Hooky/transcript

Template:BTranscript

• Narrator: Fishermen have quite an effect on our undersea friends.
• Squidward: SpongeBob, have you finished swabbing the deck?
• SpongeBob: Almost. There's a nasty barnacle under table nine. [uses himself as a cleaning tool]
• Mr. Krabs: They're back! They're back I tell ya! I saw it with me own eyes. [everyone looks at Mr. Krabs like he's crazy] The hooks! The hooks!
• Fred: How about a mint?
• Mr. Krabs: The hooks! The hooks!
• Tom: Can you make that to go?
• Squidward: You don't know how lucky you are.
• Mr. Krabs: The hooks. So there I was minding my own business...
• Squidward: I'd love to hear one of your riveting sea tales, but I have to do my waste basket inspection. [puts a trash-can on his head] Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. There's one.
• Mr. Krabs: Fine, but don't say I didn't warn ya.
• SpongeBob: Warn him about what, Mr. Krabs?
• Mr. Krabs: The hooks, me bucko. They're back. Beware the hooks.
• SpongeBob: The hooks?
• Mr. Krabs: Aye. [shapes his arm like a hook] The hooks. They dangle down and draw you close with their pleasing shapes and their beguiling colors. And just when you think you found the land of milk and honey they grab you by the britches... [grabs Scooters pants and lifts high like he is giving him a wedgy] ...and haul you way up high. Then higher, and higher, and higher until youre hauled up to the surface flopping and gasping for air. And then they cook ya, and then they eat ya, or worse...
• SpongeBob: [gasps] What could be worse than that?
• Mr. Krabs: Gift shops. [shows gift shop]
• SpongeBob: [hides under a box] Dont let em get me, Mr. Krabs.
• Mr. Krabs: There, there, boy. They wont get ya. Not as long as you listen to ol Mr. Krabs. Now get back to the kitchen. Time is money.
• SpongeBob: Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs.
• Patrick: [pokes his head through one of the kitchen windows] Good morning, Krusty Krew.
• SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.
• Patrick: Guess what? The carnivals in town. Cmon, lets go.
• SpongeBob: I cant leave now. Im working.
• Patrick: Its not leaving. Its just taking a break. [SpongeBob goes outside behind unseen] Were going to the carnival. Were going to the carni...[trips and falls on face] Were going to the carnival. Were going to the carnival. There it is, SpongeBob. The carnival is back in town. [many hooks are dangling] Im gonna be first in line for everything!
• SpongeBob: Where is everybody?
• Patrick: I don’t know. There was one kid here, earlier.
• SpongeBob: Doesnt look like any carnival I ever...[bumps into a hook] Excuse me. [gasps] Stop Patrick! Dont touch it! This isnt the carnival, Patrick. Those are hooks. Mr Krabs said they were really dangerous.
• Patrick: [sits on a hook] Hmmm. I sense no danger here. How can they be dangerous? Theyre covered with free cheese!
• SpongeBob: All I know is that Mr. Krabs said...Patrick, dont do that! [Patrick is putting the cheese in his mouth] Patrick: Cheesy. No danger here. Go on, try it.
• SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs said...
• Patrick: SpongeBob, let me ask you something. [puts 9 hooks in his mouth and still has 1 in his hand] Does this look dangerous?
• SpongeBob: Ahh, Patrick, dont!
• Patrick: Lighten up, will ya? Or do I have to eat all this cheese by mysel...[hooks pulls him up]
• SpongeBob: [gasps] Patrick! Help! Oh, Patrick, help! Oh, Patrick, come back. Oh, my best friend. [Patrick floats down and SpongeBob runs into him as he hits the ground] Patrick, youre alive.
• Patrick: Am I ever. You should try it.
• SpongeBob: But...what about the surface, and your britches, and the gift shops.
• Patrick: You just jump off before you get too high.
• SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs said I shouldnt get near those things.
