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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Move It or Lose It" from season 8, which aired on October 21, 2012.
- [The scene begins with a boat driving up to the intersection between the Chum Bucket and the Krusty Krab. A state officer steps out of the car and places a stake into the street. He then places two signs on both of the hangers.]
- Mr. Krabs: [inside the Krusty Krab] Hmm. What could be the doings of this stranger?
- Plankton: [inside the Chum Bucket] This looks suspicious.
- Mr. Krabs and Plankton: [both step out of their restaurants toward the male fish] What's the big idea?
- State officer: Mr. Eugene Krabs and Sheldon Plankton?
- Plankton and Mr. Krabs: Yes?
- State officer: These are for you. [walks away. They both look at the two signs]
- Plankton and Mr. Krabs: [reading the signs] "Updated city ordinance: Fast Food Restaurants cannot be within 100 feet of each other." Huh?
- State officer: The Krusty Krab and the Chum Bucket are located too close together. One of your restaurants is going to have to be bulldozed.
- Plankton and Mr. Krabs: [in shock] B - B - B - Bulldozed!? [measure the distance between the two restaurants with Tape Measures]
- Plankton: [in shock] 99 feet!
- Mr. Krabs: [sad] It's true!
- Plankton: [letting go of the tape measure] Ah! [crashes into a pole] Oof!
- Mr. Krabs: [suspicious] Which one of us is gonna get bulldozed?
- State officer: That's for you two to decide.
- Mr. Krabs: [angry] I'm not going anywhere! You're the one who is moving!
- Plankton: [angry] You are moving!
- Mr. Krabs: Ohoho! No, you are!
- Plankton: Oh, no I'm not!
- State officer: [interrupts them] Gentlemen, you have 24 hours to decide which of you moves. That's the law around here! [drives off]
- Mr. Krabs: [angry] Pack your bags pipsqueak!
- Plankton: [angry] You might as well close up shop right now, Krabs. Your customers won't miss a thing.
- Mr. Krabs: [laughs] At least I have customers.
- Plankton: [angry] Oh yeah!? Well I'm gonna put together a... uh... a petition of customer signatures.
- Mr. Krabs: Ha! Good luck with that ludicrous idea! [walks to the Krusty Krab]. [confused] Petition? [walks through the doors] Squidward! SpongeBob!
- [Squidward puts magazine down] [SpongeBob zooms to Mr. Krabs while Squidward walks]
- Mr. Krabs: [hands petitions to SpongeBob and Squidward] You two take these petitions to save the Krusty Krab and secure as many signatures as you can!
- SpongeBob: [saluting] Sir, yes, sir!
- Squidward: [sarcastic] Oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna do this.
- SpongeBob: [signing] And I'm gonna be the first signature. There and how about you Squidward? Could we count on your support? [in shock to see Squidward gone and the petition still there] Squidward?
- [Bubble transition to Mrs. Puffs Boating School]
- SpongeBob: Hello, Mrs. Puff!
- Mrs. Puff: [frightened] No! Stay away! I can't afford to go back in the slammer!
- SpongeBob: I'm just here if you would sign this petition. It'll save the Krusty Krab from getting bulldozed!
- Mrs. Puff: Why would I care about that?
- SpongeBob: [gasps] Mrs. Puff, don't you care what happens to Mr. Krabs? Squidward? Gary? Me?
- Mrs. Puff: Not particularly.
- Delivery Man: [walks in the classroom] Excuse me? I'm looking for a Mrs. Puff.
- Mrs. Puff: Yes, that's me.
- Delivery Man: Your new boat's here. Just sign here, please. [Mrs. Puff signs the paper]
- SpongeBob: Speaking of signatures, would you sign this petition to save the Krusty Krab? [hands out a piece of paper]
- Delivery Man: Why would I care about the Krusty Krab? [annoyed] I'll unload the boat. [SpongeBob and the delivery man both walk out of the classroom. SpongeBob notices something about the boat.] [closeup of the boat's lever]
- SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr. Delivery Man. I got this. [pushes down the boat's lever. It moves backwards, heading straight towards the school. Mrs. Puff notices this.]
- Mrs. Puff: Noooo! [closes the door, when the boat crashes into the school. Mrs. Puff puffs up.]
- [bubble transition to SpongeBob walking on the street]
- SpongeBob: [comes to a repair man close to a boat, who looks at a piece of paper] Excuse me, sir. Would you like to sign a petition to save the Krusty Krab?
