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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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in: Episode transcripts, Season 1 transcripts, Transcripts
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Changes: Naughty Nautical Neighbors/transcript

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{{EpisodeTranscript}}
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{{EpisodeTr/4a}}
  
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{{L|''[The episode begins with a close-up of Squidward's soufflé on an oceanic sunset background.]''}}
⚫
{{L|Squidward|Wow. Squidward, this is the best soufflé you have ever created. Congratulations, chef! ''[gets dressed, takes a shower, gargles, and brushes his teeth. He re-enters the scene in a tuxedo and sits down at the table. He hears laughter from outside. He goes to the window and notices that SpongeBob and Patrick are playing with bubbles. SpongeBob whispers into a bubble and it floats over to Patrick and pops]''}}
  
  +
{{L|Squidward|Wow. Squidward, this is the best soufflé you have ever created. ''[blows kiss]'' Congratulations, chef!}}
  ⚫
{{L|''[Squidward gets dressed, takes a shower, gargles, and brushes his teeth. He re-enters the scene in a tuxedo with his hairpiece and sits down at the table. He hears SpongeBob giggling from outside. As Squidward is about to taste the soufflé, he hears Patrick and SpongeBob giggling from outside. Squidward goes to the window and notices that SpongeBob and Patrick are at his backyard playing with bubbles. SpongeBob whispers into a bubble and it floats over to Patrick and pops.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob Bubble|Hi, Patrick.}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob Bubble|Hi, Patrick.}}
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{{L|''[Patrick giggles as he whispers into a bubble and sends it over to SpongeBob where it pops]''}}
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{{L|''[Patrick giggles as he was about to blow a bubble. He eats the bubble and whispers into another bubble, sending it over to SpongeBob where it pops.]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick Bubble|Hi, SpongeBob.}}
  
{{L|Patrick Bubble|Hi, SpongeBob.}}
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{{L|''[SpongeBob giggles and Squidward, now annoyed, blows a bubble of his own from the liquid of his soufflé. SpongeBob whispers into another bubble]''}}
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{{L|''[SpongeBob giggles and Squidward, now annoyed, notices a liquid coming from his soufflé, pours it into a bowl and starts rapidly stirring the liquid with a fork until it becomes bubbly. Meanwhile, outside, SpongeBob whispers into another bubble]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispering into bubble]'' Patrick, you're my best friend in the whole neighborhood.}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispering into bubble]'' Patrick, you're my best friend in the whole neighborhood.}}
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{{L|''[the bubble floats over but is kicked when Squidward's bubble approaches, popping SpongeBob's bubble. Squidward's bubble floats over to Patrick and pops]''}}
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{{L|''[The scene cuts to Squidward's back window as he finishes stirring the liquid, and blows a bubble with it through the fork. Squidward's bubble is approached by SpongeBob's bubble, grows a leg, and kicks SpongeBob's bubble, thus popping it. Squidward's bubble floats over to Patrick and pops.]''}}
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{{L|Squidward Bubble|Patrick, you are the dumbest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to know.
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{{L|Squidward Bubble|''[mimicking SpongeBob]'' Patrick, you are the dumbest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to know.}}
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*''[Patrick frowns and blows a bubble, sending it over to SpongeBob]''}}
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{{L|''[Patrick frowns and blows a bubble, sending it over to SpongeBob]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick Bubble|Do you really think that, SpongeBob?}}
  
{{L|Patrick Bubble|Do you really think that, SpongeBob?}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispering into the bubble]'' Of course, Patrick. Anyone with eyes can see that. ''[the bubble floats over to Patrick and pops, followed by another bubble floating back over to SpongeBob]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[whispering into the bubble]'' Of course, Patrick. Anyone with eyes can see that.}}
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{{L|Patrick Bubble|Yeah? Well, I think you're ugly. ''[another bubble comes over and pops]'' Yellow is ugly! ''[2 other bubbles, but smaller, float over and pops, both containing raspberry noises for SpongeBob]''}}
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{{L|''[The bubble floats over to Patrick and pops, followed by another bubble floating back over to SpongeBob]''}}
  +
{{L|Patrick Bubble|Yeah? Well, I think you're ugly. ''[another bubble comes over and pops]'' Yellow is ugly! ''[two other bubbles, but smaller, float over and pops, both containing raspberry noises for SpongeBob]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[talks into the bubble, puzzled]'' Patrick, what are you talking about?}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[talks into the bubble, puzzled]'' Patrick, what are you talking about?}}
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*''[The bubble floats over to Patrick. Another bubble of Squidward's bubbles floats over to SpongeBob and pops]''
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{{L|''[The bubble floats over to Patrick. Another of Squidward's bubbles floats over to SpongeBob and pops]''}}
  +
{{L|Squidward Bubble|''[mimicking Patrick]'' SpongeBob, I no longer wish to know you.}}
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{{L|Squidward Bubble|SpongeBob, I no longer wish to know you. ''[SpongeBob gasps]'' You give bottom dwellers a bad name. ''[Squidward creates several other bubbles and they float over to SpongeBob]'' If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar. ''[Squidward laughs. Another bubble floats over to Patrick]'' Hey, Patrick, I heard there was a job opening down at the pet shop...as some newspaper!}}
  
