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Krusty Katering
General
Season №: 10
Episode №: 208b
Airdate: March 4, 2017
Chronology
Previous: "Snooze You Lose"
Next: "SpongeBob's Place"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Krusty Katering" from season ten, which aired on March 4, 2017.

  • [The episode begins at a birthday party. The kids are having a fun time and Mr. Krabs is providing catering service to the kids.]
  • Squidward: I cannot believe I let you talk me into this.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, come now, Mr. Squidward. Catering is a great way for you to make a little extra money. And me to make a lot!
  • [They stop and see a little kid screaming.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Any ideas?
  • [Squidward throws a patty into the screaming kid's mouth.]
  • Squidward: How's that?
  • Mr. Krabs: Perfect, now get out there and feed the rest of those kids.
  • [Squidward sees the kids and imagines them as germs.]
  • Squidward: They all seem so... full of germs!
  • Mr. Krabs: Why, of course they're full of germs. They're kids. Why do you think I'm wearing this full-body latex covering? [laughs]
  • Squidward: Okay, I'm going in.
  • [Squidward inhales himself and covers his nose.]
  • Squidward: Krabby Patty? Krabby Patty? [groans]
  • Kid: Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. [pokes on the patties with his germy hands]
  • Squidward: You're contaminating the food! Just pick one!
  • [The kid sneezes on Squidward and the Krabby Patties. The patties are now covered in mucus, much to Squidward's disgust. The kid takes a patty.]
  • Squidward: [screams as he shakes his head] I've been infected!
  • [Three kids come up and eat the mucus covered Krabby Patties. Squidward finds this incredibly disgusting and throws up, scaring the kids. Patrick is dressed as a clown to entertain several of the kids.]
  • Patrick: Hey, kids, I'm a—
  • [The kids scream at Patrick's clown outfit. Patrick screams and hides in the coral tree.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Hey, I'm not paying you to play hide-and-seek! These children want to be entertained! Get down here! [shakes the tree]
  • [Patrick falls off the tree.]
  • Kid: I want a balloon animal.
  • [Patrick gets up.]
  • Patrick: Uh, um.
  • [Patrick takes out several balloons, stretches them, and blows air through them. Then he ties them together to form a rock-shaped balloon.]
  • Kid: What is it?
  • Patrick: A rock.
  • [The rock-shaped balloon carries the kid away. Mr. Krabs is putting a blindfold over the eyes of the birthday boy, Billy.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Okay, birthday boy. Take a swing at that piñata, son.
  • [Billy swings his stick and tries to break a piñata shaped like Plankton. Billy hits Mr. Krabs with the stick.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oof! [laughs] Don't hit nice old Mr. Krabs. [laughs] It's the piñata you want, son.
  • [Billy peeks through the blindfold and hits Mr. Krabs with the stick. Mr. Krabs cracks and breaks open money.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Me money! Do I look like a piñata to you, boy?
  • Billy: Yes, get him!
  • [The kids grab torches and pitchforks and chase Mr. Krabs around. Mr. Krabs hides behind the tree, but the kids find him and continue to chase him. SpongeBob, who appears as a bouncing house, has children bounce inside his body.]
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] Higher! Go higher!
  • [A goth kid walks up and is wearing spiky cleats.]
  • SpongeBob: Uh, don't forget to take your shoes off before bouncing.
  • [The goth kid doesn't listen and runs into SpongeBob's body, popping holes with his cleats. SpongeBob explodes and is sent flying.]
  • SpongeBob: Ow!
  • [Mr. Krabs and Squidward become terrified at the kids' wild behavior.]
  • Squidward: We have to get out of here! These children are menaces!
  • Patrick: They tore off my head.
  • [Patrick is shown with his severed body. Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and SpongeBob exclaim in fear.]
  • SpongeBob: Maybe we should make a break for it, Mr. Krabs.
  • [Billy appears in Mr. Krabs' pants.]
  • Billy: I want my birthday cake!
