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{{EpisodeTr/69a}}
{{BTranscript
 
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{{L|''[SpongeBob & Squidward are walking down the road towards the Krusty Krab]''}}
|Title=Krusty Towers
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|So, I was all ready to drain the fries, but I cooked the fries slightly too long! So...}}
|Season=4
 
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{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob?}}
|Episode=69a
 
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{{L|SpongeBob|So, here's where the bizarre twist comes in.}}
|Airdate=[[April 1]], [[2006]]
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob?}}
}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|They weren't overcooked at all!}}
 
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{{L|Squidward|SpongeBob, look! ''[picks him up and turns him around where we are shown a tall building]''}}
(SpongeBob & Squidward are walking down the road towards the Krusty Krab)
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow, what happened to the Krusty Krab?}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Good morning! The Krusty Towers is now opened for business!}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Why did you build a hotel, Mr. Krabs?}}
SpongeBob: So, I was all ready to drain the fries but I cooked the fries slightly too long. So...
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I'm glad you asked, son. Remember when I went to that fast food convention and stayed in that fancy hotel? I had a beautiful room. The employees were so friendly. They catered to me every whim, no matter how demeaning it was. Because they lived by a code. And that code was engraved in fine gold above the grand fireplace: "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request". Everything was perfect until I got the bill! They charged me for everything. $25 for a hamburger! ''[takes out a whole burger from inside his body]'' If they can charge that much for a lousy burger, imagine how much I could charge for a lousy Krabby Patty! And thus, the Krusty Towers was born.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Why would anyone stay in a hotel in Bikini Bottom? It's in the middle of scenic nowhere! There's nothing to do but get stung by jellyfish. ''[jellyfish stings Squidward on the head, forming a bump]'' See?}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[pushes the bump in and it goes to the other side of Squidward's head]'' Ooh!}}
Squidward: SpongeBob?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Come inside. ''[now inside Krusty Towers]'' Isn't it beautiful?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Where are all the new hotel employees? ''[Mr. Krabs throws uniforms onto Squidward & SpongeBob. Frank enters]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|My first hotel guest! Watch me reel him in. ''[walks behind desk]'' Welcome to the Krusty Towers, where our motto is "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request".}}
SpongeBob: So, here's where the bizarre twist comes in.
 
  +
{{L|Frank|Oh, that's great. I'd like a double Krabby Patty with no onions and extra pickles.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to rent a room and order room service.}}
 
  +
{{L|Frank|''[looks at watch]'' Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch. ''[sighs and leaves]''}}
Squidward: SpongeBob?
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Boy, you reeled that one in like a pro.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Ok, Squidward, ''you'' man the front desk.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I'd like a Krabby Patty, please.}}
SpongeBob: They weren't overcooked at all.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|This is a hotel now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to get a room and order room service.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Ok, one Krabby Patty and one room with cheese. Oh, and can I get cheese on the Krabby Patty, too?}}
 
Squidward: SpongeBob, look!! (picks him up and turns him around where we are shown a tall building)
+
{{L|Squidward|Patrick, you only live 400 yards away. Why do you want to check into a hotel?}}
  +
{{L|Patrick|Sometimes I just need to get away from it all. ''[rings bell]'' Wow, this hotel has everything!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[takes bell]'' Gimme that! Now sign the register!}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I didn't know there would be a test! I didn't study! ''[cries]''}}
SpongeBob: Wow, what happened to the Krusty Krab?
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Patrick, all you have to do is write your name.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Oh, ok. ''[takes pen]'' Do you mind?! ''[Squidward turns around so Patrick starts writing. Squidward peeks]'' Don't look! ''[Squidward turns around]'' Done! ''[Patrick drew an airplane and himself]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Close enough. Here's your room key.}}
Mr. Krabs: Good morning! The '''Krusty Towers''' is now opened for business.
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I'll need some help with my bags.}}
 
