SpongeBob SquarePants

Free Samples (transcript)

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Transcript Information
Free Samples
Season №: 8
Episode №: 170a
Airdate: April 6, 2012
Previous: "Planet of the Jellyfish"
Next: "Home Sweet Rubble"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Free Samples" from season eight, which aired on April 6, 2012.

  • [Plankton laughs, squirts out chum on a plate, smells the chum and laughs again, Karen comes out of the door]
  • Karen: What do I own the sucessive volume of this giggling?
  • Plankton: You may thank my new original idea, darling. [Karen confused] Free samples. [Karen still confused]
  • Karen: New original my exhaustion?
  • Plankton: Okay, so I didn't invent the concept, but I improved upon it by removing the only obstacle to chum's success!
  • Karen: You mean the smell? [Karen starts laughing] Smell.
  • Plankton: Um, no. I mean getting the public to try some! Once everyone gets the taste of my delicious chum, they will tear this place apart just to get some. Plus it's free, and who could resist free! [scene cuts in Chum Bucket, Plankton is sitting on a bench near the store with free samples] Step right up for your free samples of delicious chum!
  • Nat: Hey, what did he just say?
  • Plankton: I just said they're free!
  • Nat: Oh, I thought he said freaks, in that case. [everyone goes in line] So glad, I actually left my house today.
  • [everyone gets some chum]
  • Plankton: That's the spirit, people. Step on up, please take your time and be orderly. I wanna savor this whole putting Krabs out of business. Business.
  • Sally: What is it?
  • Shubie: Who cares silly-big-milly it's free.
  • Sally: Oh it's going to be so good cause it's free!
  • [everyone starts putting the chum in their mouths then get surprised]
  • Plankton: Eat up. [Plankton laughs, and Shubie holds her stomach, Nancy and the Lifeguard turn green, Nancy's hair stood up, everyone was nauseous] I have no idea that chum was this rotten, I better not be here with all this agony turns to anger. [Plankton runs]
  • Nat: Hey, he's making a run for it we can't let him get away from this, let's get up and... [Nat was nauseous again, and he spoke in a deep voice].....get him.
  • [everyone, still sick, chases Plankton, Patrick comes up to the stand]
  • Patrick: Free samples. [Patrick eats one of the chum and enjoys it] Yum! [Patrick eats more chum]
  • [everyone was by the Chum Bucket, Lifeguard knocks hardly on the door]
  • Lifeguard: Hey, you, I know you're in there!
  • Plankton: It's not fair! If Krabs gives away free samples he wouldn't get this treatment!
  • Karen: If Krabs gave away free samples, he probably wouldn't poison people cause tarnishing the good name of his restaurant.
  • Plankton: Yeah, I suppose you right. [Plankton got an idea] Free krabby patties, step up, step up, you'll never get this chance again folks!
  • Harold: Free krabby patties?!
  • [everyone runs to the stand again]
  • Nat: Hey, what's all the hubble?
  • Nazz: Did'nt ya hear, someone's giving away free krabby patties!
  • Plankton: That's it. [laughs]
  • Lifeguard: Hey, wait a minute, are'nt you the same guy what was giving away that rotty chum samples before?
  • Plankton: [sweated nervously] Oh, that was'nt me that was... uh... my... brother-in-law, Flankton.
  • Lifeguard: Oh, okay.
  • [everyone eats the chum, Lifeguard's eyes poped out and his arms fall out, everyone else fall on the Lifeguard, Plankton comes out of the sewer]
  • Plankton: Krabby patties anyone?
  • [other people eats the chum, fish hurls]
  • SpongeBob: [singing] I'm off to work, off to work, getting ready to flipping. [SpongeBob sees people by the Krusty Krab] Those customers can't get enough krabby patties. Settle down folks I'm here, I shall have your krabby patties before you shortly.
  • Nat: No!
  • Lifeguard: You made those awful krabby patties what made my eyeballs fall out!
  • [SpongeBob got scared and slides into the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: Over here boy. [Mr. Krabs was hiding by the table]
  • SpongeBob: What is going on out there?
  • Mr. Krabs: My whole town turn against me and I have no idea why. [Lifeguard throws a brick with a note through the window] Because the krabby patty is terrible. [gasps] Krabby patty? Terrible? How do those words even go together?
  • SpongeBob: I don't know, but we have do something to turn this sitution around.
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're right. We have to do everything in our power to bring those customers back. We'll triple the prices.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, if you want to get customers in here shoudn't we lower the prices?
  • Mr. Krabs: Fine. [Mr. Krabs lowers the price from $2.99 to $2.98] How about that? [one of the customers throwed rocks] I'M RUINED!!! [Mr. Krabs starts crying]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, if you want your customers back, we need to take more extreme measures. We simply give krabby patties away for fr- [Mr. Krabs grabs SpongeBob's lip]
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't you say it, boy.
