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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Frankendoodle" from season two, which aired on January 21, 2002.
  • French Narrator: Well, well, what is this? Ah, the artist at sea. Let us watch and see the fruits of his struggle. Ah, it seems that inspiration has struck.
  • Artist: Hmm... ah! [He kisses his pencil, then he draws some more strokes. He hums something. He accidentally throws his pencil into the sea. It sinks in the water until it's out of sight]
  • Artist: My pencil! [searches for it in the sea] What? No, no!
  • French Narrator: The artist has learned the first lesson of the sea: Always bring a spare pencil.
  • Artist: Noooooo! [with a loudly sound. Cut to the pencil dropping into the water. Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Patrick playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with bubbles]
  • SpongeBob: Okay. Ready, Patrick? One...
  • Patrick: Two...
  • Both: Three!
  • [SpongeBob blows a scissors bubble and Patrick blows a paper bubble]
  • SpongeBob: Scissors beats paper, Patrick! [they both laugh at that] One...
  • Both: two...
  • SpongeBob: Three! [both blow paper bubbles] Patrick, how come you always do paper? [the pencil pops the two paper bubbles and drops in the sand and the two scream]
  • Patrick: What is that thing, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: It looks like a giant pencil.
  • Patrick: Go touch it.
  • [SpongeBob extends his arm and touches the pencil]
  • SpongeBob: It is a giant pencil, Patrick! [SpongeBob grabs the pencil] Let's draw some giant pictures with it.
  • Patrick: Whatcha drawin'?
  • SpongeBob: Stand back, Patrick! I can't draw with you breathing down my neck!
  • Patrick: Psh, artists.
  • SpongeBob: It's a jellyfish.
  • Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob! But it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
  • SpongeBob: Eh, everybody's a critic.
  • [The drawing comes to life and swims away buzzing]
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, your drawing's coming to life!
  • SpongeBob: Now that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
  • Patrick: No, I mean it's swimming away!
  • SpongeBob: Do you know what this means, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Your art can never hang in a museum.
  • SpongeBob: It means we found a magic pencil!
  • Patrick: Now all I need is a magic mustache and all my dreams will have come true.
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] Coming right up! [he draws mustache on Patrick's face]
  • Patrick: Life is good! [the mustache floats away. He shrugs] Easy come, easy go.
  • Squidward: Squidward, if you had some hair, you'd be the most gorgeous creature in the sea! You've got looks... talent... all you need is a full head of... [the mustache goes on his head] hair!
  • Patrick: My turn!
  • SpongeBob: Be careful, Patrick! Being an artist is a heavy responsibility. Each work of art is like a child and must be treated as such.
  • Patrick: Come on! I was just gonna draw a cartoon.
  • SpongeBob: Okay! Why didn't you say so?
  • [Patrick draws a crudely-drawn picture of Squidward with a small stature and a waving fist.]
  • SpongeBob: Hey! Another jellyfish!
  • Patrick: It's Squidward, silly!
  • [The badly drawn Squidward comes to life and grumbles at them]
  • SpongeBob: It's kind of creepy looking when it moves.
  • Patrick: You're right, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: We can't let it go into town! [Patrick erases it]
  • Patrick: Poor Squidward.
  • SpongeBob: Hey! My brain just hatched an idea. [he draws a dollar on Squidward's green mat, attached to a string while laughing] This is gonna be classic!
  • Squidward: [dressed up] I think I fancy a stroll around the park.
  • SpongeBob: [doorbell rings] Oh, Squidward!
  • Squidward: [opens door] What do you want? Hello, what's this? Someone left me money for a perm. Come to Hairy! [SpongeBob pulls the string] Ow! SpongeBob! Oh, my hair! [it floats away] SpongeBob!
  • [Squidward goes back inside and slams the door, Patrick and SpongeBob hop up and down and suddenly stop.]
  • SpongeBob: Wait! I've got another idea! This'll be the ultimate prank. I'll draw me, and when Squidward answers the door... it won't be me! [SpongeBob draws a doodle of himself, Patrick laughs. The drawing stands up] Aww, look at him. Ain't he a doll? All he needs is a tie. [Draws it] Ready for action!
