"No Pictures Please" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season eleven. In this episode, Patrick leads an enthusiastic stranger on a tour of his favorite places in Bikini Bottom.
The episode begins at the Bikini Bottom bus depot. Patrick demands restitution from the worker. Said worker informs him that they do not sell balloons, so Patrick asks to speak to the manager. The worker then slams the ticket booth window on Patrick's face. A bus then arrives and drops off some tourists and a tour guide. The tour guide informs them where the bathrooms are and they all rush to them. The guide exclaims that he has to go to and drops his hat when rushing to the bathroom. Patrick then puts on the hat and says that he could be a tour guide. A tourist with a camera then opens the door of the bus and asks Patrick if he's the guide. Patrick says yes and begins to lead him on a tour of Bikini Bottom.
Patrick first takes him to the kissing stone of the ancients. He claims it brings good luck to anyone who kisses it. He then proceeds to kiss it but it turns out to actually be a woman who punches Patrick and walks off.
Patrick then takes the tourist to a hole that he had dug yesterday. Patrick proceeds to sit in the hole and says that it fits his buttocks. He then tells the tourist to try it and he ends up sinking all the way in but claims it fits his as well.
Patrick then takes him to a kid eating an ice cream cone. Patrick says that legend has it that the kid used to have an ice cream cone. His stomach then proceeds to eat the kid's ice cream cone. Said kid then angrily kicks Patrick and takes his ice cream back.
Patrick then takes the tourist to a man's living room, while he and his twins are watching television. Patrick claims the man called him a bad word once as the man shouts it was because Patrick had tried to eat his mailbox. Patrick claims he thought it was meatloaf as the man tells his twins to kick Patrick and the tourist out of their house. The two soar through the air and Patrick claims they are heading towards the fry cook, SpongeBob's house. The two then fall to the ground right outside his house.
Patrick and the tourist then begin watching SpongeBob as he sleeps. Patrick claims SpongeBob sucks his thumb but then realizes that he himself actually is sucking SpongeBob's thumb. An alarm clock in Patrick's stomach informs him that it is time for morning lunch. Patrick, the tourist, and Gary then begin eating food out of SpongeBob's refrigerator.
Patrick then shows the tourist Squidward as he is in the middle of showering. Squidward becomes extremely angry and kicks the two of them out of his house before repeatedly slamming his door, window and one of the clouds. SpongeBob is then seen running out of his house, repeatedly yelling "Late for work!" Patrick then informs the tourist it is time for second lunch as they follow SpongeBob.
At the Krusty Krab, Patrick catches Plankton trying to steal a Krabby Patty. He then begins to step on Plankton and the tourist joins in. Patrick then enters the kitchen and shows the tourist SpongeBob preparing Krabby Patty meat into several different objects. Patrick then shows the tourist how to cause the Krusty Krab toilet to overflow, which results in them being kicked out by Mr. Krabs.
At Sandy's treedome, the two drop in and fall onto Sandy's garden. The two then begin drying up without water helmets and rush out through the opening they made at the top of the treedome. Patrick's stomach alarm rings again and the tourist says it's time for third lunch. Sandy's treedome then fills up with water, angering Sandy as she watches them leave.
Patrick then goes to the graveyard and shows the tourist his dead friend Ol' Ribeye. The tourist shakes his hand, which causes his arm to fall off. This angers him and he chases the two out of the graveyard. They run past the bus from earlier and the tour guide notices that Patrick had stolen his hat, so he drives after them. They run to Patrick's house and are completely surrounding by an angry mob who all have complaints with Patrick and the tourist. Mr. Krabs informs an officer that the tourist has pictures of the Krabby Patty secret formula. Plankton is inside the camera and reveals there is no film. The tourist then reveals that neither he or the camera are even there and they both disappear. The surrounding mob then backs away frightened before running off.
The French narrator claims things always get weird in the tidal zone and begins laughing. The tourist can then be seen spinning away into the void.
The episode was confirmed by Vincent Waller on May 9, 2017.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Unknown Track 2 - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Title card.]
‣ Unknown Track 82 - Opening.
‣ Mischief Makers - Gilbert Vinter [Patrick at bus depot.]
‣ Droopy - Arthur Wilkinson ["Balloons?"]
‣ Out on the Town - Lew Vincent [Tourists line up to use the restroom.]
‣ Flower Display - Jack Shaindlin [Patrick becomes the tour guide of a tourist.]
‣ Danse Comique - Kenny Graham [Patrick shows the tourist the kissing stone.]
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks - Jeremy Wakefield [The stone gets up and walks away.]
‣ Stealth - Max Saunders [Patrick shows the tourist a hole in the ground.]
‣ The Donut Dilemma - Nicolas Carr [Patrick jumps into the hole.]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (k) - Jeremy Wakefield [Transition to next scene.]