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{{L|Squidward|How can you have bags?! You just found out this is a hotel!}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|This is a hotel?}}
SpongeBob: Why did you build a hotel, Mr. Krabs?
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|D'oh... SpongeBob!}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Yes, Squidward?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Take Patrick and his bags to his room.}}
Mr. Krabs: I'm glad you asked, son. Remember when I went to that fast food convention and stayed in that fancy hotel? I had a beautiful room. The employees were so friendly. They catered to my every whim, no matter how demeaning it was. Because they lived by a code. And that code was engraved in fine gold above the grand fireplace: ("We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.") Everything was perfect until I got the bill. They charged me for everything. 25 dollars for a hamburger! (takes out a whole burger from inside his body) If they can charge that much for a lousy burger, imagine how much I could charge for a lousy krabby patty. And thus, the Krusty Towers was born.
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|What about my Krabby Patty?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|And bring him a Krabby Patty.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Squidward, ''you'' can take Patrick's bags up to his room. SpongeBob, you go make the Krabby Patty.}}
Squidward: why would anyone stay in a hotel in Bikini Bottom? It's in the middle of scenic nowhere. There's nothing to do but get stung by jellyfish. (jellyfish stings Squidward in head. SpongeBob pushes the bump in and it goes to the other side of Squidward's head)
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Oh, Mr Krabs!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What's the matter? Afraid of a little manual labor? ''[mocking Squidward]'' I'm Squidward and I have to work for a living. Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Fine. Let's go, Patrick. ''[has struggle with Patrick's bags as he is walking up to the elevator]''}}
Mr. Krabs: Come inside. (now inside Krusty Towers) Isn't it beautiful?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[comes out of the elevator]'' This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator. ''[walks to the other elevator, which turns out to be stairs. Walks up stairs as Patrick gets off the guest elevator]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|What's in these bags, rocks? ''[bag opens, spilling out rocks]'' Hey, these ''are'' rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks?}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I don't tell you how to live ''your'' life!}}
Squidward: Where are all the new hotel employees? (Mr. Krabs throws uniforms onto Squidward & SpongeBob. A hotel guest enters)
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Well, here's your room.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Wow.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Enjoy your stay.}}
Mr. Krabs: My first hotel guest. Watch me reel him in. (walks behind desk) Welcome to the Krusty Towers where our motto is "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request."
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Squidward, wait! ''[takes out a rock from his pocket and gives it to Squidward as a tip]'' Keep up the good work and there'll be more where that came from.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Your Krabby Patty, sir. ''[Squidward attempting to throw the rock that Patrick gave to him as a tip]'' Hey, Squidward, cool rock.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Hold on a second, SpongeBob. ''[hands SpongeBob a dollar]'' Here you are, my good man.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Why, thank you, Patrick!}}
Andy: Oh, that's great. I'd like a double krabby patty with no onions and extra pickles.
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|There's plenty more where that came from, my good friend ''[Squidward looks at his rock and becomes frustrated]'' Squidward!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|What now?!}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I don't like crusts on my sandwich!}}
Mr. Krabs: If you want a krabby patty, you'll have to rent a room and order room service.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|It's a bun; it's all crust! How am I suppose to cut the crust off a bun?}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Peel it.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[peels the skin off the bun angrily]'' Happy? ''[Patrick inhales the patty]''}}
Andy: Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch. (sighs and leaves)
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Room service! Here's the 50 Krabby Patties you ordered.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Could you do one more thing for me?}}
Squidward:(Sarcasticly) Boy, you reeled in that one like a pro.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Why don't you ask SpongeBob?}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Good idea, Squidward!}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|How may I serve you, sir?}}
Mr. Krabs: Ok, Squidward, you man the front desk.
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|I need you to eat these Krabby Patties with me.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, yes, sir! ''[both eat a bunch of Krabby Patties. As Squidward heads down the employee elevator, Mr. Krabs is on the phone]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Hold on. Squidward! Patrick needs your help.}}
Patrick: I'd like a krabby patty, please.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|What?! Why didn't he ask me before I walked all the way downstairs?}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|He said he didn't want to bother you, but he got over it.
 
  +
''[Squidward is unclogging the toilet when he unclogs SpongeBob]''}}
Squidward: This is a hotel now. If you want a krabby patty, you'll have to get a room and order room service.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks, Squidward! ''[Squidward puts him back in the toilet. Patrick flushes]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Mr. Krabs, this is ridiculous! Patrick's being completely unreasonable!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|He can be as unreasonable as he wants! The plaque, Squidward, the plaque!}}
Patrick: Ok, one krabby patty and one room with cheese. Oh, and can I get cheese on the krabby patty, too?
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|But Mr Krabs...}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Deny no guests! ''[phone rings]'' Why, hello, Patrick. You need Squidward to come up right away? He'll be right there.}}
 
