"Idiot Friends " is a song from the Season 5 episode "Pest of the West ." SpongeBuck SquarePants and Pecos Patrick (referred to by SpongeBuck as "This Guy") sing it at The Krusty Kantina accompanied by Hopalong Tentacles on the piano.
Lyrics
SpongeBuck: Hey, everybody! It's good to be here at the Krusty Kantina! We got a real special show for y'all tonight featuring my new best pal, This guy! He's an idiot.
[The audience cheers]
Pecos Patrick: So what're we gonna sing about, SpongeBuck?
SpongeBuck: We're gonna sing a song about friends.
Pecos Patrick: What kind of friends, SpongeBuck?
SpongeBuck: Well, listen up and I'll tell you.
[Piano vamps]
SpongeBuck: Who's there for you, when you are sad and down?
Pecos Patrick: Hey! (Buffalo Skulls : Idiot friends! )
Who picks you up and smacks you all around? (Buffalo Skulls : Idiot friends! )
SpongeBuck: Who puts thorns in you, so you can save the town?
Pecos Patrick: Idiot friends, idiot friends...
SpongeBuck, Pecos Patrick, Buffalo Skulls: Idiot friends!
Pecos Patrick: Duh, duh duh duh, doo duh doo doh doh...
SpongeBuck, Pecos Patrick, Buffalo Skulls: Idiot friends!
Pecos Patrick: Duh dee duh duh, doo, duh duh duh...
SpongeBuck, Pecos Patrick, Buffalo Skulls: Idiot friends!
Pecos Patrick: Dee duh duh, duh dooh dooh, duh doh!
You know, SpongeBuck, all we been a-doin' is singin' about what I've done for you. Well, what have you done for me?
[Dead Eye Plankton drops Pecos Patrick's pants and laughs]
SpongeBuck: Who helps you pick your pants up off the ground?
Pecos Patrick: Thanks, buddy.
Dead Eye Plankton: Curses!
Pecos Patrick: Only an idiot friend would do that!
SpongeBuck: Let's bring it home, idiot friend!
Pecos Patrick: Okay!
SpongeBuck: Who lets you ride on his coffin?
Pecos Patrick: Who slaps you hard and often?
SpongeBuck: What do you and me have in common?
SpongeBuck and Pecos Patrick: We're iiiiiiiiiiiiiii-di-oooooott...
Frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnds!
[the audience cheers]
SpongeBuck: Thank you, thank you very much!
Trivia
This is the only SpongeBob song to be used as an epilogue.
Music (V • T • E )
Original Theme Highlights • The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie • The Yellow Album • The Best Day Ever • The Sponge Who Could Fly • SpongeBob's Greatest Hits • It's a SpongeBob Christmas! • Music from The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water • The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water • SpongeBob SquarePants: The New Musical • The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) • The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run (Music from the Motion Picture)
Theme Song • A Day Like This • Ahhhh • All You Need Is Friends to Fly • The Alphabet Song • Back in Encino • Barnacles! • Beats by Bob • Beautiful Dreamer • Bee Line for the Tree Line • The Best Day Ever • Bikini Bottom • Bikini Bottom - Rock Bottom • Bossy Boots • Bubble Song • Camp Fire Song Song • Christmas Eve Jitters • Christmas Is Mine • Clarinet Wizard • Dead Eye • Doing the Sponge • Doin' the Krabby Patty • Dear Friend • Don't Be a Jerk • Down the Well • Electric Zoo • Everybody Loves the Sponge • Everything Juice • Employee of the Month • Feeding Frenzy • Feeling of Greed • Fishin' for Money • Frozen Krabby Patty Song • Fueling the Bus • F.U.N. Song • Gary's Song • Give It All You Got • Give Jellyfish Fields a Chance • Gloves • Goober Rag • Good-Bye, Atlantis • Goofy Goober Rock • Goofy Goober Song • Gratitude • This Grill is Not a Home • He's Flying • He's Our Mermaid Man • Hey All You People • Hey, Mean Mr. Bossman • High Tide Time • Ho Ho Hoedown • Hot Fruitcake • I Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You • I Hate People • Idiot Friends • If I Could Talk to Money • I Love Krabby Patties • If Only I Could Join You • The Jellyfishing Song • Just a Kid • Krabby Patty Jingle (song) • Kung Fu Rock • The Krusty Krab Pizza • Let's Be Dumb • Livin' in the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moonlight • Loop de Loop • Meatball, Meatball • Mr. Krabs' song • Musical Doodle • My Leg Is In Love! • My Tighty Whiteys • Never Give Up • Now That We're Men • Ocean Man • Oh, Krusty Krab • Oh, My Karen • Pets Are People Too • Plankton's Song • Patrick Star • Pretty Ribbons and Bows • Prehibernation (song) • Prince Paul's Bubble Party • Plankton Jams the Signal • Ridin' the Hook • Ripped Pants • Rubber Hose Rag • Rap Battle • The Road Song • Sad Song • Sandy's song • Sailing Over The Dogger Bank • Santa Has His Eye on Me • Santa Won't Let You Down • Snowflakes • So Long, Bikini Bottom • SpongeBob and Patrick Confront the Psychic Wall of Energy • The SpongeBob History Song • Squidward's Song • Squidward's Tiki Land • Squeeze Me • Superior • Surreptitiously Mine • Surfin' Summer • Sandy Squirrel • Squidward's Back • The Suction Cup Symphony • Sweater Song • Sweet Victory • Tag, You're It • That's a Rodeo • Thank Gosh It's Monday • Two Thumbs Down • Teamwork • The Patrick Song • Together • They'll Soon Discover • Truth or Square Theme Songs • Texas • That's What Friends Do • The Tuneful Tuna's Advice • Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star • Under My Rock • Underwater Sun • The Very First Christmas • We've Got Scurvy • When Worlds Collide • Where's Gary • We're the Ghouls of the Briny Deep • Wet, Wet Christmas • Who Am I? • Who Wants to Race Me? • You Will Obey! • You Better Swim • You're Old
Short songs • Production music • Original music