[SpongeBob and Patrick stare at each other for about 30 seconds, blinking occasionally]
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick!
SpongeBob: You wanna play hide-and-seek?
SpongeBob: Okay! I figure that that spot over there by those rocks is a good place to-
Patrick: Do I have to know what hide-and-seek is in order to play it?
SpongeBob:[Laughing] C'mon, Patrick, Quit fooling around! We've played hide-and-seek dozens of times!
SpongeBob: Well I don't know for sure how many I...
SpongeBob: Gosh what?
Patrick: I didn't know hide-and-seek had so much mathematics.
[Bubble transition changes the scene]
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's simple. [stands behind a rock] A person stands behind a rock, like this. [covers his eyes] Then they cover their eyes. [uncovers one of his eyes] And count while the other person runs and hides!
Patrick: Hey, you're peeking!
SpongeBob: I thought you said you didn't know how to play.
Patrick: Play what?
SpongeBob: Hide 'n seek!
Patrick: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I do! I do know how to play!
SpongeBob: Oh, good!
Patrick: I- I just have one tiny question.
SpongeBob: What's that?
Patrick: What's hide 'n seek? [Bubble transition changes the scene]
SpongeBob:[with socks on his hands] You think you're getting it now, Patrick? Did you find the sock puppet demonstration to be useful?
Patrick: Hide and seek: a game played by two or more players in which one player chosen at random counts aloud to a pre-determined number while the remaining players hide. Upon reaching said number, the counting player now embarks on a search for the other players. [SpongeBob takes his socks off his hands and puts them back on his feet] The search continues until all players are located and a winner is determined.
SpongeBob: Hey, you really are getting it!
Patrick: Hide 'n seek sure sounds fun, (gets choked up) I just wish I could play! [starts crying]
SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick, come on. Of course we can play!
Patrick: Oh no! I can't! [sobbing in despair]
SpongeBob: Why can't you?
Patrick: Because... I don't have any socks! [bawls uncontrollably]
SpongeBob: No Patrick, forget about the socks.
Patrick: What socks?
SpongeBob: Never mind, just start counting.
Patrick:[Covering his eyes] One, two, three... [continues counting]
SpongeBob: That's perfect! Now I'm gonna run and hide.
Patrick: Seven, eight...
SpongeBob: Now I'm all over, where am I gonna hide? [Looks to the right, then the left] Hmmm. [Lifts his finger up then puts his finger in his mouth and sticks out his tongue before licking his finger and puts the finger in and out] That's definitely one idea.
Patrick: Seventy-eight, seventy-nine, a hundred! FOUR! A-ha! I found you. I win, I win, I win! In your face [Pokes SpongeBob in the face] I must be the best hide and seek player ever!
SpongeBob: All right, it's my turn to count. You know what you're supposed to do right?
Patrick: OF COURSE! I'm the best hide and seek player ever aren't I?
SpongeBob: Right. Here I go. [covers eyes] One, two, three, four, five, six,seven, eight...
Patrick:[thinking] Do you hear that? No what is that? Oh, it's SpongeBob. Why is he counting? I guess I'll just go home, maybe or later he'll want to play a game or something.
SpongeBob: Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty... [Patrick lifts up his rock and jumps in] Ninety-nine, [uncovers eyes] a hundred! Now where is he hiding? [Looks at Patrick's rock] Nah, way too obvious. [Walks away, little realizing that Patrick was taking out his trash] Come out, come out wherever you are! [Looks behind kelp and through a rock, but the rock is upside down a flower springs behind him] Patrick! [Sees something that looks like Patrick's head, sticking out of the ground] Patrick! [Lifts his head up but it is brain coral] This is gonna be harder than I thought.
Squidward: La da dee, la da dum, la da doo... [Reaches for his keys]
SpongeBob: Squidward! [Squidward is rummaging now] SQUIDWARRRD! [Squidward is flicking] SQUIIIDWARRRD!
Squidward: No! [Flicks through carrots]
SpongeBob: SQUIDWAAARRRD! [Squidward tries to get in the house but the key snaps meaning he is stuck with SpongeBob. Screams]
SpongeBob: I'm playing hide and seek with Patrick and I was wondering if I could search for him in your house.