Squidward: Patrick, you only live 400 yards away. Why do you want to check into a hotel?
+
{{L|Squidward|A bubble bath?! Why would I give you a bubble bath?!}}
  +
{{L|Patrick|Well, because Mr Krabs said you would! Well, be sure to make my back extra shiny clean.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|That's it! I've had enough!}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Squidward, wait! The toilet's backed up again!}}
Patrick: Sometimes I just need to get away from it all. (rings bell) Wow, this hotel has everything.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[Squidward comes down the guest elevator]'' Hey! Hey, you can't take that elevator! You're an employee!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Not anymore. I quit.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Quit? You can't quit. ''[Squidward walks out naked and reenters with Hawaiian-styled clothes. Squidward rings bell]'' Welcome to the Krusty Towers... Squidward?!}}
Squidward: (takes bell) Gimme that! Now sign the register.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|One room, please. On the top floor.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What do you think you're doing?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|I need a vacation. I'm overworked. And what better place to relax than Krusty Towers? Where "we shall never deny a guest even the ridiculous request".}}
Patrick: I didn't know there would be a test. I didn't study. (cries)
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|I don't have to rent you a room!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|I've got cash.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Oh... here's your room key.}}
Squidward: Patrick, all you have to do is write your name.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Spongebob, carry my things to my room.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Aye aye, guest sir. ''[turns legs into rockets and blasts off through the ceiling]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[talking to Mr. Krabs]'' And you can carry me to my room.}}
Patrick: Oh, ok. (takes pen) Do you mind? (Squidward turns around so Patrick starts writing. Squidward peeks) Don't look! (Squidward turns around) Done. (Patrick drew an airplane and himself)
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|And why in tarnation would I do that? You got four legs that aren't broken.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|The plaque. ''[plaque is shown. Mr. Krabs has just finished carrying Squidward from the employee elevator]'' Too bad we couldn't take the elevator, but it is for guests only, and you are an employee.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Your room, sir.}}
Squidward: Close enough. Here's your room key.
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[gasps]'' You've got to be kidding me!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|And I want it here in 5 seconds.}}
Patrick: I'll need some help with my bags.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Yes, sir! ''[runs off and comes back with a krabby patty in less than 2 seconds]'' Here you are, sir.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, you got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it.}}
 
Squidward: How can you have bags? You just found out this is a hotel.
+
{{L|Squidward|Oh, ''I'm'' not gonna eat this. You are.}}
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What?! You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to eat that!}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Psst, that's not really a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenails, and nose hairs.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[laughs]'' Now I get ya, boy. Alright, Squidward. ''[eats Krabby Patty then spits it out, showing his tongue covered with toenails and nose hairs. Squidward laughs]'' SpongeBob!}}
Patrick: This is a hotel?
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Sorry, Mr. Krabs! We were all out of cheese.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|''[everything in Patrick's room is covered in cheese]'' Hooray!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[phone rings]'' What is it, Squidward?}}
Squidward: D'oh...SpongeBob!
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Send up a dozen cookies just like mother used to make.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[at Squidward's room]'' Here's your homemade cookies.}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|''[tries one and spits it out]'' These don't taste like anything mom used to make!}}
SpongeBob: Yes, Squidward?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Well, how ''did'' your mother make 'em?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|How should I know?! Ask my mother! ''[slams door]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mrs. Tentacles|''[doorbell rings]'' Hello? ''[Mr. Krabs & SpongeBob are in ski masks]''}}
Squidward: Take Patrick and his bags to his room.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[trying to get a big sack in the trunk but the door won't close]'' SpongeBob! ''[SpongeBob hits the sack with a shovel but the trunk still won't close]''}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|No good, Mr. Krabs.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mrs. Tentacles|Allow me, boy. ''[closes trunk door]''}}
Patrick: What about my krabby patty?
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Great! Now that me laundry's in the trunk...}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|There's room for you to sit up front!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mrs. Tentacles|Let's go bake some cookies, boys.}}
Squidward: And bring him a krabby patty.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob & Mr. Krabs|Hooray!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[in Squidward's room where Squidward is sampling the cookies]'' Well?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|I'm impressed! These ''are'' just like mother used to make! I just wish mom was a better cook.}}
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you can take Patrick's bags up to his room. SpongeBob, you go make the krabby patty.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|So you're all taken care of?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Hm, just one teensy tiny problem. This room is hideous. Redesign it. Neptune the 14th would be nice.}}
 