- Repair Man: [confused] Why would I want to do that? The food there is dangerous. [closeup of the paper that says, "Krabby Patties are Dangerous" as SpongeBob reads it]
- SpongeBob: [worried] Sir, where did you get this?
- Repair Man: It was on my windshield. They're all over the place! [even more copies of the paper are attached to buildings]
- SpongeBob: This must be Plankton's dirty plan. [cut to SpongeBob running towards the Krusty Krab] Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! [As he enters, many people with papers all talking at once angrily to Mr. Krabs]
- Nat: Hey, Mr. Krabs! Why are your patties dangerous?
- Everyone: Yeah! [keep talking at once]
- Mr. Krabs: [worried] I...I...uh... My...my patties are dangerous because...because they're so...uh...uh...they're so-
- SpongeBob: [comes out of the kitchen with a plate of Krabby Patties] Delicious!
- Nat: [as everyone else stares] Kid's got a point. [Everyone talks at once happily. They start taking the patties.]
- Mr. Krabs: [leans closer to SpongeBob] Thanks for saving me shell, boy!
- SpongeBob: Don't thank me, Mr. Krabs. Thank the Krabby Patty.
- Plankton: [growls, then returns to the Chum Bucket teary-eyed] That does it!
- Karen: Throwing in the napkin, are we?
- Plankton: [sobs loudly onto a suitcase before speaking tearfully] My restaurant. My laboratory. My evil inventions. All about to be flattened! Just give me a moment to say my goodbyes. [walks sadly by his former things while dragging his suitcase] Farewell, stench-vision goggles. Farewell, Chum Bucket replicator. Farewell, hypnotizer helmet. We had some diabolical times together, didn't we? [walks to a cannon] So long, sonic cannon that destroys every known material in the universe. [weeps onto the cannon's button, accidentally activating it so it burns a hole through the Chum Bucket. SpongeBob sees this while humming on the street and hears Plankton crying, tears up himself, and finds him sobbing while laying down.]
- SpongeBob: [sadly] Plankton, I'm sorry. [sniffs] Sorry I made my Krabby Patty so delicious. [sobs]
- Plankton: [stops crying and gets up angrily] Hey, get lost! I'm the only one that weeps around here.
- SpongeBob: But I can't help it think that I somehow had a hand in your misery. Or at least a spatula. Nobody would sign a petition to bulldoze the Krusty Krab unless you pay them. And who would be low enough to do that?
- Plankton: [smiles, closes a door, then chuckles evilly] Karen, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Karen: Before you start buying up those petition signatures, you should know that our checking account balance is [shown on her screen] negative $375.
- Plankton: Not to worry, my lady. I have a plan.
- Mr. Krabs: [cut to him looking through a telescope] Hmm... Now there's something you don't see every day.
- SpongeBob: [serves Krabby Patties to a three-headed fish] Three-Headed Jake? He comes in every day.
- Mr. Krabs: Not him. I'm referring to the large crowd gathered at the Chum Bucket. It appears they are actually giving Plankton... money?! [A customer gives Plankton money while wearing the hypnotizer helmet from earlier.]
- Plankton: You just got a steal, sir. You'll get many villainous years out of that little number. [chuckles evilly, then jumps up to put the money in the cash register] I'll forget this restaurant nonsense, Karen. I should've opened a yard sale business years ago. [Fish look at stuff.] Step up, fishes. Every evil invention is price to move!
- Charlie: I'll take this riptide generator off your hands! [gives Plankton money]
- Nat: [wears the goggles from earlier.] I'll give you $1,000 for the stench-vision goggles. [puts the money on Plankton's antennas]
- Pilar: [points at Karen] Hey, how much for the computer?
- Plankton: How much you got?
- Karen: [angry] Plankton!
- Plankton: All right. My wife's not for sale. [to everyone] But everything else must go! [Everyone cheers and gives Plankton even more money, smiling. Plankton sticks his head out of the stack.] Well, wifey. Looks like it's time to proceed to the next phase. [As he pulls a rope, the sign changes from "Yard Sale" to "$ for your signature."] [through a megaphone, holding a dollar] Who wants free money? [Everyone notices.]
- Dennis: [turns his head] Free?!
- Debbie: [also turns her head] Money?! [Everyone happily runs to the stand.]
- Nat: Free money! [Angrily, he turns a boat to the other side then joins everyone else. The boat catches on fire and explodes.]
