Idiot Friends
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Idiot Friends is a song from Pest of the West. SpongeBuck and Pecos Patrick (referred to by SpongeBuck as "This Guy") sing it at The Krusty Kantina accompanied by Hopalong Squidward on the player piano.
Lyrics
- SpongeBuck:
- Hey, everybody! It's good to be here at the Krusty Kantina! We got a real special show for y'all tonight featuring my new best pal, This Guy! He's an idiot.
- [The audience cheers]
- Pecos Patrick:
- So what're we gonna sing about, SpongeBuck?
- SpongeBuck:
- We're gonna sing a song about friends.
- Pecos Patrick:
- What kind of friends, SpongeBuck?
- SpongeBuck:
- Well, listen up and I'll tell ya.
- [Piano vamps]
- SpongeBuck:
- Who's there for you
- When you are sad and down?
- Pecos Patrick:
- Hey!
- Buffalo Skulls:
- Idiot friends!
- Pecos Patrick:
- Who picks you up
- And smacks you all around?
- Buffalo Skulls:
- Idiot friends!
- SpongeBuck:
- Who puts thorns in you
- So you can save the town?
- Pecos Patrick:
- Idiot friends, idiot friends...
- SpongeBuck, Pecos Patrick, Buffalo Skulls:
- Idiot friends!
- Pecos Patrick:
- Duh, duh duh duh, doo duh doh doh...
- SpongeBuck, Pecos Patrick, Buffalo Skulls:
- Idiot friends!
- Pecos Patrick:
- Duh dee duh duh, doo, duh duh duh...
- SpongeBuck, Pecos Patrick, Buffalo Skulls:
- Idiot friends!
- Pecos Patrick:
- Dee duh duh, duhdoo doh, duh doh!
- You know, SpongeBuck, all we been a-doin' is singin' about what I've done for you. Well, what have you done for me?
- [Dead Eye Plankton drops Pecos Patrick's pants and laughs]
- SpongeBuck:
- Who helps you pick
- Your pants up off the ground?
- Pecos Patrick:
- Thanks, buddy.
- Dead Eye Plankton:
- Curses!
- Pecos Patrick:
- Only an idiot friend would do that!
- SpongeBuck:
- Let's bring it home, idiot friend!
- Pecos Patrick:
- Okay!
- SpongeBuck:
- Who'll let you ride
- On his coffin?
- Pecos Patrick:
- Who slaps you
- Hard and often?
- SpongeBuck:
- What do you and me
- Have in common?
- SpongeBuck and Pecos Patrick:
- We're iiiiiiiiiiiiiii-di-oooooottttt...
- Frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnds!
- [the audience cheers]
- SpongeBuck:
- Thank you, thank you very much!