Squidward: But Mr Krabs...
+
{{L|Mr. Krabs|What?!}}
  +
{{L|Squidward|"We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request". ''[Mr. Krabs & SpongeBob change the room to a blue theme, a modern theme, a country theme, a torture theme, and then back to the original]'' Perfect!}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|This room is exactly the same as when we started!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Nothing like getting back to the basics.}}
Mr. Krabs: What's the matter? Afraid of a little labor? (imitates Squidward) I'm Squidward and I have to work for a living. Boo hoo hoo.
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Let's get outta here, SpongeBob!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Oh, before you leave, I wanna go swimming.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|The pool's out back!}}
Squidward: Fine. Let's go, Patrick. (has struggle with Patrick's bags as he is walking up to the elevator)
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Ha ha, are you crazy? I'm not going outside to swim! ''[big swimming pool is now inside the room]'' Come on in, the water's fine. ''[SpongeBob jumps in]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Anything else stupid and unreasonable that you want?}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Nope, that's it.}}
Mr. Krabs: (comes out of the elevator) This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator. (walks to the other elevator that is only stairs. Walks up stairs as Patrick gets off the guest elevator)
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|You don't need me to chew your food for ya? Or make you a back scratcher out of me own spine? Or maybe extinguish the sun so the light don't get in your eyes?!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|No, I'm good.}}
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob|Me, too.}}
Squidward: What's in these bags, rocks? (bag opens spilling out rocks) Hey, these are rocks. Why is your suitcase full of rocks?
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|Wow, an indoor pool?! Well, this place ''is'' fancy! ''[gets on diving board]'' Cannonball! ''[jumps in but the pool collapses the hotel back into the Krusty Krab]''}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|''[at hospital with the gang]'' Oh, that hotel was a bad idea from the start.}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|That was a hotel?}}
Patrick: Well, I don't tell you how to live your life.
 
  +
{{L|Nurse|Your bill, sir.}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|$15,000?!}}
 
Squidward: Well, here's your room.
+
{{L|Squidward|You're not gonna have a heart attack are you?}}
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Not at these prices! Forget hotels! This hospital rack is where the money is!}}
 
  +
{{L|Patrick|This is a hospital?}}
 
  +
{{L|Mr. Krabs|Pack your bags, boys! You're going to medical school!}}
Patrick: Wow.
 
  +
{{L|SpongeBob & Patrick|Hooray!}}
 
  +
{{L|Squidward|Oh, boy.}}
 
Squidward: Enjoy your stay.
 
 
 
Patrick: Squidward, wait! (takes out a rock from his pocket and gives it to Squidward as a tip) Keep up the good work and there'll be more where that came from.
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Your krabby patty, sir. Hey, Squidward, cool rock.
 
 
 
Patrick: Hold on a second, SpongeBob. (hands SpongeBob a dollar) Here you are, my good man.
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Why thank you, Patrick.
 
 
 
Patrick: There's plenty more where that came from, my good friend. Squidward!
 
 
 
Squidward: What now?
 
 
 
Patrick: I don't like crusts on my sandwich.
 
 
 
Squidward: It's a bun. It's all crust. How am I suppose to cut the crust off a bun?
 
 
 
Patrick: Peel it.
 
 
 
Squidward: (peels skin off bun) Happy? (Patrick inhales the patty)
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Room service. Here's the 50 krabby patties you ordered.
 
 
 
Patrick: Can you do one more thing for me?
 
 
 
Squidward: Why don't you ask SpongeBob?
 
 
 
Patrick: Good idea, Squidward!
 
 
 
SpongeBob: How may I serve you, sir?
 
 
 
Patrick: I need you to eat these krabby patties with me.
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Oh, yes sir.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Hold on. Squidward, Patrick needs your help.
 
 
 
Squidward: What? Why didn't he ask me before I walked all the way downstairs.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: He said he didn't want to bother you. But he got over it. (Squidward is unclogging the toilet when he unclogs SpongeBob)
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Thanks, Squidward!
 
 
 
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, this is ridiculous. Patrick's being completely unreasonable.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: He can be as unreasonable as he wants. The plaque, Squidward, the plaque!
 
 
 
Squidward: But Mr Krabs...
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Deny no guest! (phone rings) Why, hello Patrick. You need Squidward to come up right away? He'll be right there.
 
