[It is a normal day at the Krusty Krab. Or so everyone thinks. Plankton is disguised as a peppershaker. He steals a Krabby Patty from a customer]
Plankton: Ha! [runs out the Krusty Krab. However, Mr. Krabs picks him up from behind]
Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there, Plankton.
Mr. Krabs: I'll take that. [Gets the Krabby Patty from him]
Plankton: How'd you know it was me?
Mr. Krabs: Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it.
Plankton: Hmmm... perhaps a peppershaker was a bit obvious.
Mr. Krabs: You think! SpongeBob! [SpongeBob runs onto the scene]
SpongeBob: Wooo-ooo! [Krabs puts Plankton in his mouth]
Announcer:[off-screen] 3, 2, 1…, launch! [SpongeBob launches Plankton up in the air through his hat]
[Cut to the park. Plankton is on a bench]
Plankton: Never! Never! I'll never get Krabs's formula! Mr. Krabs is too stupid and is too powerful! If only there were a way to render him helpless!
Sadie:[with her baby] Oh, look at you, you're so small, tiny and helpless.
Plankton: Hey, I resent that!
Sadie:[she takes the bottle from her baby] Why, you're so tiny and helpless, I could drink your formula whenever I wanted to and you couldn't do a thing about it. [Baby Rechid starts crying, Sadie puts the bottle back into her baby's mouth and moves on]
Plankton: Something about that woman reminds me of my mother. That's it! Finally, victory will be mine! I'll turn Eugene Krabs into a powerless…baby.
[Cut to Mr. Krabs inside his restaurant]
Mr. Krabs:[A penny catches his eye] Ooh, a penny. [He sees a trail of pennies] A trail of pennies! [They lead him into a phone booth outside. Plankton pops in on the scene, and has a device on a pack on his back]
Plankton:[We see some green gas appear around Krabs] I've done it! Nothing can stop me now! My goo goo gas will transform Krabs into a tiny helpless infant! [He opens the phone booth, revealing Mr. Krabs as a baby. The key is right beside him] The key to the Krusty Krab. This is easier than I hoped. [Looks at Krabs] He's a little bigger than I imagined. [Krabs starts biting him] Ow! Ow! Ow! [releases him, but he can't reach for the doors]
SpongeBob: Hey, a baby! What are you doing out here alone, baby? I'll take charge of you until your mommy shows up! Oh, you're just too cute.
Plankton: Hello! If you're done making a total fool out of yourself, I could use some help with this lock.
SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Plankton. Here you go, little guy.
Plankton: Yes, my plan is working perfectly, now that I've turned Krabs into a helpless baby, the Krabby Patty formula will be mine! Hello.
SpongeBob:[looking at Plankton of what he just said] Police! Police!
Plankton:[getting arrested] Fools, you'll never hold me! Your primitive shackles are no match for my genius. [the cuffs are too wide, and he easily escapes] I'm free!
[Squidward walks up to the Krusty Krab, looking glum as always]
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward. Thank Neptune you're here. I found this baby all alone. But he wasn't really alone, he was with Plankton! And he's not a baby! It's Mr. Krabs! Plankton turned him into a baby so he could steal the Krabby Patty secret formula! [Baby Krabs burps on Squidward] What do we do, Squidward?
Squidward: I don't know about you, but I'm going on my coffee break. A very long coffee break. [walks away]
Plankton:[back at the Chum Bucket, talking to Karen] …and then that blasted sponge called the cops! That's just not cricket. [pouts] Now I'll never be a tyrannical overlord.
Karen: Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Next time, spray SpongeBob, too.
Plankton: Not sure.
Karen: Listen carefully. Spray.
Plankton: Now you're just talking gibberish. What I really need is to spray Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob.
Karen: That's just what I…
Plankton: I don't wanna hear all your loony schemes, Karen. I've got work to do!
[back at the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob: What's wrong, Mr. Baby Krabs? You thirsty? [gives him some milk and he stops crying] That's it, drink up! [the bottle slips out of his mouth and he continues to cry] OK, maybe you're hungry? Do you want a nice soft Krabby Patty? [flicks it away and continues to cry] Not even a Krabby Patty helps. How about a stack of 20s? [shows a stack of $20 bills; Krabs takes it]
Plankton: Hands in the air!
Plankton: That's right, SpongeBob, I'm back! And you won't stop me this time. [Mr. Krabs turns into an adult, and SpongeBob turns into a baby] What? SpongeBob's a baby but Krabs is back to normal [sprays again. Mr. Krabs returns to his baby form as SpongeBob returns to normal, but is still wearing a rectangular diaper and is barefoot] It seems the second dose acts as an antidote! [he is turned back into a baby again] One squirt equals baby, two squirts equals adult! [sprays both of them once, and they come back to normal. They're still wearing their diapers] Or is it three squirts baby, four squirts adult. Barnacles, I've run out of gas!
Mr. Krabs: Ahem!
Plankton: Krabs! Nice diaper. [Mr. Krabs is about to throw him] Come on, come on! [throws him. cut to Plankton flying in the air] I've got it!
Mr. Krabs:[checking the mailbox] Better be something other than bills this time. [Plankton comes out] Plankton!
