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SpongeBob SquarePants

"One Coarse Meal" (transcript)

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One Coarse Meal
General
Season №: 7
Episode №: 137a
Airdate: March 25, 2010
Chronology
Previous: "Summer Job"
Next: "Gary in Love"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "One Coarse Meal" from season seven, which aired on March 25, 2010.

  • Mr. Krabs: [turns off lights, lights a cigar, and bathes in money] Ahh, that's the stuff. [sniffs] Hey, something don't smell right. SpongeBob! Hey, what are you burning out here, boy?
  • SpongeBob: [sniffs] Hmm... I'd say a hydrated explosive.
  • Mr. Krabs: EXPLOSIVE!? [Scene cuts to outside the Krusty Krab where Plankton is flying on a glider laughing evily]
  • Plankton: Ha ha ha ha! Enjoy, Eugene! [activates bomb, which blows up roof]
  • Mr. Krabs: PLANKTON! I just had that roof redone last week!
  • Plankton: You will be re-re-doing it when I'm through with you!
  • Mr. Krabs: Ready for instant? [SpongeBob takes off his hat and reveals a peas can. Krabs opens the can with his claw and pours all the peas into SpongeBob. He then uses SpongeBob as a gun] Fire! [SpongeBob shoots pass at Plankton. The peas shoot through Plankton's air glider. But Plankton blows a bubble over himself causing the peas to be deflected. The deflected peas hits the frying pans. One of the frying pans fall and hits SpongeBob. Plankton then fires a missile at them] Take cover! [Mr. Krabs picks up SpongeBob and uses him as a shield, but the missile just fall straight to the ground] Oh, ha, ha, it didn't blow up another dud, Plankton.
  • Plankton: Another dud huh? [He pushed a button which causes the missile to transform into a robotic arm and it squeezes Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob]
  • Mr Krabs: Oh, you're playing with fire now, Plankton!
  • Plankton: No need to get worked up with this Krabs, just give me the secret formula and off I go.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well you ain't getting it
  • Plankton: Well I constrict you to reconsider. [presses button and arm squeezes harder]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, go jump of a plank
  • Plankton: Oh well, I have other ways of getting it when I need where is the formula Krabs? [tickles Mr. Krabs with feather]
  • Mr. Krabs: ha ha ha ha!
  • Plankton: still not going to talk 'ay' Krabs? [He tickles Mr. Krabs' nose with the feather causing him to sneeze and blowing Plankton to the ground] OK Krabs, I see you're still not going to crack but I don't think your underling is of the same metal.
  • SpongeBob: I'll never talk
  • Plankton: Well, we'll see what Mr.Feather has to say about that,
  • SpongeBob: OK, OK! but I don't how to get into the safe behind the painting into Mr. Krabs' office that houses the secret formula! He won't let me near it!
  • Plankton: Wow! Clever Krabs, behind the painting ay Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Errrrrrrr...
  • Plankton: [sniffs] Say what am I smelling? do I smell something burning?
  • SpongeBob: [sniffs] Smells like blubber to me,
  • Plankton: Bl bl blubber?
  • Pearl: Daddy
  • Plankton: Ahhhhh! Call off your daughter Krabs! Call her off!
  • Mr. Krabs: She's a big girl Plankton, I have no control over what she does. And you better watch out. I think she's extra hungry today.
  • Plankton: Stay back whale! I'm pippy to what you do to organisms like me. I've seen those documentaries. [As he say this he backs up into the freezer]
  • Pearl: Did he just go into the freezer?
  • Plankton: [exits freezer and walks out the door] Don't say it!
  • Pearl: I prefer salad over Plankton anyway.
  • Mr. Krabs: Who knew Plankton was so afraid of whales? [chuckles evily] Pearl me darling daughter you saved my business and my Formular know get us out of this mess.
  • Pearl: Mall money.
  • Mr. Krabs: Alright, alright. [gives dollar to Pearl]. Pearl, why don't you go to the Chum Bucket on your way to the mall? Give Plankton a little scare?
  • Pearl: Double my mall money!
  • Mr. Krabs: [grunts] Alright, SpongeBob. It's your turn!
  • SpongeBob: Here you go, Pearl. Buy something pretty.
  • Pearl: Hey, this isn't money!
  • SpongeBob: No, it's even better. It's the money Mr. Krabs pays ME with. [money is shown] Mr. Krabs' Wacky Bucks!
  • Mr. Krabs: [to self] The boy's catching up to me. [to Pearl] Please, Pearl?
  • Pearl: No way! The Chum Bucket is, like, totally gross!
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, in that case, I'll need to borrow one of your dressers.
  • SpongeBob & Pearl: Hummina-hunh?/Huh?!
  • [Bubble transition to the Chum Bucket]
  • Plankton: [runs inside]
  • Karen: My triumphant husband returns. How'd you fail this time?
  • Plankton: Krabs had a whale!
  • Karen: You mean his big, scary, teenage daughter?
  • Plankton: I hear that mocking tone in your voice, and I don't appreciate it! Don't you remember what happened to my ancestors at the hands of those beasts?
  • [Plankton's family is shown being eaten by a whale]
  • Karen: When you take a break from your delusional paranoia, I think the trash needs some attention. It's ripened.
  • [Bubble transition to Plankton taking out the trash]
  • Pearl/Krabs: [emerges from dumpster] I'M HUNGRY!
  • Plankton: [Screams. He runs back inside and bars the door] That should keep her out!
  • Pearl/Krabs: [sneaks up behind him] I want Plankton meat!
