Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
Register
Advertisement
Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Gramma's Secret Recipe" from season 7, which aired on July 6, 2010.

  • [at Shady Shoals rest home]
  • Grandma Plankton: How about a little more, Plankton, or has this old granny had enough for one night?
  • Plankton: Oh, Grandma, you know I always have more pudding for you!
  • Grandma Plankton: Oh, that looks simply delightful!
  • Plankton: You once told me that this was your favorite flavor growing up as a child.
  • Grandma Plankton: Ration?
  • Plankton: Uh, no, chocolate. Open up! [feeds the pudding to his Grandma] You can let go of the spoon now, Grandma. There. Oops, looks like you've got a little on your face. Here, let me. [wipes off the pudding] There you are. There you are, darling.
  • Grandma Plankton: Oh, Plankton. You always were my favorite granddaughter!
  • Nurse: Five minutes until bedtime, Mr. Plankton.
  • Plankton: Well, Grandma, that's the sweetest, most tender...
  • Nurse: Five minutes, Mr. Plank...
  • Plankton: I heard you the first time! Now, where were we? [Grandma is asleep] Grandma, don't forget your teeth.
  • Grandma Plankton: [spits out teeth and coughs]
  • Plankton: Ooh. Uh, uh, now, now, Grandma, just relax. There, there. [Grandma is asleep] That's perfect! [puts the teeth in his mouth] Perfect! [laughs evilly] Why didn't I think of this before? No one can say "No" to a helpless little grandma! thinking. He is at the Krusty Krab. female voice] Excuse me, Sonny, I'd simply love one of your Krabby what's-it's, but my delicate digestive system has special needs, and I'll need to see a complete list of ingredients. You wouldn't want me to be up all night with painful bloating, would you?
  • Mr. Krabs: Goodness, no! [gives the formula to "her"] Here you are.
  • Plankton: Thanks, Sonny! I'm just going to take it home; I left my bifocals there. [laughs evilly as imagery fades. Bubble transition]
  • SpongeBob: La-la, la-la, la-la! La-la, la-la, la-la... [playing in the bathtub. He shoots a squirt of water with his hands. The squirt of water goes through his holes at the top of his head then lands on the bar of soap] Yay, a direct hit! [uses a bar of soap as a walkie-talkie] Threat neutralized, Captain. ... Roger. Over. ... Uh-huh. Right away, Captain. All hands, prepare to dive! Repeat: prepare to di-- [Plankton, disguised as Grandma knocks on the door. He clears his throat] Hi, lady!  
  • Plankton: [female voice] Why, SpongeBob. Don't you recognize me?
  • SpongeBob: Ehh, not really...
  • Plankton: It's me, your dear old great-grammyma!
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] Quick, come inside! [inside of the pineapple] Wow, my very own great-grammyma. Why have we never met?
  • Plankton: I want to know all about your life—your job, where the secret formula is... [stammers] I mean...
  • SpongeBob: I'm so glad you came back... [rubs his finger across Plankton's chin] ...Double-Great Grammyma. [Plankton pushes it away and shudders] You're cold. Let's wrap you up in something nice and cozy. [Bubble transitions over to Plankton wrapped up in a blanket on a couch] Okay, lean forward. [Plankton grumbles as he does so. SpongeBob puts a pillow behind his back] There we go, now lean back, Grammyma. It's the coziest pillow I have. [Plankton does so but sinks into the pillow. He is yelling from it. SpongeBob reacts] How about we look through some old family photo albums? [SpongeBob runs to get them but Plankton is still stuck in the pillow. Cuts to SpongeBob laughing] Here's a picture of me when I developed my first appendage. [a picture of flattened SpongeBob tied to a balloon] Pretty neat photo album, eh, Double-G Grammyma? 
  • Plankton: It was certainly interesting, but I'd like to hear about your more recent affairs, like where you work, for instance.
  • SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha, ha, don't worry. I've got pictures of that too... [shows stacks of photo albums] ...but we have a couple more from my early childhood to get through first.
  • Plankton: Never let it be said that I didn't suffer for my occupation. [it is night which turns to morning and rooster crows everyone up. SpongeBob and Plankton are asleep. SpongeBob wakes up and exclaims. He looks happily at Plankton]
  • SpongeBob: Great-Graaaaaaamyma...?
  • Plankton: Huh?!?! Oh, I had the most horrible dream of my life! I was dressed up as...! [looks up to see SpongeBob still looking happily at him] Holy mother of Neptune, it's true.
  • SpongeBob: Good morning. I'll go and fix us a nice breakfast, and then we'll spend the whole day together!
  • Plankton: Uh, sounds delightful. [takes off glasses. evilly laughs] Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. [puts on more lipstick. Bubble transitions over to SpongeBob and Plankton walking down the street]
  • SpongeBob: So, Grammyma, what kinds of things do you active seniors like to do?
  • Plankton: Actually, SpongeBob, I said I wanted to see your life, remember?
  • SpongeBob: Hmmmm... [flashback of Plankton]
  • Plankton: I want to know all about your life—your job, where the secret formula is... [stammers] I mean...
  • SpongeBob: [goes back to the present] No, you couldn't possibly care about any of that stuff. Your life must be way more full and exciting.
  • Plankton: Well, uh...
  • SpongeBob: [grabs Plankton by the arm and carries him] Come on, it'll be fun! [Bubble transitions over to the place called "Grandma's Tea House." SpongeBob drinks tea] Ahhh. Isn't this tea delicious, Grandma?
  • Plankton: Why, yes! [drinks the tea then spits it out on a coaster] How can you drink this dreck?! [all of the grandmas gasp] Heh, heh, heh, heh... What I meant to say was, "More, please." [bubble transitions to other grandmas and SpongeBob knitting]
  • SpongeBob: Knitting circles sure are fun, eh, Grammyma?
  • Plankton: Nope. [he has his arms in a yarn circle]
  • SpongeBob: Why are you not having fun?
  • Plankton: Why?! Because I don't knit, you nitwit! [his yarn circle gets pulled and so does he by a grandma]
  • SpongeBob: Are you sure? 'Cause you make a real nice scarf. [Plankton is knitted into a scarf. Bubble transitions over to Plankton and SpongeBob playing Canasta. Plankton puts down a Joker card with his cards the A of clubs, the two of spades, and the five of diamonds] Oh, Great-Grammyma, you win again. All hail the great Canasta "masta"! [Plankton takes his Joker card and rips it in half and throws it on the table] Grandma, you getting bored?
  • Plankton: No, I'm getting hungry. I can feel my own stomach acids eating away at my organs. I could eat a village!
  • SpongeBob: Would you settle for a Krabby Patty?
  • Plankton: [reacts] Would I? [laughs maniacally, then clears his throat] Uh, yeah, I would. [bubble transition over to SpongeBob and Plankton walking to the front entrance of the Krusty Krab] Uh, SpongeBob, would you mind terribly if we used the rear entrance? I'm a little shy around new people.
  • SpongeBob: Hmm... Hey, Grammy, do antenna run in our family?
  • Plankton: Antenna... What?! No, I...!
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] Oh-ho-ho-ho! Ah, she really is shy. Nobody ever uses this door except for me and... [Squidward bursts open the front door holding a garbage bag] ...Squidward!
  • Plankton: AAAH!
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, you have been warned about lurking back here on your days off!
  • SpongeBob: I'm just bringing in my great-grammyma for some lunch.
  • Squidward: Your... what?
  • SpongeBob: My great-grammyma! [points to Plankton but he's not there] She must be hiding. Well, she did say she was shy.