Mr. Krabs:[running back in the Krusty Krab] I can't tolerate your stinky gas!
Miss Shell: That makes two of us.
Dennis: I don't do it on purpose!
Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me, Plankton! Never! Ooh…another penny! Come to papa! Now were we doing?
Plankton: This! [sprays him] What's the matter, baby? Are you gonna cry? [Mr. Krabs is turned into a senior citizen] What the heck happened to you? This isn't baby gas! It's senior citizen spray!
Mr. Krabs: Ey? What was that, Sonny?
Plankton: Out of my way, Methuselah! You're old and useless. [SpongeBob comes out of nowhere]
SpongeBob: Hold it right there! Old people are out greatest natural resource! I salute you, elder citizenry!
Plankton: I'm getting old listening to this. Let's try this again! [sprays the gas on SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: I remember when a quarter used to cost a nickel.
Plankton: This baby gas is worthless! At least you're way too old to stop me from stealing a Krabby Patty!
SpongeBob: What was that, sonny?
Plankton: It'll take more time to explain than you have left.
Mr. Krabs: He's got the Krabby Patty! Catch him!
SpongeBob: Catch who?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Gesundheit.
Plankton: Victory is mine! [shaken by the sound of walkers]
SpongeBob: Come back here, you little whippersnapper!
Mr. Krabs: You kids get off my lawn! I'll catch up with you, boy!
SpongeBob: I'm catching up with my knitting.
Mr. Krabs:[hatches an idea] That's it! Knit, little nitwit!
Plankton: That was almost too easy. [is caught in a net] No! I demand you geezers release me!
Mr. Krabs: Right after the party. The piñata party.
Senior Citizens: That's for calling us old. I want candy!
[cut to the Chum Bucket, with Plankton in his lab, writing something on a chalk board]
Plankton: 1 squirt equals baby, carry over the 2 plus the square root of SpongeBob. Of course! The final ingredient I'm lacking! It's so simple yet so evil! And I know just where to get it.
[cut to Barg'n Mart]
Plankton: Excuse me, what isle did you get that from?
Shubie: You mean the Kelp-O?
Plankton: No, not that! The ugly drippy smelly thing.
Shubie: Are you talking about my baby, creep? [Chases Plankton with her cart. She ends up she ends up squashing him by running him over.]
Plankton: Ow ow ow! [moans] Baby powder? This could be just what I need! Hey buddy, is this made of real or artificial baby? [Shubie squishes Plankton again with her cart.] Ow ow ow ow![Cut to the Chum Bucket] That powdered baby did the trick! Now my baby gas can't possibly fail!
Karen: Just like all your plans that "couldn't possibly fail?"
Plankton: What is it now, Karen?
Karen: I'm saying you should test your gas before you come running there all willy nilly!
Plankton: That's an excellent idea. And I know just the guinea pig! [Grabs the pack and points it at Karen]
Karen:[gasps] Plankton, don't you dare! [sprays her and a calculator falls to the ground]
Plankton: Karen! Speak to me! [the calculator types in "hello" as 07734 upside down] It worked!
[cut to the Krusty Krab, where the old Mr. Krabs is drinking a soda]
Plankton: Everyone say your ABCs! [sprays two people, who start crying] Now when you turn into babies, [sprays more people, who start crying] you stay babies! Hey, Krabs, catch! [The Trouble Song [He turns into a baby, who starts crying. SpongeBob comes out of the kitchen]
SpongeBob: What's wrong, little feller? [He is turned into a baby. They both cry. The other adults cry as they're turned to babies] [Cut to an ceiling scene of the Krusty Krab, where there is a chaos. Cut to the bathroom doors, with a baby next to it. Squidward enters, along with a gas bomb. the doors open and he turns into a baby. He cries also] Patrick is also turned into a baby]
Plankton: My moment of triumph! [slips on drool] What the? [Baby SpongeBob,Baby Squidward, and Baby Mr. Krabs are seen slobbering] Oh, gross! I command you to stop drooling on me!
Baby Mr. Krabs: Goo!
Plankton:[Baby Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton and starts shaking him as if he were a baby rattle] Put me down! Stop it! I'm an adult! [Baby SpongeBob grabs Plankton. He babbles, then sucks him inside his mouth then spits him out as he is sent flying and he lands in Baby Patrick's diaper. Baby Patrick farts as he laughs, and Plankton jumps out, screaming. Baby Mr. Krabs is then seen sucking the Krabby Patty secret formula] Huh? I don't believe it! Krabby Patty Formula! He's teething on it! [Baby Harold crawls in the background] Give it here, you big stupid baby! [Baby Mr. Krabs squishes Plankton with the bottle] Ow. [he squishes him 4 more times as Baby Thaddeus laughs. As Baby Mr. Krabs crawls away, Plankton emerges, groaning in pain] I've got it! Just like taking candy from a baby! Get it, Krabs? I'm taking candy from you! [Baby SpongeBob starts playing with the gas] Hey! What are you doing? [the gas releases and it sprays Plankton] Uh-oh. [he shrinks until he is no longer seen as he is in another dimension with amoebas floating around him] Ahem! [he covers himself] Mama's little evil genius needs a diaper!