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Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV (transcript)

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Transcript Information
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV
General
Season №: 3
Episode №: 45a
Airdate: January 21, 2002
Chronology
Previous: "Idiot Box"
Next: "Doing Time"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV" from season three, which aired on January 21, 2002.

  • Narrator: Ahh, the Krusty Krab. Through these doors pass all the many kinds of undersea life.
  • Mermaid Man: Through the double doors! Away!
  • Narrator: And also these guys.
  • Barnacle Boy: I told you I'm not hungry, Mermaid Man!
  • Mermaid Man: N-nonsense, Barnacle Boy, we've got to keep up our strength for the fight against evil!
  • Barnacle Boy: What a dive.
  • Mermaid Man: To the register! Away!
  • Squidward: Can I help you?
  • Mermaid Man: A double Krabby Patty and Coral Bits for me, and a silly meal for the lad.
  • Barnacle Boy: It's not for the toy, I just...I've gotta fit in the tights, y'know?
  • Squidward: Whatever. Five dollars, please.
  • Mermaid Man: You got it, bucky. [removes his left seashell cup, opens the shell up like a clutch purse and pulls out a metal nut] Will this cover it?
  • Squidward: No.
  • Barnacle Boy: Listen big nose, this guy has been saving your butt since before you were born. Don't you got a living legend discount or something?
  • Squidward: This is a restaurant, not a lending library. And who are you calling big nose, big nose? [both press noses against each other. Barnacle Boy gets out a $5 bill and gives it to Squidward]
  • Barnacle Boy: Well next time danger threatens, don't expect any help from us!
  • Squidward: I'm shakin'. Heh. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.
  • SpongeBob: [breaks through wall] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? Must...have... autograph! [stretches arms to gets a piece of paper and a pen]
  • Mermaid Man: If you wanna grow up strong like me...you gotta leave room for seconds. Here comes our waiter!
  • SpongeBob: Autograph!!!!
  • Barnacle Boy: Holy sea cow, it's that Sponge-kid!
  • Mermaid Man: Quick lad, [pants falls down] to the invisible boat mobile! Away!
  • Barnacle Boy: Where'd we park?
  • Mermaid Man: Uhh...
  • SpongeBob: Can I have your autograph can I have your autograph can I.. they're gone! [gasps] Mermaid Man's belt!
  • Mermaid Man: Wait! We'll find it with the invisible boat alarm! [he pulls it out, and makes as to press a button. A car flickers in and out of visibility thrice, making beeps as well] There she is! [they run over and jump in the car. Barnacleboy hits the seat divider]
  • Barnacle Boy: Ow! I told you we shoulda' got the automatic!
  • SpongeBob: Hey guys! Wait up! I've got something for you...
  • Barnacle Boy: Floor it! [both speed off in the boat]
  • SpongeBob: You forgot your belt! You forgot-- Mermaid Man's secret utility belt! The emblem of submersible justice! For 65 years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of nations...and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding it in my hands! Well, I guess I should return it. [Heads into the kitchen] Or not! I could just hang onto it till after work...all alone with Mermaid Man's belt. I wonder what this button does! Whoa! The small ray! Hmm...
  • Squidward: Here's your shake, sir. [he starts to hand him the shake, but he is startled by a loud noise from the kitchen and SpongeBob's giggle. The shake lands on the guy's head, the guy punches him and leaves. There are more flashes, noises, and giggles from the kitchen] Grr.
  • SpongeBob: [Hands a tiny krabby patty to a cockroach] There you go.
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, what's going on in here? Huh? [SpongeBob wears a tiny hat and holds a tiny spatula] Why's everything all tiny?
  • SpongeBob: I don't know.
  • Squidward: What do you got there?
  • SpongeBob: Nothing.
  • Squidward: No, really?
  • SpongeBob: Nothing.
  • Squidward: You've got something alright, let's see it!
  • SpongeBob: No, No!
  • Squidward: Is that Mermaid Man's belt?
  • SpongeBob: Yes.
  • Squidward: Wow! I can't believe he'd lend it to you!
  • SpongeBob: Me, uh, either.
  • Squidward: He didn't lend it to you, did he?
  • SpongeBob: Please don't tell!
  • Squidward: You stole it?
  • SpongeBob: Please don't tell!
  • Squidward: Oh. I'm telling.
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, if Mermaid Man finds out, he'll kick me out of his fan club for sure! Please don't tell!
  • Squidward: Uh Oh! There's the phone
  • SpongeBob: Don't!
  • Squidward: I'm walking towards the phone! [walks towards phone]
  • SpongeBob: No!
  • Squidward: I'm getting closer to the phone!
  • SpongeBob: Don't!
  • Squidward: And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for.
  • SpongeBob: I'm begging you.
  • Squidward: [picks up the phone] Hello. I'd like to speak to Mermaid... [SpongeBob shrinks Squidward] What the? What?[phones hits Squidward] Ow!
  • Mermaid Man: Hello? Hello?
  • Squidward: What did you do to me?
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry Squidward, but you made me do it!
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, if you don't return me to normal size right now, you are gonna be in really big trouble!
  • SpongeBob: Uhh ok uhh.
  • Squidward: I said now!
  • SpongeBob: Uhh uhh. [belt is shown with many buttons to it]
  • Squidward: Do you hear me? [SpongeBob changes Squidward into a multi-eyed Squidward] Holy fish paste! Get it off me! Get it off me! [takes eyes off him] Don't you know how to work that thing?
