TV Announcer: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! We join Bikini Bottom's noblest, boldest, oldest superheroes as they bravely prepare for vacation. [both pack their clothes into their bags while FOLD and PACK words come up as they put them in] But wait! While our heroes relax at leisure village, who will watch the Mermalair? [Barnacle Boy opens the doors and SpongeBob and Patrick jump in]
Patrick: ...and BoyPatrick
SpongeBob and Patrick: Reporting for duty.
Barnacle Boy: Yeah, yeah, follow me.
SpongeBob and Patrick: Up, up, and away!
Mermaid Man: Evil!
Barnacle Boy: Now, we want you boys to keep an eye on the place. Water the plants, and make sure that...
SpongeBob: Oh my gosh, Patrick. This is the greatest wall of superhero super gadgetry ever! I'm going to play with the Cosmic-Ray!
Patrick: I'll get the Aqua-Glove.
Mermaid Man: Hold on there, boys! You cannot play with this stuff.
SpongeBob: What about the Orb of Confusion? [turns the orb on and makes confusion faces]
Mermaid Man:[turns it off] No, no! Prolonged exposure from the Orb of Confusion will give you... uh... confusion!
Patrick:[opens then closes the boat's door] What about the invisible boat mobile?
Barnacle Boy: Especially not the invisible boat mobile. When we say don't touch anything, we mean don't touch anything. Do you understand?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Loud and clear trusted boy companion!
Barnacle Boy: Well, great. Here are the keys. [SpongeBob takes the key from his hand] We'll see you in a week.
Mermaid Man:[both run out the door] Up, up, and away.
SpongeBob: Come boy Patrick. While our heroes are away, we will keep evil at bay. [both flip into the other room while yelling karate sounds]
SpongeBob: It appears to be some sort of prison chamber... [licks the chamber] ...made out of frozen tarter sauce. This is incredible. Next to the Dirty Bubble, the evil ManRay is the all-time greatest arch nemesis of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. I have so many questions to ask him. [Patrick pulls the lever down to UNFREEZE] Pat, what are you doing? We're not supposed to touch anything!
Patrick: But you said you had a question.
SpongeBob: We could get in trouble.
Patrick: Well, that's not a question. [they both argue when ManRay's eyes start to light up]
SpongeBob: He said not to touch anything and that includes unfreezing a super-villain! [pulls level up back to FREEZE]
Man Ray: I'm free! Hahaha!
SpongeBob: Uh, actually, Mr Man Ray, sir, only your head is free.
Man Ray: By the supreme authority of wickedness, I, the evil Man Ray, command you to release me from this frozen prison at once.
SpongeBob: Well, uhh, Mr. evil ManRay sir, we can't do that.
Man Ray: Why.. Not?!
SpongeBob: Because you're evil!
Man Ray: You mean, if I was good then you'd let me go?
SpongeBob: Yeah, sure, why not?
Man Ray: Then, uh, in that case... I am good.
Man Ray: Yes, really.
SpongeBob: Really, really?
Man Ray: Yes, yes, really, really.
SpongeBob: Really, really, really?
Man Ray: Yes, yes, already! I'm good! I'm good! Now let me out of here or you'll suffer dire consequences.
SpongeBob: Well, that's good enough for me. [SpongeBob pulls the lever back to "UNFREEZE" Man Ray is unfrozen and falls to the ground]
Man Ray: You fools, prepare to be eradicated. [tries to jump at SpongeBob and Patrick but stops in mid-air and falls to the ground then laughs] What's wrong with me? Hahaha. What is this... Hahaha. infernal contraption?!
SpongeBob: Don't play dumb, Man Ray! You know that's the tickle belt Mermaid Man used on you in episode #17.
Narrator:[showing a picture of the belt] As seen in episode 17!
Patrick: Oh, I love that episode.
SpongeBob: Oh, me too, me too.
Man Ray: I'll never get out of here wearing this belt. [chuckles] I... I need an evil plan that will trick them to take it off me. [chuckles again] Time for those acting lessons to pay off.
SpongeBob: Remember that part Mermaid Man and Barnacle...
Man Ray: Oh, sob! Oh, cry. [opens and closes his eyes] Oh, woe is me. You don't know what it's like being evil for so long. Oh, how I wish to be... good. If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency. [SpongeBob and Patrick gasp]
SpongeBob: We could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go.
Man Ray:[turns around] Ahh, that would be fantastic! [chuckles] I'll fake my way through this just like I did in high school.
SpongeBob: Okay, Man Ray. Are you ready first day at goodness school? [Man Ray puts an apple on his desk] Pat, get your wallet out. [Patrick gets his wallet out his pocket] Okay, goodness lesson number one. You see someone drop their wallet. Patrick, drop the wallet. [Patrick tosses it on the ground] Now, what do you do?
Man Ray: Excuse me, sir, but I do believe you've dropped your wallet.
Patrick: Doesn't look familiar to me.
Man Ray: What? I just saw you drop it. Here.
Patrick: Nope, it's not mine.
Man Ray: It is yours. I am trying to be a good person and return it to you.
Patrick: Return what to who?
Man Ray:[facepalms, then shows Patrick his ID] Aren't you Patrick Star?
Man Ray: And this is your ID.
