[It is a normal day at the Krusty Krab. Or so everyone thinks. Plankton is disguised as a peppershaker. He steals a Krabby Patty from a customer]
Plankton: Ha! [runs out the Krusty Krab. However, Mr. Krabs picks him up from behind]
Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there, Plankton.
Mr. Krabs: I'll take that. [Gets the Krabby Patty from him]
Plankton: How'd you know it was me?
Mr. Krabs: Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it.
Plankton: Hmmm... perhaps a peppershaker was a bit obvious.
Mr. Krabs: You think! SpongeBob! [SpongeBob runs onto the scene]
SpongeBob: Wooo-ooo! [Krabs puts Plankton in his mouth]
Announcer:[off-screen] 3, 2, 1…, launch! [SpongeBob launches Plankton up in the air through his hat]
[Cut to the park. Plankton is on a bench]
Plankton: Never! Never! I'll never get Krabs' formula! Mr. Krabs is too stupid and is too powerful! If only there were a way to render him helpless!
Sadie:[with her baby] Oh, look at you, you're so small, tiny and helpless.
Plankton: Hey, I resent that!
Sadie:[she takes the bottle from her baby] Why, you're so tiny and helpless, I could drink your formula whenever I wanted to and you couldn't do a thing about it. [Baby Rechid starts crying, Sadie puts the bottle back into her baby's mouth and moves on]
Plankton: Something about that woman reminds me of my mother. That's it! Finally, victory will be mine! I'll turn Eugene Krabs into a powerless…baby.
[Cut to Mr. Krabs inside his restaurant]
Mr. Krabs:[A penny catches his eye] Ooh, a penny. [He sees a trail of pennies] A trail of pennies! [They lead him into a phone booth outside. Plankton pops in on the scene, and has a device on a pack on his back]
Plankton:[We see some green gas appear around Krabs] I've done it! Nothing can stop me now! My goo goo gas will transform Krabs into a tiny helpless infant! [He opens the phone booth, revealing Mr. Krabs as a baby. The key is right beside him] The key to the Krusty Krab. This is easier than I hoped. [Looks at Krabs] He's a little bigger than I imagined. [Krabs starts biting him] Ow! Ow! Ow! [releases him, but he can't reach for the doors]
SpongeBob: Hey, a baby! What are you doing out here alone, baby? I'll take charge of you until your mommy shows up! Oh, you're just too cute.
Plankton: Hello! If you're done making a total fool out of yourself, I could use some help with this lock.
SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Plankton. Here you go, little guy.
Plankton: Yes, my plan is working perfectly, now that I've turned Krabs into a helpless baby, the Krabby Patty formula will be mine! Hello.
SpongeBob:[looking at Plankton of what he just said] Police! Police!
Plankton:[getting arrested] Fools, you'll never hold me! Your primitive shackles are no match for my genius. [the cuffs are too wide, and he easily escapes] I'm free!
[Squidward walks up to the Krusty Krab, looking glum as always]
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward. Thank Neptune you're here. I found this baby all alone. But he wasn't really alone, he was with Plankton! And he's not a baby! It's Mr. Krabs! Plankton turned him into a baby so he could steal the Krabby Patty secret formula! [Baby Krabs burps in Squidward's face] What do we do, Squidward?
Squidward: I don't know about you, but I'm going on my coffee break. A very long coffee break. [walks away]
Plankton:[back at the Chum Bucket, talking to Karen] …and then that blasted sponge called the cops! That's just not cricket. [pouts] Now I'll never be a tyrannical overlord.
Karen: Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Next time, spray SpongeBob, too.
Plankton: Not sure.
Karen: Listen carefully. Spray...
Plankton: Now you're just talking gibberish. What I really need is to spray Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob.
Karen: That's just what I…
Plankton: I don't wanna hear all your loony schemes, Karen. I've got work to do!
[back at the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: What's wrong, Mr. Baby Krabs? You thirsty? [gives him some milk and he stops crying] That's it, drink up! [the bottle slips out of his mouth and he continues to cry] OK, maybe you're hungry? Do you want a nice soft Krabby Patty? [slaps it away and continues to cry] Not even a Krabby Patty helps. How about a stack of 20s? [shows a stack of $20 bills; Krabs takes it]
Plankton: Hands in the air!
Plankton: That's right, SpongeBob, I'm back! And you won't stop me this time. [Mr. Krabs turns into an adult, and SpongeBob turns into a baby] What? SpongeBob's a baby but Krabs is back to normal [sprays again. Mr. Krabs returns to his baby form as SpongeBob returns to normal, but is still wearing a rectangular diaper and is barefoot] It seems the second dose acts as an antidote! [he is turned back into a baby again] One squirt equals baby, two squirts equals adult! [sprays both of them once, and they come back to normal. They're still wearing their diapers] Or is it three squirts baby, four squirts adult. Barnacles, I've run out of gas!
Mr. Krabs: Ahem!
Plankton: Krabs! Nice diaper. [Mr. Krabs is about to throw him] Come on, come on! [throws him. cut to Plankton flying in the air] I've got it!
Mr. Krabs:[checking the mailbox] Better be something other than bills this time. [Plankton comes out] Plankton!
Mr. Krabs:[running back in the Krusty Krab] I can't tolerate your stinky gas!
