Narrator: Ah, springtime in Bikini Bottom. All sea creatures have an innate sense of the seasonal changes... [Patrick jumps out of his rock with a purple sweater on] ...like the starfish. A quick survey of his environment... [scratches his back] ...and he knows that.
Patrick: It's spring!
Narrator: The starfish then sheds his winter coat [takes his sweater off] and stores it away safe for winter. [buries the sweater in the sand]
SpongeBob:[walks outside and smells the air] I'd better call the doctor, 'cause I've got spring fever! Good morning, little flowers. [sniffs them into his nose] Hello Squidward, isn't it a lovely day?
SpongeBob: Have you said hello to the flowers yet?
Squidward:[sighs] Good morning, flowers. [flowers hiss at him like snakes. Squidward screams and runs inside]
SpongeBob: Gosh, I didn't know Squidward had hay fever. I'll do him the kindness and plant him some hypoallergenic flowers. [SpongeBob digs a hole and puts the flower in it] You're on your way. I bet you're thirsty. [turns around and grabs his container. When he turns back around, the flower is half eaten. He plants a new flower. When he turns around and grabs the container of water, he sees the flower is eaten again] Huh? [plants a new one] I'm not taking my eyes off you. [eyes stretch out staring at the flower]
Narrator: Three days later...
[SpongeBob is still staring, but his eyes have shriveled up. He uses the water to make his eyes normal]
Patrick:[running by] Hey, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob:[turns around] Hi Patrick! [when SpongeBob turns back around, the flower is eaten again] How does this keep happening? [notices a seahorse eating the flower next to him] Hi. [horse neighs then gallops onto a rock] She's beautiful! [SpongeBob imagines riding the seahorse with a head full of wavy hair] What a magnificent seahorse. I shall tame her. Who knows what we can accomplish? [scene cuts to seahorse eating some flowers and SpongeBob looking at her from a distance writing in a book] Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her Mystery. Hmmm, now that I think of it, she is very graceful and majestic. Perhaps I should name her Grace, or Majesty, or Debbie. [seahorse neighs] She must have spotted my floral bookmark! [using a flower bookmark in his book. Mystery gallops over slowly] She's coming this way. That's it girl. Don't be afraid. I'm just a talking sponge, is all. [Mystery sniffs the bookmark and then eats it. Scene cuts to SpongeBob riding with Mystery, blowing a bubble heart, posting for Mystery, making stamp books, and walking out of a store laughing with hats. Scene cuts to nighttime in SpongeBob's bed where SpongeBob is sleeping on the floor and Mystery is in SpongeBob's bed] Gosh, Mystery, that was the greatest day of my life. Do you think we'll be friends forever? [Mystery is asleep] I'll take that as a yes!
Squidward:[it's now morning as Squidward rides his bike. SpongeBob and Mystery gallop by him] What the...?
SpongeBob: Hey Squidward! Still riding a machine to work, I see!
Squidward: Don't say anything Squidward, remember your karma. [Squidward's bike trips on something and he falls off a cliff, then explodes. He groans. SpongeBob arrives at the Krusty Krab and ties Mystery to a bike rack]
SpongeBob: Whoa girl. Now you wait out here until I'm done with work. See you at the end of my shift. [walks in as Scooter and a friend walk by]
Scooter: Hey look, Mr. Krabs put in a kiddy ride!
Lloyd: Why don't you try it out? [Scooter gets out a quarter]
Scooter: I can't find the coin slot. Here it is! [Scooter finds the coin slot but Mystery kicks Scooter into the background and he explodes]
Lloyd:[runs off] (screams) Help! Kiddy ride on the loose!
Mr. Krabs:[walks out] What's with all the ruckus? [gasps] A monster scaring away me customers!
SpongeBob: That's not a monster Mr. Krabs, it's a horse. She's my friend. Her name is Mystery.
Mr. Krabs: You're a mystery, SpongeBob. [SpongeBob laughs] Get rid of it.
SpongeBob: Huh? Please, Mr. Krabs, let her stay! She won't hurt nobody nohow!
Mr. Krabs: It's either you or Mystery.
SpongeBob: I knew I should've named her Debbie. [scene cuts to SpongeBob, sad, grilling up some patties]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, thanks for finally getting rid of that horse!
SpongeBob:[in a sad voice] You're welcome, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Now, if we could only get rid of Squidward. [laughs then walks out]
SpongeBob: Good one, sir. [takes his pair of sad eye contacts off] Ha, it worked, girl! [opens the cabinet with Mystery inside it] We'll just keep you here until Patrick finishes that stable I asked him to build. [scene cuts to Patrick sitting down with a board on his forehead, doing absolutely nothing] Only eight more hours. [closes cupboards]
Narrator: Twelve seconds later... [Mystery peeks out of the cupboard]
SpongeBob: No, Mystery, you can't come out yet. If old man Krabs sees you, I'll lose my job. [SpongeBob gives her a tray with a patty on it] I bet you're hungry. How about some lunch? [Mystery eats the patty and neighs] Shhh! Girl, you got to be quiet or...