Man Ray: I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet.
Patrick: That makes sense to me.
Man Ray: Then take it.
Patrick: It's not my wallet.
Man Ray:[in anger and frustration]You dim-bulb! Take back your wallet or I'll rip your arms off![SpongeBob pushes tickle button and Man Ray laughs]
SpongeBob: Nuh. Wrong. [SpongeBob pushes button] Good people don't rip each others arms off! [Man Ray chuckles] Okay, goodness lesson number two. You see someone struggle with a heavy package. What do you do?
Man Ray: Hello, friend. I noticed you were struggling with that package. Would you like some help? [Patrick drops package on Man Ray's foot] Ow!
Patrick: Oops, sorry. Can I start over?
Man Ray: I noticed that... [Patrick drops package again] Ow!
Man Ray: You butter-fingered pink thing! What's in that box anyhow?
Patrick: My wallets.
Man Ray:[in rage] Arghh! [Man Ray grabs Patrick head and slams him into the ground a lot]
Patrick: No! SpongeBob, tickle him! [SpongeBob pushes the tickle button but ManRay keeps slamming Patrick into the ground]
Man Ray: It tickles but it's worth it.
SpongeBob: Alright, goodness lesson number three. [Patrick is shown being severely damaged] Uhh, let's see. [Patrick grabs the remote]
Patrick: I've got one. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it?
Man Ray: Umm... 62?
Patrick: Wrong! [pushes button]
Man Ray: Haha. Stop.
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, that's got nothing to do with being good.
Patrick: Let go of it, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Pat, we've got to use it only when he's bad.
Patrick: Let go!
SpongeBob: No, you let go!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Let go! [remote breaks and the belt goes hay-wire]
Man Ray: Frequency rising. Bel- Belt out of control. Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Belt on too hard. [he continues to laugh] It's tickling my DNA. Make it stop! [tears come out as he laughs] Haha. Please!
SpongeBob: Did you hear that, Patrick? He said the P word.
SpongeBob: No. Please.
Patrick: Well, that's good enough for me. I guess he's reconstituted.
SpongeBob: It's graduation day, Man Ray. This is the key to your future. [unlocks the belt, then the tickling stops] Just look at him, Patrick. The picture of goodness. [Man Ray takes the Aqua-Glove off the wall of weapons] Umm, we're not supposed to touch that stuff. [Man Ray put the glove on his hand and activates it] We're not supposed to touch it that way, either. [Man Ray grabs the Cosmic-Ray and attaches it on the Aqua-Glove] We are really not suppose to touch those, sir. [He aims the weapon at SpongeBob and Patrick] good people have no use for weapons such as... [Man Ray zaps them into dust] Thoooose!
Man Ray:[laughs] The only thing I'm good at is being evil. [door opens and Man Ray runs] So long, suckers.
Patrick: What's that smell, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat.
Patrick: Good, I thought it was my skin.
SpongeBob: Forget about your skin, Patrick. Man Ray is still bad and someone has to stop him. This is a job for Mermaid Man...
Patrick: ...and Barnacle Boy! [both slide down pole and get their costumes on]
SpongeBob: To the Invisible Boat Mobile. [both stop in the invisible boat]
Patrick: Ignition, on!
SpongeBob: Wait! I don't have a license.
Patrick: Well, this is an invisible boat, right? So, you need an invisible license. [shapes hand into a rectangle]
SpongeBob: You're the best sidekick ever, Barnacle boy. [boats drives through the wall and into a street light]
Patrick: Thank goodness for invisible seat belts.
Man Ray: Out of my way, fools. You no longer have control of me. And now this town belongs to, ManRay!
SpongeBob: Not so fast, arch-villain. We still have the orb of confusion. [Patrick takes out the Orb of Confusion] Take this! [turns it on and gets all confused] Doy. Duh.
Man Ray: Well, that was easy. [heads to the bank where he kicks in the door] Hahaha. All right, people! Everybody stand right where you are.
Man Ray: I want you to, uh... [Man Ray chuckles, so everyone else chuckles, too] No! No! Stop giggling or I'll have to... [chuckles again, so everyone else is still chuckling] Stop laughing, you fools.
Bank Lady: What can I do for you, sir?
Man Ray: Well, I'll tell you what you can do. [points glove at the lady] Gimme all of your... [Man Ray chuckles again] G-gimme, gimme all of your... [Man Ray is still chuckling] Give me... [he chuckles so much he realizes what's going on] Ahh! The belt is gone but I still feel it's tickle. The urge to do bad is gone. [groans] I guess I'll just open a checking account. [Man Ray returns to Sponge Bob and Patrick and turns the orb of confusion off]
SpongeBob: Doy. [gasps] Man-Ray!
Man Ray: No need to be alarmed, SpongeBob. You're teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks... with little poodles on them! [Man Ray takes his head off and gives it to SpongeBob] I won't be needing this anymore. Farewell, fellow do-gooder. [walks off]
SpongeBob: Bye, Man Ray! Wow. We did it! Just like the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. We saved the day. Isn't it incredible, Patrick! Patrick?
Patrick: Uhh... [still has a confused look on his face]
SpongeBob: Patrick, you know that thing's turned off, right? Patrick? Yoo-hoo? Patrick?!