[shows an old-school timer before going to the real thing]
Narrator: Since before time even existed, land-loving scientists have tried to learn the secrets of intelligence. Their studies led them to the sea, where the citizens of one under-sea comedy demonstrated a genius so enormous, the scientists felt compelled to record their actions for use in teaching mankind how to live better.
Spongebob: Whoever sent this obviously has no idea about the physical limitations of life underwater. Well, might as well throw these in the fire [Patrick and he throws the paper in the fire]
Narrator: The name of this miraculous place, Bikini Bottom! Pouring over the mass of brainy masterminds scattered about this strange land, the scientists chose six Bikini Bottom residents at random to study. [cuts to a scene in Plankton!] As the scientist's marble that the advanced knowledge and superior intellect or these six creatures. [shows another scene from Plankton!] They rolled their cameras and took notes, and now, finally, we can learn all of the things that these smarty-pantses have to teach us. Life lessons from Bikini Bottom!