  ⚫
{{L|''[SpongeBob gasps]''}}
⚫
{{L|Patrick|''[stands up and yells at SpongeBob]'' Well, that makes you a big dummy, you dummy!}}
  
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{{L|SpongeBob|''[stands up and yells at Patrick]'' Yeah, well, that means that, uhh...so are you!}}
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{{L|Squidward Bubble|''[mimicking Patrick]'' You give bottom dwellers a bad name.}}
  +
{{L|''[Squidward creates several other bubbles and they float over to SpongeBob]''}}
  +
{{L|Squidward Bubble|''[mimicking Patrick]'' If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar!}}
  +
{{L|''[Squidward chuckles. Another bubble floats over to Patrick]''}}
  +
{{L|Squidward Bubble|''[mimicking SpongeBob]'' Hey, Patrick, I heard there was a job opening down at the pet shop... as some newspaper!}}
  ⚫
{{L|Patrick|''[furiously stands up and angrily yells at SpongeBob]'' Then that makes you a big dummy, you dummy!}}
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[furiously stands up and angrily yells at Patrick]'' Yeah, well, that means that, uh... so are you!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Right, you're a turkey!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|Right, you're a turkey!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|What's that? ''[Squidward arrives outside with a lawn chair and his soufflé]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|What's that?}}
  +
{{L|''[Squidward arrives outside with a lawn chair and his soufflé]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|It's what you are!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|It's what you are!}}
⚫
*''[Squidward begins to laugh hysterically at SpongeBob and Patrick's arguing.]''
  
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, you're a bigger one!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, you're a bigger one!}}
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{{L|Patrick|Well, you're still yellow! And you know what else is yellow?}}
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{{L|Patrick|Why, you're still yellow! And do you know what else is yellow?}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|What?}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|What?!}}
  ⚫
{{L|''[Squidward begins to laugh hysterically at SpongeBob and Patrick's arguing.]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|You are!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|You are!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, yeah? Well it doesn't matter what you call me, 'cause I never wanna see you again anyway! ''[he goes inside through the back door and turns around]'' Aww, tartar sauce! ''[shuts door]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Yeah?! Well, it doesn't matter what you call me, 'cause I never wanna see you again anyway! ''[furiously goes inside through the back door and angrily turns around]'' Aww, tartar sauce! ''[angrily shuts the door, some houses in the background briefly jump of their foundations]''}}
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{{L|''[Patrick opens his rock, which closes and comes up sounding like an accordion. Squidward laughs and puts the soufflé and fork in his mouth. He chokes on the fork and his skin turns to a deep shade of blue as the letter "K" appears in his left eye and the letter "O" appears in his right eye and flashes appears. Squidward passes out]''}}
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{{L|''[Patrick angrily opens his rock, which closes and comes up sounding like an accordion.]'' }}
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{{L|''[Squidward laughs at Patrick, puts the soufflé and fork in his mouth and continues laughing, and moves his tentacles around in laughter, then lies back in laughter. Suddenly, he accidentally swallows the fork and choking on it and chokes on the fork repeatedly. His skin turns to a deep shade of blue as the letters "K" and "O" appear in his right eye and left eye respectively and flashes appear. Squidward passes out drooling.]''}}
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{{L|Patrick|Wow, Squidward, you're choking! ''[runs over to Squidward]'' Uhh...uhh, I know what to do, but I should wash my hands first. Oh, well. ''[he takes a deep breath and performs CPR on Squidward. As he is doing this, each one of Squidward's tentacles suction cups pops up. Eventually, the fork comes out and Patrick catches it]'' I win!}}
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{{L|Patrick|Wow, Squidward, you're choking! ''[runs over to Squidward]'' Uh... uh, I know what to do, but I should wash my hands first. Oh, well. ''[takes a deep breath and performs CPR on Squidward. As he is doing this, each one of Squidward's tentacles suction cups pops up. Eventually, the fork comes out and Patrick catches it]'' I win!}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Wow! Patrick, you saved me!}}
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{{L|Squidward|Wow, Patrick! You saved me!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|I did?}}
  
{{L|Patrick|I did?}}
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{{L|Squidward|Yup! You're a real lifesaver, friend! ''[shakes Patricks hands]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|Yup! You're a real lifesaver, friend! ''[shakes Patrick's hand]''}}
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{{L|Patrick|Friend? ''[holds Squidward]'' Friend...}}
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{{L|Patrick|Friend? ''[shakes Squidward]'' Friend...}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[uneasily]'' Yeah, Patrick, we're friends... ''[steps back]'' just friends. ''[they both notice SpongeBob is gazing from his window with a blank stare]''}}
  
