SpongeBob: Bikini Bottom pet show today! Good thing I put those notes there. Otherwise I could've forgotten. And I wouldn't wanna do that because the Bikini Bottom pet show is where you gotta go to see the best pets in town. Not that any other pet can take a chance against my buddy Gary. He's the bestest pet in the whole world. Love you, gar-gar. [Watch rings] Oh! The show starts in an hour! Hey, gar, time to... Gary? Ow! Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary?
Perch Perkins: Looks like another beautiful day here in Bikini Bottom. It... Huh?
SpongeBob: Gary? Ohhhh! Gary? Oh, hi ya, Squidward. [Squidward kick him out of his house through the window] Whoooooooaaaaaa! Ohhhhhhhh! Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary, there you are. What are you doing here? Well, today is the day you show everyone else you're the best pet in the whole world. Now, for a quick checklist. Let's see, eye reflects. Check. Slime viscosity. [SpongeBob drags Gary's slime around his house, then, Squidward's house] Hi, Squidward. [Continues] Ready! Hi again, Squidward.
SpongeBob: Check. And last, but not least, a quick undercarriage check. [Gary hisses] Whoa, okay, maybe we should skip that one. Let's see... Yep, that's about does it. A second, buddy. I'll carry your shell. [Dogs bark]
Fish #1: Stand up straight. Posters everything in appearance.
Fish #2: Roll over.
Fish #3: Your newly trimmed hairstyles highlight your regality.
SpongeBob: Huh, people sure seem to treat their pets differently here.
Charles: That's a good boy, Foofie. Look at your luxurious mane. Every single different snail has one.
SpongeBob: Luxurious mane?
Charles: Oh, yes. All right, I guess your feelings. Your stubbing leash?
SpongeBob: All I have is a rope. I guess this isn't good enough.
Charles: Of course, there's a chain that has a beauty Kate. The glossy painted shell. And last, but, not least, well mane tail is his hygiene. Just look at his clean buttons.
SpongeBob: Uh Gary?
Charles: Well, it's best if we run along, Foofs. Your pedicure is in half an hour.
SpongeBob: Pedicure? I don't know how much has into this.
SpongeBob: No, don't be so predictive on me, Gary. I've been an horrible parent. No longer, from this moment on forth, I bow to give my Gary the most empty proposition quality, to look by the standards of snail grooming, Set forth by: That guy.
Patrick: What's up?
SpongeBob: No, not you.
SpongeBob: Enough dilly-dallying and let’s get down to business!
SpongeBob: Hold still, Gary. Uhhhhhh! Come on, buddy! [Gary hisses and meows] Uhh! Uhh! There. Oh, you look like a little cuddly present. [laughs]
SpongeBob: And for the peace and resistance. Glow in the dark paint. Hey, where are you going? Gary, wait. We have to get back to the pet show!
SpongeBob: Because you gotta show those other pets you're as fancy as they are. [Gary's tongue spits] Oh, come on, Gary. Don't be this way. I'm doing it for you, not me.
SpongeBob: That's what I like to hear because I can bring this out. Your very own studded collar. With two rows of diamonds. Here, try it on. Now, let's get back out there and knock them out of their shells.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, what are you doing?
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm so glad you happened to show up. Help me. [Whispers. Gary tries to run away, then, SpongeBob grabs him from his place and put him in the bathtub] Gary, stop it. I'm only doing this because I love you. Gary, look, it's him.
Charles: Come, now, Foof. Put your tail up, up, up.
SpongeBob: Hello. Sorry to bother you. I thought you could get in my opinion on my snail, Gary.
Charles:[laughs] My boy, don't seem to get it do you? There's only one way to have a pet's beauty. By winning the pet contest. But I wouldn't bother. Seems how Foofie and I have won in the past 5 years! [laughs] Oh, well, enough for visiting folks. Let's go win our medal, Foof. [Opens his umbrella as he and Foofie files over to the pet show]
SpongeBob: This is it, Gary. It's our time to shine. [He, Gary and Patrick got in the pet show] Wow, Patrick. There sure is a lot of pet loving today.
Patrick: Yeah. You and Gary don't have a chance.
Store owner: Excuse me, sir, but all non-pet owners must remain behind this rope.
Patrick: Now, what am I gonna do? I'm all alone behind this rope!
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm right here.
Patrick: You don't understand, SpongeBob! You'll never understand how boring it is to be alone behind the red rope! [cries and runs away]
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Gary. He'll be back to watch us win first place. Let's scoop out the competition.
Fish #5: There it is, Mrs. Squiggles. Your new hairdo.
Fish #6: There you go, Mosteeze. Oh, isn't that cute.
Fish #6:[gasps] Poor Mosteeze, Your shades shake right off your little eyes? Lucky I got an extra smaller pair. Uhhhhhhhh! [Puts it on Mosteeze's eyes]
SpongeBob: Hmm Maybe you needs some shades, eh, Gare? [Sees Gary eating his leash] Silly boy, you're not supposed to eat the leash.
SpongeBob: Come on, boy.
Fish #7: Now, let's try this cable.
SpongeBob: Boy these pets sure are gussied today. You need a top hat or something yet. Gary? Oh, thanks for reminding me. I didn't know your collar was loose. [Gary coughs] Now, let's go get that top hat, Buddy. Uhhhhhhhhhh! There you go.
Judge: All right, let's see. Uh-huh. Decent Stalk Length. Oh, good hinge action. Ah, Foofie. Excellent bow stretch. Eyelid capillaries. Foofie is looking as any other person, Charles.
Charles: Oh, why, thank you, sir.
Judge: Okay, let's take a look and see, shall we? Ah, yes, good space on the larynx. Nice digestive chamber. All within breed description.
SpongeBob: It's in the bag.
Judge: Now, if we can just check the under carriage.
Gary: Meoooooowwwwwww! [everyone gasps]
SpongeBob: Gary, no! Gary, you spit him out right now! I'm sorry. He usually bites me.
Charles: What a hideous display. At least I know you wouldn't behave like all those havens, right, Foofie?
Foofie: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!! Sssssssssssss!!
Pets: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!
Gary: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow! [Flames burn as the sign Bikini Bottom Pet Show turns into Pet Riot]
Mrs. Squiggles: Grrrrohhhhhhhhhhhh! Meow!
Fish #6: No Mosteeze No!!!... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Fish #10: No wait! Wait! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!
Fish #11: Ahhhhhhhhhhohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Fish #12: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Pets: Grrrrrrohhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Ruff, ruff!
Charles: Foofie, what have you done?
Charles: What's this about? Does anyone speak snail?
SpongeBob: I'd speak a little bit, sir. I know what they're saying. They're saying: Owners, owners, owners, owners, owners, owners, owners. Please, please, please, please please, please, please don't be this way They're saying: We don't want to be this type of pampering. We want to be treated as companions, not dress-up dolls. They don't want scratchy outfits. They want to be Scratch. They are protested with the indignity of wigs and off of jury, patients, and collars. And they wanted to be free from being in decorated pageants. Like these.
Pets: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
SpongeBob: You were trying to tell me that all along Weren't you, Gary?
Gary: Meow meow.
SpongeBob: Well, I won't let it happen again.
Judge: Well, I think we can all agreed that this year’s groomers cup goes to: ... SpongeBob and his wonderful pet!
SpongeBob: Did you hear that, Gary? They're rewarding you for standing up and speaking out against in justice. Maybe these pageants aren't so super official after all.
Judge: What are you talking about? The snail didn't win, I was referring to your other pet. He's so adorable.