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My Pretty Seahorse (transcript)

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My Pretty Seahorse
General
Season №: 3
Episode №: 42b
Airdate: July 12, 2002
Chronology
Previous: Club SpongeBob
Next: The Bully
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "My Pretty Seahorse" from season three, which aired on July 12, 2002.

  • Narrator: Ah, springtime in Bikini Bottom. All sea creatures have an innate sense of the seasonal changes... [Patrick's jumps out of his rock with a purple sweater on] ...like the starfish. A quick survey of his environment... [scratches his back] ...and he knows that.
  • Patrick: It's spring!
  • Narrator: The starfish then sheds his winter coat [takes his sweater off] and stores it away safe for winter. [buries the sweater in the sand]
  • SpongeBob: [walks outside and smells the air] I'd better call the doctor, 'cause I've got spring fever! Good morning, little flowers. [sniffs them into his nose] Hello Squidward, isn't it a lovely day?
  • Squidward: Huh?
  • SpongeBob: Have you said hello to the flowers yet?
  • Squidward: [sighs] Good morning, flowers. [flowers hiss at him like snakes. Squidward runs inside]
  • SpongeBob: Gosh, I didn't know Squidward had hay fever. I'll do him the kindness and plant him some hypoallergenic flowers. [SpongeBob digs a hole and puts the flower in it] You're on your way. I bet you're thirsty. [turns around and grabs his container. When he turns back around, the flower is half eaten. Plants a new flower. Turns around and grabs the container of water, he sees the flower is eaten again] Huh? [plants a new one] I'm not taking my eyes off you. [eyes stretch out staring at the flower]
  • Narrator: Three days later...
  • [SpongeBob is still staring but his eyes have shriveled up so he uses the water to make his eyes normal]
  • Patrick: [running by] Hey, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: [turns around] Hi Patrick! [when SpongeBob turns around, the flower is eaten again] How does this keep happening? [notices a seahorse eating the flower next to him] Hi. [horse neighs then gallops onto a rock] She's beautiful! [SpongeBob imagines riding the seahorse with a head full of wavy hair] What a magnificent seahorse. I shall tame her. Who knows what we can accomplish? [scene cuts to seahorse eating some flowers and SpongeBob looking at her from a distance writing in a book] Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her Mystery. Hmmm, now that I think of it, she is very graceful and majestic. Perhaps I should name her Grace, or Majesty, or Debbie. [seahorse neighs] She must have spotted my floral bookmark! [using a flower bookmark in his book. The seahorse gallops over slowly] She's coming this way. That's it girl. Don't be afraid. I'm just a talking sponge, is all. [sniffs the bookmark then eats it. Scene cuts to SpongeBob riding with Mystery, blowing a bubble heart, posting for Mystery, making stamp books, and walking out of a store laughing with hats. Scene cuts to nighttime in SpongeBob's bed where SpongeBob is sleeping on the floor and Mystery is in SpongeBob's bed] Gosh, Mystery, that was the greatest day of my life. Do you think we'll be friends forever? [Mystery is asleep] I'll take that as a yes!
  • Squidward: [it's now morning as Squidward rides his bike. Then SpongeBob and Mystery gallop by him] What the...?
  • SpongeBob: Hey Squidward! Still riding a machine to work, I see!
  • Squidward: Don't say anything Squidward, remember your karma. [Squidward's bike trips on something and he falls off a cliff then explodes. He groans. SpongeBob arrives at the Krusty Krab and ties Mystery to a bike rack]
  • SpongeBob: Whoa girl. Now you wait out here until I'm done with work. See you at the end out my shift. [walks in as Scooter and a friend walk by]
  • Scooter: Hey look, Mr Krabs put in a kiddy ride!
  • Lloyd: Why don't you try it out? [Scooter gets out a quarter]
  • Scooter: I can't find the coin slot. Here it is! [Scooter finds the coin slot but Mystery kicks Scooter into the background and he explodes]
  • Scooter: [runs off] Help! Kiddy ride on the loose!
  • Mr. Krabs: [walks out] What's with all the ruckus? [gasps] A monster scaring away me customers!
  • SpongeBob: That's not a monster Mr. Krabs, it's a horse. She's my friend. Her name is Mystery.
  • Mr. Krabs: You're a mystery, SpongeBob. [SpongeBob laughs] Get rid of it.
  • SpongeBob: Huh? Please, Mr. Krabs, let her stay! She won't hurt nobody nohow!
  • Mr. Krabs: It's either you or Mystery.
  • SpongeBob: I knew I should've named her Debbie. [scene cuts to SpongeBob, sad, grilling up some patties]
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, thanks for finally getting rid of that horse!
  • SpongeBob: [in a sad voice] You're welcome, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: Now, if we could only get rid of Squidward. [laughs then walks out]
  • SpongeBob: Good one, sir. [takes his pair of sad eye contacts off] Ha, it worked, girl! [opens the cabinet with Mystery inside it] We'll just keep you here until Patrick finishes that stable I asked him to build. [scene cuts to Patrick with a board on his forehead] Only eight more hours. [closes cupboards]
  • Narrator: Twelve seconds later... [Mystery peeks out of the cupboard]
  • SpongeBob: No, Mystery, you can't come out yet. If old man Krabs sees you, I'll lose my job. [SpongeBob gives her a tray with a patty on it] I bet you're hungry. How about some lunch? [Mystery eats the patty and neighs] Shhh! Girl, you got to be quiet or...