{{L|Squidward|''[uneasily]'' Yeah, Patrick, we're friends... ''[steps back]'' just friends. ''[they both notice SpongeBob is gazing from his window with a blank stare]''}}
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{{L|Patrick|So what are we gonna do tonight, best friend? ''[walks with Squidward over to the Easter Island head]''}}
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{{L|Patrick|So what are we gonna do tonight, best friend? ''[grabs Squidward over to Squidward's Easter Island Head house]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Well, I was going to practice my clarinet solo.}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Well, I was going to practice my clarinet solo.}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Clarinet? I love music!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|Clarinet? I love music!}}
−
*''[inside the pineapple, SpongeBob watches the two go inside Squidward's house]''
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{{L|''[Inside the pineapple, SpongeBob watches the two go inside Squidward's house]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Ahh, who needs them? They're no fun anyway, right, Gary? ''[Gary is sleeping inside his shell]'' Gary? ''[knocks on his shell]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Ahh, who needs them? They're no fun anyway, right, Gary? ''[Gary is inside his shell]'' Gary? ''[knocks on his shell three times, it sounds hollow]''}}
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*''[cut to Squidward's]''
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{{L|''[Cut to Squidward's house]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|Squidward will be performing his version of Solitude in E minor.}}
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{{L|Squidward|Squidward will be performing his version of "Solitude in E Minor".}}
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{{L|Patrick|''[sitting on a bench while clapping]'' Yeah! E minor! All right! Yeah! ''[Squidward takes a deep breath and plays a note, and Patrick immediately falls asleep, to the annoyance of Squidward. Scene cuts to SpongeBob]''}}
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{{L|Patrick|''[sitting on a bench while clapping]'' Yeah! E minor! All right! Yeah!}}
  +
{{L|''[Squidward takes a deep breath and plays two notes, but Patrick immediately falls asleep and snores, to the annoyance of Squidward. Scene now cuts back to SpongeBob.]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Ah, what am I worried about? I got plenty of friends! I can name three right off the bat! ''[he holds up three fingers]'' Uhh... ''[he draws faces on each finger with a broken smile]'' The gang's all here... ''[he looks at the faces on his fingers, and his eyes well with tears]'' Ohhh!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Ah, what am I worried about? I've got plenty of friends! I can name three right off the bat! ''[holds up three fingers]'' Uhh...}}
⚫
*''[Squidward is dragging Patrick, who is still asleep, outside. Suddenly, after a few feet, his back gives out]''
  
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob draws faces on each finger with a broken smile]''}}
⚫
{{L|Squidward| My back! I threw out my back!}}
  
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|The gang's all here... ''[looks at the faces on his fingers, and his eyes well with tears]'' Ohhh!}}
  ⚫
{{L|''[Meanwhile, Squidward is angrily dragging Patrick, who is still asleep, outside. Suddenly, after a few feet, his back gives out.]''}}
  ⚫
{{L|Squidward|Oh-ho! Oh! My back! Ah! I threw out my back!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sees Squidward in pain]'' Oh, boy, now's my chance! ''[jumps out of the window]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sees Squidward in pain]'' Oh, boy, now's my chance! ''[jumps out of the window]''}}
−
{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob? No, no, stay back!}}
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{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob? No, no, no, stay back!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[running]'' Don't worry, Squidward! I'm coming!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[running]'' Don't worry, Squidward! I'm coming!}}
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{{L|Squidward|No, no, no, get away from me!}}
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{{L|Squidward|No, no, no, get...get away from me!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Hang on! I'll save you! ''[rips off his suit revealing a speedo underneath]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Hang on! I'll save you! ''[rips off his suit revealing a speedo underneath]''}}
−
{{L|Squidward|''[tries to get to his door]'' No, no! Get away from me! No, no!}}
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{{L|Squidward|''[tries to get to his door]'' No, no, no, no, no! Get away from me! No, no!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[jumps off a diving board]'' Hold on!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[jumps off a diving board]'' Hold on!}}
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{{L|Squidward|No, no! Get away! ''[screams as SpongeBob dives into his back cracking it back into place]'' Oh! I'm ruined! I'm...I'm...I'm...I-I feel great! Thanks, SpongeBob! You're a real friend! ''[SpongeBob smiles big]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|No, no! Get away! ''[screams as SpongeBob dives into his back cracking it back into place]'' Oh! I'm ruined! I'm... I'm... I'm... I-I feel great! Thanks, SpongeBob! You're a ''real'' friend!}}
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob smiles wide in glee]''}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|''Friiieeennd''...}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|''Friend''...}}
 
{{L|Squidward|N-no, no, no, I didn't mean that, no-no.}}
  
{{L|Squidward|N-no, no, no, I didn't mean that, no-no.}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Don't worry, Squiddy, old-pal. That's what friends are for. ''[Squidward and SpongeBob walk into the Easter Island head]'' So dumb Patrick fell asleep on ya, huh? Some friend. A real friend would perform for you!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Don't worry, Squiddy, old pal. That's what friends are for. ''[grabs Squidward over to Squidward's house]''}}
  +
{{L|''[Bubble transition to a view of Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses. SpongeBob and Squidward are inside Squidward's house.]''}}
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|So dumb Patrick fell asleep on ya, huh? Some friend. A real friend would perform for you!}}
 
