- Squidward Tentacles
- SpongeBob SquarePants
- Eugene H. Krabs
- Patrick Star
- Gary the Snail (cameo)
- Mrs. Tentacles (cameo in picture)
- Newspaper Boy
- Bikini Bottomites
The episode starts off at the Krusty Krab, where the business is slow. As a result, Squidward decides to rest. Before he even gets a chance to start relaxing, a whole bunch of fish come. Squidward freaks out when he realizes SpongeBob isn't making Krabby Patties. Squidward then finds SpongeBob in a barrel. He screams at him, resulting in SpongeBob melting out of the barrel. SpongeBob makes the food and serves everybody while Squidward finds a book in the barrel. Then, SpongeBob grabs it and puts it in between the two frying baskets.
Whenever Squidward tries to see the book, SpongeBob snatches the book from him, which happens twice. A few minutes later, SpongeBob takes a break and Squidward finds the book in the barrel again. Now that he finds out the book was a diary, Squidward reads SpongeBob's diary to everyone at the Krusty Krab. The first secret he reads is that SpongeBob clucks like a chicken whenever he sees plaid. Squidward sees Mr. Krabs wearing plaid, so he calls SpongeBob back. SpongeBob sees Mr. Krabs plaid so he clucks like a chicken, making Squidward and a fish laugh.
The second secret is that SpongeBob named his spatula "Fifi." This amuses everyone and when SpongeBob comes back asking what's going on, Patrick teases him about him naming his spatula Fifi. Embarrassed, SpongeBob nervously excuses himself to the kitchen. The last secret is that whenever he hears the Bikini Bottom Municipal Anthem, he dances around in his underwear.
Later, SpongeBob finds out Squidward has been reading his diary and gets embarrassed about Squidward reading his diary, crying while saying "Squidward, how could you?" Then, he runs away from the Krusty Krab, and bumps into Mr. Krabs. Since Mr. Krabs is still wearing plaid, the second SpongeBob sees him, he acts like a chicken. Then he continues crying and runs into town.
Mr. Krabs scolds at Squidward for reading SpongeBob's diary and demands that he apologizes for what he did, but Squidward just scoffs at this saying that SpongeBob will get over it. Squidward then finds a newspaper that talks about "JERK READS DIARY! LOCAL FRY COOK DEVASTATED!" Squidward just laughs at the paper. Then he goes in a taxi but the taxi driver just drives away because Squidward is the jerk. Later on, he goes to his house, only to find out that his loan was taken away.
Now, when Squidward sleeps on a bench, a couple of police recognize him and lock him in the stocks. Then, Patrick throws tomatoes at him. Squidward then apologizes to SpongeBob and he learns that he only read SpongeBob's work diary, which got published. SpongeBob also tells him he never read his secret personal diary, which would be really embarrassing.
A crowd comes to throw tomatoes at Squidward when SpongeBob tells them he forgave Squidward. Nat tells SpongeBob that Squidward is reading the secret personal diary. SpongeBob gets upset again and runs away. The episode ends with tomatoes being thrown at Squidward by the disgusted crowd, laughing as he reads SpongeBob's diary, saying, "I don't care! This is so worth it!"
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Coconut Cream Pie - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Title card.]
‣ Aloha Oe - Hans Haider, Queen Lili'uokalani [Squidward relaxing.]
‣ Nude Sting - Nicolas Carr [Long line of customers.]
‣ Sailor's Sting 4 - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr [Squidward looking for SpongeBob.]
‣ Sailor's Sting 10 - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr [Squidward sees SpongeBob writing in his diary.]
‣ The Achterhoek Dances - Jan Rap [SpongeBob cooking patties.]
‣ Dramatic Impact 2 - Ivor Slaney [Squidward finds SpongeBob's diary.]
‣ The Achterhoek Dances - Jan Rap [SpongeBob serving patties.]
‣ Vibe Q Sting - Nicolas Carr ["Hmm..."]
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks (a) - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob takes back his diary.]
‣ ? [Squidward laughs.]
‣ Cartoon Sting 2 - Squidward unlocks SpongeBob's diary.
‣ Unknown Track 45 - Nicolas Carr [Squidward opens SpongeBob's diary.]
‣ Untitled Tune - Jack Shaindlin [flashback to that morning.]
‣ The Fruitcake Vendor - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob at the dumpster.]
‣ Shock (f) - Dave Hewson ["Puh-puh-puh... plaid?!"]
‣ Unknown Track 61 - SpongeBob clucks like a chicken.
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks (u) - Jeremy Wakefield ["I have to take my break."]
‣ A Fishy Conversation - Barry Anthony [Squidward still reading SpongeBob's diary.]
‣ Sailor's Sting 15 - Michael Bolger, Nicolas Carr ["Sure thing."]
‣ Proud to be a Fish - Nicolas Carr, Barry Anthony [SpongeBob takes off his clothes.]
‣ Dramatic Impact 6 - Ivor Slaney [SpongeBob sees his diary in Squidward's hand.]
‣ Hot Steel and Slide Licks (j) - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob cries.]
‣ Saltwater Works - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Squidward leaves work.]
‣ Bikini Bottom Police - Nicolas Carr [Cops.]
‣ Cartoon Sting 4 - Squidward in stocks.
‣ Slide Whistle Song - Nicolas Carr, Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield [Ending.]
- This episode was released on iTunes March 2, 2013.
- This episode is also available on the Bikini Bottom's Most Wanted and The Complete Ninth Season DVDs.
- As of September 26, 2017, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 5.8/10 based on 140 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a 4.6/10 based on 22 votes.
