Squidward: Another beautiful Sunday in Bikini Bottom. Nothing can ruin my good mood today!
[SpongeBob looks out of his window]
SpongeBob: Good morning Squidward!
Squidward:[walks by] Ignoring, ignoring! [cha chas down the street and steps on gum] Chewing gum!? That's disgusting! [pulls his foot away but the gum stays on his foot] Oh c'mon! [tries pulling it off with his hands but they get stuck, then tries both of them and his head gets stuck. Then uses head and hands but gets even more stuck. He then tries blowing it but it bursts and Squidward gets covered in gum. Tries to get it off again and it turns into a bow-tie and he gets it off] People who litter really bug me! [chucks it] Litterbugs [laughing] Litterbugs!
[gum ends up in front of an police officer, he picks it up, squeezes it, smells it, chews it, blows a bubble, and spits it]
Officer John: Hey you! Did you throw this gum away?
Squidward: Yes I did, and I like to complain
Officer John: Ah... So you admit that you are a litterbug?
Squidward: What? No! no no, I just stepped in it!
Officer John: Oh, you sure did buddy. You disgust me...[Puts the gum in Squidward's mouth and writes a ticket] Maybe this will teach you not to treat the world as your own personal trash can!
Squidward: Bikini Bottom P.D Ticket for littering. Penalty: COMMUNITY SERVICE!?
[camera zooms to a park where people are picking up trash]
Squidward: Stupid Policeman, I'm no litter bug! [sees there's no more trash left] Hey! No more trash! Looks like I'm done!
[camera zooms out a little to show a thug fish]
Thug Fish: Here, you can have mine. [gives his trash to Squidward to clean up]
Squidward:[sighs] Can things get any worse?
Squilliam: Of course they can!
Squidward: Daagh! Squilliam Fancyson! My arch foe from band class!
Squilliam: Stuck doing community service eh? Court ordered?
Squidward: No! I... um... er... volunteering! Yeah, I'm cleaning up Bikini Bottom, selflessly devoting my time to a worthy cause.
Squilliam: Oooh! Maybe if you clean up Bikini Bottom they'll build a statue of you! Oh wait! They've already built one... of me! [camera zooms out to show a statue of Squilliam with a trash stick and a trash bag] I cleaned up all of Bikini Bottom in one week.
Mable Monica: Bless you Squilliam Fancyson! Bless you!
Squidward:[growls] Hmph! I'll clean up Bikini Bottom in a day!
Squilliam: Ooh! Let me help you out [sneezes on a tissue and drops it] There! That should get you started. Tah-tah!
[Officer John walks by,sees the tissue and writes another ticket for Squidward. Squidward is at the main road]
Squidward: Squilliam thinks he sooo amazing! [picks trash] Phew! [wipes his forehead and sees that his trash bag is getting full] Hmmm,I've gotta find some place to dump this litter. [sees a trash can] Oh oh oh! Perfect! [opens it] Full! There' all full! How am I gonna hold all this... [sees a kid with his wagon, thinks and trips him]
[Squidward uses the wagon for keeping the trash and an old lady walks out]
Mabel: Oh is it trash day? I thought it was Tuesday!
Squidward: What? No!
Mabel:[puts her trash in the wagon] Hey everybody, it's trash day!
Other Fish: TRASH DAY!? [they start putting their trash in the wagon]
Squidward: Hey! Hold on! Stop! I'm not the garbage man! [there's a lot of trash on the wagon] Help.
[a hand gets out of a bag, unties the string and out comes SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: I'll help you Squidward!
Squidward: Why are you in a trash bag?
SpongeBob: I wanted to study the complete life cycle of a Krabby Patty [takes out a Krabby Patty] tch-tch-tch, all alone. Poor guy. [jumps to the ground] I could get rid of your trash Squidward!
Squidward: No thank you! I'll do it myself.
SpongeBob: Please let me help!
