Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Nature Pants" from season 1, which aired on September 11, 1999.

  • [The episode begins with Dream SpongeBob grilling Krabby Patties in the Krusty Krab kitchen until one of them suddenly levitates up from the grill and turns into a jellyfish. It floats out the window as the rest of the patties turn into jellyfish and do the same. Dream SpongeBob follows them and flies out the window and turns into a jellyfish. He buzzes around Jellyfish Fields when he hears Mr. Krabs voice.]
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? SpongeBob!
  • [Shows reality of SpongeBob at the kitchen. The grill is on fire, smoke clearly coming out of it]
  • Mr. Krabs: Wake up, boy! You're burning me money!
  • [SpongeBob wakes up from his dream and screams. Then runs behind Mr. Krabs]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, what do we do?
  • Mr. Krabs: Here, use this!
  • [Mr. Krabs hands SpongeBob a fire extinguisher. SpongeBob throws it at the grill. Mr. Krabs glares at the smiling SpongeBob for his stupidity, as he realizes his error before the grill's fire becomes larger than before.]
  • SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs: Whoa!
  • [SpongeBob runs up to the grill and tries to blow out the fire to no avail. Until a fireman comes into the kitchen with a hose]
  • Fireman: [imitating the sound of a fire truck]
  • [Fireman sprays SpongeBob with the water. SpongeBob enlarges and falls backwards, which puts out the fire]
  • Mr. Krabs and Fireman: Hooray! [SpongeBob shrinks and burns into a black sponge while Mr. Krabs scrapes him off the grill and on to a spatula]
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, come into me office.
  • [Bubble transition to Mr. Krabs office]
  • Mr. Krabs: What's wrong, boy?
  • SpongeBob: Well, I...
  • Mr. Krabs: This is the fourth time this week I've had to scrape you off of something.
  • SpongeBob: Well, I've been thinking.
  • Mr. Krabs: We need to get you thinking about work. [stretches his eyes out]
  • SpongeBob: No offense, Mr. Krabs, but I've been thinking about giving up my cold industrial life in favor of a more natural and free life among the jellyfish.
  • [Mr. Krabs's eyes suck back in, and his eyes now stick back up as normal]
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs a very long time. Cut to an aerial view of the Krusty Krab, then back to inside the kitchen.] Ah, SpongeBob, you wouldn't last even one day in the wild. This is your natural habitat. [shows the kitchen] This is your wide open range. [shows the grill] These are your amber waves. [shows the greasy fryers] And this? [picks up a spatula from the sink] Oh, this is your golden scepter, with which you rule! Well, that's better than nasty old jellyfish, right, SpongeBob? [SpongeBob is gone. Mr. Krabs looks around his head.] SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: [walks out the Krusty Krab] I can too last more than one day. I'll show him. Aw, barnacles! [throws his hat on the ground]
  • Mr. Krabs: [opens the doors] SpongeBob, wait! [sees SpongeBob's hat on the ground and gasps, revealing the hat has been dropped] Oh, he'll be back, alright. He'll be back.
  • [The scene fades to SpongeBob's neighborhood. SpongeBob is now giving his stuff away to his friends Patrick and Squidward.]
  • SpongeBob: And, Squidward, I want you to have my can opener. [gives it to him]
  • Squidward: And I thought this friendship would never pay off. [walks away]
  • Patrick: [teary-eyed] Are-are-are-are you sure you want to give me this mayonnaise? [shows him the jar of mayonnaise]
  • SpongeBob: It's all yours.
  • [Patrick holds up a bunch of phone books]
  • Patrick: A-a-and these old phone books?
  • SpongeBob: All yours, old friend. [walks off and comes back with a case] Patrick, there is one more thing I want you to have. [Opens up a rectangular box that has the words "Ol' Reliable" on the front. A glowing jellyfish net is inside. Patrick gasps and pants with excitement as he throws the phone books away and picks up Ol' Reliable]
  • Patrick: Oh! O-o-ol' Reliable? [cries as Sandy walks up]
  • Sandy: Howdy, y'all. Hey, SpongeBob, you having a garage sale?
