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Frozen Face-Off (transcript)

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Transcript Information
Frozen Face-Off Title Card
General
Season №: 8
Episode №: 156
Airdate: July 15, 2011
Chronology
Previous: Sentimental Sponge
Next: Squidward's School for Grown-Ups
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Frozen Face-Off" from season eight, which aired on July 15, 2011.

  • [episode starts on News Channel]
  • Realistic Fish Head: Bikini Bottom Action News! Tonight's top story: A wealthy entrepreneur, who wishes to remain anonymous, is sponsoring this year's sleigh race.[shows contestants getting ready] First prize: one million dollars! All of Bikini Bottom is entered, but only one hopefull will win. We join roving reporter Perch Perkins live at the scene.
  • [scene goes to the starting point of the race]
  • Perch: Attention is building up as the contestants line up to win the prize.
  • [cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick]
  • SpongeBob: Gary and I are gonna try to win the prize so Mr. Krabs can fix up the Krusty Krab. Right, Gary?
  • Gary: Moooow.
  • Patrick: I hear ya. I hope I win so I can buy all the Krabby Patties I want! It will be the run of the heavy artillery: Gooey Worms!
  • SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, those don't move.
  • Patrick: Sure they do! Giddy up![strikes Gooey Worms]Yeah! See?
  • [cuts to Mr. Krabs and Plankton]
  • Plankton: You don't stand a chance, Krabs! Karen and I--I mean, my worm and I, are gonna whip your tailfin![zooms out, showing Karen with a worm on her screen]Right, worm?
  • Karen: Gruf gruf.
  • Plankton: And with the prize money, I'll topple your restaurant and empire ONCE AND FOR ALL!
  • Mr. Krabs: Ha! When fetching money is involved, nobody topples me!
  • Announcer: Attention. Ready in your sleds.
  • Perch: [walks up to Squidward]Excuse me, sir. How do you think you'll do in the race?
  • Squidward: [grabs microphone]Hello, people of Bikini Bottom! I'm glad I'm finally talking to my fans on television![cuts to fish sleeping in front of TV]
  • Perch: [grabs microphone back]That's enough from ya.[walks away]Oh, excuse me, miss...
  • Announcer: On your mark...
  • Real Plankton: [sneaking away]So long, suckers.
  • Announcer: ...set, go![everyone takes off, except Patrick]
  • Patrick: Come on, wormies! Giddy up! Hmmmm...
  • [Timecard: Meanwhile, Back In the Lowlands...]
  • Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the lowlands...
  • [cuts to Krusty Krab, with "Gone Racin'" sign on]
  • Plankton: Alone at last! Now there's nothing between me and the secret formula! Hahahahaha!
  • [cuts back to race]
  • Mr. Krabs: Come on, boys! Get me to the green mats!
  • Fake Plankton: I think not, old man! Turbo boost, Karen![strikes Karen, Karen loads a turbo engine and runs past everyone, splashing snow on Mr. Krabs]
  • Mr. Krabs: [blinks twice]Nooo!! I can't let him win!
  • Sandy: Don't worry, he won't![pushes button]I will.[robot worms go faster and runs past others]Yeeha!
  • Patrick: [runs up to SpongeBob with only underwear and his 3 gummy worms]Hey, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Hi Patrick! Where's your sleigh?
  • Patrick: I don't know.[eats Gooey Worms]
  • SpongeBob: Hop in![Patrick hops in, Gary feels more weight, growls, and uses more strength]Come on, Gary!
  • [cuts back to the Krusty Krab]
  • Plankton: Hehehehe![hops onto Mr. Krabs' desk and tries to turn safe's handle]LOCKED?! Ugh.[takes out cutter]Good thing I brought this along.[tries to cut safe, but the cutter slides to the ceiling with Plankton, spins 3 circles, makes two holes in ceiling, falls off, cuts off Plankton's antennae, and rolls away]I'm gonna need something with more firepower.
  • [cuts to Sandy]
  • Sandy: Woo wee! Looks like I lost them![pushes button, but remote breaks]The remote shorted out! The robots,[???] Woah!![sleigh loses control]AAAA!!!
  • [cuts to Squidward]
  • Squidward: Those dimwits don't stand a chance against my imported worm.[sleight stops, worm starts to drink tea]Hey! What's the big idea?!
