- Squidward Tentacles
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Eugene H. Krabs
- Patrick Star
- Gary the Snail (cameo)
- Mrs. Tentacles (cameo in picture)
- Bikini Bottomites
- Old Man Jenkins
- Frank (red shirt)
- Frank (spatula)
- Tina Fran
- Harold (red fish)
- Martha Smith
- Nat Peterson
- Big Dude
- Jimmy Gus
- Frankie Billy
- Debbie Rechid
- Abigail Marge
- Nancy Suzy Fish
- Harold "Bill" Reginald
- Officer John Slugfish
The episode starts off at the Krusty Krab, where the business is slow. As a result, Squidward decides to rest. Before he even gets a chance to start relaxing, a lot of fish come. Squidward freaks out when he realizes SpongeBob isn't making Krabby Patties. Squidward then finds SpongeBob in a barrel. He screams at him, resulting in SpongeBob melting out of the barrel. SpongeBob makes the food and serves everybody while Squidward finds a book in the barrel. Then, SpongeBob grabs it and puts it in between the two frying baskets.
Whenever Squidward tries to see the book, SpongeBob snatches the book from him, which happens twice. A few minutes later, SpongeBob takes a break and Squidward finds the book in the barrel again. Now that he finds out the book was a diary, Squidward reads SpongeBob's diary to everyone at the Krusty Krab. The first secret he reads is that SpongeBob clucks like a chicken whenever he sees plaid. Squidward sees Mr. Krabs wearing plaid, so he calls SpongeBob back. SpongeBob sees Mr. Krabs plaid so he clucks like a chicken, making Squidward and a fish laugh.
The second secret is that SpongeBob named his spatula "Fifi." This amuses everyone and when SpongeBob comes back asking what's going on, Patrick teases him about him naming his spatula Fifi. Embarrassed, SpongeBob nervously excuses himself to the kitchen. The last secret is that whenever he hears the Bikini Bottom Municipal Anthem, he dances around in his underwear.
Later, SpongeBob finds out Squidward has been reading his diary and gets embarrassed about Squidward reading his diary, crying while saying "Squidward, how could you?" Then, he runs away from the Krusty Krab, and bumps into Mr. Krabs. Since Mr. Krabs is still wearing plaid, the second SpongeBob sees him, he acts like a chicken. Then he continues crying and runs into town.
Mr. Krabs scolds at Squidward for reading SpongeBob's diary and demands that he apologizes for what he did, but Squidward just scoffs at this saying that SpongeBob will get over it. Later at the town Squidward then finds a newspaper that talks about "Jerk reads diary! Local fry cook devastated!" Squidward just laughs at the paper. Then he goes in a taxi but the taxi driver just drives away because Squidward is the jerk. Later on, he goes to his house, only to find out that his loan was taken away.
Now, when Squidward sleeps on a bench, a couple of police recognize him and lock him in the stocks. Then, Patrick throws tomatoes at him. Squidward then apologizes to SpongeBob and he learns that he only read SpongeBob's work diary, which got published. SpongeBob also tells him he never read his secret personal diary, which would be really embarrassing.
A crowd comes to throw tomatoes at Squidward when SpongeBob tells them he forgave Squidward. Nat tells SpongeBob that Squidward is reading the secret personal diary. SpongeBob gets upset again and runs away. The episode ends with tomatoes being thrown at Squidward by the disgusted crowd, laughing as he reads SpongeBob's diary, saying, "I don't care! This is so worth it!"
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Coconut Cream Pie - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Title card.]
‣ Aloha Oe - Hans Haider, Queen Lili'uokalani [Squidward relaxing.]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr [Long line of customers.]
‣ Sailor's Sting 4 - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr [Squidward looking for SpongeBob.]
‣ Sailor's Sting 10 - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr [Squidward sees SpongeBob writing in his diary.]
‣ The Achterhoek Dances - Jan Rap [SpongeBob cooking patties.]
‣ Dramatic Impact 2 - Ivor Slaney [Squidward finds SpongeBob's diary.]
‣ The Achterhoek Dances - Jan Rap [SpongeBob serving patties.]
‣ Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Hmm..."]
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks (a) - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob takes back his diary.]
‣ ? [Squidward laughs.]
‣ Cartoon Sting 2 - Squidward unlocks SpongeBob's diary.
‣ Unknown Track 45 - Nicolas Carr [Squidward opens SpongeBob's diary.]
‣ Untitled Tune - Jack Shaindlin [flashback to that morning.]
‣ The Fruitcake Vendor - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob at the dumpster.]
‣ Shock (f) - Dave Hewson ["Puh-puh-puh... plaid?!"]
‣ Unknown Track 61 - SpongeBob clucks like a chicken.
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks (u) - Jeremy Wakefield ["I have to take my break."]
‣ A Fishy Conversation - Barry Anthony [Squidward still reading SpongeBob's diary.]
‣ Sailor's Sting 15 - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr ["Sure thing."]
‣ Proud to be a Fish - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob takes off his clothes.]
‣ Dramatic Impact 6 - Ivor Slaney [SpongeBob sees his diary in Squidward's hand.]
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks (j) - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob cries.]
‣ Saltwater Works - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward leaves work.]
‣ Bikini Bottom Police - Nicolas Carr [Cops.]
‣ Cartoon Sting 4 - Squidward in stocks.
‣ Slide Whistle Song - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Ending.]
