Template:BTranscript (SpongeBob's fog horn honks)
SpongeBob: Bikini Bottom pet show today! Good thing I put those notes there. Otherwise I could've forgotten. And I wouldn't wanna do that because the Bikini Bottom pet show is where you gotta go to see the best pets in town. Not than any other pet can take a chance against my buddy Gary. He's the bestest pet in the whole world. Love you, gar-gar. (Watch rings) Oh! The show starts in an hour! Hey, gar, coming to... Gary? Ow! Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary?
Perch Perkins: Looks like another beautiful day here in Bikini Bottom. It... Huh?
SpongeBob: Gary? Ohhhh! Gary? Oh, hiah, Squidward. Whoooooooaaaaa! Ohhhhhhhh! Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary, there you are. What are you doing here? Well, today is the day you show everyone else you're the best pet in the whole world. Now, for a quick checklist. Let's see, eye reflects. Check. Slime viscosity. (SpongeBob drags Gary's slime around his house, then, Squidward's house) Hi, Squidward. (Continues) Ready! Hi again, Squidward.
Squidward: Hello.
SpongeBob: Check. And last, but not least, a quick undercarrage check. (Gary hisses) Whoa, ok, maybe we should skip that one. Let's see... Yep, that's about does it. A second, buddy. I'll carry your shell. (Dogs bark)
Fish #1: Stand up straight.
Fish #2: Roll over.
Fish #3: Your newly trimmed hairstyles..
SpongeBob: Huh, people sure seem to treat their pets differently here.
Fish #4: That's a good boy, Foofie. Look at your gorgeous maine. Every single different snail has one.
SpongeBob: Gorgeous maine?
Foofie: Meow.
Fish #4: Oh, yes. All right, I guess your feelings. Your stubbing leash?
SpongeBob: All I have is a rope. I guess this isn't good enough.
Fish #4: Well, there's a chain that has a beauty kate. And he made his shell. And last, but, not least, well maine tain is his higine. Just look at his clean buttons.
SpongeBob:
Gary: Meeeoooowwwwwwwww.
Fish #4: Well, it's best if we run along. Foots. Goodbye for now.
SpongeBob: Pedicure? I don't know how how much has he been training?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: No, don't be so hard on me, Gary. I've been an horrible parent. No longer, from this moment on forth, I bow to Gary the most empty proposion quality, to look by the standards of grooming, and forward by: That guy.
Patrick: What's up?
SpongeBob: No, not you.
Patrick: Ok.
SpongeBob: Now, enough dilly-dallying and lets get down to business!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Hold still, Gary. Uhhhhhh! Come on, buddy! (Gary hisses and meows) Uhh! Uhh! There. Oh, you look like an cuddly present. (laughs)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: And for the least isons. Glow in the dark prey. Hey, where are you going? Gary, wait. We're gonna miss the pet show!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Because you gotta show those other pets you're as fancy as they are. (Gary's tongue spits) Oh, come on, Gary. You can do it this way. This thing is for you, not me.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: What I like to hear because I can bring this out. Your very own studded collar. It has rows of diamonds. Here, try it on. Now, let's get back out there and knock them out of their shells.
Gary: Meow.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, what are you doing?
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm so excited you happened to show up. (Whispers) (Gary triews to run away, then, SpongeBob grabs him from his place and put him in the bathtub) Gary, stop it. I'm only doing this because I love you. Gary, look, it's him.
Fish #4: Now, now, foof. Put your tail up, up, up.
SpongeBob: Hello. Sorry to bother you. I thought you could get in my opinion snail, Gary.
Fish #4: (laughs) My boy, don't seem to fool. There's only one way to have a pet's beauty. It is winning the pet contest. So, my boy Foofie has won in the past 5 years! (laughs) Oh, well, enough for visiting folks. we need our umbrella, Foof.
SpongeBob: This is it, Gary. It's our time to shine. Wow, Patrick. There sure is a lot of pet loving today.
Patrick: Yeah. You get carried, you don't have a chance.
Store owner: Excuse me, sir, but all non-pet owners must remain behind this rope.
Patrick: Now, what am I gonna do? I'm all alone behind this rope!
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm right here.
Patrick: I don't know, SpongeBob! Can't you understand how borning it is to be alone? I'm right behind this rope! (cries)
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Gary. He'll be back to watch us win first place. Let's scoop out the compition.
Fish #5: There you go, squggles. Here's your new hairdoo.
Fish #6: Here you go, mosteeze. Oh, you look so cute.
Mosteeze: Meeeeoooowww!!
Fish #6: (gasps) Mosteeze, how does it shade in your little eyes? And I also got an extra pair. Uhhhhhhhh!
(Growling)
SpongeBob: Well, we're gonna win, eh, Gary? Silly boy, you're not supposed to eat the leash.
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: Come on, boy.
Fish #7: Ok, let's try this cable.
Pet #1: (sighs)
SpongeBob: We sure are gusse today. You need a top hat or something yet. Oh, thanks for reminding me. Your collar was to light. (Gary coughs) Now, let's go get that top hat, Gary. Uhhhhhhhhhh! There you go.
Gary: Meow.
Judge: All right, let's see. Uh-huh. Decent Stalk Length. Oh, good hinge action. Ah, Foofie. Excellent bow stretch. Eyelid capalarries. Foofie is looking as any other person, Charles.
Fish #4: Oh, why, thank you, sir.
Judge: Ok, let's take a look and see, shall we? Ah, yes, good space on the larynx. Nice digestive chamber. All within breed description.
SpongeBob: It's in the bag.
Judge: Ok, now, let's check the under carrige.
Gary: Meoooooowwwwwww! (everyone gasps)
SpongeBob: Gary, no! Gary, you spit him out right now! I'm sorry. He usually bites me.
Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Pets: Meow, meow, meow, meow.
Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Pets: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Gary: Meow, meow! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Meooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww!!
Pets: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Fish #8: Wubbzy, you're angry.
Pets: Meow, meow, meow, meow!
Fish #9: What's going on?
Pets: Meesssssss! Meow! Meow! Meow!
Fish #4: Oh, those pets look angry. You wouldn't misbehave like all those pets, huh, foofie?
Foofie: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
Fish #4: Foofie?
Foofie: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!! Sssssssssssss!!
Fish #4: Foofie!
Pets: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Pet #2: Grrrrohhhhhhhhhhhh! Meow!
Pet #3: Ohhhgrrrrrrr...
Fish #6: Easy, boy... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Fish #10: What's going on? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!
Pet #4: Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!
Fish #11: Ahhhhhhhhhhohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Pet #5: Uhh!
Fish #12: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Pets: Grrrrrrohhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Ruff, ruff!
Fish #4: Foofie, what have you done?
Foofie: Grrrrrrrrrrrr...
Fish #4: What's this about? Does anyone speak snail?
SpongeBob: I'll do it. I know what they're saying. They're saying: "Owners, owners, owners, owners, owners, owners, owners. Please, please, please, please." They're saying: "We don't want to be this. We want to be pantients, not dress-up dolls." They don't want scrachy outfits. They want to be off of jury, patients, and collars. They want to be free from being patchints. I like this.
Pets: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
SpongeBob: Well, at least you were all along, Gary.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Well, it won't happen again.
Judge: Well, I think we agreed to have the trophy that goes to: SpongeBob and his wonderful pet!
SpongeBob: Did you hear that, Gary? We were just standing up against justice. Maybe these super patchients aren't good after all.
Judge: What are you talking about? The snail didn't win, I was referring to your other pet. He's so adorabul.
Patrick: Woof, woof! (Sticks his tongue out)