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Home Sweet Pineapple (transcript)

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Home Sweet Pineapple
General
Season №: 1
Episode №: 5b
Airdate: August 14, 1999
Chronology
Previous: Pizza Delivery
Next: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Home Sweet Pineapple" from season one, which aired on August 14, 1999.

  • Nematodes: Walking, walking, walking, walking.
  • Nematode #1: Hungry!
  • Nematodes: Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry. [all eat some coral]
  • Nematode #1: Still hungry!
  • Nematodes: still hungry, still hungry, still hungry, still hungry. [eat a truck that drives by, leaving the driver floating]
  • Fred: Aww, dang nematodes!
  • Nematode #1: Thirsty!
  • Nematodes: Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty. [all bounce to SpongeBobs house and take out straws. Then start drinking up the pineapple house. SpongeBob and Gary are still sleeping as everything begins to shrink inside, even Garys bowl]
  • Gary: Meow. [SpongeBob's bed begins to shrink as he wakes up]
  • SpongeBob: Hooray, Gary! Were finally huge!
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Huh? Wait a minute! Oh no! [squeezes through the door as he tries to get to the phone. Gary gets stuck in the door]
  • Gary: Meow!
  • SpongeBob: Shell phone! I know, I'll call Squidward. He'll know what to do!
  • Squidward: [on the other line] Hello?
  • SpongeBob: Squidward!
  • Squidward: Is it time already for you to ruin my day?
  • SpongeBob: [as he talks to Squidward, his voice gets higher and higher and starts talking gibberish and fast until the phone completely disappears] Squidward! Help me! My house is shrinking and I woke up this morning and it was getting smaller...oh no!
  • Squidward: Yep, it is. [Patrick comes out from his rock]
  • Patrick: Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? [falls off rock onto his furniture then jumps out with a tuxedo and hat on] Hey, SpongeBob, don't start without me!
  • Neamatodes: [all burp, then leave]
  • SpongeBob: Ohh... nematodes. [sees a seed on the ground, then picks it up] The only thing left of my house is this little pebble. [Patrick and Squidward walk up]
  • Squidward: Whats going on here?
  • SpongeBob: I've got bad news, guys! Look at what happened to my house! Its gone! Its all gone. What am I going to do? Where am I going to live?
  • Squidward: [excited] Yeah...
  • Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, your house is gone!
  • Squidward: Well, what can I say? [begins to shake SpongeBob's hand] Its been great knowing you, SpongeBob. Good luck, somewhere else. [walks back to his house] I'm gonna miss you. Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo. [party favors fly out Squidwards windows as he parties] Boo-hoo! [starts to laugh]
  • Patrick: Squid's taking it real hard. So what are you gonna do now?
  • Squidward: No!
  • SpongeBob: I guess I'll have to move back with my mom and dad. [shown a picture of SpongeBob's parents smiling]
  • Patrick: No, wait a minute, no you don't. [shown picture of SpongeBob's parents frowning] We can build you a new house!
  • SpongeBob: We can't build a house!
  • Patrick: Well, sure, its easy! I built my house all by myself! [antenna on Patricks rock falls off]
  • SpongeBob: Alright, Patrick, lets get to work! [zoom in on SpongeBob and Patrick as construction workers. Patrick tries to hit a nail into a board, but hits his hand instead] Ow!, Ow!, Oww! SpongeBob takes two buckets of paint, one red and one green. He pours the red paint on his back side and pours the green paint on his front side. He puts one side on a fence so that the paint gets on it, and then he does the other side the same way. He does this twice. As he tightens a loose bolt, the screen turns every time SpongeBob tightens the bolt sending Patrick sliding, falling upside down towards the sky, then back onto the ground right side up. SpongeBob nails pieces of wooden boards together in midair, and a piece falls off and lands on Patrick's hand. Patrick moves his board under the next board, which falls down on his hand. This happens several times. Next, shown SpongeBob's finished house and Patrick gives a big thumbs up with bandages wrapped around his thumb]
  • Patrick: We're done!
  • SpongeBob: Yeah! So what do you think?
  • Patrick: I wish I lived there.
  • SpongeBob: Really?
  • Patrick: No. [SpongeBob puts the small pineapple on his head]
  • SpongeBob: One bedroom. [nose sticks out through the door and the pineapple breaks into pieces]
  • Patrick: Tartar sauce.
  • SpongeBob: [pets Gary] Well, looks like we've got to move back with Mom and Pop.
  • Patrick: Well, you can't move back in with your parents! When my parents kicked me out of the house, I never went back. Wait! You and Gary can come stay with me!
  • SpongeBob: That'd be great!
