This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Merry Nickmas short "Patrick the Snowman," which aired on December 4, 2002.

  • Nigel: It all started with the first snowfall of the year.
  • Carl: It's perfect!
  • Sheen Estevez: It's awesome!
  • Cindy Vortex: It's hideous.
  • Jimmy: What it needs is my latest invention: I call it "The Spoofinator 4000." Now let's fire it up. [puts hat on top of the snowman and it turns it into a real Patrick Star]
  • Patrick: Birthday happy.
  • All: It's alive!
  • Nigel: The children loved their new winter friend. And it wasn't long before they were spending all their time toge...about a minute.
  • Patrick: Poke. [pokes Carl with a stick]
  • Carl: Ow.
  • Patrick: Poke. Poke.
  • Nigel: Unfortunately, the end of winter was a long way off and the children have to come up with a plan.
  • Jimmy: First, we'll fuse my Photon Hyper Nuclear Resonator with Sheen's Electronic Ultralord; thus, creating a wormhole in the space-time continuum and propelling him into the future.
  • Cindy: Or we could just melt him.
  • Everyone else: Nah.
  • Nigel: It was then that they decided to send their cold creation into the distant future. [flash forward] 70 years later.
  • Patrick: Poke. Poke. Poke. [poking old Carl with a stick]
  • Old Cindy: Nice going, Grandpa Genius.
  • Skeleton Nigel: The End. [bones break] Honestly now.

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