{{L|Squidward|You play?}}
  
{{L|Squidward|You play?}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Are you kidding? I've been playing bassinet for years! ''[he takes one from the wall]'' Give me an A, buddy! ''[Squidward plays a note and SpongeBob sings]'' Squidward is my best friend in the world. ''[grates strings with bow]'' Squidward is my best friend in the sea...}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Are you kidding? I've been playing bassinet for years! ''[takes a double bass from the wall]'' Give me an A, buddy!}}
  +
{{L|''[Squidward plays a note and SpongeBob sings]''}}
⚫
*''[The bow flies into what looks like Squidward's head and he screams. Fortunately, it turns out it's just a painting; the real Squidward pulls the bow out and growls as he snaps it in half with his knee]''
  
−
{{L|SpongeBob|''[now playing with his fingers like a guitar]'' Squidward...}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|♪ Squidward is my best friend in the world / ''[grates strings with bow, irritating Squidward]'' Squidward is my best friend in the sea... ♪}}
  ⚫
{{L|''[The bow flies into what looks like Squidward's head and he screams. Fortunately, it turns out it's just a painting; the real Squidward furiously pulls the bow out and angrily growls as he violently snaps it in half with his knee]''}}
⚫
{{L|Patrick|''[opens the window]'' Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob. ''[SpongeBob slams the window]'' Oh!}}
  
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[now playing with his fingers like a guitar]'' ♪ Squidward... ♪}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|''[strums harder]'' And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer! ''[pounds bassinet on the ground, breaking it]'' Umm, I can fix this. ''[Squidward is steaming red and throws SpongeBob out]'' So, uhh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!}}
  
  +
{{L|''[Patrick, now fully awake, pops in through the window]''}}
⚫
{{L|Squidward|Yech! That was disgusting! I feel like I need to scrub myself. ''[opens up the curtain and screams after he sees Patrick in his tub]''}}
  
  ⚫
{{L|Patrick|♪ Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob! ♪ ''[SpongeBob violently slams the window in Patrick's face]'' Oh!}}
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[furiously strums harder before angrily slamming the bass to the floor]'' And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer! ''[accidentally smashes the bass]'' Um, I can fix this.}}
  +
{{L|''[Squidward is angrily steaming red in fury.]''}}
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[growling]'' ''[angrily kicks SpongeBob out]''}}
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|...So, uhh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!}}
  +
{{L|''[Cut to Squidward's bathroom. Squidward angrily begins walking into the bathroom.]''}}
  ⚫
{{L|Squidward|Yech! That was disgusting! I feel like I need to scrub myself. ''[opens up the curtain and screams after he sees Patrick in his bathtub]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for ya. ''[shows him a brush and soap]''}}
  
{{L|Patrick|Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for ya. ''[shows him a brush and soap]''}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Patrick! Get out! And put some clothes on! ''[SpongeBob peeks in through the upstairs window]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|Patrick! Get out! And put some clothes on!}}
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob peeks in through the upstairs window]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|What's the matter, Squidward, old buddy? ''[notices Patrick in the bath-tub]'' Oh, ho-ho, so this is what I find, huh? My best friend and my ex-best friend and... ''[shown bath toys]'' …rubber bath toys!}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|What's the matter, Squidward, old buddy? ''[notices Patrick in Squidward's bathtub and gasps]'' Oh, ho-ho! So this is what I find, huh?! My best friend and my ''ex''-best friend and... ''[shown a toy boat, a rubber duckie, and a bath ball]'' ...rubber bath toys!}}
−
{{L|Patrick|''[simultaneously]'' Oh, yeah?! Well, he was MY friend first!}}
 +
{{L|Patrick|''[simultaneously]'' Oh, yeah?! Well, he was ''my'' friend first!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[simultaneously]'' You're just a backbiting, backstabbing silly blob of...}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[simultaneously]'' You're just a backbiting, backstabbing silly blob of...}}
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[screams]'' This can't be happening to me! ''[runs away while SpongeBob and Patrick stop their arguing as they notice Squidward's gone]''}}
⚫
{{L|''[Squidward runs away]''}}
  
  ⚫
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Squidward!}}
−
{{L|Squidward|''[screams]'' This can't be happening to me!}}
  
−
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|Squidward?!}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|Buddy!}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Buddy?!}}
 +
{{L|Patrick|Squidward, where are you?!}}
⚫
{{L|Patrick|Squidward?!}}
  