SpongeBob: OK. See ya, bye.
Mr. Krabs: Patty's kr [Bangs into a letter] What the... [An a falls near him] TIME FOR THE SHELTER! Doomsday came sooner than I thought.
SpongeBob: Hey Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Oh how do they know my name?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs up here!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? What are you doing?
SpongeBob I'm playing hide and seek with Patrick. I thought I'd look for him on this sign.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! THAT MAKES ME FURIOUS!
SpongeBob: Don't worry Mr. Krabs, I'll clean it up.
Mr. Krabs: It's not that! It's just that you haven't paid the fee.
SpongeBob: The fee?
Mr. Krabs: Yeah you know. The Krusty Krab Hide and Go Seekers' Fee. For playing hide and seek on Krusty Krab premises.
SpongeBob: Oh, that one. I almost forgot. [Throws coins into Mr. Krab's chest]
Mr. Krabs: OK! Good luck finding him!
SpongeBob: Thanks Mr. Krabs! Darn it! [cut scene to boating school and the bell rings. SpongeBob is looking under boats]
Mrs. Puff: Where could that awful noise be coming from? It's been going on for hours now. SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Hi Mrs. Puff.
Mrs. Puff: What are you doing? My class can hardly hear me teach.
SpongeBob: I'm trying to lift this boat. I think Patrick's hiding underneath it.
Mrs. Puff: Why would he be doing that?
SpongeBob: Because we're playing hide and seek. Wanna play?
Mrs. Puff: Me? Why no I I couldn't
SpongeBob: Are you sure?
SpongeBob Are you sure you're sure?
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure you're sure?
Mrs.puff: Yes I'm sure.
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure you're sure you're sure?
Mrs. Puff: Yes
SpongeBob: Are you sure you're sure...
Mrs.puff: Naturally SpongeBob, I will play. [lifts up the boat, throws it and makes a fire]
SpongeBob: Nope he's not under there. Thanks for checking under your car Mrs.puff.
Sandy: Yes [SpongeBob rushes through the door] SpongeBob? What are you doing with that magnifying glass?
SpongeBob: Looking for Patrick. I've been seeking and seeking all day but I can't find him.
Sandy: Oh, that's terrible news.
SpongeBob: I know.
Sandy: Come on. You ain't gonna find him with that drab little thing. I've got something better. [pushes a button and a submarine comes up]
SpongeBob: Wow. Are you sure it's OK for me to use this?
Sandy: I keep this thing here for emergencies. This is an emergency. Right SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes. Yes absolutely. [climbs into the submarine] Thanks again Sandy
Sandy: Be careful! [Hole breaks in treedome. SpongeBob searches everywhere. Cut scene to map of Bikini Bottom.
SpongeBob: Darn it. "Welcome to the end of the world, cafe and gift shop". [Walks in]
Waiter: May I help you son?
SpongeBob: I'm looking for my friend Patrick.
Waiter: You mean a big mouthish fellow with a pointy head?
Waiter: I have not seen him.
SpongeBob: Oh. Oh well thanks anyway.
Waiter: Wait! Is he pink?
Waiter: Well in that case, he's sitting right over there.
SpongeBob: I can't believe it! Patrick it really is you.
Patrick not-star: My name is Patrick. Patrick not-star.
SpongeBob: Patrick not-star? Oh no! You aren't the one I'm seeking! Now i'll never find Patrick! He wins at hide and seek! He wins. He wins.
Patrick Not-Star: So he wins. What's so bad about that?
SpongeBob: Well if he wins I lose.
Patrick Not-Star: Did you have fun playing?
Patrick Not-Star: Well then it's OK to lose as long as you have fun doing it.
SpongeBob: Hey, you're right! Thanks Patrick not-star.
Patrick Not-Star: Just one more thing.
SpongeBob: What's that?
Patrick Not-Star: Do you have $1 I can borrow?
SpongeBob: Patrick! You were under there the whole time?
SpongeBob: I was just leaving this note for you.
Patrick: "Dear Patrick: I couldn't find you so you win. But that's OK because I still had fun playing. You are truly the greatest hide and seek player in the whole world. Love SpongeBob. Thanks SpongeBob. That really means a lot."
SpongeBob: Patrick I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.