‣ At the Zoo - Gerhard Trede [Patrick eats the ice cream of a kid.]
‣ Lap Steel - Nicolas Carr [Transition to next scene.]
‣ Nice and Friendly (a) - Dick Walter [Patrick and tourist at a fat guy's house.]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (f) - Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick and tourist thrown out of the fat guy's house.]
‣ The Silver Blade - Ilona Sekacz [Patrick and tourist flying through air.]
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks (y) - Jeremy Wakefield ["Everyone please gather all your belongings and follow me single file."]
‣ Solo Steel 4 - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob sleeping while Patrick and tourist watch him.]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (e) - Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick sucking SpongeBob's thumb.]
‣ Solo Steel 4 - Jeremy Wakefield ["Yes, I like sweet potatoes, thank you."]
‣ Solo Steel - Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick and tourist leave SpongeBob's bedroom.]
‣ The Pollywog Strut - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [Patrick, tourist and Gary eating sandwiches at SpongeBob's kitchen.]
‣ Tiki Lounge - Lionel Wendling, Gregory Ott [Squidward taking a shower.]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr [Squidward screams.]
‣ Happy Links 1-5 - Paul Fenoulhet [Squidward throws Patrick and tourist out of his house/SpongeBob leaves for work.]
‣ The Rake Hornpipe - Robert White [Patrick and tourist arrive at the Krusty Krab.]
‣ Happy Links 1-5 - Paul Fenoulhet [Tourist steps on Plankton.]
‣ Sailor's Sting 7 - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr [Patrick and tourist watching SpongeBob at the kitchen.]
‣ Lap Steel - Nicolas Carr [Photo of tourist.]
‣ ? [Patrick shows the tourist the toilet of the Krusty Krab.]
‣ Unknown Track 38 - Patrick shows the tourist the toilet of the Krusty Krab.
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks (III) - Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick flushes paper rolls down the toilet.]
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks - Jeremy Wakefield [Krabs throws Patrick and tourist out of the Krusty Krab.]
‣ Happy Links 1-5 - Paul Fenoulhet ["Gol, this is the best tour I've ever taken!"]
‣ Blissful Thought - Peter Knight [Patrick and tourist watching Sandy's treedome.]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (s) - Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick and tourist stumble into the treedome.]
‣ Danse Comique - Kenny Graham [Patrick and tourist dehydrating while Patrick talks about Sandy's treedome.]
‣ Goblin Ballet - Ernest Tomlinson [Patrick and tourist escape from Sandy's treedome, which gets flooded.]
‣ Unknown Track 66 - Patrick shows the tourist the cemetery.
‣ Terror by Night - Hubert Clifford [An skeleton named Ribeye emerges from his grave.]
‣ Shock Headed Peter - Ronald Hanmer ["This is my old pal Ribeye, everyone."]
‣ Straight from Hell - Gregor Narholz ["The management strongly advises that you... RUN AWAY!"]
‣ Sponge Monger - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Ribeye chases Patrick and tourist.]
‣ Grass Skirt Chase - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Tour guide chases Patrick and tourist.]
‣ Eight Dramatic Bridges - Ronald Hanmer [Sandy, Ribeye and Squidward complaining about Patrick and tourist.]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Ew!"]
‣ Deeply Moving Experience - Gerhard Trede [Krabs tells the police officer he wants the tourist's camera film.]
• Hot Steel and Slide Licks (o) - Jeremy Wakefield [Plankton's inside the tourist's camera.]
‣ Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Huh? That's strange."]
‣ Duologue - Derrick Mason ["Sorry for the misunderstanding everybody, but I didn't take any pictures today."]
‣ ? [Tourist vanishes.]
‣ Unknown Track 82 - Ending.
- As of February 8, 2018, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 9.3/10 based on 57 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a rating of 10.0/10 based on 2 votes.
- The name of the living skeleton Ol' Ribeye is possibly a reference to Rusty's Rib Eye.
- This is the second episode where the plot involves characters visiting a graveyard and meeting the living dead, the first being "One Krabs Trash."
- Mrs. Puff's legs and shoes are visible behind the girls' bathroom door when it is overflowing, but she does not appear at all in the crowd beforehand.
- Running gag: Patrick getting beat up, The tourist fish saying "Amazing!" and Krusty Krab customers stepping on Plankton.
- This episode takes place after "Sailor Mouth" because Patrick knows what a bad word is.
- This is the first episode to use the APM track The Rake Hornpipe since "Salsa Imbecilicus."
- This is the second appearance of Ryan, who debuted in “The Incredible Shrinking Sponge.”
- This episode premiered eight years after "Truth or Square" premiered.
- This episode may have taken place after "No Hat for Pat" because Patrick doesn't fall when he wears the tour guide's hat.