  • SpongeBob: No, Sandy, I'm giving up my material possessions to live in the wild with the jellyfish.
  • Sandy: SpongeBob, of all the crazy schemes. Why would you want to live among the jellyfish? They're cold and mean and none too bright.
  • [SpongeBob pats Sandy's helmet]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, oh, Sandy. That's exactly the response I would expect from someone who lives the sham of a life I once lived. I'm gonna prove I don't need all this stuff to be happy. [walks away] Maybe someday you'll wise up and join me. Goodbye. [walks behind a bush and takes his pants off] I won't be needing these. [drops his pants and runs away] Buzz, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, buzz. [His friends see SpongeBob's actions: Patrick clearly upset, shaking himself, Squidward feeling indifferent, and Sandy feeling concerned.]
  • Squidward: He took off his pants.
  • Sandy: I'll give him a week. [walks away]
  • Squidward: I'll give him eleven minutes. [walks away, throwing off the can opener at Patrick.]
  • Patrick: Patrick sad!
  • [The scene cuts to Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob touches the Jellyfish Fields sign.]
  • SpongeBob: I'm...home. I'm home! I'm home! I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home, I'm home! [jellyfish knock SpongeBob down as they fly by] Brothers and sisters, wait for me! [jellyfish fly into a hive] Buzz buzz. Buzz buzz. Okay, I'm here! [jellyfish fly out of hive] Wait, I just got here. My jellyfish instincts tell me to go... [sticks his finger in his mouth and then in his head] ...that way. [points to where the jellyfish went] Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz. [running after jellyfish all over the fields. Jellyfish devour a bunch of kelp. SpongeBob decides to try it but is disgusted and spits it out from his tongue] This is the life. [notices jellyfish are floating in the middle of the fields and SpongeBob starts walking into the middle of the group] Hey, everybody, buzz buzz. B-buzz to you. Buzz, buzz, nice current today. Hey, what's the buzz? [wants to shake a jellyfish's hand] Hello, I'm JellyBob, and you are? [the jellyfish stings his hand] Uhh... nice to meet you. [hand gets huge and swollen, and the jellyfish flies away. SpongeBob smells some aroma and goes to check and see that Patrick and Sandy are having a picnic with Krabby Patties]
  • Sandy: Here, Patrick, have a Krabby Patty! [whispers into Patrick's ear] There he is, Patrick. Say your line.
  • Patrick: [reading off his script] "Why, thank you, Sandy, I would love one. (take patty)." [takes the patty] "Too bad SpongeBob isn't here. These are his favorites. I sure wish he'd come home. (take bite)." [sniffles. tries to take a bite, but throws the patty and the script away and turns to SpongeBob] I can't do it! SpongeBob! Come back!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm not coming home.
  • Patrick: I miss you! [cut to Sandy waving hello, but in guilty manner because of set-up] Sandy misses you! Even Squidward misses you!
  • [Cut to Squidward throwing himself a party at his home.]
  • Squidward: Whoopee! Ha ha! Yeah! Ha ha! Ha! Heh! Ha-ha-cha!
  • [Cut back to Jellyfish Fields.]
  • SpongeBob: I'm happy here. This is my home now. [Sandy drags Patrick away]
  • Patrick: No! SpongeBob!
  • [Bubble transition to the jellyfish wiggling their arms and legs. SpongeBob comes in and follows their patterns.]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, everybody! I'm back! I think I'm getting the hang of this.
  • [Jellyfish float away as the net is swung at SpongeBob, which knocks him down. Out of nowhere, Patrick, breathing heavily in anger, is ready to capture SpongeBob with Ol' Reliable]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! What are you doing?
  • Patrick: [eyes tearing] If I can't have you as a friend, I'm gonna make you a trophy! [Violently swings his jellyfish net once, as if to catch a jellyfish. He then shows a jar with a label on the front that reads "SpongeBob - Friend"] I even picked out this nice jar for you! [shows SpongeBob the jar]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! Go home! I'm a jellyfish now!
  • [Patrick swings the net at SpongeBob but SpongeBob runs away. Patrick does a war cry. After hearing Patrick's war cry, SpongeBob runs away and hides behind a rock while breathing heavily but the rock is actually a giant snail's shell.]
