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House Sittin' For Sandy
Season №: 8
Episode №: 165a
Airdate: September 30, 2011
Previous: "Pet Sitter Pat"
Next: "Smoothe Jazz at Bikini Bottom"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "House Sittin' for Sandy" from season eight, which aired on September 30, 2011.

  • [the episode opens with the outside of SpongeBob's house, cut to the inside of the pineapple and we see Spongebob sleeping, his foghorn alarm clock goes off, SpongeBob and Gary wake up]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Good morning to you too, Gary. Help yourself to some breakfast kibble while I make ready for my day at the Krusty Krab. [gets out of bed while Gary just looks at him, SpongeBob takes off his pajama hat and places it on the coat rack, we see Gary standing in his path]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Finished your breakfast already, Gare? You always were a good little eater. [bursts open the kitchen door dressed]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: We can play fetch when I get home, Gary. Right now Mr. Krabs needs me. There's leftovers in the fridge if you get... [is about to walk outside and opens the door to find Gary stuck to the outside]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: AAAAHHHHH! Gary, what has gotten into you? Is there something important that you'd like to tell me? [Gary holds up a calendar showing that it's Sunday the 26nd. He points to it] Aaaaaah!! Today is Sunday?! But that means...
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah. That's exactly right, Gare-bear. I can't go to work today. [takes off his hat] The Krusty Krab is closed on Sundays. [gets back in bed] Gee, Gary, I was really looking forward to work. Now what purpose could today possibly have? [phone rings] Yeah, Mr. Krabs, did you me to come into work today? Oh. Hi, Sandy. Yeah... No... No, just me and Gary... No. I don't know yet... No, I'm not sick... You... need... a house-sitter?! Today?!
  • Sandy: That's right, SpongeBob. I know it's last minute, but...
  • SpongeBob: [at her house, still on the phone, not wearing his helmet] I would love to. [Sandy looks at her phone puzzled. Scene cuts to Sandy's treedome]
  • Sandy: Okay, SpongeBob, my treedome is a highly technical facility and there are many facets to its operation. [SpongeBob is staring at her] SpongeBob, are you getting all this?
  • SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
  • Sandy: Here's a comprehensive list of "do"s and "don't"s to follow. [gives SpongeBob the list]
  • SpongeBob: Well, this looks easy to remember. It's just a little black smudge.
  • Sandy: [chuckles] That's to save paper. You'll need this special reading scope. [holds up the reading scope. SpongeBob takes it from her. He looks through it and sees the list clearer with lots of don't's]
  • SpongeBob: Oh.
  • Sandy: Now pay attention as I clue you in on some of your more elaborate responsibilities. This majestic structure is my kelp greenhouse. Its functions are complete automated, so all you have to do...
  • SpongeBob: Wow...!
  • Sandy: check this thermometer right here and make sure the temperature is normal. [SpongeBob takes down notes]
  • SpongeBob: "Nor... mal." Got it. [him and Sandy are at a garage door opening]
  • Sandy: And this is the robot warehouse. It's where I keep all my robots.
  • SpongeBob: That stands to reason.
  • Sandy: This part's easy. All's you gotta do is come in here and count every single one of these robots and make sure none of them's gone missing. [SpongeBob takes down notes again. Scene cuts to him and Sandy walking] You seem to be doing a good job paying attention, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: I respect your meticulous nature.
  • Sandy: [blushes] Oh! Why, thank you, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: [concerned] What's next on the list?
  • Sandy: This here is my worm incubator. They're not set to hatch for weeks, but I just thought I'd show it to you anyway. [SpongeBob takes down notes again. Scene cuts to him and Sandy at a shelf] And last but not least is my collection of rare and fragile artifacts that has to be cleaned twice daily. Now are you sure you can handle all that, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: Trust me, Sandy. You've got nothing to worry about. Your beloved treedome is in my capable hands.
  • Sandy: Are you sure?
  • SpongeBob: Yep.
  • Sandy: Are you really sure?
  • SpongeBob: Really sure.
  • Sandy: Okay. [Scene cuts to her going on her bus to Texas. The bus drives away. SpongeBob looks at the list and goes into the kelp greenhouse. He closes the door. He checks the temperature]
  • SpongeBob: [taking down notes] Normal. [he then goes in the robot warehouse. He is counting the robots] 2,692... [He is wearing a hat. He types the something down on a gadget. The gadget takes out some paper with the words on it] 2,693... [types something again and the gadget takes out more paper] 2,694... [types something again but he types to much causing the gadget to take out lots of paper. He starts laughing. Suddenly, the gadget goes on fire and so does the paper then it disintegrates. SpongeBob leaves. Scene cuts to him wearing a dress while dusting Sandy's artifacts] Sandy said this collection of rare fragile artifacts needs to be gently cleaned twice daily. There we go. Not a speck of dust anywhere. Wait a minute. [turns a skull head around and spots a dot on it] Aha! [takes a feather off the duster and dusts the dot off] There... we go. [Scene cuts to SpongeBob checking the worm incubator] Worm incubator. Well, looks like everything's fine here. [there is a squishing sound] What the...? [a worm starts to hatch] Ohhh!! Sandy said these wouldn't hatch for... [checks the list] ...weeks! What is going on?! [Patrick's head pops up] Oh! Patrick? [Patrick pops out of the hole wearing his helmet]
  • Patrick: SpongeBob! There you are!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, what a relief. I thought you were a horrible mutant worm who was about to soak me with digestive juices and slowly consume me over a period of weeks.
  • Patrick: Nah, no, thanks. I had a late breakfast.
  • SpongeBob: Why are you wearing that funny thing on your head?
