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Jailbreak! (transcript)

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Transcript Information
S09E06A-Jailbreak!-Titlecard
General
Season №: 9
Episode №: 184a
Airdate: March 16, 2013
Chronology
Previous: Squid Defense
Next: Evil Spatula
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Jailbreak!" from season nine, which aired on March 16, 2013.

  • [Episode opens at Bikini Bottom Jail]
  • Narrator: Bikini Bottom Prison. Home of the worst of the worst and currently of that little miscreant Plankton. Otherwise known as number 6-5-5-3-2-1.
  • Prison Guard 1: All inmates to A-level! [All of the prisoners leave their cells. Then taps on Plankton's cell] Come on number 6-5-5-3-2-1! Let's move it!
  • Plankton: [Leaving his cell] Yeah, yeah! Keep your shirt on!
  • SpongeBob: Psst! Hey, Sheldon!
  • Plankton: SPONGEBOB!? What in the sea shell are you doing here!?
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs arranged for me to work here on weekends. He wants me to keep an eye on you!
  • Plankton: Excuse me. Doesn't this count as "cruel and unusual punishment"?
  • Prison Guard 1: Pipe down pipsqueak!
  • SpongeBob: [Takes out a toy baton] Look! They even gave me a training baton! [Keeps Taping Plankton with it]
  • [Bubble transition to the talking room]
  • SpongeBob: [Talking to Karen from the other side] Hi Karen! [Karen sends a cake over to the side and SpongeBob lifts up Plankton] Look Plankton! Karen came to visit and she brought you a cake! [Unlocks Plankton from his cuff]
  • Plankton: Do you mind?
  • SpongeBob: Oh uh, I'll be right over here. [Walks away]
  • Plankton: So honey? Is "you know what" inside?
  • Karen: You mean flour, sugar, milk, and eggs?
  • Plankton: NO! Uh, no. The "secret ingredient."
  • Karen: Oh, you mean love?
  • Plankton: I mean the file?
  • Karen: What!? The file? Well I'm glad you're not the baker in the family! The file! Who'd put a file in a cake?
  • Plankton: [Flips the cake and tries to jump over the glass] Karen, you got to get me out of here! [SpongeBob grabs him]
  • [Bubble transition to the cafeteria]
  • Plankton: [Puts his tray on the table] Phew...
  • Purple Cellmate: You gonna eat that? 
  • Plankton: I'm not even sure what "that" is...
  • Purple Cellmate: Thanks! [Uses his fork to eat some of Plankton's food]
  • Plankton: Wait a second! I didn't say you could-
  • Reggie: [Takes Plankton's milk carton] You gonna drink that? Thanks!
  • Plankton: [Grabs onto the milk carton] Hey! I need that! For my bones! [Screams and falls onto his food]
  • SpongeBob: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Someone didn't finish their beans!
  • Light Blue Cellmate: That's my beans.
  • SpongeBob: Oh. Well, enjoy! [Walks off]
  • Plankton: [Gets lifted up on the Light Blue Cellmate's spoon] Wait! Put me down! [Gets carried over to the Light Blue Cellmate's mouth] Uh oh...[Gets put in his mouth] You can't eat me! I'm Bikini Bottom's most evil genius! 
  • Purple Cellmate: Hey! What did you say?
  • Plankton: [From inside the Light Blue Cellmate's mouth] I say I'm Plankton blast it!
  • Purple Cellmate: You ain't Plankton! [Grabs onto the Light Blue Cellmate's shirt and Light Blue Cellmate swallows] We're all big fans of that maniacal little miscreant! [All of the other Cellmates start yelling and the Purple Cellmate shows the Light Blue Cellmate his tattoo of Plankton] THAT'S Plankton! And you don't look anything like him!
  • Plankton: [From the Light Blue Cellmate's stomach] Hey! I'm in here! I'm Plankton!
  • Purple Cellmate: Ok! That does it! Here comes the pain! [Slowly is about to punch the Light Blue Cellmate with jet engine sound effects]
  • Plankton: Are we at the airport? [Gets launched outside, lands on the wall, and a file hits him on the mouth and falls to the ground. The other cellmates begin beating up the Light Blue Cellmate] Ahem! HEY! Gather 'round fellow convicts! It is I: the one and only Sheldon J. Plankton, evil genius!