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Where'd ya go, friend?}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Where'd ya go, friend?}}
−
{{L|Patrick|Where are ya, ol buddy?}}
 +
{{L|Patrick|Where are ya, ol' buddy?}}
−
{{L|Squidward|''[in a trash can]'' Oh, this is nuts! I need a plan to get those two back together and out of my hair!}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|''[hiding in a trash can]'' Oh, this is nuts! ''[trash can cover opens, revealing his head]'' I need a plan to get those two back together and outta my hair!}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|''[reading a magazine as the doorbell rings a letter is pushed under the door. Then he smells it]'' Squidward. ''[opens it]'' A dinner party? I'd love to! ''[SpongeBob knocks on Squidward's door and Squidward opens it]'' Did you miss me?}}
 +
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob reads a magazine. The doorbell rings, and a letter is pushed under the door. Then he smells it.]''}}
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[sniffs letter]'' Squidward. ''[opens it]'' A dinner party? I'd love to!}}
⚫
{{L|Squidward|Come on in! You look stunning. ''[shuts door]''}}
  
  +
{{L|''[Cut to SpongeBob knocking on Squidward's door and Squidward opens it]''}}
⚫
{{L|SpongeBob|I'd much rather dine with you than that lousy... ''[gasps when he sees Patrick]'' Say, what gives? I'm not sitting near that maniac!}}
  
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Did you miss me?}}
  ⚫
{{L|Squidward|Come on in! You look stunning. ''[shuts the door]''}}
  ⚫
{{L|SpongeBob|I'd much rather dine with you than that lousy... ''[gasps when he sees Patrick]'' Say, what gives?! I'm not sitting near that maniac!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Me neither! This was a setup!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|Me neither! This was a setup!}}
 
{{L|Squidward|I thought you two were my best friends.}}
  
{{L|Squidward|I thought you two were my best friends.}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|I ''am'' your best friend!}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|I ''am'' your best friend!}}
−
{{L|Squidward|''[takes out a bottle of soda]'' Well, how about some soda, guys? ''[SpongeBob shows him his glass]''}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|''[takes out a bottle of soda]'' Well, how about some soda, guys?}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Yes, please! ''[Squidward gives him some soda]'' Thanks, friend. ''[flicks Squidwards nose]''}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Yes, please! ''[Squidward gives him some soda]'' Thanks, friend. ''[flicks Squidward's nose and drinks]''}}
−
{{L|Patrick|How about some for your best friend? ''[SpongeBob puts his glass in front of Patrick's, so he gets the soda instead of Patrick]''}}
 +
{{L|Patrick|How about some for your best friend?}}
  +
{{L|''[SpongeBob puts his glass in front of Patrick's, so he gets the soda instead of Patrick]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks, best friend! ''[drinks]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks, best friend! ''[drinks]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Can I have some now, buddy?}}
  
{{L|Patrick|Can I have some now, buddy?}}
Line 89: Line 117:
 
{{L|Patrick|I still didn't get any! ''[SpongeBob gives Patrick his soda]''}}
  
{{L|Patrick|I still didn't get any! ''[SpongeBob gives Patrick his soda]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|There ya go. More please! ''[Squidward fills his glass as SpongeBob drinks it really fast]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|There ya go. More please! ''[Squidward fills his glass as SpongeBob drinks it really fast]''}}
  +
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Hey, Squidward!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Hey, Squidward!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
−
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward! ''[shows Squidward his glass again but it's still full]'' SQUIDWARD!}}
 +
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward! ''[shows Squidward his glass again, but it's still full]'' Hey, Squidward!}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Patrick! Your glass is full!}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Patrick! Your glass is full!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Oh, yeah...}}
  
{{L|Patrick|Oh, yeah...}}
Line 108: Line 138:
 
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Squidward!}}
 
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Hey, Squidward!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|''[shows Squidward his glass]'' Hey, Squidward!}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|''[both show Squidward their glasses]'' Squidward!}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob and Patrick|Squidward! ''[both show Squidward their glasses]'' Squidward!}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Sorry, boys, I'm all out of pop. I'm gonna go get some more. ''[walks away]'' Why don't you just stay here and chat? ''[closes door. Then we see SpongeBob and Patrick. They are extremely fat and not wanting to look at each other. Then SpongeBob hiccups and a bubble floats up and pops that sounds like a burp. Both of them laugh and the entire house is full of bubbles as Squidward walks up to his door. Then a crashing sound is heard]'' I should just walk away right now. ''[opens door to find his house destroyed]'' What a surprise... I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Squidward, what have we learned today? ''[pieces around the door break]''}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|Sorry, boys, I'm all out of pop. I'm gonna go get some more. ''[walks away]'' Why don't you two stay here and chat? ''[closes the door]''}}
  +
{{L|''[We then see SpongeBob and Patrick. They are extremely fat and not wanting to look at each other. Then SpongeBob hiccups and a bubble floats up and pops that sounds like a burp. Both of them laugh and the entire house is full of bubbles as Squidward walks up to his door with a grocery bag. Then an explosion and crashing sounds are heard.]''}}
⚫
{{L|SpongeBob|Guess what, Squidward? ''[both hug]''}}
  
