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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants Best Day Ever short "Me Money," which aired on November 2, 2006.

  • Mr. Krabs: Time to count me money. [Sees that safe is empty.] My money! Squidward!
  • Squidward: [Mr. Krabs finds Squidward and turns him upside down and then starts shaking him revealing a pin, a silver coin, and a domino; Squidward screams] I don't have your money!
  • SpongeBob: I know who took your money.
  • Mr. Krabs: Tell me and I'll let you watch as I tear him into a thousand little pieces, mesh 'em back together, and tear him into a thousand little pieces all over again! [as Mr. Krabs starts saying that he'll tear them into pieces, SpongeBob starts to get worried]
  • SpongeBob: [crying] It was me, Mr. Krabs! Please don't tear me into a thousand little pieces and mesh me back together and tear me to pieces again!
  • Mr. Krabs: Why, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: To clean and polish it.
  • Mr. Krabs: [Sees that his money is all over the kitchen.] Well, I'll be a sea monkey’s uncle.
  • [Cuts to Mr. Krabs who opens the safe and then it cuts to the inside of it where SpongeBob is cleaning Mr. Krabs' money.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Here's another batch, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: I'm on it, Mr. K.
  • Mr. Krabs: Me money never looked better. Thanks, SpongeBob.