 
 
Squidward: A BUBBLE bath?! WHY would I give YOU a BUBBLE BATH?!?!
 
 
 
Patrick: Because Mr Krabs said you would. but make sure to make my back extra shiny clean.
 
 
 
Squidward: THAT'S IT! I've had enough!
 
 
 
Patrick: Squidward, wait! The toilet's backed up again!
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: (Squidward comes down the guest elevator) Hey, hey, you can’t take that elevator. You're an employee.
 
 
 
Squidward: Not anymore. I quit.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Quit? You can't quit. (bell dings) Welcome to the Krusty Tower-Squidward?!
 
 
 
Squidward: One room, please. On the top floor.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: What do you think you're doing?
 
 
 
Squidward: I need a vacation. I'm overworked. And what better place to relax than Krusty Towers. Where we shall never deny a guest even the ridiculous request.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: I don't have to rent you a room.
 
 
 
Squidward: I've got cash.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Errr...here's your room key.
 
 
 
Squidward: SpongeBob, carry my things to my room.
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Aye aye, guest sir. (turns legs into rockets and blasts off through the ceiling)
 
 
 
Squidward: (talking to Mr. Krabs) And you can carry me to my room.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: And why in tarnation would I do that? You've got four legs that aren't broken.
 
 
 
Squidward: The plaque. (cuts toward top floor, with Squidward being carried up by Mr. Krabs) Too bad we couldn't take the elevator but it is for guests only and you are an employee.
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Your room, sir.
 
 
 
Squidward: And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a krabby patty with cheese, toenail clippings and nose hairs.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: (gasps) You've got to be kidding me.
 
 
 
Squidward: And I want it here in 5 seconds.
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Yes, sir! (runs off and comes back with a krabby patty in less than 2 seconds) Here you are, sir.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Well, you've got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it.
 
 
 
Squidward: Oh, I'm not going to eat this. You are.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: What? You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to eat that.
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Psst, that's not really a krabby patty with cheese, toenails and nose hairs.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Now I get ya, boy. Alright, Squidward. (eats it,crunching and munching, but spits it out digust realizing it´s indeed a Krabby Patty with cheese toenails and nose hair) ( Squidward laughs histerically) SpongeBob!
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. We were all out of cheese.
 
 
 
Patrick: (room is covered in cheese) Hooray!
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: (phone rings) What is it, Squidward?
 
 
 
Squidward: Send up a dozen cookies just like mother used to make.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: (at Squidward’s room) Here's your homemade cookies.
 
 
 
Squidward: (tries one and spits it out) These don't taste like anything mom used to make.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: How did your mother make 'em?
 
 
 
Squidward: How should I know? Ask my mother. (slams door)
 
(cuts to SpongeBob and Mr. Krab at Mrs. Tentacle´ house)
 
 
Mrs. Tentacles (doorbell rings) Hello? ( Mr. Krabs & SpongeBob are in ski masks)
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: (trying to get a big sack in the trunk but the door won't close) SpongeBob! (SpongeBob hits the sack with a shovel but the trunk still won't close)
 
 
SpongeBob: No good, Mr. Krabs.
 
 
 
Mrs. Tentacles: Allow me, boy. (closes trunk door)
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Great! Now that my laundry’s in the trunk...
 
 
 
SpongeBob: There's room for you to sit up front.
 
 
 
Mrs. Tentacles: Let's go bake some cookies, boys.
 
 
 
SpongeBob & Mr. Krabs: Hooray!
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: (in Squidward’s room where Squidward is sampling the cookies) Well?
 
 
 
Squidward: I'm impressed. These (are) just like mother used to make. I just wish mom was a better cook.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: So you're all taken care of?
 
 
 
Squidward: Hmmm, just one teensy tiny problem. This room is hideous. Re-design it. Neptune the 14th would be nice.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: What?
 
 
 
Squidward: We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request. (Mr. Krabs & SpongeBob change the room to a blue theme, a modern theme, a country theme, a jail theme, and then back to the original) Perfect!
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: This room is exactly the same as when we started.
 
 
 
Squidward: Nothing like getting back to the basics.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Let's get out of here, SpongeBob.
 
 
 
Squidward: Oh, before you leave, I wanna go swimming.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: The pool's outback.
 
