Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful" from season 7, which aired on January 2, 2010.

  • [Squidward opens his front door from his house and breathes in and out happily.]
  • Squidward: Another beautiful Sunday in Bikini Bottom. Nothing can ruin my good mood today! [closes the door and starts walking happily]
  • SpongeBob: [looks out of his window, rushes downstairs, and opens his own front door] Good morning, Squidward!
  • Squidward: [walks by] Ignoring, ignoring! La la dum. La la dee. La la doo. [cha chas down the street until he trips on a gum] Chewing gum!? That's disgusting! [pulls his foot away but the gum stays on his foot] Oh, c'mon! [tries pulling it off with his hand but it gets stuck, then tries both of his hands but they get stuck, then he pulls harder but his head gets stuck. Then uses head and hands but gets even more stuck. He struggles but he gets completely covered in gum. He then screams angrily, blowing a bubble that bursts the gum and Squidward gets covered in gum. Tries to get it off again and it turns into a bow-tie and he gets it off] People who litter really bug me! [throws it away. Laughs] Litterbugs. [laughing] Litterbugs! [continues laughing]
  • Officer John: [gum ends up in front of him, he picks it up, squeezes it, smells it, chews it, blows a bubble, and spits it] Litter! [sees Squidward] Aha!
  • Squidward: [continues laughing] Bugs... litter... litter... bugs.
  • Officer John: Hey, you! Did you throw this gum away?
  • Squidward: Yes, I did! And I like to complain!
  • Officer John: Ah... So you admit that you're a litterbug?
  • Squidward: I do... What? No! No no, I just stepped in it!
  • Officer John: Oh, you sure did, buddy. You disgust me... [Puts the gum in Squidward's mouth and writes a ticket] Maybe this'll teach you not to treat the world as your own personal trash can!
  • Squidward: [mumbled] "Bikini Bottom P.D. Ticket for littering. Penalty: Community service"?!
  • [camera zooms to a park where the people are picking up trash]
  • Squidward: Stupid policeman, I'm no litter bug! [sees there's no more trash left] Hey! No more trash! Looks like I'm done!
  • [camera zooms out a little to show a thug fish]
  • Thug Fish: Here, you can have mine. [gives his trash to Squidward to clean up]
  • Squidward: [sighs] Can things get any worse?
  • Squilliam: Of course they can!
  • Squidward: Daagh! Squilliam Fancyson! My arch foe from band class!
  • Squilliam: Stuck doing community service, eh? Court ordered?
  • Squidward: No! I... um... I'm... volunteering! Yeah, I'm cleaning up Bikini Bottom, selflessly devoting my time to a worthy cause.
  • Squilliam: Oooh! Maybe if you clean up Bikini Bottom, they'll build a statue of you! Oh, wait! They've already built one... of me! [camera zooms out to show a statue of Squilliam with a trash stick and a trash bag] I cleaned up all of Bikini Bottom in one week.
  • Mable Monica: Bless you, Squilliam Fancyson! Bless you!
  • Squidward: [growls] Hmph! I'll clean up Bikini Bottom in a day!
  • Squilliam: Ooh! Let me help you out. [blows his nose on a tissue, drops it and clears his throat] There! That should get you started. Ta-ta! [leaves]
  • [Officer John walks by, growls when he sees the tissue and writes the second ticket for Squidward. Later, Squidward is picking up trash]
  • Squidward: Squilliam thinks he's sooo amazing! [picks trash] Phew! [wipes his forehead and sees that his trash bag is getting full] Hmmm, I've gotta find some place to dump this litter. [sees a trash can] Oh oh oh! Perfect! [opens it] Full! They're all full! How am I gonna hold all this...? [sees a kid with his wagon, thinks and trips him]
  • Taylor: Whoops!
  • [Squidward uses the wagon for keeping the trash and an old lady walks out]
  • Mabel: Oh! Is it trash day? I thought it was Tuesday!
  • Squidward: What? No!
  • Mabel: [puts her trash in the wagon] Hey everybody, it's trash day!
  • Other Fish: Trash day?! [they start putting their trash in the wagon]
  • Squidward: Hey! Hold on! Stop! I'm not the garbage man! [there's a lot of trash on the wagon] Help.
  • [a hand gets out of a bag, unties the string and out comes SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: I'll help you Squidward!
  • Squidward: Why are you in a trash bag?
  • SpongeBob: I wanted to study the complete life cycle of a Krabby Patty. [takes out a Krabby Patty] Tch-tch-tch, all alone. Poor guy. [jumps to the ground] I could get rid of your trash, Squidward!
  • Squidward: No thank you! I'll do it myself. [begins walking away while SpongeBob follows him]
  • SpongeBob: Please let me help!