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! [SpongeBob closes the cabinet quickly as Mr. Krabs comes bursting in] What was that? Is that horse in here?
SpongeBob: No, Mr. Krabs. I was just practicing my imitation of Mystery. Weesnaw.
Mr. Krabs: Well, keep working on it! That was terrible! [walks out]
SpongeBob: That was close. [gets a tray with three patties] From now on, no more hijinks. Order up! [puts the tray on the window. Mystery eats it. Squidward walks up to the window]
Squidward: SpongeBob, where's my order?
SpongeBob: Did you look under the tray?
Squidward: No I didn't, sorry. [looks under the tray then sighs] SpongeBob, could you just get my order?
SpongeBob: They vanished. Squidward, do you think the Krusty Krab is haunted? What if they come for me next? I gotta get out of here! [runs to the door]
Squidward: SpongeBob, there's no ghosts!
Squidward: In case you've forgotten, here's how things work. I order the food, you cook the food, the customer gets the food. [SpongeBob's eyes move to the side of his face as he notices Mystery eating a customers food. Squidward is still talking] We do that for forty years and then we die. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?
SpongeBob: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you Squidward. I'll be right back. [grabs Mystery and shoves her under a cupboard]
Squidward: What's that?
SpongeBob: Don't tell Mr. Krabs! I got it all under control! [closes the cupboard] Now then, you were saying?
Squidward: Just get my order. [walks out]
SpongeBob: You got it, Squidward? [chuckles] Ghosts. [Mystery eats SpongeBob's hat] Mystery, you ate my hat! [Mystery burps out a spatula] Mystery, you ate my spatula! You ate all the Krabby Patties! You ate the stove! You ate Old Man Jenkins!
Old Man Jenkins:[from inside Mystery's belly] I don't want to be a burden.
Squidward:[customers yelling...] Folks, we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen.
Thaddeus: Where's our food?
Fred: I'm so hungry!
Tina: This is my only lunch hour!
Tom: Where's Old Man Jenkins?
Squidward: Take it easy, the food's no good here, anyway.
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what's going on in here?
Squidward: Why don't you ask CowBob RanchPants and his faithful companion Sir Eats-A-Lot?
Mr. Krabs:[runs into the kitchen] SpongeBob, what's the meaning of all these nicknames? Davey H. Jones! [SpongeBob is by Mystery's side, who has eaten too much]
SpongeBob: Mystery got a belly-ache from eating Krabby Patties, so I made her a bi-carbonated soda. [Mystery spits out Old Man Jenkins]
Old Man Jenkins: What did I miss? [Mr. Krabs takes out his eyes, blows on them, rubs them, and puts them back on]
Mr. Krabs: So, my eyes are correct! You still have that horse even when I ordered you to get rid of it! Well, now I'm going to get rid of it once and for all!
SpongeBob: No, Mr. Krabs! Don't make me give up Mystery! I know you think she's just a horse, but she's more than that, I tell you. She listens to me. She understands everything I say and I understand her! She's my best friend! [Mystery licks SpongeBob's cheek. Squidward cries because of a bowl of onions near him]
Squidward: Hey, who left this bowl of onions here?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, your story has touched me heart. Believe it or not, I know what it's like to give up a best friend.
SpongeBob: [sniffles] You do?
Mr. Krabs: I was five years old and me father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar. Loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together.
SpongeBob: What happened to the dollar, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: [sniffles] And one day at the beach, it was so hot and I was so thirsty! I spent it on a soda! [sobbing] My best friend (crying)! [Squidward cries because of the onions again]
Squidward: What? Would you get out of here?
Mr. Krabs: The point is, sometimes you have to set things free even though it's hard. [points to Mystery] Look at her. She misses the great outdoors, the wide-open spaces, the rolling green pastures. The kitchen is no place for a live horse. [two customers spit out their patties]
SpongeBob: Alright, Mr. Krabs, I understand.
Nat Peterson:[crying because of the bowl of onions Squidward is holding under his nose] Hey!
SpongeBob: Ok, girl, you're free to go. [takes Mystery outside and takes Mystery's leash off] I can't keep you anymore. [cries] I know it's hard for you to understand, but Mr. Krabs is right. You belong in the wild. [Mystery gallops away] Well, what are you waiting for? Can't you see I don't want you anymore? [Patrick walks up with the board on his head] Just get out of here, you stupid, dumb animal! [Patrick walks away as Mr. Krabs walks up to SpongeBob] Well, she's gone and I'll never see her again.
Mr. Krabs: It's okay, son. You did the proper thing. She's free now and we have no right to separate that wild animal from her natural habitat.
Squidward: Hey, Mr. Krabs, looks like old Mystery had an after-dinner salad! [vault of money opens to show dollar bills that have been eaten and a bunch of money is missing]
Mr. Krabs:Get that horse![He and SpongeBob run after Mystery.]
Mr. Krabs: Come back!
SpongeBob: Mystery! Weesnaw!
Both: Mystery, come back here!
[Scene cuts to Patrick, still with the board on his head, trying to enter a hat shop, but the board keeps bumping into the sides of the entrance repeatedly]