"Spon... Spo... Spo...!"
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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Model Sponge" from season 7, which aired on November 27, 2009.
- [SpongeBob is looking at a filthy mirror]
- SpongeBob: Ah, you're nothing. Is all that grime meant to scare me? I've seen sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place. [squirts soap on his head and scrubs the mirror clean] You look clean! Sorry about those harsh words. [gets mop and bucket] Now time to attack these floors!
- Mr. Krabs: [on the phone] Are you kidding? He's a fortune to have around the workplace...
- SpongeBob: It sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again. [chuckles as he turns to reveal an ear]
- Mr. Krabs: ...I mean he's been here for such a long time now...
- SpongeBob: Yep. [laughs]
- Mr. Krabs: ...but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go now.
- SpongeBob: Yes, he's gonna have to let the little guy go... [shocked] THE LITTLE GUY?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It's either me, or it's... [gasps] Squidward! [SpongeBob stands behind Squidward who is sitting down] Well, it looks like you're the little guy, Squinty!
- Squidward: No, and I want you to stop calling me Squiddy. [walks away]
- SpongeBob: Squidward looked a bit talller there for a second. [SpongeBob next to Squidward]
- Squidward: What do you think you're doing?
- SpongeBob: Just seeing which on of us is the little guy... [makes himself taller] ...and it looks like it IS you!
- Squidward: Not, i'm not. [walks away]
- SpongeBob: Squidward! [becomes short again] Squidward, wait! We haven't tired it with my legs extended! [extends legs]
- Squidward: I don't care! Now get back in the kitchen!
- SpongeBob: You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. WHOA! [walks off balance and falls and breaks a table] Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts. Face the facts that I'm the little guy! And that Mr. Krabs is letting me go today.
- Squidward: [smiles] Krabs is letting you go today? [laughs] As if I won't have to keep working with you ever again. [laughs]
- SpongeBob: [walks through the doors and becomes flattened] Good bye, Krusty Krab. Good bye, life as I know it. [the wind blows SpongeBob away]
- Mr. Krabs: Yeah, as much as I hate doing it, I have to let him go. [a little scallop in a cage is shown] He's gotten too big for his cage. [releases the scallop] Go on, fly away, you'll be missed
- [SpongeBob floats into his house]
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- [SpongeBob arrives from the door happily]
- SpongeBob: I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Director.
- Director: Very well. [grabs a megaphone] LOSE THE PANTS!
- [a hook grabs onto SpongeBob's pants and takes them away, leaving him naked]
- Director: Hans, do you have my star?!
- [a door opens and Hans comes out and grabs SpongeBob]
- SpongeBob: What's happening? [lights turn on] W-what's happening?
- Director: In this scene, you'll be cleaning bathroom sudjects.
- SpongeBob: Okay, so where's my cleaning utencil?
- Director: Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utencil. [cameraman turns on camera] Roll speed!
- [Clapperman comes by]
- Clapperman: New Sponge commercial, take 1. [runs off]
- Director: ACTION!!!
- Announcer: [who sounds like Dr. Gill Gilliam] Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster! Get it cleaned up fast with The New Sponge. [SpongeBob stammers] Household chores a smash with New Sponge. [Hans squeezes him] It cleans sinks. [Hans cleans the sink, and the faucet] Just look at that shot! New Sponge cuts through even the toppest crime entrent! New Sponge also cleans showers. [Hans cleans the walls] Ha ha! That tile looks as good as new! But best of all, New Sponge can make any toilet sparkle! [SpongeBob gets suprised and looks at the toilet seat!]
- SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I can't do this!
- Director: CUT!!!!