"I Wrote This" (A.K.A. "Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star") is a poem and a song written by Luke Brookshier and Tom King. It was performed by Eban Schletter. It was used in the episode "Sing a Song of Patrick." Fictionally, it was written by Patrick Star and made into a song by Bigshot Records for $100. The singers died afterward finishing the song and everyone, (except Old Man Jenkins, SpongeBob and some others), finds the song horrible and irritating. As a result, the citizens form an angry mob with pitch forks and torches.
Twinkle, twinkle, Patrick Star!
I made myself a sandwich,
My mommy named it Fred.
It tastes like beans and bacon
And smells like it's been dead.
Writing stuff is hard so I use a pointy pencil,
Pointy pointy pointy, pointy pointy point!
P.U., what's that horrible smell?!
I have a head, that ends in a point,
Pointy pointy pointy, pointy pointy point.
This song is over, except for this line,
You win this round, broccoli!
Overall, the verse about the sandwich is the only part of the song that rhymes.
When the song lyrics goes, "My mommy named it Fred," the DVD closed-captions say "My mommy made the bread."
This is Patrick's first written song in the series.