  • Plankton's Cellmates: Gasp! It's him! It's him!
  • Plankton: Now let me get this straight, you low-lives respect me?
  • Purple Cellmate: Are you kidding? You're criminal royalty! Every crime you committed is more dangerous than the last!
  • Reggie: You're the worst guy in the joint! And that means you're the greatest in our twisted eyes!
  • Purple Cellmate: We'd do anything for you big guy!
  • Plankton: [Laughs evilly] With this pack of criminals, I can steal the Secret Formula like that!
  • [Bubble transition to outside]
  • Plankton: Ok gang! We need to bust out of this joint! Any thoughts? [Plankton's Cellmates begin thinking]
  • Light Blue Cellmate: We could wait for parole.
  • Brown Cellmate: We could ask them nicely.
  • Plankton: Yeah, I can see why you're still in jail. THINK, people! We need a plan!
  • Whale Cellmate: We could bust out of here in no time! If only we had some Chum!
  • Purple Cellmate: Yeah! Chum!
  • Light Blue Cellmate: That's what we need!
  • Plankton: Yeah! Good old chum. Say what now?
  • Whale Cellmate: Chum's amazing!
  • Brown Cellmate: That's why you're our hero!
  • Reggie: You're the creator of chum!
  • Plankton: Chum? What use is chum?
  • Purple Cellmate: It makes a great disguise! [Flashback to a Grab-it Mart. Takes out chum in a bucket and puts it on his face] It's working! It's twisting my appearance! [Heads inside]
  • Cashier: AHHHH! What a hideous monster! [Opens cash register and takes out a lot of money] Please take this money so I don't have to look at your disgusting features!
  • Purple Cellmate: [His face resembles Squidwards and even laughs like him. The flashback ends] Yeah! Works great till, you know, they caught me.
  • Plankton: You ever tried eating it?
  • Purple Cellmate: Ah heavens no! 
  • Light Blue Cellmate: You know what else chum is great for? Robbing banks! [Flashback to him sneaking to a Bank. He throws a bucket of chum inside and it explodes causing smoke to fog up the room. He then leaves with bags of money and the flashback ends] Yeah! The stench of chum is unbearable!
  • Plankton: But have you tried it on a bun?
  • Light Blue Cellmate: No way brother, never! I like my tongue in one piece.
  • Whale Cellmate: Every crook in town uses chum.
  • Plankton: Really? Maybe I overlooked chum's hidden potential! Fellow ne'r-do-wells: If its chum you want its chum you shall have! Luckily, I happen to know the recipe! IT'S TIME FOR A JAILBREAK!!! [All the rest of his Cellmates cheer]
  • [Bubble transition to Plankton's jail cell]
  • Plankton: Listen up reprobates! Chum requires specialized ingredients of the highest quality!
  • Light Blue Cellmate: Mr. Plankton? [Takes out a stinky sock] Does this meet your rigid, manufacturing standards?
  • Plankton: Hmm...you there! [Points to the Purple Cellmate] Sniff this sock! [The Purple Cellmate smells the sock and passes out] Yes...let us begin! Cultured fungus growth medium!
  • Light Blue Cellmate: Here you go boss! [Puts the old sock in the toilet]
  • Plankton: Subtropical, vegetal matter!
  • Purple Cellmate: Eh, right here! [Drops a banana peel in the toilet]
  • Plankton: Organic filler.
  • Reggie: Gotcha covered! [Drops a bucket of trash into the toilet]
  • Plankton: Hey you! [Reggie walks over and Plankton takes out a napkin] Blow. [Reggie blows on the napkin] Live bacterial culture. [Puts the used napkin into the toilet] Now, to secure the containment vessel. [Kicks the toilet lid close] Agitate primarily compound! [Flushes the toilet] And quality inspection! [A Cellmate opens the lid and the rest of the Cellmates are in awe by the creation] Ok boys! I think it's time we evacuated this institution! 
  • Plankton's Cellmates: Huh?
  • Plankton: Sigh. IT'S TIME TO BREAK OUT OF PRISON, YOU DOPES!!!