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! [SpongeBob closes the cabinet quickly as Mr. Krabs comes bursting in] What was that? Is that horse in here?
  • SpongeBob: No, Mr. Krabs. I was just practicing my imitation of Mystery. Wheesnoff.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, keep working on it! That was terrible! [walks out]
  • SpongeBob: That was close. [gets a tray with three patties] From now on, no more hijinks. Order up! [puts the tray on the window. Mystery eats it. Squidward walks up to the window]
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, where's my order?
  • SpongeBob: Did you look under the tray?
  • Squidward: No I didn't, sorry. [looks under the tray then sighs] SpongeBob, could you just get my order?
  • SpongeBob: They vanished. Squidward, do you think the Krusty Krab is haunted? What if they come for me next? I gotta get out of here! [runs to the door]
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, there's no ghosts!
  • SpongeBob: Oh.
  • Squidward: In case you've forgotten, here's how things work. I order the food, you cook the food, the customer gets the food. [SpongeBob's eyes move to the side of his face as he notices Mystery eating a customers food. Squidward is still talking] We do that for forty years and then we die. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you Squidward. I'll be right back. [grabs Mystery and shoves her under a cupboard]
  • Squidward: What's that?
  • SpongeBob: Don't tell Mr. Krabs! I got it all under control! [closes the cupboard] Now then, you were saying?
  • Squidward: Just get my order. [walks out]
  • SpongeBob: You got it, Squidward? [chuckles] Ghosts. [Mystery eats SpongeBob's hat] Mystery, you ate my hat! [Mystery burps out a spatula] Mystery, you ate my spatula! You ate all the Krabby Patties! You ate the stove! You ate Old Man Jenkins!
  • Old Man Jenkins: [from inside Mystery's belly] I don't want to be a burden.
  • Squidward: [customers yelling...] Folks, we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen.
  • Thaddeus: Where's our food?
  • Fred: I'm so hungry!
  • Tina: This is my only lunch hour!
  • Tom: Where's Old Man Jenkins?
  • Squidward: Take it easy, the food's no good here, anyway.
  • Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's going on in here?
  • Squidward: Why don't you ask CowBob RanchPants and his faithful companion Sir Eats-A-Lot?
  • Mr. Krabs: [runs into the kitchen] SpongeBob, what's the meaning of all these nicknames? Davey H Jones! [SpongeBob is by Mystery's side, who has eaten too much]
  • SpongeBob: Mystery got a belly-ache from eating Krabby Patties, so I made her a bi-carbonated soda. [Mystery spits out Old Man Jenkins]
  • Old Man Jenkins: What did I miss? [Mr. Krabs takes out his eyes, blows up on them, rubs them, and puts them back on
  • Mr. Krabs: So, my eyes are correct! You still have that horse even when I ordered you to get rid of it! Well, now I'm going to get rid of it once and for all!
  • SpongeBob: No, Mr. Krabs! Don't make me give up Mystery! I know you think she's just a horse, but she's more than that, I tell you. She listens to me. She understands everything I say and I understand her! She's my best friend! [Mystery licks SpongeBob's cheek. Squidward cries but because of a bowl of onions near him]
  • Squidward: Hey, who left this bowl of onions here?
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, your story has touched me heart. Believe it or not, I know what it's like to give up a best friend.
  • SpongeBob: You do?
  • Mr. Krabs: I was five years old and me father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar. Loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together.
  • SpongeBob: What happened to the dollar, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: And one day at the beach, it was so hot and I was so thirsty! I spent it on a soda! [sobbing] My best friend (crying)! [Squidward cries but from the bowl of onions again]
  • Squidward: What? Would you get out of here?
  • Mr. Krabs: The point is, sometimes you have to set things free even though it's hard. [points to Mystery] Look at her. She misses the great outdoors, the wide-open spaces, the rolling green pastures. The kitchen is no place for a live horse. [two customers spit out their patties]
  • SpongeBob: Alright, Mr. Krabs, I understand.
  • Peterson: [crying from the bowl of onions Squidward is holding under his nose] Hey!
  • SpongeBob: Ok, girl, you're free to go. [takes Mystery outside and takes Mystery's leash off] I can't keep you anymore. [cries] I know it's hard for you to understand, but Mr. Krabs is right. You belong in the wild. [Mystery gallops away] Well, what are you waiting for? Can't you see I don't want you anymore? [Patrick walks up with the board on his head] Just get out of here, you stupid, dumb animal! [Patrick walks away as Mr. Krabs walks up to SpongeBob] Well, she's gone and I'll never see her again.
  • Mr. Krabs: It's ok, son. You did the proper thing. She's free now and we have no right to separate that wild animal from her natural habitat.
  • Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs, looks like old Mystery had an after-dinner salad! [vault of money opens to show dollar bills have been eaten and a bunch of money is missing]
  • Mr. Krabs: Get that horse!! [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob run after Mystery. Scene cuts to Patrick, still with the board on his head, trying to enter a hat shop, but the board keeps bumping into the sides of the entrance]

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