  +
{{L|Squidward|I should just walk away right now. ''[opens door to find his house destroyed]'' What a surprise... I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Squidward, what have we learned today? ''[pieces around the door break]''}}
  ⚫
{{L|SpongeBob|Guess what, Squidward? ''[both SpongeBob and Patrick hold each others' hips in a friendly way]''}}
 
{{L|Patrick|Me and SpongeBob are friends again!}}
  
{{L|Patrick|Me and SpongeBob are friends again!}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Great, now go be friends somewhere else.}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|Great! Go be friends somewhere else.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Don't you want us to help you clean this up a little?}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Don't you want us to help you clean this up a little?}}
−
{{L|Squidward|NO! Out! ''[both walk out]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|''[yelling]'' No! Out!}}
  +
{{L|''[Both SpongeBob and Patrick walk out.]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Psst, I think he's jealous.}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Psst, I think he's jealous.}}
  +
{{L|Patrick|How pathetic.}}
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{{L|Patrick|How pathetic. ''[Squidward shuts door hard and when he turns around as a bubble comes and pops on the door witch causes to falls on his back]''}}
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{{L|''[Squidward angrily shuts the door hard and when he turns around as a bubble comes and pops on the door which causes the door to fall on his back.]''}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Oh, my back.}}
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{{L|Squidward|Oh-ho, my back! ''[the episode ends]''}}
⚫
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
  
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[[pl:Nieznośni sąsiedzi (transkrypt)]]
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[[pt-br:Vizinhos Nauticos Terriveis (transcrição)]]
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[[ru:Капризные соседи/Стенограмма]]
  ⚫
[[Category:Transcripts]]

Latest revision as of 01:27, 27 March 2024

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Naughty Nautical Neighbors" from season 1, which aired on August 7, 1999.

