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Model Sponge (transcript)

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Transcript Information
Model Sponge
General
Season №: 7
Episode №: 130b
Airdate: November 27, 2009
Chronology
Previous: "Greasy Buffoons"
Next: "Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Model Sponge" from season seven, which aired on November 27, 2009.

  • [SpongeBob is in the bathroom, looking at a filthy sink mirror]
  • SpongeBob: You're nothing! Is all that grime meant to scare me, Mr. Mirror? I've met sardines tougher than you are. Time to put you in your place. [squirts soap on his head and scrubs the mirror clean, then puts work hat on his head from his nose ] Looking good, mirror! Sorry about the harsh words. [gets mop and bucket] Now to attack these floors!
  • Mr. Krabs: [in his office, on the phone, chuckling] Are you kidding? He's an absolute treasure to have around the restaurant!
  • SpongeBob: It sounds like Mr. Krabs is bragging about me again to his associates. [turns to reveal an ear on his back]
  • Mr. Krabs: And he's been with me for such a long time now.
  • SpongeBob: [chuckles] I am.
  • Mr. Krabs: But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to let the little guy go today.
  • SpongeBob: Yep, he's gonna have to-- [notices, shocked] WHAT? LET THE LITTLE GUY GO?! Little guy? Who's the little guy? It must be either me, or [gasps] Squidward! [SpongeBob stands behind Squidward who is sitting down] Phew! I am taller. You're the little guy, Squidsy!
  • Squidward: [stands up] No, and I want you to stop calling me Squidsy. [walks away]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward looked taller there for a second. Better get a more accurate measurement. [SpongeBob stands right next to Squidward in the boat]
  • Squidward: What do you think you're doing?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, just seeing which one of us is the little guy... [makes himself taller, like a skyscraper] ...and it looks like it IS you!
  • Squidward: No, I'm not! [walks away]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, wait! [becomes short again] We haven't measured with my legs at full extension yet! [extends legs]
  • Squidward: [off-screen] I don't care! Now get back in the kitchen!
  • SpongeBob: You'll care when you find out what's gonna happen to the little guy. WHOA! [walks off balance, then falls and breaks a table] Oh, who am I kidding? I need to face the facts. [makes a strange face] Face the facts that I'M the little guy! [tears up, making another face] And that Mr. Krabs is letting me go today.
  • Squidward: [smiles] Krabs is letting you go today? [laughs] As in I won't have to work with you ever again. [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: [walks through the doors and becomes flattened, sad] Goodbye, Krusty Krab. Goodbye, life as I know it. [the wind blows SpongeBob away]
  • Mr. Krabs: [still on the phone] Yeah, as much as I don't like doing it, I have to let him go. [a little scallop in a cage is shown] Gotten too big for his cage. [releases the scallop] Go on, little guy. Fly away. You'll be missed.
  • [as scallop flies away, SpongeBob floats into his house, landing in a chair]
  • Gary: [meows questionly]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, what's the use, Gary? [body pops up to his normal self] I've lost the will to go on! [bursts into tears on the couch, then stops, noticing a rumble from a refrigerator Patrick is pulling with a rope] [sniffs sadly] Hi, Patrick.
  • Patrick: Oh, sorry to interrupt your fit of self-loathing, SpongeBob. [happily] I'm just borrowing your refrigerator again.
  • SpongeBob: [confused] What happened to yours?
  • Patrick: Nothing, it's just empty.
  • SpongeBob: [sad] Oh, get it out of my sight! Now that I have no means of purchasing food for myself, I do not need a refrigerator.
  • Patrick: Oh, don't get down on yourself, buddy. You can still purchase food for me.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, no I can't, Patrick. I lost my job today. I won't be able to buy food for you,[sniffs] or Gary,[sniffs again] or for anybody!
  • Patrick: [shocked] Oh, no! What are you gonna do?!
  • SpongeBob: [sad] I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! I've been a fry cook for so long I... I don't think I can do anything else.
  • Patrick: [gets an idea, happily] I know, SpongeBob! Just do what I do when I'm looking for a job. [runs to couch, then sits on it] Kick back, watch some T.V., [turns T.V on with remote, then holds a carton of "Drinkable Sausage" with a close-up shot of it] and chug down a carton on Drinkable Sausage! [drinks from the carton]
  • Gary: [meows while sitting on some newspaper]
  • SpongeBob: [happily] Good, Gary! There had to be some job openings in the classifieds. [picks up one newspaper while noticing it's dirty smell] Whoa! Although, these ads smell a little out of date. I better get some fresh ones. [bubble transition to SpongeBob reading a clean newspaper] Lawyer, no. Too much arguing. Stunt driver, don't have a boating license. Astronaut, don't like food in a bag. Oh, this one sounds interesting. Bank Teller Needed. That shouldn't be too much of a stretch from fry cooking. [bubble transition to SpongeBob counting money at a bank while having his nametag on] 20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97. [flips money up with spatula, then chops it all up, some flying onto Fred's head, forming the money into a Krabby Patty, as seen in a close-up shot of it] Order up! [rings bell once, then employee takes SpongeBob's nametag off, causing SpongeBob to lose air inside of him] [bubble transition to SpongeBob hammering a nail while building a house] What do you think, boss?
  • Carpenter: [looks at house, shocked] Clam shells! What have you done, boy? [looks at a piece of paper showing what the real house looks like, while then looking at a house built by SpongeBob shaped into a Krabby Patty] I told you to build me a house, not a sandwich! [kicks SpongeBob and Patrick out of the construction site]
  • SpongeBob: I guess I'm not a carpenter, Patrick. [walks in front of a billboard showing a live sponge] I need to start fresh. [some words on billboard sparkle as SpongeBob talks] With a job that feels...natural. Something that says, "This is a job for a sponge." Any idea where I can find a job like that, Patrick?
  • Patrick: No. Oh, but, yes! It's so obvious! You should work at the Krusty Krab. They need a fry cook!
  • SpongeBob: I can't, Patrick. That's the job I got fired from, remember?
  • Patrick: Ohhh. Mayhaps you should talk to the sponge behind you. He looks happy.
  • SpongeBob: That's just a billboard, Patrick.
  • Patrick: Why don't you get a job as a billboard?
  • SpongeBob: I...don't think that's physically possible, [happily] BUT I could audition to be a sponge model.
  • Patrick: Fine, have it your way.
  • [bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick walking into the Bikini Bottom Television (BBTV) building]
  • SpongeBob: Wow! What a setup! Oh, I don't know, Patrick. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I don't have the talent.
  • Patrick: Oh, you have the talent. But do you have the natural ability?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, but...wait, isn't that the same thing?
  • Patrick: Why don't you find out?

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