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[SpongeBob is in the bathroom, looking at a filthy sink mirror]
SpongeBob: You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me? I've seen sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place. [squirts soap on his head and scrubs the mirror clean] You look clean! Sorry about those harsh words. [gets mop and bucket] Now time to attack these floors!
Mr. Krabs:[in his office, on the phone] Are you kidding? He's a fortune to have around the workplace...
SpongeBob: It sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again. [chuckles as he turns to reveal an ear]
Mr. Krabs: ...I mean he's been here for such a long time now...
SpongeBob: Yep. [laughs]
Mr. Krabs: ...but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go now.
SpongeBob: Yes, he's gonna have to-- [shocked] WHAT? LET THE LITTLE GUY GO?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It must be either me, or [gasps] Squidward! [SpongeBob stands behind Squidward who is sitting down] Well, it looks like you're the little guy, Squiddy!
Squidward: No, and I want you to stop calling me Squiddy. [walks away]
SpongeBob: Squidward looked a bit talller there for a second. [SpongeBob next to Squidward]
Squidward: What do you think you're doing?
SpongeBob: Just seeing which on of us is the little guy... [makes himself taller] ...and it looks like it IS you!
Squidward: No, I'm not. [walks away]
SpongeBob: Squidward! [becomes short again] Squidward, wait! We haven't tried it with my legs at full extension yet! [extends legs]
Squidward: I don't care! Now get back in the kitchen!
SpongeBob: You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. WHOA! [walks off balance and falls and breaks a table] Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts. [makes a strange face] Face the facts that I THA LIDDLE GUY! [tears up, making another face] And dat Mr. Krabs is lething me go tohay.
Squidward:[smiles] Krabs is letting you go today? [laughs] As if I won't have to keep working with you ever again. [laughs]
SpongeBob:[walks through the doors and becomes flattened] Goodbye, Krusty Krab. Goodbye, life as I know it. [the wind blows SpongeBob away]
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, as much as I hate doing it, I have to let him go. [a little scallop in a cage is shown] He's gotten too big for his cage. [releases the scallop] Go on, fly away, you'll be missed
[SpongeBob floats into his house, landing in a chair]
SpongeBob: Oh, what's the use, Gary? [buries his face in the seat of the chair] I've lost the will to go on! [bursts into tears]
[SpongeBob arrives from the door happily]
SpongeBob: I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Director.
Director: Very well. [grabs a megaphone] LOSE THE PANTS!
[a hook grabs onto SpongeBob's pants and takes them away, leaving him naked]
Director: Hans, do you have my star?!
[a door opens and Hans comes out and grabs SpongeBob]
Director: In this scene, you'll be cleaning bathroom sudjects.
SpongeBob: Okay, so where's my cleaning utensil?
Director: Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utensil. [cameraman turns on camera] Roll speed!
[Clapperman comes by]
Clapperman: New Sponge commercial, take 1. [runs off]
Announcer:[who sounds like Dr. Gill Gilliam] Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster! Get it cleaned up fast with The New Sponge. [SpongeBob stammers] Household chores a smash with New Sponge. [Hans squeezes him] It cleans sinks. [Hans cleans the sink, and the faucet] Just look at that shot! New Sponge cuts through even the toughest grime and filth! New Sponge also cleans showers. [Hans cleans the walls] Ha ha! That tile looks as good as new! But best of all, New Sponge can make any toilet sparkle! [SpongeBob gets suprised and looks at the toilet seat!]
SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I can't do this!