Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Gullible Pants" from season 6, which aired on June 5, 2009.

  • [Mr. Krabs is in his office counting his money.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Four hundred and fifty-one, four hundred and fifty-two, four hundred and fifty-three, four hundred and fifty-four, four hundred and fifty-five, four hundred and fifty-si... [hurts himself] Ow! No! [sucks claw] Oh! [close up on Mr. Krabs' nail] I split me nail. Oh, that looks terrible. [dials number] Hello? Gwenevere? It's an emergency! No, I haven't been biting them! [slaps his forehead in frustration] No! Can you just schedule me in? [shocked] Now? A manicure in the middle of the day? [whispers] But what if the guys see me? [stops whispering] Yes, I want my nails to look their best. Be right there. [takes secret underground passage to the front door and bumps into SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: Ahoy, sir. Where are you going?
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh. Heh heh. It's a... it's a secret.
  • SpongeBob: [gasps in shock] You have a secret?
  • Mr. Krabs: Everybody's got a secret, SpongeBob, and mine's gonna take 15 minutes. [looks at his nail] Maybe 20 if she can spruce up me cuticles. [notices SpongeBob is listening and puts his hands behind his back]
  • SpongeBob: Aye-aye, sir. And who will be "in charge" while you're gone?
  • Mr. Krabs: Eh... [looks over at Squidward, who is sleeping] Well, that's Squidward. [looks at a customer] No, no, him. [looks at another customer] Too lumpy. [looks at SpongeBob, who shines] Okay, okay, you're in charge.
  • SpongeBob: Whaaat?
  • Mr. Krabs: You're in charge for the next 15 minutes.
  • SpongeBob: I'm... in charge?
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, sure, why not? [SpongeBob starts shaking] You okay, boy?
  • SpongeBob: [flies around, leaving a rainbow trail behind] Yahow! [lands and salutes] I won't let you down, sir.
  • Mr. Krabs: What a sheesh. I'll be back in 15 minutes [Mr. Krabs leaves. Squidward is still sleeping, and SpongeBob wakes him up]
  • SpongeBob: Naptime's over, Squidward. Now what do you say we work real hard until Mr. Krabs comes back?
  • Squidward: Krabs is gone?
  • SpongeBob: Yep. And I'm in charge for the next 15 minutes.
  • Squidward: Wow.
  • SpongeBob: [giggles] Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal around here. I guess that's why Krabs put me in charge. [close-up of Squidward not listening three times] Charge. [sings] Charge. [Squidward falls asleep]
  • Squidward: Wake me up when I care. [SpongeBob looks at his watch]
  • SpongeBob: Do you care now?
  • Squidward: No.
  • SpongeBob: [looks at the customers and gasps] Heh-heh. Everything is under control, people. Go back to your Krabby Patties. Nothing your temporary man in charge can't handle. [tries to wake Squidward up] Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? Squidward? Squid? Squid? Squidward? Squid? Squid?
  • Squidward: [yells] What?!
  • SpongeBob: Well, it's just that I'm in charge and...
  • Squidward: [growls, but then gets an idea] And you interrupted my regularly scheduled Krusty Krab nap?
  • SpongeBob: Regularly scheduled nap?
  • Squidward: This must be important. Mr. Krabs has never interrupted one of these before.
  • SpongeBob: Really?
  • Squidward: But being as you're the [makes air quotes] man in charge, you must have your reasons.
  • SpongeBob: [sweating] Well, I, um...
  • Squidward: What is it?
  • SpongeBob: Um.. Nothing. Carry on. Boy, there sure is a lot of procedural type stuff I don't know about the Krusty Krab. [Squidward laughs then cuts to the scene where Squidward is watching TV]
  • SpongeBob: Order up, Squidward!
  • Squidward: You know, I'll let you serve this one. My stories are on.
  • SpongeBob: Gosh, I'd love to, Squidward, but I've got to cook the patties. [raises his spatula]
  • Squidward: So do it when you're done.
  • SpongeBob: [holds up a plunger] And unclog the sink.
  • Squidward: Hmm. Would you like to hear a secret?