  • Rock snail: Meow. [slithers away]
  • [SpongeBob flees from the roaring Patrick. Patrick continues making a war cry and then begins chases SpongeBob. SpongeBob then hides behind a rock]
  • Patrick: I can see you there! [SpongeBob hides behind a bush] I still see you! [SpongeBob hides behind another rock] You're gonna look good on my mantel! [SpongeBob continues fleeing from Patrick] Friends forever, SpongeBob!
  • [SpongeBob runs underneath an arch rock and gasps for oxygen. He spots Patrick underneath the rock on the top]
  • Patrick: [savaged look] I got you now, SpongeBob! [falls on the ground and misses SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! No!
  • [Patrick runs after SpongeBob again as SpongeBob jumps into the jellyfish hive. Patrick tries to get the hive down with the net, but he can't reach it. He vainly tries to jump to reach the hive, to no avail.]
  • Patrick: Okay! So this is the way it's gonna be. I hope you're happy! [snaps the net in half over his knee and walks away, sobbing]
  • SpongeBob: Well, that's over. Back to jellyfish matters. [a drop of jelly lands on SpongeBob nose. He samples it] Mmm, jelly. [eats a lot of jelly as the jellyfish come back toward the hive] Ah, my jellyfish brethren are returning! [jellyfish buzz into the hive] Greetings, comrades!
  • [The jellyfish repeatedly sting SpongeBob and he screams. SpongeBob climbs out of the hive with several bites and runs as the jellyfish keep stinging him.]
  • [Later at night, SpongeBob is in a cave. He sits isolated, full of blisters, all blue from coldness, and accompanied only by some grass.]
  • SpongeBob: [feeling burnt out emotionally] Being a jellyfish sure is fun. Buzz. [rips off a bushel of grass] Buzz. [pushes a rock over as he uses it for his pillow] Buzz. [pushes the rock aside and gets cold. The blanket scrunches up, but SpongeBob pushes it back down. The blanket scrunches up again and SpongeBob gets cold] Hey! Eww, I'm itchy! Itchy, why am I so itchy! [takes off the blanket and reveals nine poison sea urchins] [screams] Poison sea urchins!
  • [SpongeBob screams and scratches the urchins off of him and runs out of the cave to scratch off against a rocky stalagmite.]
  • SpongeBob: Ow, ow, oh, itches. Ow, ow, itches. [Continues speaking in pain, and crawls on the ground to stop the itching.]
  • [Later, SpongeBob is walking home, back to Bikini Bottom, at night]
  • SpongeBob: Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. [says "Buzz" fourteen more times as he walks up to the Krusty Krab door with a "Closed" sign and sees a plate full of Krabby Patties on a table] Krabby Patties. Buzz. Buzz. [walks past Sandy's treedome, then he sniffles] Sandy. [still saying "Buzz," walks up to his pineapple] What have I done? I had a great life and friends, and I gave all of that up.
  • [SpongeBob opens the door. The light turns on. Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Squidward, Patrick, and Gary are there to welcome him home]
  • Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and Sandy: Welcome home, SpongeBob! [Squidward blows a party blower]
  • SpongeBob: You guys are the best! I made a huge mistake. Please forgive me!
  • Mr. Krabs: Ah, quit your blubbering and have a Krabby Patty. [hands him a Krabby Patty]
  • SpongeBob: Don't mind if I do. [eats it as Mr. Krabs places his Krusty Crew hat on his head]
  • Mr. Krabs: And I'll see you at work first thing tomorrow morning.
  • SpongeBob: [salutes] Aye, aye, captain!
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, do us all a favor. [hands SpongeBob his pants]
  • SpongeBob: Don't mind if I do! [puts on his pants] Ta-dah. [hugs Squidward] Aww.
  • Squidward: Okay, that's enough. [everyone else hugs SpongeBob and Squidward]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • Squidward: Could we please stop this? [everyone stops hugging]
  • Patrick: Patrick itchy! [everyone but SpongeBob starts to scratch themselves and crawl on the floor]
  • SpongeBob: It is great to be home! [The episode ends.]
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