  • SpongeBob: It's the only way, Mr. Krabs. [SpongeBob was holding a stand] Alright, sir, it's time.
  • Mr. Krabs: Time? But it's too soon. [Mr. Krabs jumped to the stand] I'm not ready to let them go free.
  • SpongeBob: But you said to go ahead with the plan no matter how hard you fight me.
  • Mr. Krabs: I don't remember saying anything like that.
  • SpongeBob: I do. [SpongeBob pulled the sheet off, Mr. Krabs screams] Free krabby patties! Get your totally and completely free upcharge krabby patties!
  • Mr. Krabs: NO! [Mr. Krabs tried to run but his claws were in chains]
  • SpongeBob: It's for your own good, Eugene. Free krabby patties, come and get your free krabby patties! [the word "patties" echoed]
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh, for a second. I thought we have to give away a ton of krabby patties, but it look like free ain't even enough to jump start me business. Wait, free ain't even enough, my business is doomed! [starts crying again]
  • Plankton: I can't really believe how well this is turning out for me today. [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: Hmm, looks, it's time to pull out the big guns. [SpongeBob open the small doors and plays the calliope] No one can't resist the sweet sounds of a calliope.
  • Shubie: Hey look, Billy, a calliope.
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, here's your cup like we rehersed.
  • Squidward: I can't feel my legs.
  • SpongeBob: Here let me help you, Squidward [SpongeBob pulls Squidward's nose, Squidward went by Billy]
  • Baby Billy: Look, mama, a monkey! [Billy throws a penny at Squidward] Dance, monkey, dance! Dance, monkey!
  • [Squidward takes off his suit]
  • Squidward: I quit!
  • SpongeBob: Wait, Squidward, don't leave. We can't give up yet.
  • [Plankton laughs]
  • Plankton: Sweet and delicous victory you are mine!
  • [SpongeBob pulls up Mr. Krabs]
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, we'll fix this.
  • Mr. Krabs: Not this time boy, it's all over for the good old Krusty Krab, it's probably best if you start looking foward for a new job, boy, maybe in the different way like.
  • SpongeBob: You mean, different. [SpongeBob got an idea] That's it!
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, that was better, than I expected. Well only one more thing left to do now. I have to leave back with me mom.
  • Narrator: Five minutes later.
  • SpongeBob: Krabby patties, brand new krabby patty recipe, all new, all different, all delicousness, try them for free!
  • Nazz: You can't be serious.
  • Lifeguard: I'm so hungry, I don't care, I gotta eat something.
  • Nazz: No, wait!
  • Nat: Let him go, it's too late.
  • SpongeBob: All new free krabby patties!
  • Lifeguard: Hey, buddy, I'll try one, what do I got to lose. [everyone gasped, Lifeguard eats the half of the krabby patty] Dear Neptune Gill Sacks, this is the best thing I every put in my mouth! Yay!
  • Nazz: Did he just say it was good?
  • [Lifeguard finished the other half of the krabby patty]
  • Lifeguard: Woohoo! [Lifeguard dances]
  • Nat: Wow, Frank never dances, it must be good!
  • [everyone eats the krabby patties, Henry-Bart's eyes turn into a thumbs up, money comes out of his skin]
  • Henry-Bart: I'm getting something this amazing for free! How much will this buy? [Henry-Bart throws money on SpongeBob]
  • Frank: Yum yum yum yum yum yum. YUM! YUM! [Frank goes like a rocket] Hey, buddy boy, take my wallet, I gotta have more! [Frank goes in the stand and take two krabby patties]
  • [Nat and the Fish's heads turn into arms and gives a high-five]
  • Nat and Nazz: Now that's what i'm talking about!
  • [Nat and Nazz's head turns back to normal, they gets a breifcase from their pockets]
  • Nat: These are my savings! Just give us more krabby patties! [Nat and Nazz dump the money on SpongeBob]
  • [Plankton with a cellphone]
  • Plankton: Don't worry, Karen, i'll be here at lunch time. My mission here is accomplished. [laughs, and then a dollar bill lands on Plankton] What the...?! [gasps]
  • SpongeBob: It's working!
  • Plankton: No, wait! What's going on? You hate krabby patties remember? [a dump trunk dumped money] Uh-oh. [the money landed on Plankton]
  • [a helicopter had a bag full of money then dumped it on SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs was just walking lonely then a dollar landed on his nose, his eyes popped out and screamed so loudly, Plankton came out of the money, and Mr. Krabs jumped on the money and laughed]
  • SpongeBob: We did it, Mr. Krabs! We saved the Krusty Krab! All I did is selled the old krabby patties, and call them new!
  • Mr. Krabs: Do you mind, i'm trying to make a money angel here.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, money angels, can I make one?
  • Mr. Krabs: Sure thing, SpongeBob. Hop in! [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob laughed, Plankton screamed from Mr. Krabs, sitting on him] Did you hear what?
  • SpongeBob: Hear what?
  • Mr. Krabs: Good point. [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob continue laughing]

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