SpongeBob SquarePants

Home Sweet Rubble (transcript)

on ESB
Add New Page
Comments0 Share
Arrow Left
Arrow Right
Transcript Information [edit]
Home Sweet Rubble
Season №: 8
Episode №: 170b
Airdate: April 4, 2012
Previous: "Free Samples"
Next: "Karen 2.0"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Home Sweet Rubble" from season eight, which aired on April 4, 2012.

  • [SpongeBob's pineapple starts to rot in the heat]
  • SpongeBob: [wakes up, yawns, and stretches, climbs out of bed and feet sink into sand, walks up to bedroom window and opens it] Ahh. What could go wrong on a beautiful day like this? [window twists and falls off, he walks into kitchen] Gary, time for breakfast! [reaches for Snail Po on shelf, but the shelf falls] The house must be settling. [pushes shelf hook into place] Oh, that's better. [the shelf, including the piece of wall it was on, collapses] I can fix this. I'll feed you when I'm done. [walks out of the kitchen]
  • Gary: [imitating SpongeBob] Meow meow meow meow meow.
  • SpongeBob: [hammering a board into place] Just a little handyman's know-how is all it takes, Gary! [hammering makes the wall fall off]
  • Gary: [holding food bowl] Meow meow meow meow!
  • SpongeBob: Oh! Sorry, Gary. You want to eat, huh? Don't worry, I can fix both problems.
  • SpongeBob: [hammers nails into the wall to fix it up] Okay, now that that's taken care of, time to feed Gary. [walks back inside when house gets even more rotten and goes in the kitchen with a big mess] [blinks then walks to the living room with another mess] Oh no! This is worse than I thought! [runs with 2 brooms 1 by 1 to hold the roof] My door! [runs to door with a chair to keep the door from falling, gasps, runs to window then takes off a television stick then puts it on the window to keep the window from falling] AHHHHHHHH! [both brooms break then SpongeBob runs to the roof and holds it and gets squished on the floor and gets back up and holds it with his head] Patrick! Patrick! [while Patrick is snoring] Patrick!
  • Patrick: [dreaming he is in an office silently, using a pencil and pendulum randomly. the phone beeps.]
  • Telephone Girl: Mr. Star, I have a SpongeBob SquarePants on line 3!
  • Patrick: Put him through.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick Star!
  • Patrick: Hey, buddy! You really need to get this place cleaned up.
  • Squidward: It's The Big One! It's the end of the world! Invest in gold! Hoard your drinking wa... I should've known. [goes to SpongeBob's house] What's going on in here?!
  • SpongeBob: You're just in time to lend a hand, Squidward!
  • Squidward: Lend a hand? No! [Patrick grabs Squidward and stretches him across the house]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, call Sandy! Tell her to get over here fast!
  • Patrick: [ties Squidward's tentacles] Say no more, buddy!
  • SpongeBob: Hurry, Patrick! I don't know how much longer I can hold this!
  • Patrick: [calls Sandy]
  • Sandy: Cheeks residence
  • Patrick: Sandy, don't hang up!
  • Sandy: What do you want?
  • Patrick: Oh, nothing. I'm just hanging with the sponge. How about you?
  • Sandy: Oh, you know. A little of this, a little of that, A little vacuuming...
  • Patrick: [chuckles] Sounds like fun. I wish I was over there. SpongeBob's house is boring. There's nothing going on over here. [a crashing noise is heard from the wall falling in the background]
  • Sandy: That sure don't sound like nothing. What's all the ruckus?
  • Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob's pineapple is rotting and falling apart all around us... we're doomed.
  • Sandy: I'll be right over!
  • Patrick: Oh take your time...
  • SpongeBob: Holding steady Patrick. But, who knows how long this support system will last?
  • Squidward: [SpongeBob snaps Squidward's tentacle] Ow
  • Sandy: This place sure went to pot, quick. Knockity knock, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: No, Sandy don't! We must never, ever knock. This pineapple could topple over the slightest gesture. [SpongeBob goes to touch the house, but when it starts to rumble he quickly retreats his hand]
  • Mr. Krabs: [Mr. Krabs approaches SpongeBob from behind] SpongeBob, what are you doing here? You were supposed to be at work two hours ago! [a massive line of unserviced customers at the Krusty Krab is shown.]
  • Frank (lifeguard): Hello? Anybody here? Hello?! [turns and face the other customers] Do you guys know how to make a Krabby Patty?
  • Dave: No, but I do know how to open a cash register!
  • Mr. Krabs: Your absence is costing me money!
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I know. I'm sorry, but my hou...
  • Mr. Krabs: And, Squidward! I expect more from you. Well, actually, no... I don't.
  • Sandy: Well, I'm with you SpongeBob. And I've got the toolbox to prove it!
  • Patrick: I'm here because... wait a minute, why am I here? SpongeBob, I'm having another exit pencils crisis!
  • SpongeBob: Not now, Patrick. And Squidward has done a great job holding it up.
  • Squidward: Against my will, I might add.
  • SpongeBob: So what do you say Mr. Krabs? Will you help?
  • Mr. Krabs: Well... I suppose I could join the cause. But, it'll have to be our standard deal.
  • SpongeBob: A week of my wages per hour?
  • Mr. Krabs: You got it kiddo!
  • Sandy: Well what are we waiting for? Let's get this restoration underway! [hands SpongeBob an armful of wooden planks]
  • Sandy: [Sandy uses a very elaborate machine to hammer a nail into the house.] Perfectly calibrated! [the hammer smashes her finger, and traps her finger] OW! [Sandy goes to pull away, but the machine falls on top of her]
