Nature Pants/transcript

Nature Pants
General
Season №:	1
Episode №:	9a
U.S. viewers (millions):	2.54
Airdate:	September 11, 1999
Chronology
Previous	"Squeaky Boots"
Next	"Opposite Day"

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Nature Pants" from season 1, which aired on September 11, 1999.

• [SpongeBob is grilling patties in the Krusty Krab kitchen until one of them suddenly levitates up from the grill and turns into a jellyfish. It floats out the window as the rest of the patties turn into jellyfish and do the same. SpongeBob follows them and flies out the window and turns into a jellyfish. He buzzes around Jellyfish Fields when he hears Mr. Krabs' voice]
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? SpongeBob! [the grill is on fire] Wake up, boy! You're burning me money! [SpongeBob wakes up from his dream and screams. Then runs behind Mr. Krabs]
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, what do we do?
• Mr. Krabs: Here, use this! [Hands SpongeBob a fire extinguisher. SpongeBob throws the F.E. at the grill and sets the fire larger than before. SpongeBob tries to blow on the fire to put it out until a fireman comes into the kitchen with a hose and sprays SpongeBob with the water. SpongeBob enlarges and falls backwards, which puts out the fire]
• Mr. Krabs & Fireman: Hooray! [SpongeBob shrinks and burns into a black sponge while Mr. Krabs scrapes him off the grill and onto a spatula]
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, come into me office. [in Mr. Krabs office] What's wrong, boy?
• SpongeBob: Well, I...
• Mr. Krabs: This is the fourth time this week I've had to scrape you off of something.
• SpongeBob: Well, I've been thinking.
• Mr. Krabs: We need to get you thinking about work. [stretches his eyes out]
• SpongeBob: No offense, Mr. Krabs, but I've been thinking about giving up my cold industrial life in favor of a more natural and free life among the jellyfish. [Mr. Krabs laughs]
• Mr. Krabs: Ah, SpongeBob, you wouldn't last even one day in the wild. This is your natural habitat. [shows kitchen] This is your wide-open range. [shows grill] These are your amber waves. [shows greasy fryers] And this... [picks up a spatula from the sink] ...ohh, this is your golden scepter, with which you rule! That's better than nasty old jellyfish, right, SpongeBob? [SpongeBob disappears] SpongeBob?
• SpongeBob: [walks out the Krusty Krab] I can too last more than one day. I'll show him. Aww, barnacles! [throws his hat on the ground]
• Mr. Krabs: [opens doors] SpongeBob, wait! [sees SpongeBob's hat on the ground and screams] Oh, he'll be back, alright. He'll be back. [SpongeBob is now giving his stuff away to his friends]
• SpongeBob: And Squidward, I want you to have my can opener. [gives it to him]
• Squidward: And I thought this friendship would never pay off. [walks away]
• Patrick: [teary-eyed] Are...are...are...are you sure you want to give me this mayonnaise?
• SpongeBob: It's all yours. [Patrick holds up a bunch of phone books]
• Patrick: A-a-and these old phone books?
• SpongeBob: All yours, old friend. [walks off] Patrick, there is one more thing I want you to have. [opens up a rectangular box that has the words "OL RELIABLE" on the front. A glowing jellyfish net is inside. SpongeBob throws the phone books away and picks up ol reliable]
• Patrick: Ol' Reliable?! [cries as Sandy walks up]
• Sandy: Howdy, y'all. Hey SpongeBob, you having a garage sale?
• SpongeBob: No Sandy, I'm giving up my material possessions to live in the wild with the jellyfish.
• Sandy: SpongeBob, of all the crazy schemes. Why would you want to live among the jellyfish? They're cold and mean and none too bright. [Sponge pats Sandy's helmet]
• SpongeBob: Oh, oh, Sandy. That's exactly the response I would expect from someone who lives the sham of a life I once lived. I'm going to prove I don't need all this stuff to be happy. [walks away] Maybe someday you'll wise up and join me. Good-bye. [walks behind a bush and takes his pants off] I won't be needing these. [drops pants and runs away] Buzz, buzz, buzz.
• Squidward: He took off his pants.
• Sandy: I'll give him a week. [walks away]
• Squidward: I'll give him eleven minutes. [walks away]
• Patrick: Patrick sad! [at Jellyfish Fields]
• SpongeBob: [touches Jellyfish Fields sign] I'm home. I'm home! I'm home! I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, Im home! [jellyfish knock SpongeBob down as they fly by] Brothers and sisters, wait for me! [jellyfish fly into a hive] Buzz-buzz. Buzz-buzz. Ok, I'm here! [jellyfish fly out of hive] Wait, I just got here. My jellyfish instincts tell me to go... [sticks his finger in his mouth and then in his head] ...that way. [points to where the jellyfish went] Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. [running after jellyfish all over the fields. Jellyfish devour a bunch of kelp. SpongeBob decides to try it but is disgusted and spits it out from his tongue] This is the life. [jellyfish are floating in the middle of the fields as SpongeBob walks into the middle of the group] Hey everybody, buzz-buzz. Buzz to you. Buzz, buzz, nice current today. Hey, what's the buzz? [wants to shake a jellyfish's hand] Hello, I'm Jellybob, and you are? [jellyfish stings him and his hand, causing it to start swelling] Uhh...nice to meet you. [hand gets huge and swollen. SpongeBob smells some aroma and goes to check and see that Patrick and Sandy are having a picnic with krabby patties]
