Template:EpisodeTr/120a
- [SpongeBob trying to open the door, but Patrick is sleeping outside and blocking his door. SpongeBob tries to push the door, he opens the door slightly, looks at Patrick]
- SpongeBob: Patrick!
- [SpongeBob closes the door, Patricks head falls down, which makes Patrick wake up]
- SpongeBob: What are you doing out here, silly?
- Patrick: I'm waiting for you. [grumbles] You're wearing that dumb hat, again! Everytime you wear that hat, it means you have to go out for the day.
- SpongeBob: Of course Patrick! This is my work hat!
- Patrick: Why don't you just take it off?
- SpongeBob: [laughs] I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, buddy.
- Patrick: Ugh! I hate that hat! Fine, have it your way! [Squidward walks out] Hmph. Looks like Squidward has enough time to play. Hey, Squidward!
- Squidward: What? [puts on hat]
- Patrick: Oh no! He's got the hat, too!
- SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick. I'll get finished with work, and we can play then.
- Patrick: I'll show you. I'll get a job and a hat!
- [They show Patrick spinning the Krusty Krab sign, Then the tourist and Mr. Krab start to fly away]
- Patrick: Do I get my hat, now Mr. Krabs?
- Mr. Krabs: Ehhh... what the heck. It pays to advertise. [Gives Patrick a Krusty Krab hat]
- Patrick: Yeah! Wheeee! [Then Patrick falls on his face, gets back up and falls down again]
- Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's the matter with Patrick?
- SpongeBob: Patrick, what's the matter?
- Patrick: Sometimes when I'm nervous, I forget how to stand!
- SpongeBob: He's nervous.
- Blue Fish: Ha ha! Look at that guy! He can't even stand on his own two feet!
- Pink Fish: Now that's something I'd pay for to watch!
- [Mr. Krabs looks at them, then neck stretches out over to them]
- Mr. Krabs: You mean, CASH money?!
- Pink Fish: Well, heck, yeah!
- Mr. Krabs: Five bucks.
- [Bubble transition. Patrick falls and everybody is laughing and cheering]
- Squidward: It's official. [everyone is still laughing] I hate everyone. [Patrick falls into the kitchen] You call that entertainment? Burace Yourself For True entertainment! [plays on clarinet]
- SpongeBob: Patrick, you alright?
- Patrick: I'm fine.
- Pink Fish: Oh, that horrible noise! [customers begin to leave]
- Mr. Krabs: What do you think you're doing, Squidward?
- Squidward: I'm entertaining Those Hevens.
- Mr. Krabs: We've got all the entertainment we need, thank you very much! [points to Patrick, but he's not there] Hey, where'd he go?
- SpongeBob: [guiding Patrick, who has tissue in his nose] That's buddy. Come on.
- Mr. Krabs: What's with him?
- SpongeBob: Patrick had a bloody nose, so I was going to walk him home.
- Mr. Krabs: A bloody nose, eh? Do ya think I was born yesterday, boy? He doesn't even have a nose. Now everybody, get back to work!! I'm Not Working Running A Happy Factory Here [SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick get back into there positions. to Patrick] keep up the good work!
- Patrick: Aye, aye, captain!
- [6 hours later. Patrick is still falling and three customers are watching as Billy passes by]
- Billy: Hey, is that buy still flopping?
- Customer: Yeah! Amazing isn't it?
- Billy: Doesn't that get old?
- Customer: He's got a point. I'm out
- Billy: Me, too. [everyone's leaving]
- Mr Krabs: Hey! What's going on?
- Harold: This guy's act is stale! We demand entertainment!
- Mr. Krabs: Well, what if I added a box? [puts Patrick on a box and he falls from it]
- Billy: Sort of the same thing, really.
- Mr. Krabs: Well, what if he fell from two boxes...? [adds another box, but the customers are still bored] ...into cream pie? [puts creme pie in place]
- Patrick: I like pie.
- Billy: Say, that sounds great! [crowd becomes excited]
- Mr. Krabs: Okay, let er rip! [Patrick falls headfirst into the pie. to Squidward] If the crowd gets bored, add more boxes!
- SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick... How are you feeling after your first day on the job?
- Patrick: [appearance morbidly disheveled] I feel like a million BUCKS... [falls over]
- Mr. Krabs: STEP RIGHT UP!!! WATCH PAT THE BUFFOON FALL INTO A BUCKET OF SPPIINNNYYY SEA URCHINS!!!
- SpongeBob: NO!
- Patrick: Hey SpongeBob. Here Squidward[gives hat to Squidward].Would you hold my hat so dont get hurt?
- [tries to fall several times, fails]
- Patrick: Would you give me a push?[Squidward pushes Patrick, Patrick "bends", Squidward falls]Oh look, theres my hat.[Grabs hat puts it on and falls].
- Nat: I paid to see two guys get mauled!
- Harold: Yeah, I want a refund!
- Mr. Krabs: Sorry, absolutely no refunds. [customers grumble] Hey, what are you doing! [Customers tear up his clothes and money flies in the air] Grandma help! [he is in his underwear] All right, you leave me no choice.
- Patrick: You're giving me a raise.
- Mr. Krabs: Not even close, you're fired. As long as I'm still standing, you will never wear this hat again!
- Patrick: Well, I guess it's back to being to no hat pat! [cries]
- Narrator: Epilogue.
- SpongeBob: Cheer up, Patrick. You can always wear my hat, anytime!
- [gives Patrick his hat]
- Patrick: [falls] Thanks, SpongeBob! You're the best!
- SpongeBob: Anytime, pal! Anytime!