 
Squidward: Pfft, are you crazy? I'm not going outside to swim. (big swimming pool is now inside the room) Come on in the water's fine. (SpongeBob jumps in)Mr. Krabs: Anything else stupid and unreasonable that you want?
 
 
 
Squidward: Nope, that's it.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: You don't need me to chew your food for ya? Or make you a back scratcher out of me own spine. Or maybe distinguish the sun so the light doesn't get in your eyes?!
 
 
 
Squidward: No, I'm good.
 
 
 
SpongeBob: Me, too.
 
 
 
Patrick: Wow, an indoor pool? Well, this place is fancy. (gets on diving board) Cannonball! (jumps in but the pool collapses the hotel back into the Krusty Krab)
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: (at hospital with the gang) Oh, that hotel was a good idea from the start.
 
 
 
Patrick: That was a hotel?
 
 
 
Sadie: Your bill, sir.
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: $15,000?! )
 
 
 
Squidward: You're not gonna have a heart attack are you?
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices. Forget hotels. This hospital rack is where the money is.
 
 
 
Patrick: This is a hospital?
 
 
 
Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys. You're going to medical school.
 
 
SpongeBob & Patrick: Hooray!
 
 
 
Squidward: Oh, boy.
 
 
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]
 
[[Category:Episode transcripts]]

Revision as of 21:12, 21 August 2014

Template:EpisodeTr/69a

  • [SpongeBob & Squidward are walking down the road towards the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: So, I was all ready to drain the fries, but I cooked the fries slightly too long! So...
  • Squidward: SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: So, here's where the bizarre twist comes in.
  • Squidward: SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: They weren't overcooked at all!
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, look! [picks him up and turns him around where we are shown a tall building]
  • SpongeBob: Wow, what happened to the Krusty Krab?
  • Mr. Krabs: Good morning! The Krusty Towers is now opened for business!
  • SpongeBob: Why did you build a hotel, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm glad you asked, son. Remember when I went to that fast food convention and stayed in that fancy hotel? I had a beautiful room. The employees were so friendly. They catered to me every whim, no matter how demeaning it was. Because they lived by a code. And that code was engraved in fine gold above the grand fireplace: "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request". Everything was perfect until I got the bill! They charged me for everything. $25 for a hamburger! [takes out a whole burger from inside his body] If they can charge that much for a lousy burger, imagine how much I could charge for a lousy Krabby Patty! And thus, the Krusty Towers was born.
  • Squidward: Why would anyone stay in a hotel in Bikini Bottom? It's in the middle of scenic nowhere! There's nothing to do but get stung by jellyfish. [jellyfish stings Squidward on the head, forming a bump] See?
  • SpongeBob: [pushes the bump in and it goes to the other side of Squidward's head] Ooh!
  • Mr. Krabs: Come inside. [now inside Krusty Towers] Isn't it beautiful?
  • Squidward: Where are all the new hotel employees? [Mr. Krabs throws uniforms onto Squidward & SpongeBob. Frank enters]
  • Mr. Krabs: My first hotel guest! Watch me reel him in. [walks behind desk] Welcome to the Krusty Towers, where our motto is "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request".
  • Frank: Oh, that's great. I'd like a double Krabby Patty with no onions and extra pickles.
  • Mr. Krabs: If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to rent a room and order room service.
  • Frank: [looks at watch] Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch. [sighs and leaves]
  • Squidward: Boy, you reeled that one in like a pro.