  • Patrick: Yeah! Will be rockmates! [SpongeBob and Patrick get ready to sleep under Patrick's rock] Good night, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Good night, rockmate.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Good night, Gary. [SpongeBob goes to sleep but then is awaken to Patrick's snoring] Oh...what the...? [Gary hides in his shell and SpongeBob puts a cork in the sides of his head, and goes back to sleep. The wind blows and Patrick shivers, he then pulls the rock closer to him, SpongeBob shivers in the cold and pulls it back over himself. Gary sits on top of the rock as they keep pulling it back and forth until Patrick keeps the rock closer to him. SpongeBob gets cold and he covers himself with sand on and goes to sleep. Patrick starts drooling heavily, filling his mouth, and flows like a stream over to SpongeBob. As SpongeBob snores, he absorbs the drool coming from Patrick and becomes a fat sponge. He waddles over to Patrick and removes the corks, spilling Patrick's drool out of him and down-sizing him to normal size. Then he takes out a bigger cork and puts it in Patrick's mouth and goes back to sleep. Patrick struggles, then spits out the cork]
  • Patrick [in his sleep]: Spiders! Spiders! Spiders! [lifts rock and starts smashing SpongeBob with it several times, he then goes back to sleep]
  • SpongeBob: No, Patrick, no, Patrick, no, Patrick, no, Patrick! Wake up! It's me, SpongeBob! [moves away from the rock a few feet and goes back to sleep]
  • Patrick: SPIDERS!!! SPIDERS!!! [picks up his rock, runs over to SpongeBob, and smashes him repeatedly with the rock]
  • SpongeBob: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! [Patrick goes back to sleep]
  • SpongeBob: [in Squidward's house, he stands next to Squidward, holding Gary, as Squidward sleeps, he taps Squidward's nose as he whispers] Squidward? Squidward?
  • Squidward: [sleepfully] H-h-huh?
  • SpongeBob: Squidward?
  • Squidward: [sleepfully] Huh? Wha-what?
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, could we stay here a couple of days or a month or two?
  • Squidward: [sleepfully] Yeah, yeah, wha-wha-whatever.
  • SpongeBob: Thanks. Thanks Squidward. [gets in bed with Squidward] Squidward, could you scoot over a little?
  • Squidward: [sleepfully] Hmm, yeah, sure. [scoots over to the side]
  • SpongeBob: While you're at it, could you get me a glass of water?
  • Squidward: [sleepfully] Hmmm, yeah, sure. [gets out of bed and walks off, then comes back with a glass of water]
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, this is a real swell place you got here. [Squidward hands SpongeBob the glass] Thanks, buddy.
  • Squidward: [sleepfully] Y-you're welcome. [SpongeBob drinks the water]
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, I like sleepovers.
  • Squidward: [sleepfully] Yeah. Me, too.
  • SpongeBob: Yep, this is great. Good night, Squidward.
  • Squidward: [yawns] Good night, SpongeBob. [Squidward's eyes pop open. Squidward opens the door and SpongeBob and Gary walk out] [unhappy] Good night, SpongeBob. [the next day, Squidward opens his eyes excitedly] Today's the big day, Squidward! Don't wanna be late! [he flies into his closet, gets dressed, and goes outside] Gotta hurry! Hold it! Hold everything! [SpongeBob and Patrick stand outside, with bags] I do not want to miss this. The day SpongeBob moves! I can't believe it's really happening.
  • SpongeBob: Dont worry, Squidward. I'll come visit you.
  • Squidward: Dont try to cheer me up, SpongeBob. Please.
  • SpongeBob: Here come my parents. [Patrick beings to cry and the car horn sounds as SpongeBob's parents drive up]
  • Mrs. SquarePants: SpongeBob! Hi, honey, were here!
  • Mr. SquarePants: Come on, SpongeBob, hurry hurry, son, your mother has dinner waiting.
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Mom.
  • Squidward: Hello, Mrs. SquarePants! Let me help you with these bags. [picks up the bags and carries them to the car]
  • SpongeBob: Just give me a minute. [walks back to where his house used to be] I cannot hold onto you any longer, little pebble. [buries it into the ground] You hold too many memories. [as he starts to cry, a tear falls from his nose and into the ground where the seed absorbs it, it then starts to glow. Then SpongeBob shakes Squidwards hand] Well, Squidward, this is good-bye. [walks away]
  • Squidward: Good-bye, SpongeBob, good-bye. [dances] Good-bye, SpongeBob. Bye-bye-bye. Good-bye, SpongeBob. Ha-ha. Good-bye, good-bye. [Patrick lies on the ground, bawling, as SpongeBob gets in the car]
  • SpongeBob: Good-bye, Patrick. Good-bye, Bikini Bottom. [Patrick holds onto the back of the boat, lifting the front into the air, as he cries]
  • Squidward: [still dancing] SpongeBob is leaving. He's leaving, he's leaving! [the seed shakes violently] la, la, la, la, la, la, SpongeBob is leaving...[Squidward stops dancing as the ground starts shaking, a giant green stem grows out of the ground, SpongeBob's house grows from the plant and drops where his old house used to be and on Squidward. The stem then goes back into the ground]
  • SpongeBob: My house is back! [SpongeBob, his parents, and Patrick all happily run into the pineapple, SpongeBob returns to Squidward lying under the floor] Aww, Squidward, isnt this great? I'm back forever!
  • Squidward: [muffled] Forever?

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