appear right next to the machine]
  • Sandy: Aw, nuts!
  • [The camera zooms on the Chum Bucket, and a shot of Plankton's lab appears. Plankton is seen working on a machine with cloth over it.. He puts down his blowtorch and mask]
  • Plankton: Finally! The day has come!
  • Karen: You mean Thursday?
  • Plankton: No! It's the day I steal the Krabby Patty secret formula from Krabs!
  • Karen: Well, why pretell, is today different from the other days you failed to steal it?
  • Plankton: [Plankton growls] Because today I have completed my greatest invention. Behold! [he said as he took the cloth off his machine]
  • Karen: What exactly am I BEHOLDING? A vegetable steamer?
  • Plankton: This is no ordinary vegetable steamer, Karen, my computer wife. It's my latest invention! And isn't she a beauty. Meow. [he hugs the steamer]
  • Karen: Oh, brother. [she rolled her eyes]
  • Plankton: Sweetie, you're going to help me achieve my defined purpose, aren't you? And steal the Krabby Patty recipe! Muhahahahaha! [A ding goes off] It's ready! [He comes back wearing a pink bath towel. He opens a small door in his steamer. Steam goes everywhere] Oh, boy. he says. [He sits down] Whew! Man, is it hot in here.
  • Broccoli: [A broccoli comes on camera, wearing the same robe] Tell me about it.
  • Plankton: [Plankton pulls a switch, and he comes out the steamer in a gaseous form] It worked! In this new gaseous form, I will be able to silently squeeze through the cracks of the Krusty Krab. Ehahahahaha!
  • [He bursts out the Chum Bucket, still laughing, and squeezes into the Krusty Krab.. Mr. Krabs is seen, mumbling, "Money, money, money, money!". Plankton goes in Krabs' office]
  • Plankton: Hehehehe!
  • Mr. Krabs: Now, how much is that- Mr. Krabs gets cut off by Plankton going through his eyes. [Krabs sniffs the air] Eugh!
  • Plankton: Finally, the moment has come! [Krabs gets out an fan and blows Plankton away] No, No, No! [He gets blown out of the Krusty Krab] NNNOOOOO!!! [blews toward Sandy's Treedome, and into Sandy's face]
  • Sandy: [holding her nose] Eugh. [picks up her blowtorch and uses it all around]
  • Plankton: Hey! Cut it out!
  • SpongeBob: Plankton? is that you?
  • Plankton: Of course it's me, you moron.
  • Sandy: You were able to convert yourself into gaseous form? Facinatin'!
  • Plankton: Huh? Wait!
  • [Sandy puts him in a jar and puts him in the freezer. Sandy waits, and then takes it out. She shakes Plankton out, and he turns to normal]
  • Sandy: I guess I never realized you were such a student of science. Maybe you could help me fix my nut transporter.
  • Plankton: Eh? Did you say transporter? [cuts to Plankton looking at the transporter] Interesting. [climbs in the transporter] Hey! Maybe if I combine this device with my own invention, the Krabby Patty formula will be mine! I mean, I think I have the right parts in my lab, eh?
  • Sandy: We're in business! [cuts to Sandy and Plankton are walking into his lab] Say! This is a dandy lab!
  • Plankton: Is that good?
  • Sandy; Hahahaha! Does a pig play poker?
  • Plankton: Um... I guess.
  • [Sandy looks through test tubes]
  • Sandy; I should have visited you before. Why, with you and me being the only two scientists in town.
  • Plankton: Haha, yes.
  • [SpongeBob comes in, carrying the transporter]
  • SpongeBob: Yes, sir. The lab is amazing.
  • Plankton: Do you really like it?
  • Sandy: And how! [SpongeBob fells on the floor by the weight of the teleporter]
  • SpongeBob: Here's your teleporter, lab partner.
  • Sandy: [picks it up] Thanks, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Can you please call me lab partner?
  • Sandy: So where do I hook up my teleporter?
  • Plankton: Oh, just plug it into that doohickey over there [points to the steamer]
  • Karen: Just who are you calling a doohickey?
  • Sandy: Wowee! Is that a real mark-3 surplus wifeomatic? She is beautiful.
  • Karen: Oh, why, thank you.
  • Plankton: No, not that doohickey. THIS doohickey! Just plug your teleporter into my device, and with our combined power we shall conquer the world!
  • Sandy: Uh huh. Or I could combine your gasifier with my invention and gasify my nuts that transports them to Texas!
  • Plankton: Heh. Yes, that's what I meant.
  • [Sandy plugged her machine into the gasifyer and the transporter gleamed light from it]
  • Sandy; YES! It's working at last, new lab partner!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, I guess you won't be needing me any more. [The camera shows SpongeBob's heart cracking. Sandy sees SpongeBob leaving]
  • Plankton: Yes, that's right. And don't let the door hit you on the way out!
  • Sandy: Hold on! SpongeBob, we need you.
  • Plankton: What! He'll just get in the way!
  • SpongeBob: Maybe. How can I help? I'm not even a scientist.
  • Sandy: Why, you have the most important job of all! You'll be our test monkey.