  • SpongeBob: [appears right behind Squidward and slightly shocks Squidward] What kind of secret?
  • Squidward: See that guy over there? [points]
  • SpongeBob: Yes?
  • Squidward: He wants to be a fry cook, and you're his hero!
  • SpongeBob: Me?
  • Squidward: Why don't you give him a couple of pointers? Let him cook his own patty, and don't take "no" for an answer. He's shy. [laughs] This'll be good.
  • [SpongeBob walks up to Frank and nudges him]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, buddy. Yeah, it's me, SpongeBob, fry cook extraordinaire.
  • Incidental 105: Uhh... Hello.
  • SpongeBob: I know your secret.
  • Incidental 105: What? [whispers] Who told you?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, a little cashier told me! Follow me!
  • Incidental 105: Yeah, whatever you say, man!
  • [he takes him by the hand and leads him into the kitchen]
  • Squidward: Moron.
  • [in the kitchen]
  • SpongeBob: Betcha didn't think you'd be in here today, did ya?
  • Incidental 105: No.
  • SpongeBob: First off, this is my grill. This is where the magic happens! [shows him his spatula] And this is my actual spatula! So start fryin' up some patties! I'll check on you later, my little prodigy!
  • Squidward: Ha-ha! SpongeBob will believe anything! [laughs]
  • [SpongeBob comes out of the kitchen.]
  • SpongeBob: Order number 12!
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing?
  • SpongeBob: Taking out an order!
  • Squidward: You're serving Krabby Patties with your hands? Do you know how filthy your hands are?
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] They are?
  • Squidward: But, your feet, however, are nice and clean. Think about it. They've been protected by your shoes and socks all day.
  • SpongeBob: Ohhh! [he takes his shoe and sock off, then we see a close-up of his foot with a band-aid, and blisters]. It's all clear to me now. [cut to the next scene where SpongeBob is walking on his hands and serving a customer with his feet, on one foot there is a Krabby Patty, and on his other foot there is a drink] One Krabby Meal served with extra sanitary foot service. Your hot, steamy, juicy Krabby Patty, and a large drink. [he puts a straw in the drink by using his toes, then he bends the straw with his big toe. The customer flinches] Enjoy.
  • Incidental 7: Hey, is my food here yet?
  • Incidental 107: [hands over Krabby Patty and drink] Here. You can have mine.
  • Delivery Man: Delivery!
  • Squidward: [wakes up in shock] What? What?
  • Delivery Man: Here's the supplies you ordered. [delivery man squishes Squidward with the items] Sign here. [Squidward signs his name, but takes his pen away] Hey, my pen.
  • Squidward: [hands him his pen back] Oh, sorry.
  • SpongeBob: Oh! [sings] It's here, it's here, it's here, it's here! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo it's here!
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, what is all this junk?
  • SpongeBob: Now that I'm in charge, I've decided to redecorate the Krusty Krab! I'm gonna make it all pretty!
  • Squidward: Yeah, have fun with that.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward. I'm in charge, [hands Squidward some supplies] so you'll be having all the fun.
  • Squidward: Doing what?
  • SpongeBob: [quickly counting his fingers] Painting the walls, buffing the tables, sewing pretty curtains, washing the windows, varnishing the stools, hanging the ferns, waxing the toilets. Oh, you lucky dog!
  • Squidward: [growls, but gets an idea] Hey, SpongeBob, do you wanna hear another Krusty Krab secret?
  • SpongeBob: Huh?! Another Krusty Krab secret?
  • Squidward: Yep. Do you wanna know how Mr. Krabs gets all these customers?
  • SpongeBob: Yes...
  • Squidward: No expectations.
  • SpongeBob: What's that?
  • Squidward: He keeps the place a dump, so the food seems even better by comparison! So if you want to impress Mr. Krabs, you make it more filthy!
  • SpongeBob: More filthy?
  • Squidward: Throw trash on the floors, break furniture and never clean anything.
  • SpongeBob: Sounds like the Chum Bucket.
  • Squidward: Ah, but you'll be doing it on purpose.