  • Squidward: Right... [starts dumping the garbage in the trash can] SpongeBob, I promise not to tell Mr. Krabs about this if you promise that I don't have to see you again for the rest of the day. [Plankton is hiding in the trash can. He gets a lot of garbage all over him and starts coughing. SpongeBob walks over to the trash can]
  • SpongeBob: Grammy, there you are. I was starting to worry.
  • Plankton: Never mind. Just get me into the kitchen!
  • SpongeBob: [cuts to him and Plankton walking in the kitchen] Well, here it is.
  • Plankton: At last!
  • SpongeBob: Grandma, I'm just gonna go make sure the restrooms are stocked. You, know, real quick—it's part of my day-off duties.
  • Plankton: Okay. I'll be standing right here when you get back, and not off somewhere snooping around for the secret formula or anything.
  • SpongeBob: Ha, ha, ha... What?
  • Plankton: Nothing, go ahead! [laughs menacingly and pulls out a green balloon which is a decoy of him dressed as Grandma. He stretches it then blows it up] Let's see how this decoy floats your boat. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! [the balloon floats away and goes above Plankton who is checking under the dirty plates for the formula. The balloon lands in the drain of the sink]
  • SpongeBob: Okay, Grammyma, that's taken care of. I... [calls] Grammyma! She must've made her own way up to the cash register all by herself! Maybe I'll catch up on my dish-washing while I have the chance. [walks to the sink] The Krusty Krab manual says it is always a good idea to start by turning the garbage disposal on, just in case there is any leftover rubbish in the sink. [turns the garbage disposal on. The balloon starts ripping into a million pieces] Sounds like there's something stuck in the si- Grandma! [the balloon finishes ripping. Plankton looks up] Oh, I can't bear to look! [starts crying. Plankton thinks for a bit] Oh, Double-Great-Grammy-Grams, you were so soft and fragile like a... like a... like a... like a balloon!
  • Plankton: SpongeBob, SpongeBob, up here!
  • SpongeBob: Grandma, is that you? Are you all right?
  • Plankton: Oh! I'm all right, but I've been ground to a pulp. If only there was a nice, cool, safe place nearby, like a safe nearby, where I could rest and recover.
  • SpongeBob: Well, there is the safe where Mr. Krabs keeps the Krusty Krab secret formula that Plankton's been trying to steal for the past bunch of years, but I don't think he'd mind if my dear old grammyma rests in there.
  • Plankton: Why would he?
  • SpongeBob: [carries Plankton over to the safe, opens the safe which is filled with coins and cash and puts Plankton on top of a stack of cash] Here you go. I'll come back for you a little later.
  • Plankton: Oh, I feel better already. [begins snoring]
  • SpongeBob: Sweet dreams, Grammyma. [closes the safe. Plankton starts laughing menacingly and gets up]
  • Plankton: Sweet dreams, indeed, fool. Only this dream is about to become a nightmare, for Mr. Krabs! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...! [Grandma Plankton's teeth fall out] I'm just going to savor this moment, because for once in my life—for once in my life—I feel truly alive! [Grandma Plankton grabs her teeth]
  • Grandma Plankton:  Plankton! [Plankton gasps. Grandma Plankton takes her glasses off his face] You've been a very naughty boy, Plankton!
  • Plankton: B-But-But-But I... [Grandma Plankton takes her wig off his head] Grandma, I can... [Grandma Plankton takes her dress off Plankton's body]
  • Grandma Plankton: I've been looking all over for this stuff!
  • Plankton: Grandma, I can explain!
  • Grandma Plankton:  [grabs Plankton by his right antenna and drags him out of the kitchen] I'm sure you can. Plankton Jr., you know you always were a... [stops at one of SpongeBob's feet]
  • SpongeBob: Grandma? [gasps] You caught Plankton! Let me guess—trying to steal the secret formula, right?
  • Grandma Plankton: Get out of my way, rapscallion! [SpongeBob does so] I've had enough foolishness for one day. [Plankton groans. Grandma Plankton drags him out of the Krusty Krab. The episode ends]
Advertisement