  • Worm: [???]It's tea time, anyway.[continues to drink tea]
  • Squidward: I don't have time for this![leaves sleigh, and goes by foot]Tea time. Of all the ridiculous concepts![walks onto ice, and slips, the ice cracks, and Squidward falls in, losing his winter clothes, and floats back up in a block of ice, with a shocked face]
  • [cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, singing]
  • Patrick: Woah! Look at that!
  • SpongeBob: Squidward! Free![stops]He doesn't look so "hot". We better take him with us.
  • Patrick: Good idea.
  • Gary: Mooow...[upset]
  • Patrick puts Squidward on the sleigh, SpongeBob strikes Gary. Gary pulls with even more strength, SpongeBob and Patrick continue singing, but stops after a few seconds after hearing moaning]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, do you hear that?
  • [Sandy struggles out of snow pile][cuts to later, with Sandy also on the sleigh]
  • Sandy: [shivering]Th-th-th-th-th-thanks, guys.
  • SpongBob: No problem, right, Gar?
  • Gary: Meow...[angry][continues to pull]Errrgg!
  • [cuts to Mr. Krabs]
  • Mr. Krabs: Sniff out the money, little guys! Come on! Marsh![worms' stomachs growl, and get angry at Mr. Krabs]Wai-wait a minute. I was gonna feed ya! Honest![worms get angrier]
  • [cuts back to SpongeBob and others, singing, except Squidward who is still frozen]
  • Mr. Krabs: [run up to them]Heeelp!
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: I just been turned into lunchmeat by me own worms![cuts to furious worms, chasing for him]
  • SpongeBob: AAAAA!!! Hop in, sir! We'll get you out of here!
  • Mr.Krabs: [quickly rushes into sleigh]Much appreciate it, boy![sleigh takes off, worms keep chasing]
  • Everyone except Squiward: Faster! Faster! Faster!
  • Gary: Mooowww...[tries to go faster]
  • Everyone: Faster! Faster!
  • [cuts back and forth between Mr. Krabs' worms and Gary]
  • Everyone: FASTER!![Gary runs in a dead end and stops, tired]
  • SpongeBob: This is a dead end![Gary turns around to see the worms entering the dead end]
  • Everyone: AAAAAA!!!
  • Gary: [like a lion]ROOOOOOOOARR!!![after worms run away scared, Gary turns back to normal]Meow.[Everyone stares at Gary for a few seconds, then cheers]
  • [cheering causes snow at the only road out the dead end collapses and covers the exit]
  • Mr. Krabs: Great. Now we're trapped.
  • [cuts to everyone around a fire, made with SpongeBob's hat, but still shivering.
  • Mr. Krabs: Good thinkin', squirrel! This should keep us alive for at least...a few hours...oh...
  • Patrick: [with ice on his l`ips]It's-s-s...so c-c-cold!
  • [SpongeBob's nose with ice on it breaks off, and the ice on Patick's eyelids shatter off. Gary get so cold he gets into his shell, and appearently he has a warm room with furniture in his shell, he sips his drink. Mr. Krabs' lips shatter off.]
  • SpongeBob: Hey! How about a campfire song?[Squidward thaws]
  • Squidward: NO! SINGING!!
  • Everyone: Squidward![hugs him]
  • Squidward: [pushes them back]Alright, alright! Someone get me a blanket.[SpongeBob gives him a blanket, Squidward puts it on but still feels cold]
  • Mr. Krabs: Hey Squidward, what is it with the extra foot, buddy?
  • Squidward: [looks down]Huh? This isn't mine...[foot lifts up]Waaaahhh!!![runs]
  • [Snow Mollusk breaks through snow]
  • All: AAAAAA!!!
  • Mr. Krabs: Not you again![Snow Mollusk sticks out 5 tongues from mouth]
  • Sandy: Ha! Slimeless snow vermin! You missed!
  • Mr. Krabs: That's weren't the attack.
  • Sandy: Huh? [Snow Mollusk pulls back tongues with snow on them]
  • Mr. Krabs: This is it!![Snow Mollusk starts shooting snowballs out of mouth]AAAA!!![Mr. Krabs hides behine a pile of snow, blocking the snowballs, Snow Mollusk aims for Gary]
  • SpongeBob: Gary![sheilds Gary with himself, the snowballs go into SpongeBob's holes, and they come out from the side holes. SpongeBob stands up and runs away with Gary. The Snow Mollusk aims for Squidward]
  • Squidward: [running]Ahhhhhh!! AAAAA!!![jumps into water]Oh...not again...[floats up in a block of ice again, but with a disappointed face]
  • Mr.Krabs: [???][everyone sneaks away, Sandy brings the sleigh]
  • SpongeBob: What is that formidable creature?