• Sandy: "Here, Patrick, have a Krabby Patty!" [whispers into Patricks ear] There he is, Patrick. Say your line!
• Patrick: [reading off script] "Why thank you, Sandy, I would love one. [TAKE PATTY] Too bad SpongeBob isn't here. These are his favorites. I sure wish he'd come home. [sniffles] [TAKE BITE]". [tries to but throws the patty away and turns to SpongeBob] I can't do it! SpongeBob! Come back!
• SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm not coming home.
• Patrick: I miss you! Sandy misses you! Even Squidward misses you! [Squidward is throwing himself a party at home]
• SpongeBob: I'm happy here. This is my home now. [Sandy drags Patrick away]
• Patrick: No!! SpongeBob!! [later, SpongeBob comes in wiggling his arms and legs like the jellyfish]
• SpongeBob: Hey everybody! I'm back! I think I'm getting the hang of this. [jellyfish float away as the net is swung at SpongeBob, which knocks him down. Patrick is ready to capture SpongeBob with Ol Reliable] Patrick! What are you doing?
• Patrick: If I can't have you as a friend, I'm going to make you a trophy! I even picked out this nice jar for you! [shows a jar with a label on the front that says SPONGEBOB - FRIEND]
• SpongeBob: Patrick! Go home! I'm a jellyfish now! [Patrick swings the net at SpongeBob but SpongeBob runs away. Patrick goes after him. SpongeBob hides behind a snails shell but the snail slithers off. SpongeBob goes to hide behind a rock]
• Patrick: I can see you there! [SpongeBob hides behind a bush] I still see you! [SpongeBob hides behind another rock] You're going to look good on my mantel! [SpongeBob runs under neath an n shaped rock and peeks around. Patrick is underneath the rock on the top] Friends forever, SpongeBob! I got you now, SpongeBob! [falls on the ground and misses SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: Patrick! No! [Patrick runs after SpongeBob again as SpongeBob jumps into the jellyfish hive. Patrick tries to get the hive down with the net but fails multiple times]
• Patrick: Ok! So this is the way it's going to be. I hope you're happy. [breaks net in half]
• SpongeBob: Well, that's over. Back to jellyfish matters. [a drop of jelly lands on SpongeBob nose. He samples it] Mmm...jelly. [eats a lot of jelly as the jellyfish come back toward the hive] Ah, my jellyfish brethren are returning. [jellyfish buzz into the hive] Greetings, comrades! [jellyfish sting SpongeBob a lot and he screams. SpongeBob climbs out of the hive and runs as the jellyfish keep stinging him. Later, SpongeBob is in a cave] Being a jellyfish sure is fun. Buzz. [rips off a bushel of grass] Buzz. [pushes rock over as he uses it for his pillow] Buzz. [pushes the rock aside and gets cold. The blanket scrunches up but SpongeBob pushes it back down. Blanket scrunches up again and SpongeBob gets cold.] Hey! Eww, I'm itchy! Itchy, why am I so itchy! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! [takes off the blanket and reveals 9 poison sea urchins] Poison sea urchins! [screams and scratches the urchins off of him and runs out of the cave] Ow, ow, oh, itches. Ow, ow, itches. [crawls on the ground to stop the itching. Later, SpongeBob is walking towards his house] Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. [buzzes 14 more times as he walks up to the Krusty Krab door and sees a plate full of krabby patties on a table] Krabby Patties. [walks past Sandys treedome then he cries] Sandy. [still buzzing, walks up to his pineapple] What have I done? I had a great life and friends, and I gave all of that up. [opens door and turns the light on. Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Squidward, Patrick, and Gary are there to welcome him home]
• All: Welcome home, SpongeBob!
• SpongeBob: You guys are the best! I made a huge mistake. Please forgive me!
• Mr. Krabs: Ah, quit your blubbering and have a Krabby Patty. [hands him a krabby patty]
• SpongeBob: Don't mind if I do. [eats it as Mr. Krabs places his krusty krew hat on his head]
• Mr. Krabs: And I'll see you at work first thing tomorrow morning.
• SpongeBob: [salutes] Aye, aye, captain!
• Squidward: SpongeBob, do us all a favor. [hands SpongeBob his pants]
• SpongeBob: Don't mind if I do. [puts on his pants] Ta-da! [hugs Squidward] Aww...
• Squidward: Ok, that's enough. [everyone else hugs SpongeBob and Squidward]
• Gary: Meow.
• Squidward: Can we please stop this? [everyone stops hugging]
• Patrick: Patrick itchy! [everyone but SpongeBob starts to scratch themselves and crawl on the floor]
• SpongeBob: It is great to be home!.