- Plankton: [Everyone crowds around him.] Okay, okay. One at a time, please. [holding a dollar] To receive your free money, [holding a piece of paper attached to a clipboard] just sign this petition to save the Chum Bucket.
- Pilar: Ooh, ooh. Me first. [As he signs the petition, Plankton gives him a dollar, then laughs evilly.] Yeah!
- Mr. Krabs: [walks in the Krusty Krab, angry.] This is outrageous! [to SpongeBob] You see what Plankton's doing, don't ya? He's undermining the democratic process by lab raging his temporarily financial windfall in order to buy every signature in Bikini Bottom. [counts his change] There's 20, 40, 50... We just bought mine 4 times! And me tasty food is one thing. [points out the window] But how can I compete with free money? [sad] I'm doomed! Well... clean 'er out, boy. Board 'er up. I'm afraid we're closing up for good. [sobs while biting his finger]
- SpongeBob: [sad] Mr. Krabs is hurt so much!
- Squidward: [laughs hysterically] Whoo... priceless.
- Plankton: [meanwhile, as everyone cheers...] [happily] Thank you, thank you! I've got what I need! [holding up the clipboard and paper] I got the signatures! [confused while looking at the paper] All but one. Guess I won't be hiring the yellow sponge anytime soon. [evilly happily] But none of that matters now! Cause the majority is on my side! Which in a democracy is all you need.
- [Meanwhile, cut to SpongeBob putting mayonnaise in a box, then taping it up, then cut to Mr. Krabs putting down a clock as a bulldozer arrives.]
- Mr. Krabs: [sad] It's time. [goes outside on the street and waits for the truck to stop in front of him.]
- State officer: [puts one of the bulldozer's windows down] So, who's getting bulldozed today?
- Plankton: [with the clipboard] Oh, not me, your bureaucraticness. I completed my petition. [Mr. Krabs is worried.]
- State officer: The people have spoken. Step aside, Mr. Krabs. [Part of the bulldozer smokes fire out.]
- Mr. Krabs: But... but... [As he backs up, the bulldozer follows him, towards the Krusty Krab.] [angry] No! I'm not going anywhere!
- State officer: Please comply, Mr. Krabs. It'll be quick and painless.
- Mr. Krabs: If you wanna bulldoze me restaurant, [locks himself up] it's gonna be long and painful!
- SpongeBob: [is seen at the top of the restaurant, also locked up] [angry] Stand your ground, Mr. Krabs! We are right behind you, right, Squidward? [The lock is empty.] Squidward?
- Squidward: [He is outside his home, with an umbrella on top of him, sitting on a chair, and drinking a cup of tea, happily.]
- State officer: [moves his bulldozer closer to the restaurant.] Okay, now this is really your last chance.
- Mr. Krabs: [still angry] I'm never leaving the Krusty Krab!
- State officer: Fine. Have it your way. [pushes a lever.]
- Plankton: [chuckles evilly, while setting up himself a movie theater seat, then sits on it.] Bring it on! Bring the destruction! [munches on popcorn]
- Mr. Krabs: [Part of the bulldozer smokes more fire out, and the bulldozer starts to move even closer to the restaurant.] [sad] Goodbye, Krusty Krab! [As he closes his eyes, the bulldozer begins to move the restaurant, but only moves 1 foot.] [confused] Eh?
- State officer: Thank you for your cooperation.
- Plankton: [spits the popcorn out, angry] What?! Excuse me, sir, but, uh... [stands on the seat] you forgot to level the place!
- Mr. Krabs: [confused] Uhh... yeah.
- State officer: Demolition is outside of my purview. I simply ensure that restaurants comply with the 100 foot ordinance. [measures the distance with a tape measure and says the 1 foot on it.] That's 1 more foot. Perfect! [walks away from the restaurant.]
- Plankton: [jumping on the seat, still angry] But that's not fair! [He slips inside and the seat closes on him.]
- SpongeBob: So you're not gonna destroy the Krusty Krab?
- State officer: No...
- SpongeBob: [jumps inside the bulldozer, hugging the state officer.] Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! [As the state officer accidentally pulls the lever, the truck goes backwards. He and SpongeBob look out the window.] Oh, dear. [The bulldozer crashes through the Chum Bucket, destroying it.]
- Plankton: [Meanwhile, he's free from the seat after struggling to.] [still angry] Come on! Let's do this! I wanna see some destruction! [As he gasps, he finally sees the destroyed Chum Bucket.] I think I've seen enough. [goes back inside the seat]