  • [Mr. Krabs screams.]
  • Billy: Cake, cake!
  • [Mr. Krabs takes Billy out of his pants and throws him away.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Come on, men, let's cheese it!
  • [Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, and SpongeBob retreat to their catering truck. When all of a sudden, a high-class woman with her pet worm is observing the truck. They immediately stop.]
  • Ms. Mildred: Oh, my, are you the high-class caterers I hired for an extraordinarily large sum of money?
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes!
  • SpongeBob: No!
  • Mr. Krabs: [covers SpongeBob's mouth] Yes.
  • SpongeBob: [speaks through his head] No!
  • Mr. Krabs: [throws SpongeBob's mouth back in his head] Yes. [shuts SpongeBob's mouth]
  • Ms. Mildred: I do not have time for this tomfoolery. I have a mansion full of very high-class guests waiting for a high-class catering. Are you they or are you nay?
  • Mr. Krabs: Indubitably, madam. We are your high-class caterers.
  • Ms. Mildred: But where are your tuxedos?
  • Mr. Krabs: Tuxedos? Oh, just give us a moment to suit up, me good lady.
  • [Mr. Krabs pushes Squidward, SpongeBob, and Patrick away for a moment.]
  • Squidward: Now, where are we going to get tuxedos from?
  • Mr. Krabs: You.
  • Squidward: Hey, what are you—
  • [Mr. Krabs grabs Squidward and squeezes ink out from his head. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, SpongeBob, and Patrick are now wearing tuxedos made out of squid ink.]
  • Squidward: Ew.
  • Mr. Krabs: Ready to serve you, Miss Money Bags—er, I—I mean, ma'am.
  • Ms. Mildred: Very nice. Here is your payment.
  • [Ms. Mildred gives Mr. Krabs a check for 50,000,00 dollars. Mr. Krabs is thrilled and rolls around on the ground with the check. SpongeBob snatches the check from Mr. Krabs.]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you can't take that check. We're not high-class caterers.
  • Mr. Krabs: [grabs the check from SpongeBob] We are anything we need to be for me to make this money.
  • [Mr. Krabs rolls the check and stores it in his head.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Unless you wanna go back to the kids' party.
  • [Mr. Krabs points to the birthday party, which is now a complete mess as the kids are destroying everything and running wild.]
  • All: No!
  • Mr. Krabs: That's what I thought. Then start setting up inside.
  • [SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick run into Ms. Mildred's mansion.]
  • Patrick: This place is so shiny.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, and so are the people.
  • Squidward: Oh, there's no way those people are gonna think our junk food is high class.
  • Mr. Krabs: Hmm, you might be right. SpongeBob, go find something to fancy-up the food.
  • SpongeBob: Fancy. Got it, Mr. Krabs.
  • [SpongeBob runs to the kitchen.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Good, now I'll just get the lay of the land around here.
  • [Billy appears in Mr. Krabs' pants again.]
  • Billy: I want my birthday cake!
  • [Squidward and Patrick run screaming.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Great Neptune's ghost!
  • Billy: I want my cake! I want my cake!
  • Mr. Krabs: Hey, kid, easy, easy. Just calm down, will ya? I got your cake.
  • Billy: You did?
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah. [opens door] Your birthday cake is right through here. [throws Billy out the door]
  • Billy: Where? I don't see any—
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs as he closes the door] Won't be seeing him again any time soon.
  • [Billy appears at the window, scaring Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs closes five windows while Billy is speaking.]
  • Billy: I. Want. My. Birthday. Cake!
  • [Mr. Krabs sighs in relief. However, Billy opens all five windows.]
  • Billy: I want my birthday cake!
  • [Mr. Krabs screams in horror and runs away from the windows. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward show up with the food they prepared.]
  • SpongeBob: What do you think of this, Mr. Krabs? [shows Mr. Krabs Krabby Patties with jewelry on them] I call it, "Krabby Pâté." Classy, huh? Serve it while it's hot, Patrick.