- This episode was released on iTunes on March 2, 2013.
- This episode is also available on the Bikini Bottom's Most Wanted and The Complete Ninth Season DVDs.
- As of September 26, 2017, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 5.8/10 based on 140 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a rating of 4.6/10 based on 22 votes.
- Despite everyone at the Krusty Krab reading the diary, Squidward is the only one who was blamed. However, reading the diary was his idea.
- There's a light blue glow around the title card.
- All of the customers seem to enjoy reading the diary until SpongeBob starts to cry, which shows that they are very hypocritical, while blatantly pretending they didn't know it is SpongeBob's diary.
- This is the third appearance of SpongeBob's diary. The first is "Boating School" and the second is "Gone."
- The tomatoes thrown at Squidward are identical to the ones in "Krabby Land."
- This is the third episode where SpongeBob is humiliated by Squidward and the Krusty Krab customers. The first is "Fools in April" and the second is "Grandma's Kisses."
- He is also embarrassed with Patrick at the Krusty Krab by Mr. Krabs when he is one of the Bikini Bottom ghosts in "Pranks a Lot."
- This episode was part of the SpongeBob's Secrets Revealed marathon, which featured episodes such as "Grandma's Kisses," "My Pretty Seahorse," and "Nasty Patty."
- This episode aired on 3/2/13, but on the Nickelodeon TV schedule, it says 11/25/12. 11/25/12 is when it was originally supposed to air.
- This episode was supposed to air along with "Bumper to Bumper," but when that episode was bumped back to November 17, 2012, this episode was delayed to air in March 2013 instead.
- This episode aired on Laraine Newman's 61st Birthday.
- This is the seventh episode where Squidward's house is removed. The first is "Bubblestand," the second is "Good Neighbors," the third is "Rule of Dumb," the fourth is "The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom," the fifth is "Big Sister Sam," and the sixth is "Mermaid Man Begins."
- This is the second episode where Gary bites Squidward. The first is "Once Bitten."
- In "Fools in April," Squidward feels guilty for making SpongeBob cry and tries to apologize. However, in this episode, Squidward laughs when SpongeBob cries and shows no remorse.
- However, except for that part at the end, the episode repeats many events from that episode.
- Actually the earlier part of the episode (before SpongeBob runs and cries) is also similar to "Grandma's Kisses."
- However, except for that part at the end, the episode repeats many events from that episode.
- This episode reveals that SpongeBob has two diaries, both of which have been read by Squidward.
- As of this episode, SpongeBob is now a critically acclaimed author.
- This episode once again reveals SpongeBob's spatula having the ability to make multiple copies of its head.
- This is the third episode where the customers become ravenous and physical in the dining area due to an extended wait for the Krabby Patties. The first is "Truth or Square" and the second is "Oral Report." Another, more technical, instance of this is in "Help Wanted," yet the anchovies do not have an extended wait in a sense.
- Running gag: Squidward reading SpongeBob's diaries.
- Kelpy G's manager appears as a taxi driver.
- This is the second episode to feature a book that SpongeBob has written. The first is "Good Ol' Whatshisname" with the book The Customers of the Krusty Krab and Why I Love Them.
- This episode marks the fourth appearance of Mrs. Tentacles. Her previous appearances were in "Fools in April," Ghost Host," and "Krusty Towers."
- In this episode, it is revealed that Mr. Krabs has gray hair that is similar to his grandma's hair.
- When SpongeBob goes out to the back of the Krusty Krab to blow bubbles, it is akin to a smoke break.
- This episode premiered on Laraine Newman's 61st birthday and three years after SpongeBob's Boating Bash was released.
- This episode premiered in Canada four years after "Pet or Pests" premiered.
- The scene where SpongeBob clucks like a chicken has became a popular meme (mostly among Twitter) called "Mocking SpongeBob."
- This episode's title is a reference to Quotations from Chairman Mao Zedong, better known in the Western Hemisphere as the "Little Red Book."
- It could also be a parody of the children's book company Little Golden Book.
- Promotions referred to this episode as Diary of a Yellow Sponge, which is a parody of the best-selling children's book series Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
- "I can't help but take off all my clothes and dance around in my underwear!" These words almost sound identical to a verse from the Ricky Martin hit "Livin' la Vida Loca:" "She make you take your clothes off and go dancin' in the rain."
- When SpongeBob takes off his pants, his shape looks like the pants and don't show his feet.
- In one scene, Squidward places the stereo on the order station. In the next scene, it is seen on top of the grill.
- SpongeBob is shown leaving the Krusty Krab in his underwear, but when the scene cuts to Squidward leaving the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is wearing his clothes again.
- He may have put them back on.
- When SpongeBob gives the people the Krabby Patties, they have lettuce, but SpongeBob never put lettuce in him when he made the patties along with pickles.
- When Mr. Krabs put SpongeBob in the exhaust vent, the vent is in the wrong spot. It is at the back of the kitchen, not near the front, where the grill is.
- SpongeBob makes Krabby Patties in his head without lettuce or pickles. When he delivered the Krabby Patties, lettuce and pickles suddenly come out of his head.
- It would be practically impossible for a newspaper containing an article about Squidward reading SpongeBob's diary to be written, printed, copied, and distributed just minutes after the event happened.
- When SpongeBob dances naked, the kitchen window is empty. However, in the next scene, Squidward and the other customers laugh at SpongeBob through the kitchen window.