  • Mr. Krabs: [Mr. Krabs carves into a plank using a chisel and hammer, creating money-esque landscape.] Not a bad bit of wooden starry if I do say so meself. Time to put the finishing touches on her. [Mr. Krabs hammers 1 more time, and it falls to pieces] Hm.
  • Patrick: [Patrick inspects a plank, and then rams it into the decaying house]
  • SpongeBob: Uuummmmmm... excuse me, everyone? Not to micromanage or anything, but do any of you actually know how to build a pineapple?!
  • Sandy: Well of course we do silly. Firstly, every pineapple needs a solid foundation to keep it firmly in place...
  • Mr. Krabs: Not exactly, Miss Cheeks. A pineapple needs to be mobile, with a strong hull attached in case you need to skip town unexpectedly.
  • Patrick: Wrong! A pineapple needs a sweet, but tangy flavor. [rips out the board he previously placed in the house, eats the rotten pineapple piece dangling from the end]
  • SpongeBob: Those are all very great ideas, but...
  • Sandy: But, arguing ain't gonna get this pineapple fixed. Good point! [slaps SpongeBob on the back] Okay, fellas! From now on, we incorporate everyone's ideas.
  • Patrick and Mr. Krabs: Yea!
  • SpongeBob: Uh, that's not exactly what I had in mind, Sandy... [gets run over by "junk" being pushed out by Sandy]
  • Sandy: First thing you gotta do is clean out all this old junk.
  • SpongeBob: [crawls from pile] Sandy, my furniture is perfectly fine.
  • Mr. Krabs: : Heads up! [runs over SpongeBob with a grill] Careful, boy. I thought I'd install a grill in your TV room for those nights where you have to bring work home with you.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, but I like to watch TV in my TV room.
  • Sandy: Well, this ain't the TV room, anymore. This is your indoor garden. [proceeds to water plants in the room]
  • SpongeBob: But, the sofa goes there.
  • Sandy: Oh, I know. But, isn't this better?
  • Gary: Meoooowwww.
  • SpongeBob: Gary, do you ever feel like you are not being listened to?
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, we need to talk.
  • Sandy: About these columns? Nice, huh? Gives the pineapple an intellectual flavor.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, but I kind of liked my pineapple the way it was. I don't need all these fancy- [gets splattered by paint]
  • Sandy: Sorry, buddy. I-I can't understand you. You've got something in your mouth.
  • Mr. Krabs: [painting the pineapple with a finishing trowel] Ho ho, kiddo. Look out. Just applying some plaster stucco exterior here.
  • SpongeBob: [wipes some paint off his mouth] I guess what I'm trying to say is there's nothing wrong with a pineapple that looks like a pineapple.
  • Gary: [carrying a can] Meow.
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] Oh, no, Gary! I still haven't fed you. Let's take care of that right now, little bud-
  • Patrick: [pushes an oblong rock and leans it against the side of SpongeBob's house] It's just not a house without a rock to sleep under.
  • Sandy: Well, what do you think, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: It's, uh...
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes?
  • SpongeBob: It's, uh...
  • Sandy: Fantastic?
  • SpongeBob: It's, uh...
  • Patrick: I'm hungry.
  • SpongeBob: You all worked very hard.
  • Mr. Krabs and Patrick: Whoo-hoo!
  • Sandy: Yee-haw!
  • Mr. Krabs: And, since you're such a satisfied customer, I only charged you double. [Mr. Krabs, Sandy and Patrick all leave]
  • Sandy: Good job, fellers!
  • Mr. Krabs: Good work, boy!
  • Patrick: I'm starving. [chuckles]
  • [cut to SpongeBob and Gary going inside their new house]
  • SpongeBob: Well, Gary. Here it is. Our new home. [sits down in a sand chair] Hmmm. This must be Patrick's contribution to the living room. Hey, vintage condiment jugs! Thank you, Mr. Krabs! [presses down on the mustard dispenser, and dry mustard flies out and lands in SpongeBob's eyes in slow motion, burning them] Yaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! [He screams in regular motion and runs into a futuristic bathroom] Gary, where's the sink?!
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: [washes his face off in a toilet, which flushes] Gary, I don't think that was the sink.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: [sarcastically] Thanks for the futuristic bathroom, Sandy.
  • [a robot arm grabs SpongeBob and cleans the toilet with him like a real sponge]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Well, this isn't exactly home sweet pineapple, but I suppose it could be much worse. We still a roof over our heads and food on the table. Hey, that reminds me! You still haven't eaten today, have you? Sorry, buddy. You must be famished. [takes a can off a shelf that Squidward is holding in place]
  • Gary: Meow.
  • [Squidward's tentacles slip through the holes in the walls, and he unravels as the stucco falls off the house and everything begins falling apart]
  • Squidward: Ah! I'm unraveling! [the pineapple collapses to dust] If you ever, and I mean ever- [his neck cracks] Ow! My neck. I'm gonna be in the chiropractor's for a week. [walks away]
  • SpongeBob: Well, Gary. There's only one thing left to do: [picks up the phone] call and have this place condemned. [dials the phone as Gary leaves to get something] Hello, operator. City hall, please, Office of Broken Dreams.
  • Gary: [returns with his food can] Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Gary, I'm sorry. With all this house ruckus, I completely forgot to feed you. Here you go, buddy. [SpongeBob opens the can, and a huge pineapple house flies out, landing on the pile of remains of SpongeBob's old house. SpongeBob reads what the can says] "Furnished Pineapple in a Can." Oh, Gary! You are the best! [laughs and hugs Gary, ending the episode]

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Wikia Spotlight

Random Wiki