"Spon... Spo... Spo...!"
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Frankie Billy: Excuse me, One patty for the lady please.
Squidward: Try reading the sign, Cantsacova.
(Frankie tries to read the sign, but he can't)
Evelyn: You never learned to read, have you?
Frankie Billy: (sulks) No.
Evelyn: Neither did I!
Frankie Billy: We were meant for each other! (they walk away happily)
Squidward: (sighs) Even the alliterate of finding love. (takes out a book) Oh, Squidward, why are you torturing yourself with tales of romance? (tosses the book away and it lands in SpongeBob's eye)
SpongeBob: (takes the book out of his eye) Hey, Squidward! (puts the book on his tongue) You've dropped your book!
Squidward: That's no "book". That's just a poor reminder that I'm single, and will likely be that way for the rest of my life.
SpongeBob: C'mon, Squidward. Turn that frown upside down! (flips Squidward's head)
Squidward: I like my frowns in their regular orintation. (flips his head back to normal)
SpongeBob: (jumps in front of Squidward) Just remember, Squidward. You've never experienced true love. BUT, that doesn't mean you never will! You know the saying: "There's a squid for every pot"!
Squidward: Great, let the tired cleshay cascade foward. (sarcastically) That'll make me feel better.
(Squilvia walks inside and Squidward gasps)
Squidward: (bashes into SpongeBob and picks him up as he looks at her) She's got da-da-da-da-da... (melts) She's, wow!
Squilvia: I absolutely adore the decor! Exquisitely minimalist!
Squidward: (gasps) She speaks art jargon!
Squilvia: What captive wonders does this menu hold?
Squidward: SpongeBob, she's got it all! Style, art, and looks like yours truely!
SpongeBob: Then why don't you ask her out on one of those dates you keep talking about?
Squidward: My next move exactly! Observe the old tentacles and all of its glory! (tries to speak to her, but becomes nervous)
Squilvia: Is that salmonese?
SpongeBob: Boy, you were floundering up there, buddy!
Squidward: SpongeBob, I don't know what I'm doing! I've never felt like this before.
SpongeBob: Squidward, you've been bitten by the love bug!
Squilvia: Hello? I'd like to place an order.
Squidward: She's talking to me. What do I do?
Squilvia: Well, if nobody's going to take my order, I'll just have to go eat elsewhere. (begins to leave)
Squidward: (gasps) She's leaving!
SpongeBob: Not for long! Hang on buddy! (cranks up the boat and it moves in front of Squilvia)
Squilvia: Finally, some service around here.
???
Squilvia: See you at 8:00, Squidward. (walks away)
(Squidward floats away and SpongeBob grabs him)
SpongeBob: You okay, buddy. You froze up there.
Squidward: (in a block of ice, which breaks) What do you mean?
SpongeBob: I mean, when was the last time you went out on a date?
Squidward: (remembers his last date) SpongeBob, you've gotta help me! It's been so long! What do I do?
SpongeBob: Now calm down, Squidward. You're going to need to go on a practice date before going on the real thing.
Squidward: That's it! I'll go on... (voice quiets down) a practice date?
SpongeBob: Just meet me at my house at 5:00, Squidward.
(Bubble transition to SpongeBob's house)
(Squidward rings the doorbell)
SpongeBob: (female voice) Just one minute, Squidward!
Squidward: (sulks a little a look at his watch) Sometime today would be nice.
SpongeBob: (dressed as Squilvia) (female voice) I'm ready!
Squidward: (screams) Dear, Neptune!
SpongeBob: Oh! (smacks his nose, making it bigger, and tilts it down) Missed a spot! (regular voice) Aren't you going to compliment my outfit?
Squidward: Um...You look...stunning?
SpongeBob: (female voice) Oh, you're so sweet! Where my flowers?
Squidward: Oh! Um. You've dropped you're lip lining!
SpongeBob: (looks down as Squidward buys some flowers) I don't think I've dropped anything... Ooh! You shouldn't have.
Squidward. Oh, but I wanted to!
SpongeBob: No, you really shouldn't have. It's just that I'm very... I'm very aller... ACHOOO! (sneezes on Squidward) ...very allergic to tulips. So, are you ready to go?
Squidward: Go where?
SpongeBob: To dinner, silly.
Squidward: Oh, right! I'll go get my car. (arrives with his boat) Hop in! (SpongeBob clears his throat) What?
SpongeBob: (regular voice) A gentlemen always opens a door for a lady.
Squidward: (opens the door) Oh, where are my manners!? (SpongeBob gets in, and Squidward buckles his seatbelt) Alrightie. (SpongeBob is struggling with his seatbelt) Can I help you with that?
SpongeBob: No, no, I've got it!
Squidward: (takes the seatbelt and buckles it) There!
SpongeBob: Ah, snug.
Squidward: Are you ready to go?
SpongeBob: Yes.
Squidward: Good.
SpongeBob: Right after I tinkle. (unbuckles seatbelt, walks inside, and rings a bell before returning to the car)
Squidward: Can we go now?
SpongeBob: Oh, I know a fabulous place! Just head this way.
Squidward: Okay.
SpongeBob: At the stop sign make a right.
Squidward: Alright.
SpongeBob: At the stoplight make a right.
Squidward: Gotchya.
SpongeBob: At this street here make a right. At this intersection make a right, and park at the orange building up ahead. Ooh! We're here!
Squidward: You're a real piece of art, you know that?
SpongeBob: Why thank you, Mr. Squidward! (regular voice) Way to compliment on the date, Squidward.
--To be Continued--