- Despite everyone at the Krusty Krab reading the diary, Squidward was the only one that was blamed. However, reading the diary was his idea.
- There's a light blue glow around the title card.
- All of the customers seemed to enjoy reading the diary until SpongeBob started to cry, which shows that they are very hypocritical, while blatantly pretending they didn't know it was SpongeBob's diary. However, they possibly believed that it was Squidward's diary (as the diary literally said, "MY DIARY" on it), and that SpongeBob told Squidward his (SpongeBob's) secrets and then Squidward wrote them in his own diary.
- This is the third appearance of SpongeBob's diary. The first was in "Boating School" and the second was in "Gone."
- The tomatoes being thrown at Squidward are identical to the ones in "Krabby Land."
- This is the third time SpongeBob has been humiliated by Squidward and the Krusty Krab customers. The first was in "Fools in April" and the second was in "Grandma's Kisses." He was also embarrassed at the Krusty Krab by Mr. Krabs when he was one of the Bikini Bottom ghosts in "Pranks a Lot."
- This episode was part of the "SpongeBob's Secrets Revealed" marathon which featured episodes such as "Grandma's Kisses," "My Pretty Seahorse," and "Nasty Patty."
- This episode aired on 3/2/13, but on the Nickelodeon TV schedule, it says 11/25/12. 11/25/12 is when it was originally supposed to air.
- This episode was supposed to air along with "Bumper to Bumper," but when that episode was bumped back to November 17, 2012, this episode was delayed to air in March 2013 instead.
- This episode aired on Laraine Newman's 61st Birthday.
- This is the seventh time Squidward's house has been removed. The first was in "Bubblestand," the second was in "Good Neighbors," the third was in "Rule of Dumb," the fourth was in "The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom," the fifth was in "Big Sister Sam," and the sixth was in "Mermaid Man Begins."
- The "horrible words that should never be used around strangers" SpongeBob said Squidward used could have been curse words from "Sailor Mouth."
- This is the second time Gary bites Squidward. The first was in "Once Bitten."
- In "Fools in April," Squidward feels guilty for making SpongeBob cry and tries to apologize. However, in this episode, Squidward laughs when SpongeBob cries and shows no remorse.
- However, except for that part at the end, the episode pretty repeated many events from that episode.
- Actually the earlier part of the episode (before SpongeBob runs and cries) is also similar to "Grandma's Kisses."
- However, except for that part at the end, the episode pretty repeated many events from that episode.
- This episode reveals that SpongeBob has two diaries, both which have been read by Squidward.
- As of this episode, SpongeBob is now a critically-acclaimed author.
- This episode once again reveals SpongeBob's spatula having the ability to make multiple copies of its head. This will not be shown again until the episode "Evil Spatula."
- This is the third time the customers become ravenous and physical in the dining area due to an extended wait for the patties. The first time was "Truth or Square" and the second time being "Oral Report." Another, more technical, time was "Help Wanted," yet the anchovies did not have an extended wait in a sense.
- Running Gag: Squidward reading SpongeBob's diaries.
- Kelpy G's manager appears as a taxi driver.
- This is the second episode to feature a book that SpongeBob has written. The first was the episode "Good Ol' Whatshisname" with the book The Customers of the Krusty Krab and Why I Love Them.
- This is the fourth episode in which Mrs. Tentacles appears. Her previous appearances were in "Fools in April," Ghost Host," and "Krusty Towers."
- Promotions referred to this episode as Diary of a Yellow Sponge, which is a parody of the best selling children's book series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
- In this episode, it is revealed that Mr. Krabs has gray hair.
- When SpongeBob goes out to the back of the Krusty Krab to blow bubbles it is akin to a smoke break.
- This episode premiered on Laraine Newman's 61st birthday and three years after SpongeBob's Boating Bash was released.
- This episode premiered in Canada four years after "Pet or Pests" premiered.
- This is the second time SpongeBob was crying and Squidward was happy in the end of the episode. The first was in "InSPONGEiac."
- The scene where SpongeBob clucks like a chicken has became a popular meme (mostly among Twitter) called "Mocking SpongeBob."
- This episode's title is a reference to Quotations from Chairman Mao Zedong, better known in the Western Hemisphere as the "Little Red Book."
- It could also be a parody of the children's book company Little Golden Book.
- "I can't help but take off all my clothes and dance around in my underwear!" These words almost sound identical to a verse from the Ricky Martin hit "Livin' la Vida Loca:" "She make you take your clothes off and go dancin' in the rain."
- When SpongeBob took off his pants, his shape looked like the pants, and didn't show his feet.
- In one scene, Squidward places the stereo on the order station, in the next scene, it is seen on top of the grill.
- SpongeBob is shown leaving the Krusty Krab in his underwear. But when the scene cuts to Squidward leaving the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is wearing his clothes again.
- He may have put them back on.
- When SpongeBob gives the people the Krabby Patties, they have lettuce but SpongeBob never put lettuce in him when he made the patties along with pickles.
- When Mr. Krabs put SpongeBob in the exhaust vent, the vent was in the wrong spot. It was at the back of the kitchen, not near the front, where the grill is.
- SpongeBob made Krabby Patties in his head without lettuce or pickles. When he delivered the Krabby Patties, lettuce and pickles suddenly came out of his head.
- It would be practically impossible, for a newspaper containing an article about Squidward reading SpongeBob's diary to be written, printed, copied, and distributed just minutes after the event happened.
- When SpongeBob was dancing naked, the kitchen window was empty. However, in the next scene, Squidward and the other customers were laughing at SpongeBob through the kitchen window.