  • Mr. Krabs: That, me boy, is none other than the Abominable Snow Mollusk.
  • SpongeBob: I thought that was just a myth.
  • Mr.Krabs: Oh, you sure? She's no myth! She's as real as Santy Claus. Back when I was young sea captain,[flashback to when Mr. Krabs was a captain]sailing in the Alantic sea.[???][Snow Mollusk pops out of sea, young Mr. Krabs gasps, and Snow Mollusk picks up the ship]
  • SpongeBob: Don't tell me, Mr. Krabs. You peeled at those tentacles with your bare claws! You single-handedly saved your vessel from certain DOOM!
  • Mr. Krabs: Nope, that didn't work.[flashback continues][???][Snow Mollusk swallows all people on ship including Mr. Krabs]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, my! Well at least you bravely escaped out the tail.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Weren't braverly that got us out. Let's just say...We had to wait...for nature, to take its course.[flashback to people in Snow Mollusk's stomach, a bubble floats up and pops, then a flushing sound is heard]
  • SpongeBob: Hm? OH! Ew.
  • Sandy: I'd hate to break up story time, but I'd like to NOT GET EATEN today![Snow Mollusk's roaring is heard, and everyone gets on sleigh, Snow Mollusk finds them, they leave]
  • SpongeBob: Gary! Step on it![Snow Mollusk follows]Oh yeah, Gary, you are really motived now! Right, guys?[cuts to back of sleigh, and one of the seats are empty with a "Squidward" sign in its place]We forgot Squidward![sleigh takes a U-turn, and goes between the Snow Mollusk's tentacles]Left, Gary! Left! There he is![cuts to Squidward, frozen]Patrick, I need a Gooey Worm!
  • Patrick: Oh, be careful, this is my last one![hands SpongeBob a red Gooey Worm]
  • SpongeBob: Hold on tight![gives Patrick one end of the Gooey Worm and glides down holding the other one]
  • Gary: Meow.[as SpongeBob is saving Squidward, the Snow Mollusk finds him]
  • Patrick: SpongeBob! Come on![cuts to SpongeBob on Squidward, with Gooey Worm tied on ice block]Let's get outta here![pulls SpongeBob up, and Snow Mollusk lands on the water. When they are leaving, SpongeBob throws away the Gooey Worm, and falls into Snow Mollusk's mouth when she's getting up, she likes it]
  • Sandy: Woo, wee! That was a close one, wasn't it, Mr. Krabs? Huh?[in Mr. Krabs' seat, there is a pile of snow with coral as a nose and eyes]Of all the horn swabbles! The banit's trying to win us out so he can get the prize himself![throws fake out the sleigh, scene cuts to Mr. Krabs]
  • Mr. Krabs: Argargarg! I'd sooner swallow a jellyfish the winning with y--[jellyfish flys in Mr. Krabs' mouth and shocks him. Scene cuts back to others]
  • Sandy: We can't let that dumbacross beat us to the loot! Full speed ahead and don't stop for nothin', Gary!
  • Patrick: Hey![takes rope and stops Gary, making the sleigh fling Sandy out]
  • Sandy: [in snow]What's the big emergency, Patrick?
  • Patrick: I saw something shiny.
  • Sandy: [sarcastic]Oh! Well, let's drop EVERYTHING, then!
  • SpongeBob: No wait Sandy, I see it too! It looks like...Karen.
  • On TV, commercial break
  • SpongeBob: [helps Karen up]Karen?[Karen's screen shows a spinning hourglass]
  • Sandy: I say she should swip in a reboot! Heee ya![kicks Karen with boot, shattering the ice on her, Karen's screen shows a picture of a computer wife with words "Computer WIFE[progress bar]Loading..." beside it, and soon starts up. SpongeBob hears someone saying "you can't stand a chance, Krabs"]
  • SpongeBob: Huh?[sees fake Plankton and picks it up]Plankton?[fake Plankton says "don't tell Krabs"]Poor guy, the ice is really getting to him.
  • Patrick: [grabs fake Plankton]We gotta bust him out, quick! I'm gonna sit on him![puts fake Plankton on a rock, preparing to sit on it]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, no! He's very--[Patrick sits on fake Plankton]...fragile.[Patrick gets up, showing bits of metal with wires, a speaker, and an eye, broken, it says "Krabs zzz...stand zzz..."
  • Sandy: A citylacra!
  • SpongeBob: [covers Gary's "ears"]Sandy, please! Language!
