Template:BTranscript
- Narrator Fisherman have quite an effect on our undersea friends.
- Squidward SpongeBob, have you finished swabbing the deck?
- SpongeBob Almost. There's a nasty barnacle under table nine. (uses himself as a cleaning tool)
- Mr. Krabs They're back! They're back I tell ya! I saw it with my own eyes. (everyone looks at Mr. Krabs like he's crazy) The hooks! The hooks!
- Fred How about a mint?
- Mr. Krabs The hooks! The hooks!
- Tom Can you make that to go?
- Squidward You don't know how lucky you are.
- Mr. Krabs The hooks. So there I was minding my own business...
- Squidward I'd love to hear one of your riveting sea tales, but I have to do my waste basket inspection. (puts a trash-can on his head) Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. There's one.
- Mr. Krabs Fine, but don't say I didn't warn ya.
- SpongeBob Warn 'em about what, Mr. Krabs?
- Mr. Krabs The hooks, me bucko. They're back. Beware the hooks.
- SpongeBob The hooks?
- Mr. Krabs Aye. (shapes his arm like a hook) The hooks. They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and their pink island colors. And just when you think you found the island of milk and honey they grab you by the britches... (grabs Scooter's pants and lifts high like he is giving him a wedgy) ...and haul you way up high. Then higher, and higher, and higher until you're hauled up to the surface flopping and gasping for air. And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya, or worse...
- SpongeBob (gasps) What could be worse than that?
- Mr. Krabs Gift shops. (shows gift shop)
- SpongeBob (hides under a box) Don't let 'em get me, Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs There, there, boy. They won't get ya. Not as long as you listen to ol' Mr. Krabs. Now get back to the kitchen. Time is money.
- SpongeBob Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.
- Patrick (pokes his head through one of the kitchen windows) Good morning, Krusty Krew.
- SpongeBob Hey, Patrick.
- Patrick Guess what? The carnival's in town. C'mon, let's go.
- SpongeBob I can't leave now. I'm working.
- Patrick It's not leaving. It's just taking a break. (SpongeBob goes outside behind unseen) We're going to the carnival. We're going to the carni...(trips and falls on face) We're going to the carnival. We're going to the carnival. There it is, SpongeBob. The carnival is back in town. (many hooks are dangling) I'm gonna be first in line for everything!
- SpongeBob Where is everybody?
- Patrick I don’t know. There was one kid here, earlier.
- SpongeBob Doesn't look like any carnival I ever...(bumps into a hook) Excuse me. (gasps) Stop Patrick! Don't touch it! This isn't the carnival, Patrick. Those are hooks. Mr Krabs said they were really dangerous.
- Patrick (sits on a hook) Hmmm. I sense no danger here. How can they be dangerous? They're covered with free cheese!
- SpongeBob All I know is that Mr. Krabs said...Patrick, don't do that! (Patrick is putting the cheese in his mouth) Patrick: Cheesy. No danger here. Go on, try it.
- SpongeBob But, Mr. Krabs said...
- Patrick SpongeBob, let me ask you something. (puts 9 hooks in his mouth and still has 1 in his hand) Does this look dangerous?
- SpongeBob Ahh, Patrick, don't!
- Patrick Lighten up, will ya? Or do I have to eat all this cheese by mysel...(hooks pulls him up)
- SpongeBob (gasps) Patrick! Help! Oh, Patrick, help! Oh, Patrick, come back. Oh, my best friend. (Patrick floats down and SpongeBob runs into him as he hits the ground) Patrick, you're alive.
- Patrick Am I ever. You should try it.
- SpongeBob But...what about the surface, and your britches, and the gift shops.
- Patrick You just jump off before you get too high.
- SpongeBob Mr. Krabs said I shouldn't get near those things.
- Patrick Did he say you shouldn't climb on top of them and ride them like a horsey?
- SpongeBob Well, no.
- Patrick Wheeee.
- SpongeBob I guess he didn't.
- Patrick Hi Ho, Silverfish. Away!
- SpongeBob Ready?
- Patrick Ready.
- SpongeBob & Patrick Geronimo! (jump off)
- SpongeBob This is more fun than double overtime at the Krusty Krab. (We cut to the exterior at the Krusty Krab when customers are muttering angrily. We cut to see Ivy mad with Harold)
- Ivy P.U., you call this food? (captions version: Customer: P.U., you call this food?)
- Harold My sandwich tastes like a fried boot.
- Another Harold My sandwich is a fried boot.
- Fred Hurry it up, will ya? We're hungry over here. Look at us. My kids haven't eaten in three days and I'm dying. That's not how you're supposed to flip it. (captions version Hurry up, will you, we're hungry over here, look at us, my kids haven't eaten, and I'm dying! That's not how you are supposed to flip it! (customers muttering angrily...) (all talking at once) )
- Squidward Why do you wanna eat this stuff, anyway?
- Mr. Krabs Mr. Squidward, what the halibut is going on in here?
- Squidward It's a feeding frenzy, sir. And SpongeBob's not back from his break. (Mr. Krabs laughs) What?
- Mr. Krabs I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No one's taking a break at the Krusty Krab since the Chum Famine of '59. (laughs) Now, what were you saying?
- Squidward He took a break.
- Mr. Krabs Alright, SpongeBob LazyPants, I'll find ya. This nose can smell laziness up to 10,000 leagues. (uses his nose to smell) Aha! I'll give you a break you'll not soon forget.
- Squidward But Mr. Krabs, I still need help! (all the customers pick up Squidward like they are a mob)(subtitles version But Mr. Krabs, I still need help!!! (customers muttering angrily...) )
- Mr. Krabs (uses his nose to smell again) They should be right here. (SpongeBob & Patrick float down as they are laughing)
- Patrick Again?