  • Patrick: Well, because we can't breathe in Sandy's treedome, remember? It's filled with air.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me. I almost for... [dries up and starts gasping for water] P-P-P-Patrick! Help me! I-I can't b-b-b-breathe! [Patrick puts a water helmet on SpongeBob's head]
  • Patrick: There you go. [SpongeBob inhales and exhales]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks, Patrick. You're a life-saver. Now that I haven't suffocated, it's high time I got back to this list of house-sitting duties. So without further ado, Patrick, [opens the door] I'd like you to please immediately exit the treedome.
  • Patrick: E-Exit the... Exit the treedome?!
  • SpongeBob: That's right. Exit the tree...
  • Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, that's a great idea! Where should we go—Jellyfish Fields, Goo Lagoon, Barg'N-Mart, Lucky Larry's?
  • SpongeBob: Well, Lucky Larry's sounds fun.
  • Patrick: All right, let's go!
  • SpongeBob: Hold it! I promised Sandy I'd take extra-special care of her treedome while she's at the Inventor's Convention today. And that is exactly what I intend to do. Patrick, this is a major responsibility.
  • Patrick: Well, in that case, I'd better stay and help you.
  • SpongeBob: Nnnnope.
  • Patrick: Pleeease?
  • SpongeBob: Not gonna happen.
  • Patrick: Pretty please?
  • SpongeBob: No way.
  • Patrick: Pretty please with a scoop of vanilla ice cream?
  • SpongeBob: [scoffs] Yeah, right.
  • Patrick: Pretty please with a scoop of strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream, smothered in gooberberry sauce and topped with half a can of whipped topping?
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, what do you take me for?
  • Patrick: AND A SCOOP OF NUTS!!
  • SpongeBob: Deal.
  • Patrick: [jumps with joy] Hooray!
  • SpongeBob: But you have to promise not to touch anything.
  • Patrick: [raises his left hand] I, Patrick Star, hereby promise not to touch anything.
  • SpongeBob: Okay. Now, let's check the list to see what's nex... [alarmed] PATRICK! [Patrick is chomping on Sandy's artifact shelf. SpongeBob runs over to him] Patrick, no!! You promised me you weren't gonna touch anything.
  • Patrick: [pits water helment back on] I wasn't touching anything!
  • SpongeBob: Then what were you just doing to Sandy's collection of rare and fragile artifacts?!
  • Patrick: Um... Tasting it.
  • SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, I insist. From now on, you must stick to me as closely as possible. Do I make myself perfectly clear? [Patrick doesn't answer] Patrick, I said, do I make myself perf... Patrick! Patrick? [turns to see 'Patrick sitting on his back]
  • Patrick: Is this close enough?
  • [Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick under Sandy's tree]
  • SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, tell me again what it is you're gonna do.
  • Patrick: Not... touch anything.
  • SpongeBob: Mm-hmm. What else.
  • Patrick: Not do anything.
  • SpongeBob: And
  • Patrick: Not... look at anything.
  • SpongeBob: Until when? Until...?
  • Patrick: Until... SpongeBob is done house sitting.
  • SpongeBob: [pats Patrick's head] Good boy, Patrick!
  • (Patrick once again nearly touches sandy's gadgets)
  • SpongeBob: Patrick how many times do I have to---
  • (SpongeBob drops a flask on the floor and it rolls into the robot warehouse. the robots get released and completey destroy Sandy's treedome.)
  • Patrick: It wasn't me!
  • SpongeBob: Well I I guess I can't handle it after all I I'm a failure. (SpongeBob cries)
  • Patrick: Hey buddy, it's not as bad as it seems.
  • SpongeBob: Oh yeah, what makes you say that?
  • Patrick: Well, not everything is broken.
  • SpongeBob: (cries until Sandy came back) (gasps) Sa..S...S..San....Sandy? (Sandy walks in shocked by the destruction) How was the inventors convention?
  • Patrick: Did you bring back any souvenirs?
  • Sandy: Funny, y'all should ask that.
  • SpongeBob: It is?
  • Sandy: Yep. I brought home something real handy.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: (gasps)
  • Sandy: And i'm setting it to maximum power.
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, this is it, our final goodbye.
  • SpongeBob I never thought I go out like this.
  • Patrick: At a handsome squirrel?
  • SpongeBob No, with a fishbowl on my head.
  • (Sandy fires the laser and it restores her treedome just the way it was)
  • Sandy: Eureka, it worked! The experiment is a success.
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Experiment?
  • Sandy: That's right boys. I wanted you to destroy my home all along so I can test this out this here rubble reverse ray blaster on some genuine rubble. I could've just smashed all this stuff up myself, but nobody destroys stuff up quite like y'all. You're not a failure SpongeBob, you're a scientist. (SpongeBob and Patrick laughing)
  • Patrick: Hooray!
  • SpongeBob: Hooray!
  • (flask in SpongeBob's hand drops and starts rolling towards the robot warehouse)
  • SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy: Uh-oh! 
  • (robots from the warehouse become free again and robots start destroying the treedome again)
  • Patrick: It wasn't me.
  • Sandy: Quit your worryin', y'all. I can fix it all with my handy dandy rubble reverse ray blaster.
  • (Robot grabs rubble reverse ray blaster out of Sandy's hand, smashes it, and leaves it on the ground)
  • Robot: Ha, ha, ha!
  • SpongeBob: Silly old robot. He doesn't realize you have more than one of these ray guns. Isn't that right Sandy? You do have more than one them? Don't you Sandy? (Sandy doesn't answer)  Sandy? (gulps)
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick leave the treedome nervously and Sandy gets angry)
  • Sandy: SpongeBob!

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