"Grandma's Kisses" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season two. In this episode, SpongeBob is embarrassed that he gets kissed by his grandmother.
SpongeBob visits his grandmother's house, where he indulges in the joys of childhood: eating homemade cookies, licking batter off the spoon, and being told stories. As soon as the clock strikes 3:00 PM, SpongeBob has to go back to work and is given a ride there by his Grandma. When they arrive, she kisses him goodbye, leaving a kissy mark that is visible on his forehead.
SpongeBob is then teased by everyone at the Krusty Krab and runs home crying. At home, Patrick consoles SpongeBob about this, recommending that he show his Grandma that he is not a baby anymore by acting like an adult. SpongeBob and Patrick go to Grandma SquarePants' house wearing false sideburns. When she answers the door and tries to kiss him, SpongeBob cuts her off, explaining to her that he is an adult now.
Grandma offers them cookies which, while SpongeBob refuses, Patrick gladly gobbles down. When SpongeBob confronts him on this about-face, Patrick exclaims that being a grownup is boring and that he enjoys being treated like a baby. SpongeBob attempts to eat a cookie himself, but Grandma stops him, giving him nutritious steamed coral instead. She moves on to story time, telling Patrick a whimsical tale while giving SpongeBob a thick technical manual to read by himself. She then gives Patrick a sweater "with love in every stitch," while SpongeBob receives unwrapped office supplies. Soon, the clock strikes 3:00 PM and she reminds SpongeBob to go to work while she sets Patrick down for a nap.
SpongeBob starts walking towards the door, commenting on how his busy adult life will make it hard to visit very often. As his grandma seems unconcerned with this, SpongeBob eventually leaves. However, he bursts back inside, his manly sideburns falling away. He sobs that he doesn't want to grow up, that wants to be treated as a baby again and live like one: eating cookies, drinking from bottles, wearing diapers and homemade sweaters, riding in a red wagon, cuddling with a teddy bear named Mr. Stuffykins, rocking on a wooden seahorse, and getting kisses on his boo-boos. He then cries so intensely that he floods the house.
Grandma calms him down and pulls a plug in the floor to drain his flood of tears. She tells SpongeBob that he does not have to be a baby to get her love and that he will always be her baby no matter how grown up he gets. She presents him with a cookie in one hand and his fallen sideburns in the other. SpongeBob gladly accepts them both, but asks her to not bring it up at The Krusty Krab, to which she warmly replies, "No problem." As SpongeBob and his Grandma embrace, however, Squidward and the Krusty Krab customers peer in through the window, laughing wildly as the episode ends.
SpongeBob and Patrick in a deleted scene from storyboard
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Domestic Fun (a) - Ernest Tomlinson [title card]
‣ Romance and Rhapsody - Felton Rapley [opening]
‣ Spindlelegs - Cedric King-Palmer [cookies]
‣ In the Cradle (a) - Dick Stephen Walter [Grandma telling a story]
‣ Hackney Carriage - Cedric King-Palmer [Grandma drops SpongeBob off at work]
‣ Tomfoolery - David Snell [everyone making fun of SpongeBob]
‣ Hawaiian Link (b) - Richard Myhill [SpongeBob runs out crying]
‣ Deadline - Sam Spence [puffed out chests]
‣ Pressure Point - Duncan Lamont ["Now, you must acquire a taste for freeform jazz."]
‣ Deadline - Sam Spence ["This is it."]
‣ Hawaiian Link (a) - Richard Myhill [sideburns]
‣ Dramatic Encounter - Gregor F. Narholz [Grandma about to kiss SpongeBob]
‣ Airs and Graces (a) - Paddy Kingsland ["Sorry, Grandmother, but the kissing has to stop."]
‣ Harp Ding - Nicolas Carr [plate of cookies]
‣ Gator - Steve Belfer [Patrick eating cookies]
‣ SpongeBob Closing Theme - Steve Belfer, Nicolas Carr ["Patrick, what are you doing?"]
‣ A Day by the Sea - Dick Stephen Walter [story time]
‣ Steel Sting (g) - Jeremy Wakefield ["Don't I get a present, Grandma?"]
‣ Twinkle Toes - Fred Woods [Patrick takes a nap]
‣ Stack of Leis - Kapono Beamer ["I don't want to grow up!"]
‣ Romance and Rhapsody - Felton Rapley ["I don't?"]
‣ Hawaiian Link (a) - Richard Myhill [ending]
- "Grandma's Kisses" was ranked #17 during the Best Day Ever event on November 9–10, 2006.
- As of February 13, 2017, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 8.7/10 based on 302 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a rating of 8.7/10 based on 155 votes.
- There are thirteen cookies on the title card.
- Running gag: SpongeBob's grandma leaving kiss marks whenever she kisses someone or something.
- This is the first appearance of Grandma SquarePants.
- When Grandma drops SpongeBob off for work, the steering wheel is on the right side of the car. This would make it a non-American car.
- In the original storyboard, the "sideburns" worn by SpongeBob and Patrick were a mustache.
- This is the third episode where the Krusty Krab appears without Mr. Krabs.
- This is the first episode in which Tomfoolery plays.
- When Patrick tells SpongeBob he has to acquire a taste for free-form jazz, it has become a internet meme.
- It reveals that when SpongeBob was a baby, he ate cookies, drank milk, wore a sweater with love in every stitch, wore diapers, rode in a wagon, had a rocking seahorse, and had story time.
- In the final scene, the kitchen changes locations.
- When SpongeBob gets home, the kiss mark is missing, but at the Krusty Krab, it does not come off.
- When SpongeBob asks "I don't?," his reflection looks like his mouth does not move and is open as if he were still crying.
- It is unknown how Squidward and the other fish found Grandma SquarePants' house.
- When Patrick uses his mouth as a vacuum cleaner to eat his cookies, one can clearly see that he's eaten all of them, but one rolls out.
- When Squidward and all of the Krusty Krab customers are seen laughing at SpongeBob hugging his grandma at the end, Harold "Bill" Reginald is green instead of blue.
- A fish is talking to SpongeBob and at one point, his arm is not on his body.
- A glass of milk and a plate of two cookies are shown on the table when Patrick says, "Besides, I don't get jazz," but in the next shot, when SpongeBob starts blowing bubbles out of his pipe, they are both gone.
- In the first shot, Clayton is blue. In the second shot, he is purple. In the following shot, he is blue again.
- After SpongeBob says, "What am I waiting for?" before he runs to his grandma's house, his tie and collar fold are missing from his shirt.
- When SpongeBob says, "Tell me another story about when I was a baby," his eyelashes are missing.
- Patrick is not seen when SpongeBob is crying.
- It could be that he went into another room.