Penny Foolish/transcript

Template:EpisodeTr/102a

• [episode starts at the Discount Grocery Mart, Mr. Krabs places a basket of items on the counter and Debbie scans them]
• Debbie: Price check on industrial size econo pack of raw fiber.
• Mr. Krabs: Ah, it goes in like steel wool, but comes out like an angel from heaven.
• Debbie: [sarcastically] Please, tell me more.
• Mr. Krabs: Ooh, well, this one time I...
• Debbie: Not really!
• Mr. Krabs: I didn't think so. Ooh wait, I almost forgot me coupons! [hands her a lot of coupons] There's a couple double ones in there too.
• Debbie: Sir, these expired over 30 years ago.
• Mr. Krabs: What does that mean?
• Debbie: It means they're no good, Sir. I'll just throw those away for you.
• Mr. Krabs: No, wait! I'll take 'em.
• Debbie: Okay sir, your change today is going to be exactly ten cents.
• Mr. Krabs: Come to papa! Come to papa! [two nickels slide out] Yay! Two nickels. [laughs, then gasps as he notices SpongeBob walking on the street] Hey, that's SpongeBob out there! [SpongeBob does some weird things] What in blue blazes is that boy up to? [SpongeBob points to something that appears to be a penny, then picks it up and puts it in his pocket] Well I'll be a geriatric jellyfish! SpongeBob found a penny! A bright shiny penny just sitting there, and he picked it right up! Huh, I can remember the whole thing as if it just happened a moment ago. [Mr. Krabs imagines what just happened]
• SpongeBob: [in the thought bubble] Sir... Sir! [is actually Debbie]
• Debbie: ...Sir!
• Mr. Krabs: What?
• Debbie: You're holding up the line.
• Mr. Krabs: Ooh, I am?
• Debbie: Next, please. [cuts to night where Mr. Krabs is driving his boat]
• Mr. Krabs: Interesting how things work out that way. Some folks just walk along and stumble over free money, while others, others, they work! [zooms out seeing that there's another car next to his and hearing dolphin chirps from Mr. Krabs]
• Billy: Hey mommy, who's that weird guy in the car over there!
• Billy's Mom: Billy, mommy's watching the road right now.
• Mr. Krabs: I mean why couldn't I have just walked along and found it? I have legs too you know! [sighs] How about a little music. [music dial turns into a penny] Okay, okay, get a grip Krabs. Just concentrate on driving. [steering wheel turns into a penny. Mr. Krabs screams and let's go of it, then holds it again] Okay, getting all worked up over a little coin. [laughs] Ah, it must just be the full moon. Wait a second. [moon turns into a penny, and Mr. Krabs screams] I gotta have that penny! [cuts to next day at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob walks in] Good morning, SpongeBob.
• SpongeBob: Good morning, Mr. Krabs!
• Mr. Krabs: Find anything special lately?
• SpongeBob: Yae-yes!
• Mr. Krabs: Really?
• SpongeBob: Yup!
• Mr. Krabs: And you want to share it with your old uncle Krabs, don't you boy?
• SpongeBob: Of course!
• Mr. Krabs: Great! Well, share it with me!
• SpongeBob: [laughs] I already am sharing it with you, Mr. Krabs.
• Mr. Krabs: Wha.. What?
• SpongeBob: The thing I found was a bright, shiny, new... day! Well I'll be in the kitchen if you need me. [talking to Squidward] Good morning, Squidward!
• Squidward: Don't talk to me.
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs seems to be in a good mood today.
• Squidward: That counts as talking. [SpongeBob walks into the kitchen, and Mr. Krabs is in there]
• SpongeBob: Whoa! Hello again Mr. Krabs.
• Mr. Krabs: Hello, SpongeBob.
• SpongeBob: What can I do you for?
• Mr. Krabs: Can I borrow a penny?
• SpongeBob: A penny? Sure. [checks his pocket] Hmm, sorry. All out of pennies right now.
• Mr. Krabs: But did you check all your pockets?
• SpongeBob: Well, I thought I did.
• Mr. Krabs: Front pockets? [SpongeBob checks]
• SpongeBob: Hmm, no.
• Mr. Krabs: Back? [SpongeBob checks]
• SpongeBob: Hmm-mm.
• Mr. Krabs: Shirt pockets? [SpongeBob checks]
• SpongeBob: Nuh-uh.
• Mr. Krabs: Shoe pockets?
• SpongeBob: [laughs] Shoe pockets. Oh, Mr. Krabs, that is just ridiculous.
• Mr. Krabs: It is?
• SpongeBob: Well, I do have a tie pocket though. [SpongeBob checks] No, not in there either.
• Mr. Krabs: Hey, maybe it fell in your sock.
• SpongeBob: Well, I...
• Mr. Krabs: Did you check there? [holds SpongeBob upside down, and shakes him, SpongeBob's brain falls out] Uhh?
• SpongeBob: Hey look, it's my brain! [brain grows legs and walks away] Hey where's it going? [brain falls though a crack] Ooh, there. [brain crawls on Squidward, and SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs follow it, they find it under a barrel] Aha! [brain squirts liquid at him, SpongeBob laughs] Not so fast, little guy. There now. Yes, I know. Come here. [brain crawls back into SpongeBob's head]
• Mr. Krabs: Uhh?