  • SpongeBob: Uhh, I can do it! [SpongeBob changes Squidward into a burning mess, then changes him to have a large nose, then to have no skin, then cut in half, then changed into more things off screen while SpongeBob looks in fright.
  • Squidward: Stop! I've got an idea. Let's call Mermaid Man and.
  • SpongeBob: No! I can't let you do that! But there must be someone else who can help! Someone smart and wise, with years of life experience. Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!
  • Patrick: Ehh? Huh? Oh. Hi SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I was at work and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy came, and I got this belt, and look
  • Patrick: A Squidward action figure! Let me play with it!
  • SpongeBob: No, Patrick!
  • Patrick: Fighter pilot! Dive bomb!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick!
  • Patrick: And here comes a giant fist!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, no! That's not an action figure! That's the real Squidward! I shrunk him by accident.
  • Patrick: Oh...and here comes a giant fist!
  • SpongeBob: Pat, you don't understand! This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink him! He could be stuck like this for the rest of his life.
  • Patrick: Oh, don't worry about it. He'll find love one day.
  • SpongeBob: You think so?
  • Patrick: Well, sure. But it'll be with someone his own size. Like this pickle! See? They like each other!
  • Squidward: N-n-n-n-no. [Patrick bangs them together as if to kiss]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, if only I knew how to work this thing!
  • Patrick: Let me take a look at it. Hmmm. You know what the problem is?
  • SpongeBob: What?
  • Patrick: You got it set to 'M' for Mini when it should be set to 'W' for Wumbo. br>
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't think Wumbo is a real word.
  • Patrick: Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, You wumbo, He she me wumbo, wumbo, Wumboing, We'll have thee wumbo, Wumborama, Wumbology, The study of wumbo? It's first grade SpongeBob!
  • Squidward: [while Patrick is saying "fair thee wumbo"] I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.
  • Patrick: Well alright then. Let 'er rip! It worked!
  • SpongeBob: Oh no!
  • Patrick: Look, SpongeBob's giant! Can I be giant next?
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!
  • Patrick: You're kidding! Good thing I still got this pickle! [kisses the pickle. Pan over to Squidward]
  • Squidward: Hey! Now will you take us to Mermaid Man!
  • SpongeBob: No! He can never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise. Until then, you'll be safe in this jar.
  • Patrick: You know what's funny? My pickle started out in a jar, and now it's in one again! Heh. It's like a pun or something. Heheh.
  • SpongeBob: It's only two people no big deal, nobody else saw it.
  • Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: [screams] Sandy! [shrinks Sandy]
  • Sandy: What did you? For cryin' out. What did y'all do to me?
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry Sandy! Mermaid Man came in and..
  • Larry: Hey SpongeBob! [shrinks Larry]
  • Nat: Hey, SpongeBob, I. [shrinks Nat]
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: Hi, SpongeBob. [shrinks Nancy]
  • Mrs. Puff: Hello, SpongeBob. [shrinks Mrs. Puff]
  • Scooter: Sponge-dude! [shrinks Scooter, Sandals, and Dennis]
  • Fish #1: Hey SpongeBob! [shrinks fish]
  • Fish #2: SpongeBob, hi! [shrinks fish]
  • Fish #3: Hey SpongeBob! [shrinks fish]
  • Fish #4: What's up, Sponge? [shrinks fish]
  • SpongeBob: Whoo! I'm gonna have to get a bigger jar.
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, will you just face facts? You've shrunken everybody in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaid Man!
  • SpongeBob: Oh Squidward, he'll be so disappointed.
  • Sandy: Well, you can't leave us small forever!
  • SpongeBob: You don't understand! [SpongeBob's parents are seen in jar]
  • Mrs. SquarePants: SpongeBob, you need to admit your mistakes!
  • SpongeBob: Mom?!
  • Mermaid Man: Your mother's right, son. Mermaid Man will understand.
  • Barnacle Boy: You're Mermaid Man, you old coot!
  • Mermaid Man: Oh yeah.
  • SpongeBob: Mermaid Man? I'm so sorry, it's just that I'm such a big fan, and your belt, and.
  • Mermaid Man: Oh, don't worry son. I understand. Why, I remember back when I first used the belt, the year was nineteen of eleventeen twelve, why I believe the president.
  • All: Just tell him how to unshrink us!!!!!
  • Mermaid Man: Oh, yes. The unshrink ray. Let's see, uh uh did you set it to Wumbo?
  • All: What? [spells out and form Get SpongeBob!] Get SpongeBob!!
  • Squidward: Now I have to drive five miles to go to the bathroom in my own home! [kicks SpongeBob's stomach]
  • Sandy: And now I need an elevator to climb one stair! HI-YA! [punches his brain]
  • Mermaid Man: We've been shrinking for years!
  • Barnacle Boy: But this is ridiculous! [both kick his eyeballs. Dale kicks his pelvis, Nancy chops off one of his lungs while hanging on to his spine, Larry kicks his knee]
  • All: Everything's too big!!!
  • SpongeBob: I've got it! [Shrinks town as Squidward saws a blood vein and Frank lifts a bone] Ta-da! Since I couldn't make you big, I made the city small! And now, only one more thing to shrink. Cheese! [turns shrink ray towards him like a camera and shrinks himself]
  • Squidward: Well, I guess this is okay.
  • Larry: Yeah, what's the difference?
  • Nancy: Good idea, SpongeBob. [everyone cheers as a bus comes back and Plankton gets off of it]
  • Plankton: Well, it's great to be back! [notices small Bikini Bottom] Huh?

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