At the Krusty Krab, Frankie is ordering food for Evelyn. He does not realize that Squidward was on his break and cannot read his sign. Evelyn sees that he cannot read and reveals that she can't read either, so they comment that they were meant for each other. Learning that his books about love are only "torturing" him, the depressed Squidward throws away his book and impacted on evil widsom SpongeBob. When SpongeBob tries returning the book, Squidward claims the book is "just a cruel reminder that I'm single, and likely to remain that way." SpongeBob tries cheering Squidward up by pointing out that while he's currently never found true love, that doesn't automatically mean he won't ever find it, and says, "There's a squid for every pot!," but Squidward complains that's a very clichéd saying.
Just then, a female customer walks by and Squidward becomes instantly smitten with her. The woman admires the "decor" and Squidward believes that she was perfect since they have the same hobbies and things to like. She approaches the register and a nervous Squidward was unable to ask her out on a date alone. She leaves, thinking there is no service. Just before she could leave the building, the boat containing the employees and register had a motor which SpongeBob used to catch her. SpongeBob introduces Squidward to the female, who is revealed to be named
"Squilvia." SpongeBob tells Squilvia about Squidward and she agrees to go on a date with him later that night.
Squidward gets nervous about his date with Squilvia when he realizes that it's been a while since the last time he was on a date, (Showing a flashback of him dancing with a lady in an old effect) and asks SpongeBob for help and replies by using a practice date for starting. As practice for the real date, he was tested at SpongeBob's House on complimenting about his date, giving flowers, driving to dinner, and having dinner which all annoy him. He was driving in a circle from and to SpongeBob's house (which would be where the restaurant is). At the "restaurant" (SpongeBob's roof), Patrick is serving plastic dinner which he literally took a bite on. When Squidward had enough, he left and shouted angrily over how it was pointless. He went down the stairs, and SpongeBob convinced Squidward to come back, but his shoe gets caught, causing him to fall down the stairs, revealing his true identity.
Squilvia showed up and reveals that Squidward's true personality was better than what she expected. SpongeBob comments that his work was done, only to find Patrick in drag, demanding a movie and plastic popcorn.