This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Krabby Land" from season 3, which aired on April 3, 2004.
- SpongeBob: [reads the newspaper while sipping some coffee] Ah, I dont know how you do it, Gere Bear, but thats the best cup of French roast Ive ever had.
- Gary: [sits at the counter] Meow.
- SpongeBob: Well, time to punch that clock. [puts his hat on and walks into the living room] But not before checking my motivational Quote-a-Day calendar. [calendar reads "June 21"] You are a winner. [hugs himself then looks back at the calendar and gasps] And todays the first day of summer! [cut to the Krusty Krab where Squidward is at the register, bored. SpongeBob walks through the doors with a pink flower around his head. He tosses flower petals into the air] Happy first day of summer, Squidward! [walks over to Squidward] Care to join me for solstice caroling? [sings in a high voice] Walking in the grass, its so fine, dont need shoes in the summertime! [tosses flower buds at Squidward]
- Squidward: Im not much of a summer person, SpongeBob.
- Mr. Krabs: Davy Jones on the jib! Do my ears deceive me? Is it really the first day of summer? Is it?
- SpongeBob: [chuckles] Yeah.
- Mr. Krabs: [does a few back flips in the air] Whee-hoo! [runs over to the window]
- SpongeBob: [walks up to him] Gee Mr. K., you sure have a scorching case of summer fever! [turns around] What is it about summertime that makes us so happy? The firefly-lit nights, the intoxicating aroma of a charcoal briquette, the hypnotic sound of a lawnmower running over a flip-flop?
- Mr. Krabs: The money!
- SpongeBob: [confused] The money!?
- Mr. Krabs: I mean, the children!
- SpongeBob: [smiles] OW!
- Mr. Krabs: You see, boy, during the summer, the children are excused from their classes, a recess commonly referred to as summer break. [sits down on a barrel and SpongeBob sits on his lap]
- SpongeBob: Cool! Tell me more about summer break. [a school bell rings and all the kids run out of the school]
- Mr. Krabs: Well, during this summer break, the children wander Bikini Bottom unsupervised, their pockets lined with allowance. [a child runs by with a full pocket of coins] Free to spend their money without any parental guidance whatsoever. [pulls down a menu] I guess thats what I like best. [puts a sticker labeled 4.99 next to the Kiddie Meal] Sure, I suppose some would try and take advantage of this situation by selling them toys or candy, but I sleep well at night with the knowledge that Im providing them with something they need: a nutritious meal. [goes over to the front window] Come here, you little piggies!
- SpongeBob: Ive been taught the true meaning of summer.
- Narrator: Later... [Mr. Krabs is still standing at the window with the same expression on his face]
- SpongeBob: [walks up] Almost closing time, Mr. K.
- Mr. Krabs: What? But thats impossible. [sobs] What about the money? I mean uh... uh... what about the children? [SpongeBob shrugs as Mr. Krabs sighs] I guess summer isnt coming this year.
- SpongeBob: Hey, maybe theyre all at that new playground over there. [points at a playground where kids are playing]
- Mr. Krabs: Playground? Luring away me young customers. Warm up the boat, SpongeBob. [cut to the playground. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs pull up in their boat. They peek out using a pair of binoculars]
- SpongeBob: See anything, Mr. Krabs?
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, theyre here, all right. Just look at them, SpongeBob. [two kids are swinging] So weak and malnourished. [one of the kids is eating a lollipop] With nobody trying to sell em nothing. [a kid slides down a slide] Breaks me heart. [cries] No! Ive got nothing to live for, SpongeBob!
- SpongeBob: The way you drove the boat while lying on the ground was kind of cool.
- Mr. Krabs: True. But thats not gonna get these munchkins away from this playground. Unless... hmmm... see you tomorrow, boy. Got a lot of work to do. [drives off]
- SpongeBob: You got it, Mr. Krabs... hey! [cut to SpongeBob walking to the Krusty Krab] Another day, another dollar. Gee, I wonder what Mr. Krabs has been up to since I saw him last and then went home to do nothing of particular interest til this very moment. [stares at something in the distance] Huh? [a group of kids are lined up at the Krusty Krab where a sign reads "Krabby Land" is hanging. A giant sheet is covering some sort of area. SpongeBob walks up to Mr. Krabs]
- Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! [sticks the hammer in his belt] Youre just in time for the grand unveiling of Krabby Land!
- SpongeBob: Krabby Land, sir?
- Mr. Krabs: Yes, Krabby Land! [holds up a sign] Where a kid can be a kid for the right price. [laughs] Welcome to the Krusty Krab, young man. Whats your name?
- Kid: Monroe.
- Mr. Krabs: Nice to meet you, Monroe. [picks him up and laughs]
- Monroe: Whee!
- Mr. Krabs: [shakes Monroe and hears change in his pocket] Mmm... a-ha! [gets dollar signs in his eyes] Okay, kids! Its time for the grand unveiling of... money! [laughs]
- Kids: [gasps, a kid yells out] Hes calling us change! GET HIM! [all charge at Mr. Krabs]
- Mr. Krabs: [screams as the kids run after him]
- SpongeBob: [inside, sounds of Mr. Krabs getting beat up by the kids is heard]
- Squidward: So THIS this morning?
- SpongeBob: Yeah. [a noise is heard outside]
- Monroe: Come on outside, Mr. SquarePants. Its a summer miracle!
- Kids: [money is falling from the sky] Yay! Hooray!
- SpongeBob: Wow, thousands of dollars fluttering in the breeze. I guess thats the true meaning of summer.
- Kids: Hooray! [a kid on top of the Krusty Krab is throwing money down]
- SpongeBob: Wheres Mr. Krabs? Hes missing out on all the summer fun.
- Mr. Krabs: [is tied to poles like SpongeBob was earlier] Let me go! I gotta get some of that green stuff! [a muscular guy places a spoon of lima beans in front of him] No, not that green stuff! [a lima bean truck backs up] NOOOOOOO!!! [crying]