  • [The SpongeBob doodle shouts nonsense and he runs over to Squidward's house. SpongeBob and Patrick laugh]
  • Patrick: He's going to the door.
  • [DoodleBob knocks on the door.]
  • SpongeBob: He's knocking on the door. Squidward's answering the door and...
  • [DoodleBob picks up Squidward, holding him upside-down and repeatedly pounds his head on the ground]
  • Squidward: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
  • Patrick: He's beating up Squidward! Ha! Ha! Ha!
  • [Patrick and SpongeBob watch DoodleBob slam Squidward back and forth.]
  • SpongeBob: DoodleBoy, stop! [DoodleBob throws Squidward back in his house. Then he teals the magic pencil and then runs away with it]
  • Patrick: He's got the pencil.
  • SpongeBob: What have I done? We've got to find him!
  • [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick in a field with tall bushes]
  • SpongeBob: Where could he possibly be?
  • Patrick: Maybe he's in that poorly drawn pineapple.
  • SpongeBob: Come on, let's go! [Patrick hides in a bush]
  • Patrick: I'm not going in there [SpongeBob also hides]
  • SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick. I'm right behind you. Baby steps. Almost there... [DoodleBob draws a hole. They fall into it]
  • Patrick: What just happened?
  • DoodleBob: [speaking nonsense] Meahoy, memoyay? Meyoyyoy, ladyonmamoy!
  • SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick. Give me a boost up!
  • Patrick: Can't we just stay down here where it's safe?
  • SpongeBob: No way. I created this monster and I've got to stop him. [a giant wrench falls and hits Patrick on the head]
  • DoodleBob: Neofineyin!
  • SpongeBob: See what I mean, Patrick?
  • Patrick: [dizzily] Where's the leak, ma'am? [DoodleBob draws a bowling ball and rolls it. Patrick's head turns into a bowling pin in surprise] Yurrgh! [Hits Patrick and some pink bowling pins and a "strike" symbol appears. Another "strike" symbol then appears after the bowling ball falls into the hole.]
  • SpongeBob: You okay, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Finland!
  • DoodleBob: [speaking nonsense and more nonsense] Meyaiovah! Mee hoy minoy! Meah froyay! [he runs off in the distance, Bubble transition to a coral rock wall and a field]
  • SpongeBob: There he is.
  • Patrick: He's hideous. He makes me sick, just looking at him. Those big bulgy eyes, that square body, those two buck teeth, and that stupid tie!
  • SpongeBob: Ahem.
  • Patrick: [blushes] Oh... but it looks good on you, SpongeBob! Heh heh.
  • SpongeBob: He's putting down the pencil! This is our chance. On the count of three, we'll jump out and surprise him!
  • Patrick: Oh, boy, a surprise party! Is it his birthday?
  • [DoodleBob breaks through the coral rock wall where SpongeBob and Patrick are hiding behind.]
  • DoodleBob: [nonsense] Bawahh bwah bwah wahh! [DoodleBob grabs SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Do something!
  • Patrick: Happy birthday!
  • [DoodleBob throws SpongeBob, who screams and lands with a thud in the distance]
  • Patrick: [Gives DoodleBob a rock] Here's your present. [DoodleBob bashes it on his head] You're welcome.
  • DoodleBob: [nonsense] Dewaaagheaugaaagh! [DoodleBob was about to run for his life until SpongeBob stops him whilst holding the pencil in his face]
  • SpongeBob: Hold it right there, Doodle. I brought you into this world and now I'm gonna take you out. Any last words?
  • DoodleBob: [speaking nonsense fast] Bee ha, bala hala ba ba!
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry, what was that?
  • DoodleBob: [Slowing gibberish down] Bee ha, bala hala ba ba! [DoodleBob starts to shout more gibberish while SpongeBob erases his face. DoodleBob mutters, then he hits a rock]
  • SpongeBob: Hold still, Doodle. This is for your own good. [begins to erase DoodleBob to oblivion] Take that and this and this and that and this that this that... [he screams in victory] I am SpongeBob, destroyer of evil!
  • Patrick: Take it easy. It's just a drawing.
  • SpongeBob: [calmly] Well, that takes care of that, eh, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Done and done.