  • [Patrick walks off to serve the food.]
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, were those jewels on the patties?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah. You said, "Fancy-up the food", so I found some shiny stuff for garnish. Got a whole box.
  • Mr. Krabs: What the— [gasps] SpongeBob, you can't just go around taking people's precious jewels!
  • SpongeBob: Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I was just doing what you told me.
  • Mr. Krabs: [groans] Don't worry about it. Just tell me where you got them gems from.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, upstairs. I went left, then right, then double and triple right, then down, up, and right 18 more times. Then do four somersaults, a barrel roll, jump backwards twice, spin till you get sick... [gags] And you're there.
  • [Silence.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Okay. [walks off with the jewels]
  • Patrick: Fancy foods! Get your fancy foods here!
  • [One high-class guest takes a patty and eats it. As he eats it, jewels are sticking to his teeth.]
  • Guest 1: Delicious.
  • Patrick: I love delicious stuff. My turn!
  • [Patrick eats a patty and a jewel stuck to his tooth.]
  • Patrick: Yummy.
  • Guest 2: I'll take a slice of that.
  • Patrick: Mine! [growls]
  • [Patrick bites the hand on another high-class guest.]
  • Guest 3: Ouch!
  • [Patrick barks like a dog and eats the plate full of Krabby Pâtés like a wild animal. The scene changes to Squidward serving Krabby Pâtés in a different room.]
  • Squidward: Who wants food? I'm a mindless drone with food. Working for the man. Huh?
  • [Squidward notices a band playing for the party and sees one member playing the clarinet.]
  • Squidward: Ooh. [his eyes fall out on the Krabby Pâtés]
  • [A guest behinds Squidward clears her throat as she demands to hand her a slice of the Krabby Pâtés.]
  • Squidward: Here you go, princess.
  • [Squidward shoves the plate full of patties into the guests mouth as his eyes stick to her head. Squidward chuckles as he sees his chance to be a musician. Squidward snatches the clarinet player and steals his clarinet. He then goes up on the stage.]
  • Squidward: Let's do this thing.
  • [Squidward plays through the clarinet, but plays notes that are off-key. The band finds this annoying and takes a step to the right.]
  • Squidward: Hey, where are you going?
  • [Squidward tries it again, but the band steps off the stage.]
  • Squidward: Oh, down here.
  • [Squidward tries it again, but the band runs back on the stage.]
  • Squidward: I never heard of a marching quintet.
  • [Squidward tries it again, but the band has had enough and decides to run away from Squidward.]
  • Squidward: Uh, wait for me. Wait, wait, wait, wait for me. Wait, wait— [squeaks with his clarinet] Hey, hey! [squeaks some more]
  • [Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs is in the hallways upstairs, trying to find the place to return the jewels.]
  • Mr. Krabs: All right, what did he say? 18 rights, then four lefts, or five? Ooh.
  • [Billy appears in Mr. Krabs' pants again.]
  • Billy: I want my birthday cake!
  • Mr. Krabs: [screams] Oh, you—get off! Enough of this! [pulls Billy off his face]
  • Billy: If you don't get me my birthday cake, I'll set off all these fireworks!
  • [Billy holds out a handful of fireworks, which frightens Mr. Krabs.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Give me those! Young boy like yourself shouldn't be playing with fireworks. They're too dangerous.
  • Billy: Gosh, no one ever cared enough about me to explain that. It's like you're my real father. [teary eyed] May I hug you?
  • [Billy hugs Mr. Krabs.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ooh.
  • Ms. Mildred: [voiceover] Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: [screams] Oh, uh, quick, in here! [stuffs Billy in the laundry chute]
  • Billy: Why, father? Why?
  • Ms. Mildred: [voiceover] Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Um, yes, ma'am?
  • Ms. Mildred: [voiceover] Mr. Krabs, we seem to be having some problems with the food service.
  • Patrick: Mine, mine!
  • [Patrick takes a patty out of a guest's mouth and eats it.]