  • Plankton: Holy, protozoa! [runs out the lab] Karen, she's here! She got in!
  • Karen: What are you blabbing about?
  • Plankton: The whale. She got in!
  • Karen: Are you out of your mind?
  • Plankton: See for youreself!
  • Karen: [checks the lab] No whale in here.
  • Plankton: She was just in here, Karen. She was next to the transmutator. She was right here in this spot! Her mouth all frothy, her blowhole blowing!
  • Karen: Ahhh, pipe down!
  • Plankton: But, Karen--!
  • Karen: I'm not listening.
  • Narrator: 16 Paranoia Filled Days Later...
  • Karen: [off microphone] Plankton, your dinner is ready. Plankton, can you hear me?
  • Plankton: Yes, Karen. I can hear you. Could you please bring it up? I can't risk stepping into the light. The whale might see me. [cries]
  • Pearl/Krabs: [laughs. Bubble transition to night]
  • Plankton: [Plankton is shown having a nightmare. He is seen being chased by Pearl and falls into her blowhole] Hey! Get me out of here! [Pearl flings him into her throat with her tongue. He falls into her stomache, where his ancestors find him]
  • Grand-Dad: Plankton, there you are!
  • Plankton: Grand-Dad? Is that you?
  • Grand-Dad: Yep, and you're pretty brave standing in that there gastric acid.
  • Plankton: Gastric acid? [his body is half-burned] Noooo! [wakes up from nightmare and screams] I CAN'T TAKE IT! Oh, this is driving me crazy! [cries]
  • Pearl/Krabs: [takes off disguise and laughs. Bubble transition to morning]
  • Plankton: [crying] What's the point of going on? I'll just be tortured for the rest of my life by that whale! [lies down] That's it. I'm done. The 4: 15 bus should be here any minute, now.
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton. Whatchya doing lying on the ground?
  • Plankton: Go away, CheeseHead! Can't you see I'm trying to get run over? Or better yet just step on me as hard as you can, will ya?
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Plankton, but that flies in the face of my good nature.
  • Plankton: That's okay. I'll just wait for the next bus.
  • SpongeBob: Okay, see ya.
  • [Cut to the Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: [erases a picture of Plankton] Goodbye, Pipsqueak!
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I just wanted to let you know that Plankton's lying down on the street—for loin.
  • Mr. Krabs: Really? He's a mess!
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I know you and Plankton are both sworn enemies and all, but putting on a costume to frighten him? Isn't that taking things a bit too far?
  • Mr. Krabs: May I remind you of the fact that you've disclosed the location of me safe, where I keep the secret formula?
  • SpongeBob: No need to remind me, sir. I've broken Rule #2 in the employee rulebook: Never give the location of the secret formula! Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll fix this.
  • [scene cuts to Plankton]
  • Plankton: [angryily] What does it take to get run over around here?!
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton.
  • Plankton: What, do you have mud in your ears? TAKE A HIKE!
  • SpongeBob: Yes, I remember. But, I just wanted to tell that the secret formula is not, I repeat NOT, in the safe behind the painting in Mr. Krabs's office.
  • Plankton: What difference does it make? There's no point ever since I've been tortured by that blasted whale.
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry. Everyone has a secret fear! For instance, Mr. Krabs's secret fear is... [whispers in Plankton's ear]
  • Plankton: Really?
  • SpongeBob: Yes, and that was Mr. Krabs in whale suit that you've been afraid of.
  • Plankton: So, you're saying that this whole time it was Krabs masquerading as a whale. [angerliy] Why that conniving bottomfeeder!
  • SpongeBob: But, certainly you wouldn't stop to the same level, would you?
  • Plankton: No, of course not.
  • SpongeBob: Well, back to your self-distructive behavior, Plankton. Thank you for this talk!
  • Plankton: No, no. Thank YOU! [laughs evily. Bubble transition]
  • Mr. Krabs: This is almost too fun! [puts on costume] Plankton ain't even a challenge no more!
  • Plankton: Oh, is that so.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, Plankton. Back for more, aren'y ya? Okay, here it goes. [breaths deeply] Boo!
  • Plankton: You don't scare me, Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: I ain't Krabs, I'm... uh, I mean... [Pearl's voice] I'm Pearl, not Krabs.
  • Plankton: The jigger's up, Krabs. I know all about the suit, AND your secret fear!
  • Mr. Krabs: Secret fear? [regular voice] What do you mean?
  • Plankton: See for yourself. [the robotic arm squeezes Mr. Krabs] Enjoy the show! [a mime is shown]
  • Mr. Krabs: No. No. Muh-muh-make it stop! Please!
  • Plankton: Doesn't feel so good to be on the other end of the stick, doesn't it? I feel wonderful!
  • SpongeBob: Um, Plankton, if I were you I wouldn't be so snug.
  • Plankton: Why?
  • SpongeBob: Because a hungry pod of whales have just arrived for its early feeding. [whales are outside]
  • Plankton: [scared] Ahhhh! Not another feeding! Get me out of here! [removes a nail from the floor and jumps inside. SpongeBob puts a cork in the hole, turns off a projector, making the whales disappear, and gets Mr. Krabs out of the robot arm]
  • Mr. Krabs: Thanks, SpongeBob! You really saved me! [to mime] Okay, you're beginning to get creepy, now.

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