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Model Sponge (transcript)

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Transcript Information
Model Sponge
General
Season №: 7
Episode №: 130b
Airdate: November 27, 2009
Chronology
Previous: "Greasy Buffoons"
Next: "Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Model Sponge" from season seven, which aired on November 27, 2009.

  • [SpongeBob is in the bathroom, looking at a filthy sink mirror]
  • SpongeBob: You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me? I've seen sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place. [squirts soap on his head and scrubs the mirror clean] You look clean! Sorry about those harsh words. [gets mop and bucket] Now time to attack these floors!
  • Mr. Krabs: [in his office, on the phone] Are you kidding? He's a fortune to have around the workplace...
  • SpongeBob: It sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again. [chuckles as he turns to reveal an ear]
  • Mr. Krabs: ...I mean he's been here for such a long time now...
  • SpongeBob: Yep. [laughs]
  • Mr. Krabs: ...but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go now.
  • SpongeBob: Yes, he's gonna have to-- [shocked] WHAT? LET THE LITTLE GUY GO?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It must be either me, or [gasps] Squidward! [SpongeBob stands behind Squidward who is sitting down] Well, it looks like you're the little guy, Squiddy!
  • Squidward: No, and I want you to stop calling me Squiddy. [walks away]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward looked a bit talller there for a second. [SpongeBob next to Squidward]
  • Squidward: What do you think you're doing?
  • SpongeBob: Just seeing which on of us is the little guy... [makes himself taller] ...and it looks like it IS you!
  • Squidward: No, I'm not. [walks away]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward! [becomes short again] Squidward, wait! We haven't tried it with my legs at full extension yet! [extends legs]
  • Squidward: I don't care! Now get back in the kitchen!
  • SpongeBob: You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. WHOA! [walks off balance and falls and breaks a table] Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts. [makes a strange face] Face the facts that I THA LIDDLE GUY! [tears up, making another face] And dat Mr. Krabs is lething me go tohay.
  • Squidward: [smiles] Krabs is letting you go today? [laughs] As if I won't have to keep working with you ever again. [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: [walks through the doors and becomes flattened] Goodbye, Krusty Krab. Goodbye, life as I know it. [the wind blows SpongeBob away]
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, as much as I hate doing it, I have to let him go. [a little scallop in a cage is shown] He's gotten too big for his cage. [releases the scallop] Go on, fly away, you'll be missed
  • [SpongeBob floats into his house, landing in a chair]
  • Gary: Meeeooow.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, what's the use, Gary? [buries his face in the seat of the chair] I've lost the will to go on! [bursts into tears]
  • [SpongeBob arrives from the door happily]
  • SpongeBob: I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Director.
  • Director: Very well. [grabs a megaphone] LOSE THE PANTS!
  • [a hook grabs onto SpongeBob's pants and takes them away, leaving him naked]
  • Director: Hans, do you have my star?!
  • [a door opens and Hans comes out and grabs SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: What's happening? [lights turn on] W-what's happening?
  • Director: In this scene, you'll be cleaning bathroom sudjects.
  • SpongeBob: Okay, so where's my cleaning utensil?
  • Director: Don't you get it? You are the cleaning utensil. [cameraman turns on camera] Roll speed!
  • [Clapperman comes by]
  • Clapperman: New Sponge commercial, take 1. [runs off]
  • Director: ACTION!!!
  • Announcer: [who sounds like Dr. Gill Gilliam] Oh, no! Your bathroom is a disaster! Get it cleaned up fast with The New Sponge. [SpongeBob stammers] Household chores a smash with New Sponge. [Hans squeezes him] It cleans sinks. [Hans cleans the sink, and the faucet] Just look at that shot! New Sponge cuts through even the toughest grime and filth! New Sponge also cleans showers. [Hans cleans the walls] Ha ha! That tile looks as good as new! But best of all, New Sponge can make any toilet sparkle! [SpongeBob gets suprised and looks at the toilet seat!]
  • SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I can't do this!
  • Director: CUT!!!!

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