  • SpongeBob: [face lit up] Test monkey, [cuts to SpongeBob putting on a monkey suit and acts like one] Test monkey reporting for duty!
  • Plankton: A test monkey? [cries] I've never had a test monkey before! [cries again. hops up on Sandy] There is some mad scientist in you after all! Muhahahaha! [Sandy joins in laughing] Ok, we really have to work on your evil laugh. [cuts to Sandy putting a connector in one of SpongeBob's holes]
  • Sandy: Ready!
  • Plankton: Rodger! [pulling a lever] Urgh! Just a sec. [has difficulty pulling it. as it goes down, SpongeBob's eyes disappear]
  • SpongeBob: Hey! Who turned out the lights?
  • Sandy: Eugh! We only teleported his eyes!
  • Plankton: Oh, boy. Try again!
  • [cuts to Squidward, flipping patties at the Krusty Krab]
  • Squidward: Where is that idiot SpongeBob, leaving me to do all the cooking? This job stinks! [sniffs the air] Eugh. Literally. [looks at SpongeBob's eyeballs, which appeared right next to him; screams and rushes into Mr. Krabs' office] Mr. Krabs! [knocks off all of Mr. Krabs' money] There's something in the kitchen you gotta see! [cuts to the lab]
  • Sandy: Oh, well. [SpongeBob walks into a wall] Try again. [pulls the lever. SpongeBob's eyes dissapear. cuts to Squidward]
  • Squidward: See for yourself! [Mr. Krabs sniffs the air]
  • Mr. Krabs: [sniffs the air] Eugh! I see. So it was you that befouled me office earlier? [cuts to Sandy and Plankton adding 2 more tubes]
  • Sandy: Just a few more adjustments...
  • Plankton: Ok. Let her rip!
  • SpongeBob: Do you think this is a good look for me? Or is it too flashy?
  • Sandy: [pulls 2 levers] Stand clear!
  • SpongeBob: Clear of what? [cuts to Squidward mopping the bathroom]"Something weird is going on around here [SpongeBob's mouth appears]
  • SpongeBob's mouth: Hi, Squidward.
  • Squidward: [screams] Mr. Krabs! There's a strange sound coming from the restroom! [cuts to Sandy]
  • Sandy: Hm. Now only his mouth is missing.
  • Plankton: Shut it down. [Sandy pulls a lever, and SpongeBob's mouth disappears.] [cuts to Mr. Krabs going in]
  • Mr.Krabs: Ugh! For crying out loud, Squidward, what the heck is wrong with you? [cuts to SpongeBob having many tubes on him]
  • Sandy: Test 3! [pulls the lever. cuts to Squidward]
  • Squidward: I cannot believe I have to deliver all this junk food myself. [slips on a Krabby Patty and falls] What the- [SpongeBob's legs and arms appear, and gives Squidward the orders] Oh, thank you. [SpongeBob's hand shows three first fingers meaning with pleasure. Goes to Mr. Krabs, who hears the yelling and turns up his radio. cuts to SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: Look, no hands! Or feet. [laughs]
  • Sandy: Well, we're getting closer. [Sandy and Plankton puts goggles filled with many, many tubes on SpongeBob] Goggles!
  • Plankton: Shall we activate it together?
  • Sandy: Why, sure enough! Three!
  • Plankton: Two!
  • Sandy: One!
  • Plankton: [jumps on the button] Fire! [Sandy presses it with her hand, squashing Plankton] Ow. [cuts to SpongeBob's whole body appears on Squidward's head]
  • SpongeBob: Ooh, I gotta go to the bathroom. [disappears. Mr. Krabs walks by]
  • Mr.Krabs: Ooh. Neptune's trousers, Squidward! Maybe you should just lay off the broccoli for a while. [cuts to SpongeBob back in the lab]
  • Sandy: [picks up SpongeBob] It worked! We transported his whole body this time!
  • Plankton: Yes! My plan worked! And now I have no further use for you two goody goodies! [presses a button, trapping Sandy and SpongeBob] Using your technology, I can teleport myself directly to the Krusty Krab and the Krabby Patty formula [singing in high voice] will be mine! [laughs evilly] [teleports himself]
  • SpongeBob: [in sorrow] Oh no! Plankton has finally won! And we, we helped him.
  • Sandy: Not exactly, Lab Partner. [presses a button and the trap rose. she then presses another button and the Krabby Patty formula appeared]
  • SpongeBob: [picks it up] The Krabby Patty formula! But if that's here, then where's Plankton? [cuts to Plankton]
  • Plankton: Fools! I played them like a 32 bit synthesizer! Muhahaha! Now where's that formula? [He looks around and his flashlight goes off] The formula is gone? [yells] NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!![cuts to Mr. Krabs]
  • Mr. Krabs: Did you hear something?
  • Squidward: [mopping] I don't hear a thing, but something stinks. [cut back to Sandy]
  • Sandy: Aw, I knew Plankton was hatching an evil plan the whole time. So I just adjusted the controls to where he can't do any harm. Nobody fools a squirrel from Texas! [episode ends with Sandy doing an evil scientist laugh] AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

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