  • SpongeBob: Ohhh! [cut to SpongeBob dumping garbage from trash cans all over the tables] How's this, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Lookin' good! [sips a soda]
  • SpongeBob: You mean, "lookin' bad!" Enjoy our fine décor!
  • Incidental 41: Next time, I'm picking the restaurant.
  • [SpongeBob mops the Krusty Krab with muck and grime, until it is totally covered in brown goop]
  • SpongeBob: One Krusty Krab, covered in mud and slime!
  • Squidward: [sips a soda] You missed a spot.
  • [he mops a customer and his food]
  • SpongeBob: Got it! [SpongeBob chews gum and spits it on the bottom of the tables] Gum under all tables! How's that for low expectations?
  • Squidward: Lower!
  • SpongeBob: Initiating stage two: collateral damage! [he throws a brick at the window, but it is thick glass and it bounces off and hits him in the face. He walks up to Squidward with his clothes tattered, him scuffed up with mangled hat, twisted eyelashes and a black eye] How was that?
  • Squidward: Perfect!
  • SpongeBob: [gives a thumbs up and smiles, showing his damaged teeth, one dangling from only a string of his gums] Ehh...
  • [there is a hole on the roof which was made by the brick from earlier
  • Incidental 40: This place is disgusting!
  • Fred: Yeah, let's get outta here, just as soon as I finish this delicious Krabby Patty.
  • [Fred eats a Krabby Patty while the customers leave in anger and disgust.]
  • SpongeBob: [SpongeBob grabs Squidward by the shirt and points to the customers, about to exit] Squidward, all the customers are leaving!
  • Squidward: What did we talk about?
  • SpongeBob: [lets go of the shirt] Don't touch the material?
  • Squidward: If you want the customers to stay, you need to provide some entertainment!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, can do, Squidward, can do!
  • Harold: Come on, let's go.
  • SpongeBob: Wait! You don't want to miss... this!
  • [he shrugs his shoulders up and flares his hands outwards while jumping and crossing his legs as he is dancing]
  • Incidental 7: What's he doing?
  • Incidental 40: He's... dancing! [he grabs his head by the sides, stands on his tippy-toes and moves his midsection in and out] Okay, people, just back away slowly... [he turns around, thrusts his rear out and kicks back a leg, one at a time, while making funny noises, and everyone backs away, creeped out]
  • [meanwhile, Mr. Krabs is on his way back to the Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ah, there's nothing like polished pincers to make ya feel like a man! [laughs] Let's see how SpongeBob's doing as acting manager. [he goes in through the door and is shocked at what he finds] What the...? SpongeBob dancing like a goofball?
  • [back view of SpongeBob leaning forward and swinging his arms]
  • SpongeBob: And a hey! And a ho! And a hey and a ho! And a hey, ho, how-ho, he-ho, ha, ho!
  • Mr. Krabs: Me customers cowering in fear?
  • [all the customers are huddled in the far back corner of the building]
  • Incidental 45: [shuddering] Help us.
  • Mr. Krabs: [gasps in shock] The Krusty Krab a filthy mess?!
  • [Incidental 105 holds a tray of food with a Krusty Krab hat]
  • Incidental 105: Order number 20 ready for pickup.
  • Mr. Krabs: [angry] And some stranger cooking Krabby Patties?! [Squidward is asleep snoring with the ordering boat tipped sideways] Squidward sleeping on the job?! Okay, that's actually normal. SpongeBob! What have you done to me Krusty Krab?!
  • SpongeBob: I was just following Squidward's advice, Mr. Krabs. He told me all your secrets.
  • Mr. Krabs: All me secrets? [stares at his newly-polished nails and then nervously hides them behind his back, sweating and chuckles nervously] So is there anything else I can do for ya, acting manager SpongeBob? [cut to Mr. Krabs doing the dishes, he chips a nail again] Ah! Guinevere!
  • [pan across the restaurant to show that random fish cooking, Squidward is asleep snoring, the Krusty Krab tables and interior are back to normal, and SpongeBob dancing in front of fearful customers to Russian music]
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