  • [The episode begins with a close-up of Squidward's soufflé on an oceanic sunset background.]
  • Squidward: Wow. Squidward, this is the best soufflé you have ever created. [blows kiss] Congratulations, chef!
  • [Squidward gets dressed, takes a shower, gargles, and brushes his teeth. He re-enters the scene in a tuxedo with his hairpiece and sits down at the table. He hears SpongeBob giggling from outside. As Squidward is about to taste the soufflé, he hears Patrick and SpongeBob giggling from outside. Squidward goes to the window and notices that SpongeBob and Patrick are at his backyard playing with bubbles. SpongeBob whispers into a bubble and it floats over to Patrick and pops.]
  • SpongeBob Bubble: Hi, Patrick.
  • [Patrick giggles as he was about to blow a bubble. He eats the bubble and whispers into another bubble, sending it over to SpongeBob where it pops.]
  • Patrick Bubble: Hi, SpongeBob.
  • [SpongeBob giggles and Squidward, now annoyed, notices a liquid coming from his soufflé, pours it into a bowl and starts rapidly stirring the liquid with a fork until it becomes bubbly. Meanwhile, outside, SpongeBob whispers into another bubble]
  • SpongeBob: [whispering into bubble] Patrick, you're my best friend in the whole neighborhood.
  • [The scene cuts to Squidward's back window as he finishes stirring the liquid, and blows a bubble with it through the fork. Squidward's bubble is approached by SpongeBob's bubble, grows a leg, and kicks SpongeBob's bubble, thus popping it. Squidward's bubble floats over to Patrick and pops.]
  • Squidward Bubble: [mimicking SpongeBob] Patrick, you are the dumbest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to know.
  • [Patrick frowns and blows a bubble, sending it over to SpongeBob]
  • Patrick Bubble: Do you really think that, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: [whispering into the bubble] Of course, Patrick. Anyone with eyes can see that.
  • [The bubble floats over to Patrick and pops, followed by another bubble floating back over to SpongeBob]
  • Patrick Bubble: Yeah? Well, I think you're ugly. [another bubble comes over and pops] Yellow is ugly! [two other bubbles, but smaller, float over and pops, both containing raspberry noises for SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: [talks into the bubble, puzzled] Patrick, what are you talking about?
  • [The bubble floats over to Patrick. Another of Squidward's bubbles floats over to SpongeBob and pops]
  • Squidward Bubble: [mimicking Patrick] SpongeBob, I no longer wish to know you.
  • [SpongeBob gasps]
  • Squidward Bubble: [mimicking Patrick] You give bottom dwellers a bad name.
  • [Squidward creates several other bubbles and they float over to SpongeBob]
  • Squidward Bubble: [mimicking Patrick] If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar!
  • [Squidward chuckles. Another bubble floats over to Patrick]
  • Squidward Bubble: [mimicking SpongeBob] Hey, Patrick, I heard there was a job opening down at the pet shop... as some newspaper!
  • Patrick: [furiously stands up and angrily yells at SpongeBob] Then that makes you a big dummy, you dummy!
  • SpongeBob: [furiously stands up and angrily yells at Patrick] Yeah, well, that means that, uh... so are you!
  • Patrick: Right, you're a turkey!
  • SpongeBob: What's that?
  • [Squidward arrives outside with a lawn chair and his soufflé]
  • Patrick: It's what you are!
  • SpongeBob: Well, you're a bigger one!
  • Patrick: Why, you're still yellow! And do you know what else is yellow?
  • SpongeBob: What?!
  • [Squidward begins to laugh hysterically at SpongeBob and Patrick's arguing.]
  • Patrick: You are!
  • SpongeBob: Yeah?! Well, it doesn't matter what you call me, 'cause I never wanna see you again anyway! [furiously goes inside through the back door and angrily turns around] Aww, tartar sauce! [angrily shuts the door, some houses in the background briefly jump of their foundations]
  • [Patrick angrily opens his rock, which closes and comes up sounding like an accordion.]
  • [Squidward laughs at Patrick, puts the soufflé and fork in his mouth and continues laughing, and moves his tentacles around in laughter, then lies back in laughter. Suddenly, he accidentally swallows the fork and choking on it and chokes on the fork repeatedly. His skin turns to a deep shade of blue as the letters "K" and "O" appear in his right eye and left eye respectively and flashes appear. Squidward passes out drooling.]
  • Patrick: Wow, Squidward, you're choking! [runs over to Squidward] Uh... uh, I know what to do, but I should wash my hands first. Oh, well. [takes a deep breath and performs CPR on Squidward. As he is doing this, each one of Squidward's tentacles suction cups pops up. Eventually, the fork comes out and Patrick catches it] I win!
  • Squidward: Wow, Patrick! You saved me!
  • Patrick: I did?
  • Squidward: Yup! You're a real lifesaver, friend! [shakes Patrick's hand]
  • Patrick: Friend? [shakes Squidward] Friend...
  • Squidward: [uneasily] Yeah, Patrick, we're friends... [steps back] just friends. [they both notice SpongeBob is gazing from his window with a blank stare]
  • Patrick: So what are we gonna do tonight, best friend? [grabs Squidward over to Squidward's Easter Island Head house]
  • Squidward: Well, I was going to practice my clarinet solo.
  • Patrick: Clarinet? I love music!
  • [Inside the pineapple, SpongeBob watches the two go inside Squidward's house]
  • SpongeBob: Ahh, who needs them? They're no fun anyway, right, Gary? [Gary is inside his shell] Gary? [knocks on his shell three times, it sounds hollow]
  • [Cut to Squidward's house]
  • Squidward: Squidward will be performing his version of "Solitude in E Minor".
  • Patrick: [sitting on a bench while clapping] Yeah! E minor! All right! Yeah!
  • [Squidward takes a deep breath and plays two notes, but Patrick immediately falls asleep and snores, to the annoyance of Squidward. Scene now cuts back to SpongeBob.]
  • SpongeBob: Ah, what am I worried about? I've got plenty of friends! I can name three right off the bat! [holds up three fingers] Uhh...
  • [SpongeBob draws faces on each finger with a broken smile]
  • SpongeBob: The gang's all here... [looks at the faces on his fingers, and his eyes well with tears] Ohhh!
  • [Meanwhile, Squidward is angrily dragging Patrick, who is still asleep, outside. Suddenly, after a few feet, his back gives out.]
  • Squidward: Oh-ho! Oh! My back! Ah! I threw out my back!
  • SpongeBob: [sees Squidward in pain] Oh, boy, now's my chance! [jumps out of the window]
  • Squidward: SpongeBob? No, no, no, stay back!
  • SpongeBob: [running] Don't worry, Squidward! I'm coming!
  • Squidward: No, no, no, get...get away from me!