  • Sandy: Naw, silly! I'm saying, Plankton set up a robotic dummy in his sled!
  • Karen: That's right. My selfish husband remains in warm, sunny Bikini Bottom,[???], in fact,[cuts to Plankton with fake Plankton and Karen in his lab]this whole race was a plot devised by Plankton.[cuts to Plankton sneaking away before the race]With the entire town distracted, he pursues the Krabby Patty formula undetected.
  • SpongeBob: Pursue? Formula? We've gotta find Mr. Krabs right now!
  • Sandy: And exactly how do you propose we find him?
  • Karen: I saw Mr. Krabs pass by[screen shows Mr. Krabs running]just before my system failed, heading southwest.
  • SpongeBob: Well, what are we waiting for?[picks Karen, Sandy, Patrick up and throws them into the sleigh, and gets in himself]You heard the lady, Gary, southwest! Marsh! Marsh![cuts to Plankton]
  • Plankton: [sprays safe with flamethrower]Hehehehe![touches handle, which is glowing red due to extreme heat]Yooooouch!![blows hand]So the safe isn't[???]of flame, eh? It seems as though I'll have to get a little more DESTRUCTIVE![accidentally takes out teddy bear, then puts it back]Ahem! I meant DESTRUCTIVE![takes out a stick of dynamite, scene cuts to SpongeBob and others, going up a steep hill]
  • Gary: [tired]Mooowww, meow meow meow moooww...
  • SpongeBob: A little more, Gary![sleigh gets to the tip of the hill, Gary sees a huge ramp below, screeches and gets in the sleigh.
  • All: AAAAA!!![sleigh goes down the ramp, flys into the air, turns a circle, bounces on three hill tops, and back on the road]
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: Ahh, whew.
  • Sandy: Look out![cliff ahead]
  • SpongeBob & Patrick: AAAAA!!
  • Sandy: Hold on, SpongeBob![picks up SpongeBob and throws him on another hill's tip, the sleigh goes in a circle with SpongeBob as the turning point, but Squidward, still frozen, flys off in the progress]
  • SpongeBob: [with brusies on face, missing teeth and extra long legs and arms]We made it! Right, Squidward?[cuts to Squidward falling down]
  • Sandy: Gasp! Oh my gosh! Patrick! Wing to the other side![Patrick turns, and the sleigh goes down following Squidward]Excuse me, ma'am(Karen)
  • Karen: What?[Sandy pulls off Karen's monitor, stands on SpongeBob, and uses the base's pole and sticks it into the block of ice Squidward is in, and pulls him in]
  • Sandy: Gotcha!
  • SpongeBob: Hey Sandy, have you given any thought to we're gonna--[sleigh crashes to the ground, making everyone flat]...land.[Snow Mollusk spots them, cuts to Krusty Krab's safe with sticks of dynamite wrapped around it]
  • Plankton[with a sheild]Fire in the hole![dynamite explodes, and safe is completly fine]Rats.[cuts back to SpongeBob and others]
  • Sandy: Look, fellas, I know it's cold. But let's just push forward and keep a lookout for a frozen crab![closes one eye]
  • Patrick: [with lots of ice on eyes]I can't feel my looking holes!
  • SpongeBob: The only thing I can feel is my empty stomach.[stomach implodes]
  • Sandy: You said it, SpongeBob! I already knawed through my[???][holds up empty nut bag]I'm getting to the point where I can eat just about ANYTHING![eyes get bloodshot and drools, then thinks SpongeBob is cooked and on a stick]Mmmm...sponge kabob...[shakes head]Hey Patrick, you got any more of that Gooey Worms on you?
  • Patrick: I wish I did. I lost my last one to the monster and now I'm so hungry! At least,[takes out bag of Jelly Beans]I still have this bag of Jelly Beans to hold me over.[eats a Jelly Bean]Hey! Is this taxi even moving?![Gary shivering]Come on, Gary!![Gary falls]
  • SpongeBob: Gasp! Gary![Gary's slime is frozen]Oh, you poor fella! We put you too hard to[???]Sorry, I won't make you[???]another inch.[puts Gary in sleigh]
  • Patrick: Great, now we're stuck.
  • SpongeBob: No, we're not! We'll--[pulls ropes, and his arms shatter]Hello, what's this?[cuts to a small anchor]Look! One of Mr. Krabs's sailor tattoos! It must've frozen off his brittle body.
  • Sandy: We must be heading in the right direction![cuts to Krusty Krab]

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