  • [When SpongeBob and Patrick go home, it is soon revealed that one of DoodleBob's arms is still alive. It creeps out from under the rock. Cut to nighttime. SpongeBob had just returned home. He draws on the spaces of his bedroom to make it look like a fancy bedroom, complete with a canopy for his bed.]
  • SpongeBob: Gee, Gary, you should have been there! It sure was exciting, but you know, I kind of miss the little doodle. He was like a son to me. But I'm sure glad things are back to normal. Well, good night, sweet prince.
  • Gary: [with a crown on] Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Good night, magic pencil. [Falls asleep. DoodleBob's arm goes into SpongeBob's house, it starts going up the stairs and takes a bathroom break, finally he sneaks up to SpongeBob's bed, grabs the pencil, and starts to re-draw himself. He wakes up] Oh, hey, Magic Pencil. What are you doing up? Drawing yourself a glass of water? [laughs] [DoodleBob pops up in his bed; SpongeBob screams] DoodleBob! [slightly chuckles] No hard feelings, right? [DoodleBob draws two angry eyebrows on his face and jumps on SpongeBob's bed holding the pencil threateningly] [screams] What do you think you're doing, doodle?!
  • DoodleBob: You Doodle! Me SpongeBob! [SpongeBob screams and jump out of the ways as DoodleBob erases his pillow, then part of SpongeBob's house whilst chasing him, they chase downstairs. DoodleBob erases a door and the back of SpongeBob's pants, revealing his butt] Huh? [Erases his butt]
  • SpongeBob: [screams] Be careful with that thing! Who knows what will happen? [DoodleBob erases his nose] I nose. [DoodleBob erases some parts of his face and body, DoodleBob laughs at the way he looks now] Very funny, doodle. Now it's my turn. [When SpongeBob and DoodleBob struggle, the pencil breaks into two. SpongeBob has the lead and draws the rest of his face and body back] Well, Doodle, it looks like this is a draw. [DoodleBob sharpens the pencil with his mouth. He now has both sides] You've made your point, no matter, I was voted most artistic in high school. [the lead piece flies out of his hand, crashes through the window and hits Squidward]
  • Squidward: [offscreen] Ouch! SpongeBob, you're gonna pay for that!
  • SpongeBob: Or maybe it was most clumsy. [DoodleBob starts to attack him again as SpongeBob hides in a bookshelf, as DoodleBob approaches him, he gets his foot stuck in a piece of paper on the floor, DoodleBob sees this and tries to get it off] Huh? [SpongeBob looks in a book] Paper! [DoodleBob tosses the pencil from his hand] Page for Mr. Doodle! [Smashes him with a notebook. SpongeBob watches as DoodleBob is preserved as a drawing, when it was all over, he smiles. The next day, SpongeBob hangs the piece of paper on the wall with a push-pin]
  • Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, what's with all the ruckus?
  • SpongeBob: Take a look for yourself, Patrick.
  • Patrick: [Gasp!] It's the evil Doodle!
  • SpongeBob: No, no, not evil. He was just a two-dimensional creature lost in our three-dimensional aquatic world longing for a purpose. [he blows from a pipe]
  • Patrick: So... he's a drawing?
  • SpongeBob: Exactly! See how happy he is?
  • Patrick: [He looks at the paper with DoodleBob on it] He still looks kind of creepy.
  • [Cut to outside. SpongeBob has just drawn a diving board. The pencil's broken halves have recently been taped together.]
  • SpongeBob: O, great Magic Pencil, your powers are too mighty for us ocean dwellers. So I will send you back to the magic kingdom from where you came. Are you ready, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Ready! [SpongeBob drops the pencil into Patrick's mouth. SpongeBob jumps from the diving board and onto Patrick's chest, and the pencil is launched back to the surface. In the real world, the artist from earlier is curled up in a fetal position]
  • French Narrator: We rejoin the artist in a creative slump.
  • Artist: [the pencil reaches the surface and lands on him] Huh? What's this? [he jumps up and holds his pencil in joy] My pencil! [he tries to draw, but unfortunately, the pencil lead breaks]
  • French Narrator: [As the artist starts to cry] The second most important rule for the artist at sea: Always bring a pencil sharpener.
  • Artist: Noooooo!