  • Plankton's Cellmates: Oh...
  • SpongeBob: A jailbreak!? I got to warn Mr. Krabs! [Runs off]
  • [Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: [Painting a dollar] Not bad. If only I could paint him smaller.
  • SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!!
  • Mr. Krabs: Ahhhhhhh! [messes art] What is it!?
  • SpongeBob: Plankton is breaking out of jail tonight! And he's coming to the Krusty Krab with a bunch of criminals to steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula! [*Pants*] What do we do?
  • Mr. Krabs: Tonight eh? That doesn't leave me much time! This is gonna be close, but we'll be ready for them! 
  • [Bubble transition back to Bikini Bottom Prison]
  • Prison Guard 1: [Walks over and sees the Purple Cellmate and Reggie] Woah-ho-oh there! Why are you two out of your cells?
  • Purple Cellmate: [Holding a napkin] Reggie thinks this hankey smells like Kelp Berries!
  • Prison Guard 1: Oh he does, does he? I'll be the judge of that. [Smells the napkin and passes out. The Purple Cellmate drags him inside. Plankton and the rest of his Cellmates walk outside]
  • Plankton: Chum! [A Cellmate hands him chum] Detonator! [A Cellmate hands him a bar of soap with wires in it] Is this detonator made out of soap?
  • Whale Cellmate: I carved it myself!
  • Plankton: Launch me! [The Whale Cellmate picks him up and launches him over to the other side of the jail wall. Then he places the detonator on the wall and attempts to run away]
  • Prison Guard 2: Freeze Plankton! Hold it right there!
  • Plankton: [Near the detonator as it is about to go off] Uh oh...[The detonator explodes leaving a large crater on the wall] It worked! 
  • Prison Guard 1: It's a jailbreak men! Quick! To the wall! Before they escape!
  • Prison Guards: Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! [They begin plugging up the wall with their bodies] Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
  • Plankton: What in the name of electrolysis!?
  • Prison Guards 1: Nice try prisoners! But you'll never penetrate a wall of living guards! Let's round up those escaping miscreants! [Tries to move] Oh dear! I cannot move! It appears we have become ensnared in our own defenses! 
  • Plankton: Oh my! That is a dilly of a pickle! Oh well, if you cannot escape through the back wall, I guess we have to leave through the front door! [He and the rest of his Cellmates leave through the front gate] Quickly my fellow felonons! FOLLOW ME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB!!! [His Cellmates all cheer]
  • SpongeBob: Oh Mr. Krabs! They're almost here! 
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't worry SpongeBob! We're ready for 'em!
  • Plankton: I gave you your freedom, now bring me the Krabby Patty Formula!
  • Plankton's Cellmates: [The all use the Whale Cellmate as a battering ram to bash at the door] Heave-ho! Heave-ho! [They break into the Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: They got past me! [Screams] Me restaurant!
  • Plankton: Yes! With my new gang of vicious convicts, you're no match for me now Krabs! Fellow jailbirds, bring me the Krabby Patty formula! 
  • Whale Cellmate: Sorry boss. We've looked everywhere for it but we can't find it!
  • Plankton: Did you tried looking in the safe?
  • Whale Cellmate: Oh. [Pulls open the door to the safe]
  • Plankton: EUREKA! [Laughs evilly]
  • Mr. Krabs: Plankton! Don't do it!
  • Plankton: Sorry Krabs! Nothing can stop me now! [Attempts to get the "formula" but it is pulled up]
  • Policeman: Except the law! [Exits the safe along with a bunch other policemen]
  • Plankton: What's happening!?
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob warned me you're planning a jailbreak so I took the precaution of hiding the entire Bikini Bottom Police Force in me safe!
  • Policeman: [Taping Plankton with his baton] Come along, Plankton. It's back to jail for you!
  • Plankton: [*Groan*] Hey! Watch where you're pointing that thing buster!
  • Policeman: [Taps Plankton again] Just move along.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, thanks to your hard work, the Krabby Patty recipe is safe!
  • SpongeBob: And you win again! [The Krusty Krab breaks down]
  • Mr. Krabs: Yep! I'm a winner!

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