  • SpongeBob: Hang on! I'll save you! [rips off his suit revealing a speedo underneath]
  • Squidward: [tries to get to his door] No, no, no, no, no! Get away from me! No, no!
  • SpongeBob: [jumps off a diving board] Hold on!
  • Squidward: No, no! Get away! [screams as SpongeBob dives into his back cracking it back into place] Oh! I'm ruined! I'm... I'm... I'm... I-I feel great! Thanks, SpongeBob! You're a real friend!
  • [SpongeBob smiles wide in glee]
  • SpongeBob: Friend...
  • Squidward: N-no, no, no, I didn't mean that, no-no.
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squiddy, old pal. That's what friends are for. [grabs Squidward over to Squidward's house]
  • [Bubble transition to a view of Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses. SpongeBob and Squidward are inside Squidward's house.]
  • SpongeBob: So dumb Patrick fell asleep on ya, huh? Some friend. A real friend would perform for you!
  • Squidward: You play?
  • SpongeBob: Are you kidding? I've been playing bassinet for years! [takes a double bass from the wall] Give me an A, buddy!
  • [Squidward plays a note and SpongeBob sings]
  • SpongeBob: ♪ Squidward is my best friend in the world / [grates strings with bow, irritating Squidward] Squidward is my best friend in the sea... ♪
  • [The bow flies into what looks like Squidward's head and he screams. Fortunately, it turns out it's just a painting; the real Squidward furiously pulls the bow out and angrily growls as he violently snaps it in half with his knee]
  • SpongeBob: [now playing with his fingers like a guitar] ♪ Squidward... ♪
  • [Patrick, now fully awake, pops in through the window]
  • Patrick: ♪ Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob! ♪ [SpongeBob violently slams the window in Patrick's face] Oh!
  • SpongeBob: [furiously strums harder before angrily slamming the bass to the floor] And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer! [accidentally smashes the bass] Um, I can fix this.
  • [Squidward is angrily steaming red in fury.]
  • Squidward: [growling] [angrily kicks SpongeBob out]
  • SpongeBob: ...So, uhh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!
  • [Cut to Squidward's bathroom. Squidward angrily begins walking into the bathroom.]
  • Squidward: Yech! That was disgusting! I feel like I need to scrub myself. [opens up the curtain and screams after he sees Patrick in his bathtub]
  • Patrick: Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for ya. [shows him a brush and soap]
  • Squidward: Patrick! Get out! And put some clothes on!
  • [SpongeBob peeks in through the upstairs window]
  • SpongeBob: What's the matter, Squidward, old buddy? [notices Patrick in Squidward's bathtub and gasps] Oh, ho-ho! So this is what I find, huh?! My best friend and my ex-best friend and... [shown a toy boat, a rubber duckie, and a bath ball] ...rubber bath toys!
  • Patrick: [simultaneously] Oh, yeah?! Well, he was my friend first!
  • SpongeBob: [simultaneously] You're just a backbiting, backstabbing silly blob of...
  • Squidward: [screams] This can't be happening to me! [runs away while SpongeBob and Patrick stop their arguing as they notice Squidward's gone]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: Buddy!
  • Patrick: Squidward, where are you?!
  • SpongeBob: Where'd ya go, friend?
  • Patrick: Where are ya, ol' buddy?
  • Squidward: [hiding in a trash can] Oh, this is nuts! [trash can cover opens, revealing his head] I need a plan to get those two back together and outta my hair!
  • [Bubble transition to SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob reads a magazine. The doorbell rings, and a letter is pushed under the door. Then he smells it.]
  • SpongeBob: [sniffs letter] Squidward. [opens it] A dinner party? I'd love to!
  • [Cut to SpongeBob knocking on Squidward's door and Squidward opens it]
  • SpongeBob: Did you miss me?
  • Squidward: Come on in! You look stunning. [shuts the door]
  • SpongeBob: I'd much rather dine with you than that lousy... [gasps when he sees Patrick] Say, what gives?! I'm not sitting near that maniac!
  • Patrick: Me neither! This was a setup!
  • Squidward: I thought you two were my best friends.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: I am your best friend!
  • Squidward: [takes out a bottle of soda] Well, how about some soda, guys?
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Yes, please! [Squidward gives him some soda] Thanks, friend. [flicks Squidward's nose and drinks]
  • Patrick: How about some for your best friend?
  • [SpongeBob puts his glass in front of Patrick's, so he gets the soda instead of Patrick]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks, best friend! [drinks]
  • Patrick: Can I have some now, buddy?
  • SpongeBob: Wait, I need some more! [pours SpongeBob another glass]
  • Patrick: I still didn't get any! [SpongeBob gives Patrick his soda]
  • SpongeBob: There ya go. More please! [Squidward fills his glass as SpongeBob drinks it really fast]
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! [shows Squidward his glass again, but it's still full] Hey, Squidward!
  • Squidward: Patrick! Your glass is full!
  • Patrick: Oh, yeah...
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward!
  • Patrick: [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! [both show Squidward their glasses] Squidward!
  • Squidward: Sorry, boys, I'm all out of pop. I'm gonna go get some more. [walks away] Why don't you two stay here and chat? [closes the door]
  • [We then see SpongeBob and Patrick. They are extremely fat and not wanting to look at each other. Then SpongeBob hiccups and a bubble floats up and pops that sounds like a burp. Both of them laugh and the entire house is full of bubbles as Squidward walks up to his door with a grocery bag. Then an explosion and crashing sounds are heard.]
  • Squidward: I should just walk away right now. [opens door to find his house destroyed] What a surprise... I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Squidward, what have we learned today? [pieces around the door break]
  • SpongeBob: Guess what, Squidward? [both SpongeBob and Patrick hold each others' hips in a friendly way]
  • Patrick: Me and SpongeBob are friends again!
  • Squidward: Great! Go be friends somewhere else.
  • SpongeBob: Don't you want us to help you clean this up a little?
  • Squidward: [yelling] No! Out!
  • [Both SpongeBob and Patrick walk out.]
  • SpongeBob: Psst, I think he's jealous.
  • Patrick: How pathetic.
  • [Squidward angrily shuts the door hard and when he turns around as a bubble comes and pops on the door which causes the door to fall on his back.]
  • Squidward: Oh-ho, my back! [the episode ends]
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