• SpongeBob: What's the matter Mr. Krabs? Didn't you know I was a brain whisperer?
• Mr. Krabs: So, uhh, no penny, huh?
• SpongeBob: Nope.
• Mr. Krabs: Darn! [cuts to later when SpongeBob is mopping, and hears a noise]
• SpongeBob:: Squidward, these deafening construction sounds are preventing me from working.
• Squidward: Me too.
• SpongeBob: Do you think we should walk out back to investigate?
• Squidward: Never. [SpongeBob and Squidward are now walking out back]
• SpongeBob: The sounds are coming from back here. What the? [a movie theater is being built]
• Mr. Krabs: Careful with those marquee ladders!
• SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs, you made your own movie theater!
• Mr. Krabs: Yes I did.
• SpongeBob: Yay!
• Mr. Krabs: And you're just in time for the grand opening! [pulls a lever that turns on the electricity on] Step right up folks, and witness a spell binding tale chock full of adventure, and action, and thrills... [Mr. Krabs is chirping like a dolphin as two fish walk up]
• Frank: You know, I'm not really hungry.
• Harold: Yeah, let's go see what this fat guy is yelling about.
• Mr. Krabs: ...witness the terrifying challenges overcome by... by...
• Harold: By who?
• Mr. Krabs: by a... by a plucky young sponge.
• SpongeBob: Just like me!
• Mr. Krabs: That's right! And the best part is: admission is only one penny!
• Squidward: Does a movie like that even exist?
• Harold: Yeah, does it?!
• Mr. Krabs: Uhh, well, actually I was going to show you this flip book and...
• Squidward: A flip book?
• Harold: Yeah, I don't even know what that IS! [everyone walks away]
• Mr. Krabs: No, wait. Noooooooo!
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, can I see the movie now? Please?
• Mr. Krabs: Of course you can lad! You just gotta give me one penny.
• SpongeBob: But, but...
• Mr. Krabs: But what?
• SpongeBob: But, I really don't have a penny. [Mr. Krabs screams, and then demolishes the movie theater, cuts to night where SpongeBob is walking to the Krusty Krab] Huh, that's too bad. I really wanted to see that movie. Oh well. [Squidward is dressed like a waiter]
• Squidward: Good evening, [SpongeBob whistles] and [Squidward looks at a piece of paper] welcome to the [looks at paper] Krusty Krab semi-annual charity night.
• SpongeBob: Squidward? You look beautiful!
• Squidward: Let me show you to your table.
• SpongeBob: My table? Fancy. [gasps] My very own name tag! [lights turn off and Squidward sighs, as he shines a flash light on Mr. Krabs]
• Mr. Krabs: Hello, and welcome to a very important evening. Tonight's event is entitled: Pennies, for the penny-less. And before the following images are shown, I would ask each of you to look not look with your eyes, but with your heart. [Mr. Krabs shows some images] Three dimes, two nickels, one quarter, zero pennies. And since I realize the images seen here tonight may be wretchedly hideous, I am going to tell you what you can do to end this travesty: You can donate one penny to me: Mr. Krabs. Also known as: Mr. Krabs, the man who doesn't have one. [Mr. Krabs starts crying and SpongeBob is crying too]
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs.
• Mr. Krabs: [cheered up] Yes?
• SpongeBob: I would like to donate a penny.
• Mr. Krabs: You would?
• SpongeBob: If I only had one! [SpongeBob starts crying, Mr. Krabs' eyes go into his head, and he screams, scene then cuts to SpongeBob's house, Mr. Krabs is using a flower delivery truck to spy on his house, he is speaking gibberish, he then notices SpongeBob walking out the door, he then walks in, with a metal detector, he then looks around]
• Mr. Krabs: Hiding it, somewhere. Hiding it. Hiding it. Hiding it. Hiding it.
• Gary: Meow.
• Mr. Krabs: What's that? You! You know where!
• Gary: Meow. [Mr. Krabs picks him up]
• Mr. Krabs: Tell where!
• Gary: Meow.
• Mr. Krabs: Hiding it, inside, [reaches into Gary's shell] in there, somewhere. [lights come on, and SpongeBob walks in]
• SpongeBob: [gasps] Mr. Krabs! What is this metal detector doing on the floor? These should only be stored on special racks. [gasps] And you're not wearing your metal detector handling gloves!
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I just wanted that penny you found on the street yesterday. Oh, I'm sorry.
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, that wasn't a penny. [laughs]
• Mr. Krabs: It wasn't?
• SpongeBob: No, that was just a dried up piece of gum for my collection. I think it's peppermint.
• Mr. Krabs: Ah ha ha ha ha hooooooooo hoo. I fell so relieved. There was no penny after all! Well, I'll be going now, You can keep the metal detector, SpongeBob. See ya!
• SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs. Hey, Gary, you can play with that. [Gary sniffs it, then spits on it, then walks away, the gum then absorbs it] Hey, this isn't gum at all. [pulls it out, revealing that it is a $500 bill] It's just a dumb old $500 bill. This won't go with my chewed up gum collection. Ah well, good night, Gary.
• [turns off the light, then zooms out revealing that Mr. Krabs is digging holes outside of his house looking for the penny]
• Mr. Krabs: Penny, must have buried it around here somewhere. I'll just have to keep digging.