  • Patrick: Mine, mine!
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh, I'll be right down to have a look. Just need to find something here. All right, where was I? Four somersaults and a barrel roll, I think.
  • [Mr. Krabs does some somersaults on the floor and rolls down the hallway. Patrick roars like a gorilla and jumps onto a table. He growls at the guests until SpongeBob shows up to calm the wild starfish down.]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, no! The food is for the guests!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick do a tug-of-war with the patty until Patrick lets go of the patty. The patty is sent flying into Squidward's clarinet.]
  • Squidward: What the—?
  • [Squidward blows the patty out of the clarinet.]
  • Nathiel Waters: So then, I was all like— [gets hit by the patty] Oof! Well, I never!
  • Guest 4: Food fight!
  • [All of the guests at the party get into a food fight and throws food everywhere.]
  • Ms. Mildred: Oh, my.
  • [Meanwhile upstairs, Mr. Krabs spins towards the door of Ms. Mildred's room.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Whoa. [belches] This must be the place. [enters Ms. Mildred's room] Hello? Ooh.
  • [In the middle of the room, there is a large water bed.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ooh-ee. That is one big—water bed?
  • [Mr. Krabs touches the bed and it ripples up to the top. On top of the bed, Billy is up there bouncing on it.]
  • Billy: Birthday cake!
  • Mr. Krabs: Dogfish!
  • Billy: Hi, Daddy!
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't call me that! And stop jumping on that water bed! You'll pop it!
  • Billy: Okay, Daddy!
  • Mr. Krabs: [climbs up to the top] Get over here!
  • [Mr. Krabs jumps on the bed to grab Billy, but misses.]
  • Billy: Hah, Daddy!
  • Mr. Krabs: Why, you little—
  • [Mr. Krabs jumps on the bed to grab Billy, but misses again. Mr. Krabs growls and tries to catch Billy. However, his pointy feet pops the water bed.]
  • Billy: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh.
  • Billy: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
  • [The water bed explodes water. Meanwhile downstairs, the guest are continuing with their food fight.]
  • Ms. Mildred: Stop it, everyone! You're ruining my par— [gets food thrown in her face] Oh, no, you did not!
  • [Ms. Mildred throws dozens of food at her barbaric guests. Mr. Krabs is upstairs, trying to escape the flooding water.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Barrel roll, four somersaults!
  • [Mr. Krabs does some somersaults as the torrent of water flows down the hallway.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Look out, flood's a-coming!
  • [Ms. Mildred is busy throwing food at the guests as SpongeBob is sweeping the floor.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Nice doing business with you!
  • Ms. Mildred: Come back here!
  • [The flood engulfs the entire room. SpongeBob doesn't take notice of it until he sees it coming towards him.]
  • SpongeBob: Huh? [screams]
  • [He gets engulfed in the floods as well. Ms. Mildred chases Mr. Krabs across the hall until she gets engulfed in the flood. Mr. Krabs slips on some food and is sent flying in the air.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Whoa!
  • [The lit candles on the chandelier ignites the fireworks and Mr. Krabs falls on the ground. He smells smoke and sees the fireworks being ignited.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, no.
  • [The fireworks send Mr. Krabs flying through the air. Several guests continue to food fight until they take notice of Mr. Krabs flying past them.]
  • Guests: Ooh!
  • [The flood comes in and engulfs them as well. Mr. Krabs, Squidward and Patrick run out of the mansion. The mansion explodes with water and sends a tidal wave flowing out. Billy is surfing on Mr. Krabs' check.]
  • Billy: Yay! [gets splattered with his birthday cake] My cake!
  • Mr. Krabs: My check!
  • Ms. Mildred: My party!
  • [SpongeBob, who is a bouncing house again, is surfing on the tidal wave. Ms. Mildred and several kids from Billy's party are bouncing on him. SpongeBob laughs as the tidal wave carries everyone off into the sunset. One kid, who is still holding onto the balloon rock, floats by and continues screaming.]

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