  • Mr. Krabs: Ok, Squidward, you man the front desk.
  • Patrick: I'd like a Krabby Patty, please.
  • Squidward: This is a hotel now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to get a room and order room service.
  • Patrick: Ok, one Krabby Patty and one room with cheese. Oh, and can I get cheese on the Krabby Patty, too?
  • Squidward: Patrick, you only live 400 yards away. Why do you want to check into a hotel?
  • Patrick: Sometimes I just need to get away from it all. [rings bell] Wow, this hotel has everything!
  • Squidward: [takes bell] Gimme that! Now sign the register!
  • Patrick: I didn't know there would be a test! I didn't study! [cries]
  • Squidward: Patrick, all you have to do is write your name.
  • Patrick: Oh, ok. [takes pen] Do you mind?! [Squidward turns around so Patrick starts writing. Squidward peeks] Don't look! [Squidward turns around] Done! [Patrick drew an airplane and himself]
  • Squidward: Close enough. Here's your room key.
  • Patrick: I'll need some help with my bags.
  • Squidward: How can you have bags?! You just found out this is a hotel!
  • Patrick: This is a hotel?
  • Squidward: D'oh... SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Yes, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Take Patrick and his bags to his room.
  • Patrick: What about my Krabby Patty?
  • Squidward: And bring him a Krabby Patty.
  • Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you can take Patrick's bags up to his room. SpongeBob, you go make the Krabby Patty.
  • Squidward: Oh, Mr Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: What's the matter? Afraid of a little manual labor? [mocking Squidward] I'm Squidward and I have to work for a living. Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo.
  • Squidward: Fine. Let's go, Patrick. [has struggle with Patrick's bags as he is walking up to the elevator]
  • Mr. Krabs: [comes out of the elevator] This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator. [walks to the other elevator, which turns out to be stairs. Walks up stairs as Patrick gets off the guest elevator]
  • Squidward: What's in these bags, rocks? [bag opens, spilling out rocks] Hey, these are rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks?
  • Patrick: I don't tell you how to live your life!
  • Squidward: Well, here's your room.
  • Patrick: Wow.
  • Squidward: Enjoy your stay.
  • Patrick: Squidward, wait! [takes out a rock from his pocket and gives it to Squidward as a tip] Keep up the good work and there'll be more where that came from.
  • SpongeBob: Your Krabby Patty, sir. [Squidward attempting to throw the rock that Patrick gave to him as a tip] Hey, Squidward, cool rock.
  • Patrick: Hold on a second, SpongeBob. [hands SpongeBob a dollar] Here you are, my good man.
  • SpongeBob: Why, thank you, Patrick!
  • Patrick: There's plenty more where that came from, my good friend [Squidward looks at his rock and becomes frustrated] Squidward!
  • Squidward: What now?!
  • Patrick: I don't like crusts on my sandwich!
  • Squidward: It's a bun; it's all crust! How am I suppose to cut the crust off a bun?
  • Patrick: Peel it.
  • Squidward: [peels the skin off the bun angrily] Happy? [Patrick inhales the patty]
  • SpongeBob: Room service! Here's the 50 Krabby Patties you ordered.
  • Patrick: Could you do one more thing for me?
  • Squidward: Why don't you ask SpongeBob?
  • Patrick: Good idea, Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: How may I serve you, sir?
  • Patrick: I need you to eat these Krabby Patties with me.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, yes, sir! [both eat a bunch of Krabby Patties. As Squidward heads down the employee elevator, Mr. Krabs is on the phone]
  • Mr. Krabs: Hold on. Squidward! Patrick needs your help.
  • Squidward: What?! Why didn't he ask me before I walked all the way downstairs?
  • Mr. Krabs: He said he didn't want to bother you, but he got over it.

