SpongeBob:[has Krabby Patty meat in a container] Ooh...delicious!!
[Heblows out more Krabby Patties onto a nearby table and puts them all into the freezer, Then rolls up the leftover meat into a top hat then puts it on]
SpongeBob: Top of the morning to ya! [laughs then makes the meat into a version of Gary and it meows. Then makes the meat into a telephone and answers it] Krusty Krab! SpongeBob speaking! [laughs again but the telephone suddenly starts to ring and answers it] Gary? Is that you? [pause] Gary, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing! [hangs the phone up then makes the meat into a hot dog-like shape] Oooh! [boils the meat in water on the stove]
Narrator: One wiener later...
SpongeBob:[enters Mr. Krabs' office holding the hot dog] MR. KRABS!!! This wiener tastes like a Krabby Patty! Maybe we could add them to the menu?
Mr. Krabs: I'm not impressed...
SpongeBob: I made it over leftover ingredients.
Mr. Krabs: Now I'm impressed!
Frank:[enters the Krusty Krab and walks to the empty cash register] Hmm...could've sworn that sign said "Open."
Squidward:[outside] Sigh...Once in awhile, I need to breathe in and not smell grease. Or the stench of my miserably failed life...Talking to myself...again...
SpongeBob:[showing Mr. Krabs how to make a Krusty Dog] And I just cook it like this!
Mr. Krabs: Go on.
Frank: My! What an interesting shape! Are those for sale?
Mr. Krabs: Why? Would you like to buy one?
Frank: Well, that would depend on the price.
Mr. Krabs: Would you pay the same is what a Krabby Patty costs?
Frank: Hmm...sure! I suppose so!
Mr. Krabs: What 'bout double?
Frank: Now you're talking!
Customer: Krabby Patties again? Sigh… if only there were something else...[notices Frank eating a Krusty Dog] Hey, whatcha got there Frank?
Frank: It's new! Taste just like a Krabby Patty but it's shaped like a wiener! [walks off]
All Three Customers: That sounds interesting!
Customer:[talking to SpongeBob]Hey! I'd like to request a wiener!
Two Customers: Me too!
All Three Customers: Wieners! Wieners! Wieners!
[Mr. Krabs climbs up to the menu sign and writes "Krusty Dogs" on it in red chalk]
SpongeBob: Squidward, what's that noise?
Mr. Krabs: Up here boys! Take a look!
SpongeBob: I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs! What's it say?
Mr. Krabs: It says "Krusty Dogs, only $3.99! Or $4.99 with cheese!
Squidward: $4.99!? That's highway robbery!
Mr. Krabs: Avec fromage, Monsieur Squidward! Avec fromage!
SpongeBob: My Krusty Dog! Handwritten on the menu! Oh, pinch me Squidward!
Squidward: Pinch yourself you ninny.
Narrator: The following day...
Mr. Krabs:[runs to SpongeBob holding a ticket] SpongeBob! Three more Krusty Dogs! Pronto!
SpongeBob: Aye, aye Captain! [dumps three Krusty Dogs in a pan of hot water]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Three more orders of Krusty Dogs! Extra Krusty!
SpongeBob: Wow, Mr. Krabs! We sure are gettin' a lot of orders for Krusty Dogs!
Mr. Krabs: Yep!
SpongeBob: I'll get those going after I finish cooking up these Krabby Patties!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, forget about making those Patties! Just make the wieners! [gives SpongeBob the ticket]
SpongeBob: Just make the wieners? [follows Mr. Krabs who is holding a ladder] Um, excuse me Mr. Krabs? Uh, w-where are you going with that ladder? Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: I'm just going to make a few changes to the Krusty Krab menu. That's all!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, that reminds me! Do you have an eraser I could borrow?
Mr. Krabs:[on top of the ladder] Ah, never mind. I'll just cross it off. [uses the chalk to mark out "Krabby Patties"] No more Krabby Patties!
SpongeBob:[shocked] No more Krabby… patties...[passes out then two Paramedics but a breathing mask on him]
Paramedic 1: Okay, just breathe normally son.
SpongeBob: No more Krabby paddy…
Paramedic 1: There you go. That's it.
Paramedic 2: There! He's starting to revive.
SpongeBob: I had this horrible dream. That Mr. Krabs would never let me cook Krabby Patties again. [sees Mr. Krabs pushing the grill out from the Krusty Krab]
Kr. Krabs: Pardon me.
SpongeBob:[falls on the floor crying]
Paramedic 2: We're losing him!
Kr. Krabs:[Mr. Krabs throws grill into trash heap]
Mr. Krabs:[zoomed in on Mr. Krabs eyes] SpongeBob. SpongeBob. Wake up.
SpongeBob:[being held in the two paramedics arms] Where am I? And what are these paramedics doing here?
Mr. Krabs: You're back in yer old kitchen. And the paramedics were here to revive ye.
SpongeBob: I was asleep?
Kr. Krabs: Yea, but just for a little while. I only docked your pay for the time you were unconscious.
SpongeBob:[looks over at the empty space where the grill used to be] Mr. Krabs, isn't that where the grill used to be? [points to empty space]
Mr. Krabs: Maybe. But now we have this! [unveils a small hot dog cooker]
SpongeBob: And what about my… my spatula? [tears fill eyes]
Mr. Krabs: I got'cha a new one! [lifts up hot dog holder]
SpongeBob:[catches hot dog holder, accidentally pinching his nose with it]
Mr. Krabs and the paramedics:[laugh at SpongeBob]
Mr. Krabs: Alright! Those wieners aren't going to rotisserie themselves. Everybody back to work.