- SpongeBob Again!
- Mr. Krabs The hooks! No! No! No!
- SpongeBob & Patrick (pulling on hook) 1, 2, 3...
- Mr. Krabs Wait! Wait!
- SpongeBob & Patrick ...blastoff. (hook pulls them up as Mr. Krabs slams into a rock)
- Mr. Krabs Boys. I wasn't quick enough. They're gone! If I can only hold them in me arms again, I'd...I'd... (laughing)...I'd throttle 'em. What did I tell you about those hooks, boy?
- SpongeBob I...I...I...
- Patrick I’ll tell you about the hooks. You ride 'em up, and up, and up, then you gently flow down.
- Mr. Krabs And do you know what happens when you don't float back down?
- SpongeBob Gift shop?
- Mr. Krabs Worse! You end up vacuum-packed in a can of tuna. (shows a can of tuna) With nothing to look forward to but the smell of mayonnaise. (shows a jar of mayo)
- SpongeBob & Patrick We're sorry, Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs I want you boys to promise me you'll never go on those hooks again.
- SpongeBob & Patrick (raises hands) We promise Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs I need a sailor's promise. Repeat after me: Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks I'll never go.
- SpongeBob & Patrick Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks we'll never go.
(hook pokes Mr. Krabs in the behind)
- Mr. Krabs Yow!! Mother of pearl. Fire on the poop deck.
- SpongeBob & Patrick Ahh! Mother of pearl. Fire on the poop deck.
- Mr. Krabs Whoa. Whew. Alright then. Let's get out of this death trap.
- SpongeBob Ok, Gary. Today is a new day. I'm ready to prove myself loyal to Mr Krabs.
- Gary Meow.
- SpongeBob I'm ready! (comes running out of house) I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready, ready, ready. I'm ready.
- Patrick Hey, SpongeBob, you're going the wrong way.
- SpongeBob I always go to work this way.
- Patrick You're not going to work today. We're going to go play hooky!
- SpongeBob But, Patrick, we promised.
- Patrick Well I had my fingers crossed.
- SpongeBob You don't have any fingers, Patrick.
- Patrick Well that Mr. Krabs is just a big dummy. We played on those hooks all day long and nothing happened to us.
- SpongeBob But Mr. Krabs said...
- Patrick Look, SpongeBob, are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or are you gonna listen to me?
- SpongeBob Umm...
- Patrick See ya later, SpongeBob. I'm going to go have some fun. (Patrick goes up and down the hooks) You know you want to.
- SpongeBob Ooh, I know I want to, but I promised Mr. Krabs that I wouldn't go near another... (almost runs into a hook. Gasps) ...hook! (almost touches the hook but takes it back) Oh no! Mr. Krabs told me all about you. You are a liar. A deceiver. I'll never fall for your tricks again. Never! (goes back to hook) Is this seat taken? (hook takes him up but when he comes down and turns around, we are shown he is hooked at the pants) Whew. Glad I got that out of my system. (gasps) I'm...hooked! And that means... Help! I'm hooked! Help! Mr. Krabs! Help! It happened! I'm hooked! Oh, no! The hook! The hook! Gift shop, tuna can, mayonnaise!
- Mr. Krabs Here you go, Pearl. Free water for all your little friends.
- Pearl Thanks, dad.
- Mr. Krabs Just don't forget to leave a tip for ol' Mr. Krabs.
- SpongeBob Psst, Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs SpongeBob! You're two minutes late. What kept you, lade?
- SpongeBob Um, you know those hooks we were talking about yesterday?
- Mr. Krabs Didn't I tell you not to go near those hooks?
- SpongeBob Umm...no. (hook pulls him a little closer) I mean yes, yes, you told me not to go near them.
- Mr. Krabs Well, you weren't playing on those hooks, were you lade?
- SpongeBob Of course not. (hook pulls him a little closer) I mean, not exactly. (hook pulls him a little closer) I MEAN YES! YES I DID IT! I ADMIT IT! (cries) Oh, Mr. Krabs! I'm so ashamed! I mean, look at me! I'm hooked!
- Mr. Krabs Hmmm, it's in there pretty deep.
- SpongeBob What am I going to do?
- Mr. Krabs There's only one thing to do, boy. (group of girls laugh. SpongeBob looks at his pants)
- SpongeBob Oh no, Mr. Krabs. I can't take off my pants. Not in front of all these girls. (hook pulls him closer) Doh, ok. I'm taking 'em off. I'm taking 'em off. (takes pants off) There.
- Mr. Krabs Uhh...lad?
- SpongeBob Ahh! Oh no. Oh no, no, no, Mr. Krabs. I can't do it! Anything but that!
- Mr. Krabs I understand. You were a good little fry cook, SpongeBob. But, we'll find another. Hopefully one that will listen to ol' Mr. Krabs.
- SpongeBob (hook pulls him a little closer) Oh, Mr. Krabs! I'll listen! I promise. Please save me, Mr. Krabs! (cries) I promise I'll be good! (underwear tears) Whew. (flees into the door naked)
- Girls Ooh, look! (laughs) It's SpongeBob NudeyPants. (SpongeBob screams and runs) (subtitles version All: Ooh, look, it's SpongeBob NudeyPants! SpongeBob: AAAAHHHH!!!!)
- Squidward (holding a fishing hook with SpongeBob's underwear on the hook) Well, that was more of SpongeBob than I needed to see.
- Mr. Krabs Mr. Squidward, that was some fine angling. Do you think the lad has learned his lesson?
- Squidward Oh, I think he'll remember this for a long time. I know I will. (both laugh)
- Patrick (bus drops off a can of tuna) Hello? Does somebody have a can opener?