[Squidward is unclogging the toilet when he unclogs SpongeBob]

  • SpongeBob: Thanks, Squidward! [Squidward puts him back in the toilet. Patrick flushes]
  • Squidward: Mr. Krabs, this is ridiculous! Patrick's being completely unreasonable!
  • Mr. Krabs: He can be as unreasonable as he wants! The plaque, Squidward, the plaque!
  • Squidward: But Mr Krabs...
  • Mr. Krabs: Deny no guests! [phone rings] Why, hello, Patrick. You need Squidward to come up right away? He'll be right there.
  • Squidward: A bubble bath?! Why would I give you a bubble bath?!
  • Patrick: Well, because Mr Krabs said you would! Well, be sure to make my back extra shiny clean.
  • Squidward: That's it! I've had enough!
  • Patrick: Squidward, wait! The toilet's backed up again!
  • Mr. Krabs: [Squidward comes down the guest elevator] Hey! Hey, you can't take that elevator! You're an employee!
  • Squidward: Not anymore. I quit.
  • Mr. Krabs: Quit? You can't quit. [Squidward walks out naked and reenters with Hawaiian-styled clothes. Squidward rings bell] Welcome to the Krusty Towers... Squidward?!
  • Squidward: One room, please. On the top floor.
  • Mr. Krabs: What do you think you're doing?
  • Squidward: I need a vacation. I'm overworked. And what better place to relax than Krusty Towers? Where "we shall never deny a guest even the ridiculous request".
  • Mr. Krabs: I don't have to rent you a room!
  • Squidward: I've got cash.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh... here's your room key.
  • Squidward: Spongebob, carry my things to my room.
  • SpongeBob: Aye aye, guest sir. [turns legs into rockets and blasts off through the ceiling]
  • Squidward: [talking to Mr. Krabs] And you can carry me to my room.
  • Mr. Krabs: And why in tarnation would I do that? You got four legs that aren't broken.
  • Squidward: The plaque. [plaque is shown. Mr. Krabs has just finished carrying Squidward from the employee elevator] Too bad we couldn't take the elevator, but it is for guests only, and you are an employee.
  • SpongeBob: Your room, sir.
  • Squidward: And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.
  • Mr. Krabs: [gasps] You've got to be kidding me!
  • Squidward: And I want it here in 5 seconds.
  • SpongeBob: Yes, sir! [runs off and comes back with a krabby patty in less than 2 seconds] Here you are, sir.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, you got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it.
  • Squidward: Oh, I'm not gonna eat this. You are.
  • Mr. Krabs: What?! You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to eat that!
  • SpongeBob: Psst, that's not really a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenails, and nose hairs.
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Now I get ya, boy. Alright, Squidward. [eats Krabby Patty then spits it out, showing his tongue covered with toenails and nose hairs. Squidward laughs] SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs! We were all out of cheese.
  • Patrick: [everything in Patrick's room is covered in cheese] Hooray!
  • Mr. Krabs: [phone rings] What is it, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Send up a dozen cookies just like mother used to make.
  • Mr. Krabs: [at Squidward's room] Here's your homemade cookies.
  • Squidward: [tries one and spits it out] These don't taste like anything mom used to make!
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, how did your mother make 'em?
  • Squidward: How should I know?! Ask my mother! [slams door]
  • Mrs. Tentacles: [doorbell rings] Hello? [Mr. Krabs & SpongeBob are in ski masks]
  • Mr. Krabs: [trying to get a big sack in the trunk but the door won't close] SpongeBob! [SpongeBob hits the sack with a shovel but the trunk still won't close]
  • SpongeBob: No good, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mrs. Tentacles: Allow me, boy. [closes trunk door]
  • Mr. Krabs: Great! Now that me laundry's in the trunk...
  • SpongeBob: There's room for you to sit up front!
  • Mrs. Tentacles: Let's go bake some cookies, boys.
  • SpongeBob & Mr. Krabs: Hooray!
  • Mr. Krabs: [in Squidward's room where Squidward is sampling the cookies] Well?
  • Squidward: I'm impressed! These are just like mother used to make! I just wish mom was a better cook.
  • Mr. Krabs: So you're all taken care of?
  • Squidward: Hm, just one teensy tiny problem. This room is hideous. Redesign it. Neptune the 14th would be nice.
  • Mr. Krabs: What?!
  • Squidward: "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request". [Mr. Krabs & SpongeBob change the room to a blue theme, a modern theme, a country theme, a torture theme, and then back to the original] Perfect!
  • Mr. Krabs: This room is exactly the same as when we started!
  • Squidward: Nothing like getting back to the basics.
  • Mr. Krabs: Let's get outta here, SpongeBob!
  • Squidward: Oh, before you leave, I wanna go swimming.
  • Mr. Krabs: The pool's out back!
  • Squidward: Ha ha, are you crazy? I'm not going outside to swim! [big swimming pool is now inside the room] Come on in, the water's fine. [SpongeBob jumps in]
  • Mr. Krabs: Anything else stupid and unreasonable that you want?
  • Squidward: Nope, that's it.
  • Mr. Krabs: You don't need me to chew your food for ya? Or make you a back scratcher out of me own spine? Or maybe extinguish the sun so the light don't get in your eyes?!
  • Squidward: No, I'm good.
  • SpongeBob: Me, too.
  • Patrick: Wow, an indoor pool?! Well, this place is fancy! [gets on diving board] Cannonball! [jumps in but the pool collapses the hotel back into the Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: [at hospital with the gang] Oh, that hotel was a bad idea from the start.
  • Patrick: That was a hotel?
  • Nurse: Your bill, sir.
  • Mr. Krabs: $15,000?!
  • Squidward: You're not gonna have a heart attack are you?
  • Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices! Forget hotels! This hospital rack is where the money is!
  • Patrick: This is a hospital?
  • Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys! You're going to medical school!
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Hooray!
  • Squidward: Oh, boy.