Mr. Krabs and paramedics:[walk away]
SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain.
SpongeBob:[approaches Squidward] Squidward, can I talk to you for 1 second?
Squidward: I don't know. That's a pretty long talk.
SpongeBob: Has anything ever happened at your job that… well, made it not-as-fun as it used to be?
Squidward: Actually, yes.
SpongeBob: Really?! What was it?
Squidward: Being hired.
SpongeBob: I don't know why, but things aren't just the same after Krusty Dogs were added to the menu.
Squidward: SpongeBob, my boy, I realized long ago that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing, that could make this job any more boring, or humiliating, or demeaning, that it already is.
Squidward:[wearing hot dog suit outside Krusty Krab]
Billy: Look at that guy dressed as a hot dog, Mommy.
Mom: Let that inspire you to stay in school, Billy.
Billy:[runs back and kicks Squidward]
SpongeBob:[approaches Mr. Krabs who is hammering a sign to a support beam] Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy SpongeBob! How's go the wieners?
SpongeBob: Eh, I was kinda wondering… could we just go back to selling Krabby Patties?
Mr. Krabs: What on earth for?! Krusty Dogs was your best idea ever boy!
SpongeBob: I know. Well, I guess I sorta miss the Krabby Patties. After all, they're what gave this place it's name.
Mr. Krabs: Yea, good point.
SpongeBob: Yea! Don't' you think we should… [SpongeBob watches Mr. Krabs dash outside and change the sign to "The Krusty Dogs] Krusty Dogs?! Those wieners have got to go!
SpongeBob:[serves 2 customers their hot dogs] Here you go, hungry customers, your delicious Krusty Dogs!
Female Customer: They do look delicious!
SpongeBob: Yes! [whispers into her ear] Eat one and you'll develop and unsightly skin condition.
SpongeBob:[approaches another customer] Here's your footlong, sir!
Customer: Thanks! 12 inches of deliciousness!
SpongeBob: Yea! You know what gives them that added flavor?
Customer: No, what?
SpongeBob:[whispers into ear] Nose hair and recycled dental floss.
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing?
SpongeBob: We have got to get rid of these wieners and being back the Krabby Patty!
Squidward: SpongeBob, I never thought I'd be saying this, but, count me in!
Squidward:[bursts into Krusty Krab] Help! I'm having horrible abdominal pain! I think it was the… the… [looks over at SpongeBob]
Squidward: The wiener!
SpongeBob:[dressed in a brown coat and beard] Ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to introduce myself. I am but a simple, old timey gentlemen. I came here for 1 purpose today.
Old lady customer: So I said, it didn't smell so bad, but it tastes of...
SpongeBob: QUIET GRANNY I'M TALKING!
Old lady customer: Oh
SpongeBob: And that is to loudly decry these modern, new fangled days of wieners. And to beg for a return to a simpler time. A Krabby Pattier time. [looks at customers]
Female customer: I'm not really conceded about possible ill-health effects. What about you guys?
Customer #1: Eh
Customer #2: What about nostalgia?
Female customer: Never heard of him [continues eating]
SpongeBob: Okay, that didn't work at all.
Squidward: It only seems to have increased their appetite for wieners.
SpongeBob: We need stronger tactics.
Squidward: Like something that would make Mr. Krabs' wiener thing blow right up in his face!
SpongeBob: Yea, blow up. [facial expression changes to happy] Squidward, that's it! [skips and laughs away]
SpongeBob:[grabs balloons from a drawer, puts in Krusty Dog] Beautiful.
SpongeBob:[serves to customer with a air pump connected to the Krusty Dog] Your Krusty Dog sir, with extra mustard.
SpongeBob: Can I bring you something else? [silence] Okay, I guess not. Thank you sir. [walks away]
Customer:[picks up Krusty Dog, slowly starts bringing it to his mouth]
SpongeBob:[watches Customer] Wait for it SpongeBob. Wait for it. Now! [pushes down on air pump, filling up the balloon, and the hot dog]
Female Customer: Yea, remember that, that was… Oh my Neptune! [sees hot dog expanding] That Krusty Dog is about to explode!
Customer eating Krusty Dog: What? Where? [Krusty Dog explodes, shooting meat on all the customers]
All customers:[begin screaming and angrily leaving]
SpongeBob: Have a nice day!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What happened in here? Where all me customers?! What are we gonna do?
SpongeBob: Ooo! I know the answer.
Mr. Krabs:[pops in window looking at SpongeBob grilling Krabby Patties] Hey SpongeBob! Have you seen Mr. Squidward?
SpongeBob: I think he's outside on his break.
Mr. Krabs: Perfect! And keep them Krabby Patties coming boy!
SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain!
Squidward:[standing outside Krusty Krab in a Krabby Patty suit, waving a sign].
Billy: Look Mommy! It's a guy dressed as a Krabby Patty!
Mom: It's never too soon to start picking a good college, Billy. [runs back and kicks Squidward to the ground]
Squidward: Well, I guess I was wrong again. It can always get more humiliating.