  • Squidward: No.
  • SpongeBob: Please?
  • Squidward: No.
  • SpongeBob: Pretty please?
  • Squidward: No way!
  • SpongeBob: Pretty please with candy sprinkles on top?
  • Squidward: [stops walking] Listen closely, I don't need your help! I would rather be beaten to a pulp!
  • Taylor: That's him, mommy! That's the man who stole my wagon! Beat him to a pulp!
  • Taylor's mother: Hmmm!
  • SpongeBob: Hi, lady!
  • [The muscular mother beats up Squidward, dumps the trash on Squidward and leaves with her son and his wagon. The officer shakes his head in disapproval and writes third ticket for Squidward]
  • SpongeBob: Can I help you now?
  • Squidward: Alright! Fine! You can help me.
  • SpongeBob: [spins in a circle] Yay! [as he does this, trash comes flying out of his spot] Thank you, Squidward.
  • Squidward: Well... you gonna help me!?
  • SpongeBob: First, close your eyes!
  • Squidward: Why?
  • SpongeBob: C'mon!
  • Squidward: Fine! [closes his eyes] Now what?
  • SpongeBob: No peeking. [metallic noises are heard]
  • Squidward: Oh brother.
  • SpongeBob: Okay! You can open your eyes now!
  • Squidward: Oh this is so stuuuuuu... [sees that the trash has vanished] ...pid. It's gone! Where did you put the trash?
  • SpongeBob: [chuckles] I put it in...
  • Squidward: Know what? Don't care! The trash is gone. Thanks, SpongeBob. I hate you a little less now.
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, that... that's a beautiful thing to say!
  • [Squidward and SpongeBob walk to their houses]
  • Squidward: Well, I don't know how you did it, but thank you for getting rid of all that trash. They'll have that statue of me built in no time! [he enters his house which is made out of the trash where is junk kettle is steaming. He pours out junk into his junk cup. He drinks it and has some junk toast with junk butter. He then has a junky bath and starts to sleep in his junk bed. He then sniffs, realizes all the junk, then screams in terror while running out of the house made of garbage and gasps] My house!
  • Officer John: Is this yours?
  • Squidward: Yes.
  • Officer John: [gives Squidward his fourth ticket and leaves. The ticket falls down so he walks back] Tch-tch-tch, some people never learn. [gives Squidward his fifth ticket and he walks away. Squidward gets angry and his veins crunch up to form 'I AM ANGRY']
  • SpongeBob: I am angry? Squidward, why are you angry?
  • Squidward: [angrily pulls the ticket from his face. Calms down] SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Yes.
  • Squidward: What's this?
  • SpongeBob: Your garbage.
  • Squidward: Where's my house?
  • SpongeBob: On top of your garbage. [camera zooms out and shows Squidward's house] The dump was closed. [Squidward sighs] So I bought it here.
  • Squidward: [sighs again] How?
  • SpongeBob: Like this. [absorbs all of Squidward's garbage and Squidward gasps] Do you wanna try? [garbage falls out of his mouth]
  • Squidward: Of all the garbage that comes out of your mouth, this is the least annoying. [laughs and the officer comes and gives him the sixth ticket]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward... [more garbage falls from his mouth and the officer takes out his notepad and pencil]
  • Squidward: Wait! Wait! Zip it! I have an idea! [Squidward goes and comes back with a trash can] Here stand in this. [SpongeBob stands in the bin] See ya sucker! [laughs]
  • Officer John: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
  • Squidward: Neptune no!
  • Officer John: [sees the trash can belongs to SpongeBob] Uh-huh. Oh you got your kicks out of putting trash in other people's bins, eh? [gives Squidward seventh ticket. Squidward and SpongeBob walk through the streets]
  • Squidward: They were gonna build a statue of me! [starts bawling in despair]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, a statue, eh? [a few moments later, hammering and drilling noises are heard] Hey, Squidward! Look! [shows a blanket which has a figure under it]
  • Squidward: What is that?!
  • SpongeBob: Your very own statue!
  • Squidward: [gasps] Really?! [SpongeBob throws the cloak away to reveal a smelly statue of Squidward made out of the garbage that SpongeBob absorbed] Garbage. I'm made of garbage.
  • SpongeBob: You sure are!
  • Squilliam: [laughs] Great job, SpongeBob, you even captured his smell. The scent of failure! [the smell of Squidward's statue melts Squilliam's statue] My glorious statue!
  • Officer John: This is your statue?
  • Squilliam: It was. [the officer gives Squilliam a ticket]
  • Squidward: Ha! Thanks, SpongeBob!
  • [Officer John clears his throat to catch Squidward's attention and a can falls down from the statue. The officer gives Squidward and SpongeBob a ticket and the episode ends.]
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