Miss Shell: That makes two of us.
Dennis: I don't do it on purpose!
Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me, Plankton! Never! Ooh…another penny! Come to papa! Now were we doing?
Plankton: This! [sprays him] What's the matter, baby? Are you gonna cry? [Mr. Krabs is turned into a senior citizen] What the heck happened to you? This isn't baby gas! It's senior citizen spray!
Mr. Krabs: Eh? What was that, Sonny?
Plankton: Out of my way, Methuselah! You're old and useless. [SpongeBob comes out of nowhere]
SpongeBob: Hold it right there! Old people are out greatest natural resource! I salute you, elder citizenry!
Plankton: I'm getting old listening to this. Let's try this again! [sprays the gas on SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel.
Plankton: This baby gas is worthless! At least you're way too old to stop me from stealing a Krabby Patty!
SpongeBob: What was that, sonny?
Plankton: It'll take more time to explain than you have left.
Mr. Krabs: He's got the Krabby Patty! Catch him!
SpongeBob: Catch who?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Gesundheit.
Plankton: Victory is mine! [shaken by the sound of walkers]
SpongeBob: Come back here, you little whippersnapper!
Mr. Krabs: You kids get off my lawn! I'll catch up with you, boy!
SpongeBob: I'm catching up with my knitting.
Mr. Krabs:[hatches an idea] That's it! Knit, little nitwit!
Plankton: That was almost too easy. [is caught in a net] No! I demand you geezers release me!
Mr. Krabs: Right after the party. The piñata party.
Senior Citizens: That's for calling us old. I want candy!
[cut to the Chum Bucket, with Plankton in his lab, writing something on a chalk board]
Plankton: 1 squirt equals baby, carry over the 2 plus the square root of SpongeBob. Of course! The final ingredient I'm lacking! It's so simple yet so evil! And I know just where to get it.
[cut to Barg'n Mart]
Plankton: Excuse me, what isle did you get that from?
Shubie: You mean the Kelp-O?
Plankton: No, not that! The ugly drippy smelly thing.
Shubie: Are you talking about my baby, creep? [Chases Plankton with her cart. She ends up squashing him by running him over.]
Plankton: Ow ow ow! [moans] Baby powder? This could be just what I need! Hey buddy, is this made of real or artificial babies? [Shubie squishes Plankton again with her cart.] Ow ow ow ow! [Cut to the Chum Bucket] That powdered baby did the trick! Now my baby gas can't possibly fail!
Karen: Just like all your plans that "couldn't possibly fail?"
Plankton: What is it now, Karen?
Karen: I'm saying you should test your gas before you come running there all willy nilly!
Plankton: That's an excellent idea. And I know just the guinea pig! [Grabs the pack and points it at Karen]
Karen:[gasps] Plankton, don't you dare! [sprays her and a calculator falls to the ground]
Plankton: Karen! Speak to me! [the calculator types in "hello" as 07734 upside down] It worked!
[cut to the Krusty Krab, where the old Mr. Krabs is drinking a soda]
Plankton: Everyone say your ABCs! [sprays two people, who start crying] Now when you turn into babies, [sprays more people, who start crying] you stay babies! Hey, Krabs, catch! [The Trouble Song][He turns into a baby, who starts crying. SpongeBob comes out of the kitchen]
SpongeBob: What's wrong, little feller? [He is turned into a baby. They both cry. The other adults cry as they're turned to babies] [Cut to an ceiling scene of the Krusty Krab, where there is a chaos. Cut to the bathroom doors, with a baby next to it. Squidward enters, along with a gas bomb. the doors open and he turns into a baby. He cries also] [Patrick is also turned into a baby]
Plankton: My moment of triumph! [slips on some sort of blue stuff] What the...? [Baby SpongeBob, Baby Squidward, and Baby Mr. Krabs are seen slobbering, like all babies do] Oh, gross! I command you to stop drooling on me!
Baby Mr. Krabs: Goo!
Plankton:[he yelps. Baby Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton.] Put me down! [Baby Mr. Krabs just shakes him playfully as if he were like a rattle for babies] Ow! Stop it! I'm an adult! [Baby SpongeBob grabs Plankton, who screams. He burbles. Baby SpongeBob puts him in his mouth and sucks on him, then he spits Plankton as he lands on Patrick's back]
Plankton: Yeow! [He slides in Patrick's diaper. Baby Patrick farts as he laughs , and Plankton jumps out, screaming in terror. Baby Mr. Krabs is then seen sucking the Krabby Patty secret formula like a baby bottle] Huh? I don't believe it! Krabby Patty Formula! He's teething on it! [Baby Harold crawls in the background] Give it here, you big stupid baby! [Baby Mr. Krabs squishes Plankton with the bottle] Ow. [he squishes him 4 more times as Baby Thaddeus laughs. As Baby Mr. Krabs crawls away, Plankton emerges, groaning in pain] I've got it! Just like taking candy from a baby! Get it, Krabs? I'm taking candy from you![Baby SpongeBob starts playing with the gas] Hey! What are you doing? [the gas releases and it sprays Plankton] Uh-oh. [he shrinks until he is no longer seen as he is in another dimension with amoebas floating around him] Ahem! [he covers himself] Mama's evil little genius needs a diaper!