• Patrick: Did he say you shouldnt climb on top of them and ride them like a horsey?
• SpongeBob: Well, no.
• Patrick: Wheeee.
• SpongeBob: I guess he didnt.
• Patrick: Hi Ho, Silverfish. Away!
• SpongeBob: Ready?
• Patrick: Ready.
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Geronimo! [jump off]
• SpongeBob: This is more fun than double overtime at the Krusty Krab. [We cut to the exterior at the Krusty Krab when customers are muttering angrily. We cut to see Ivy mad with Harold]
• Ivy: P.U., you call this food? [captions version: Customer: P.U., you call this food?]
• Harold: My sandwich tastes like a fried boot.
• Another Harold: My sandwich is a fried boot.
• Fred: Hurry it up, will ya? Were hungry over here. Look at us. My kids havent eaten in three days and Im dying. Thats not how youre supposed to flip it. [captions version Hurry up, will you, were hungry over here, look at us, my kids havent eaten, and Im dying! Thats not how you are supposed to flip it! [customers muttering angrily..] [all talking at once] ]
• Squidward: Why do you wanna eat this stuff, anyway?
• Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, what the halibut is going on in here?
• Squidward: Its a feeding frenzy, sir. And SpongeBobs not back from his break. [Mr. Krabs laughs] What?
• Mr. Krabs: I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No ones taking a break at the Krusty Krab since the Chum Famine of 59. [laughs] Now, what were you saying?
• Squidward: He took a break.
• Mr. Krabs: Alright, SpongeBob LazyPants, Ill find ya. This nose can smell laziness up to 10,000 leagues. [uses his nose to smell] Aha! Ill give you a break youll not soon forget.
• Squidward: But Mr. Krabs, I still need help! [all the customers pick up Squidward like they are a mob]'[subtitles version But Mr. Krabs, I still need help!!! [customers muttering angrily..] ]
• Mr. Krabs: [uses his nose to smell again] They should be right here. [SpongeBob & Patrick float down as they are laughing]
• Patrick: Again?
• SpongeBob: Again!
• Mr. Krabs: The hooks! No! No! No!
• SpongeBob & Patrick: [pulling on hook] 1, 2, 3...
• Mr. Krabs: Wait! Wait!
• SpongeBob & Patrick: ...blastoff. [hook pulls them up as Mr. Krabs slams into a rock]
• Mr. Krabs: Boys. I wasnt quick enough. Theyre gone! If I can only hold them in me arms again, Id...Id... [laughing]...Id throttle em. What did I tell you about those hooks, boy?
• SpongeBob: I...I...I...
• Patrick: I’ll tell you about the hooks. You ride em up, and up, and up, then you gently flow down.
• Mr. Krabs: And do you know what happens when you dont float back down?
• SpongeBob: Gift shop?
• Mr. Krabs: Worse! You end up vacuum-packed in a can of tuna. [shows a can of tuna] With nothing to look forward to but the smell of mayonnaise. [shows a jar of mayo]
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Were sorry, Mr. Krabs.
• Mr. Krabs: I want you boys to promise me youll never go on those hooks again.
• SpongeBob & Patrick: [raises hands] We promise Mr. Krabs.
• Mr. Krabs: I need a sailors promise. Repeat after me: Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks Ill never go.
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Yo-ho, yo-ho, near the hooks well never go.
• [hook pokes Mr. Krabs in the behind]
• Mr. Krabs: Yow!! Mother of pearl. Fire on the poop deck.
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahh! Mother of pearl. Fire on the poop deck.
• Mr. Krabs: Whoa. Whew. Alright then. Lets get out of this death trap.
• SpongeBob: Ok, Gary. Today is a new day. Im ready to prove myself loyal to Mr Krabs.
• Gary: Meow.
• SpongeBob: Im ready! [comes running out of house] Im ready. Im ready. Im ready. Im ready. Im ready, ready, ready. Im ready.
• Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, youre going the wrong way.
• SpongeBob: I always go to work this way.
• Patrick: Youre not going to work today. Were going to go play hooky!
• SpongeBob: But, Patrick, we promised.
• Patrick: Well I had my fingers crossed.
• SpongeBob: You dont have any fingers, Patrick.
• Patrick: Well that Mr. Krabs is just a big dummy. We played on those hooks all day long and nothing happened to us.
• SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs said...
• Patrick: Look, SpongeBob, are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or are you gonna listen to me?
• SpongeBob: Umm...
• Patrick: See ya later, SpongeBob. Im going to go have some fun. [Patrick goes up and down the hooks] You know you want to.
• SpongeBob: Ooh, I know I want to, but I promised Mr. Krabs that I wouldnt go near another... [almost runs into a hook. Gasps] ...hook! [almost touches the hook but takes it back] Oh no! Mr. Krabs told me all about you. You are a liar. A deceiver. Ill never fall for your tricks again. Never! [goes back to hook] Is this seat taken? [hook takes him up but when he comes down and turns around, we are shown he is hooked at the pants] Whew. Glad I got that out of my system. [gasps] Im...hooked! And that means... Help! Im hooked! Help! Mr. Krabs! Help! It happened! Im hooked! Oh, no! The hook! The hook! Gift shop, tuna can, mayonnaise!
• Mr. Krabs: Here you go, Pearl. Free water for all your little friends.
• Pearl: Thanks, dad.
• Mr. Krabs: Just dont forget to leave a tip for ol Mr. Krabs.
• SpongeBob: Psst, Mr. Krabs.
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Youre two minutes late. What kept you, lade?
• SpongeBob: Um, you know those hooks we were talking about yesterday?
• Mr. Krabs: Didnt I tell you not to go near those hooks?
• SpongeBob: Umm...no. [hook pulls him a little closer] I mean yes, yes, you told me not to go near them.
• Mr. Krabs: Well, you werent playing on those hooks, were you lade?
• SpongeBob: Of course not. [hook pulls him a little closer] I mean, not exactly. [hook pulls him a little closer] I MEAN YES! YES I DID IT! I ADMIT IT! [cries] Oh, Mr. Krabs! Im so ashamed! I mean, look at me! Im hooked!
• Mr. Krabs: Hmmm, its in there pretty deep.
• SpongeBob: What am I going to do?
• Mr. Krabs: Theres only one thing to do, boy. [group of girls laugh. SpongeBob looks at his pants]
• SpongeBob: Oh no, Mr. Krabs. I cant take off my pants. Not in front of all these girls. [hook pulls him closer] Doh, ok. Im taking em off. Im taking em off. [takes pants off] There.
• Mr. Krabs: Uhh...lad?
• SpongeBob: Ahh! Oh no. Oh no, no, no, Mr. Krabs. I cant do it! Anything but that!
• Mr. Krabs: I understand. You were a good little fry cook, SpongeBob. But, well find another. Hopefully one that will listen to ol Mr. Krabs.
• SpongeBob: [hook pulls him a little closer] Oh, Mr. Krabs! Ill listen! I promise. Please save me, Mr. Krabs! [cries] I promise Ill be good! [underwear tears] Whew. [flees into the door naked]
• Girls: Ooh, look! [laughs] Its SpongeBob NudeyPants. [SpongeBob screams and runs] [subtitles version All: Ooh, look, its SpongeBob NudeyPants! SpongeBob: AAAAHHHH!!!!]
• Squidward: [holding a fishing hook with SpongeBobs underwear on the hook] Well, that was more of SpongeBob than I needed to see.
• Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, that was some fine angling. Do you think the lad has learned his lesson?
• Squidward: Oh, I think hell remember this for a long time. I know I will. [both laugh]
• Patrick: [bus drops off a can of tuna] Hello? Does somebody have a can opener?