SpongeBob: Pretty please?
Squidward: No way!
SpongeBob: Pretty please with candy sprinkles on top?
Squidward: Listen closely, I don't need your help! I would rather be beaten to a pulp!
Taylor: That's him mommy! That's the man who stole my wagon! Beat him to a pulp!
SpongeBob: Hi lady!
[the muscular mother beats up Squidward, dumps the trash on Squidward and leaves with her son and his wagon. The officer passes by and writes another ticket for Squidward]
SpongeBob: Can I help you now?
Squidward: Alright! Fine! You can help me.
SpongeBob: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Thank you Squidward.
Squidward: Well... you gonna help me!?
SpongeBob: First, close your eyeees!
Squidward: Fine! [closes his eyes] Now what?
SpongeBob: No peeking.
Squidward: Oh brother.
SpongeBob: Ok! You can open your eyes now!
Squidward: Oh this is so stuuuuuu... [sees that the trash has vanished] ...pid. It's gone! Where did you put the trash?
SpongeBob:[chuckles] I put it in...
Squidward: Know what? Don't care! The trash is gone. Thanks SpongeBob I hate you a little less now.
SpongeBob: Squidward that... that's a beautiful thing to say!
[Squidward and SpongeBob walk to their houses]
Squidward: Well I don't know how you did it but thank you for getting rid of all that trash. They'll have that statue of me built in no time! [he enters his house which is made out of the trash where is junk kettle is steaming. He pours out nails and bolts into his junk cup. He drinks it and has some junk toast with junk butter. He then has a junky bath and starts to sleep in his junk bed. He then sniffs, realizes all the junk, then screams while running out of the house and gasps] My house!
Officer John: Is this yours?
[Officer John gives Squidward his fourth ticket. The ticket falls down and the police gives him his fifth ticket]
Officer John: tch-tch-tch, some people never learn [walks away. Squidward's veins crunch up to form 'I AM ANGRY']
SpongeBob: I am angry? Squidward why are you angry?
Squidward: SpongeBob. what's this?
SpongeBob: Your garbage.
Squidward: Where's my house?
SpongeBob: On top of your garbage. [camera zooms out and shows Squidward's house] The dump was closed. [Squidward sighs] So I bought it here.
Squidward:[sighs again] How?
SpongeBob: Like this. [absorbs all of Squidward's garbage and Squidward gasps] Do you wanna try? [garbage falls out of his mouth]
Squidward: Of all the garbage that comes out of your mouth,this is the least annoying. [laughs and the officer comes and gives him another ticket]
SpongeBob: Hey Squidward... [more garbage falls from his mouth and the officer takes out his notepad and pencil]
Squidward: Wait! Zip it! I have an idea! [Squidward goes and comes back with a trash can] Here stand in this. [SpongeBob stands in the bin] See ya sucker! [laughs]
Officer John: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
Squidward: Neptune no!
Officer John:[sees the trash can belongs to SpongeBob] So you have the kicks to put your trash in other people's bins eh? [gives Squidward another ticket. Squidward and SpongeBob walk through the streets]
Squidward: The were gonna make statue of me! [cries]
SpongeBob: Oh a statue eh? Hey Squidward! Look! [shows a blanket which has a figure under it]
Squidward: What is that?!
SpongeBob: Your very own statue!
Squidward: Really?! [SpongeBob throws the cloak away to reveal a smelly statue of Squidward made out of garbage] Garbage. I'm made of garbage
SpongeBob: You sure are!
Squilliam:[laughs] Great job SpongeBob, you even captured his smell. The scent of failure. [the smell melts Squilliam's statue] My glorious statue!
Officer John: This is your statue?
Squilliam: It was.
[the officer gives Squilliam a ticket]
Squidward: Hhhhhha! Thanks SpongeBob!
[Officer John coughs to catch Squidward's attention and a can falls down from the statue. The officer gives Squidward and SpongeBob a ticket]