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For Here or to Go (transcript)

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General
Season №: 8
Episode №: 174b
Airdate: April 12, 2012
Chronology
Previous: Treats!
Next: It's a SpongeBob Christmas!
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "For Here or to Go" from season eight, which aired on April 12, 2012.

  • [opens the episode with a trumpet while standing on top of a barell with a curtain and the cash register next to him]
  • Fred: [turns to Frankie] A horn.
  • Frankie: What will happen next?
  • [ Mr. Krabs walks out of office and a spotlight shines on him as he stops.]
  • Mr. Krabs: Atten... [interrupted by SpongeBob's squeeked high note, growls, and he marches to SpongeBob to stop the noise and then marches back into the spotlight, SpongeBob appears to be stuck in his horn] Attention, Krusty Krab [grabs rope] patriots. [pulls up curtain] Behold!
  • Fred: It's a jar of seeds!
  • Frankie: Bun seeds.
  • Mr. Krabs: Today only, the Krusty Krab presents our first bun seed guessing contest! Guess how many seeds are in the jar and win a fff... sorry... fff... I'm trying to get... fff... [SpongeBob slaps Mr. Krabs on back of neck] Free Krabby Patty!
  • Crowd: Ooooh!
  • Mr. Krabs: Step right up [ Fred walks up ] and guess right and win! [whispers to SpongeBob] They'll never guess it.
  • [Fred thinks about guess]
  • Fred: Three?
  • Mr. Krabs: No. Next, please.
  • Nat: [observes the jar unneccesarily] Fourty-two?!
  • Mr. Krabs: [shakes head] Nope.
  • [Nat snaps fingers and then walks away]
  • Frank: [sniffs the jar] Billions and billions?
  • Mr. Krabs: No.
  • Nancy Suzy Fish: [places the jar in mouth] Blue.
  • Mr. Krabs: No.
  • Old Man: Mermaid Man?
  • Mr. Krabs: [smacks head] That's not even a number.
  • Plankton: [clears throat] I have a guess. [laughs evilly]
  • Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You don't get to guess. [carries Plankton out Krusty Krab]
  • Plankton: Hey! What? You can't do that! It's not fair.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'm sorry. But it's me restaurant and I can do what I please! Besides, I know you'll try to analyze that Patty and find out me secret formula. [throws Plankton into mouth and blows into bubble after chewing him and blows Plankton to Chum Bucket, Plankton splats on the wall and turns into a solid after hitting the asphalt]
  • Plankton: You'll pay for this, Krabs. I'm calling the Bogus Business Bureau!
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, right! Like they'll even take your call! [laughs and walks back into Krusty Krab]
  • [Plankton dials number on cellphone]
  • Female Voice: Bogus Business Bureau!
  • Plankton: Hello, yes. I have a complaint.
  • [inside Krusty Krab]
  • Mr. Krabs: [chuckles] That Plankton cracks me up. Like the Bogus Business Bureau would care about my dumb contest. [chuckles]
  • [a helicopter is heard over the ceiling, two men break through the ceiling, one demolishing a table and one crushing Squidward into the ground, then, a chair crushes Squidward once again, a man with a moustache is sitting on the chair]
  • Agent Twerp: I am Agent Twerp, of the [stands up and walks towards Mr. Krabs] Bogus Business Bureau. Are you the proprieter of this [coughs] establishment?
  • Mr. Krabs: Eh, uh, no. He's out of town.
  • SpongeBob: Don't be modest, Mr. Krabs. [to Agent Twerp] He's responsible for everything at the Krusty Krab.
  • Mr. Krabs: [pushes SpongeBob away and chuckles nervously] New trainee.
  • Agent Twerp: According to article 57 of the Greasy Spoon code, all fast-food contests must be open to all customers, no matter how diminutive or annoying.
  • Plankton: [appears out of coat pocket of Agent Twerp's coat] And I'm both of those things! You have to let me [jumps to floor] guess now Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm won't do it and [crosses arms] you can't make me. [raspberries]
  • Agent Twerp: If you refuse, I'll [pulls out tape that says "CLOSED"] shut down the Krusty Krab!
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh... fine.
  • Plankton: This round goes to Plankton! [sprints to top of barrel to the jar while laughing]
  • SpongeBob: Golly, Mr. Krabs. What if Plankton guesses right and wins a [gasps and says next words in gasping voice] Krabby Patty?
  • Mr. Krabs: [pulls SpongeBob close] Don't worry. That nimwit Plankton doesn't stand a chance.
  • Plankton: Hmm. [puts on eye equipment with numerous lenses. The device analyzes the bun seeds inside of the jar. He uses a calculator to calculate the analyzation] There are exactly five hundred thousand...[Mr. Krabs gulps] Three hundred...
  • Mr. Krabs: [gasps] He's getting close.
  • Plankton: And one.
  • Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Wrong! It's five hundred thousand three hundred and NONE! You are one over the mark! You lose! [laughs]
  • Agent Twerp: Hold on! It's not official unless you count them!
  • Plankton: [laughs] Ha!
  • [A card is shown with:A LOT OF BORING MATH LATER]
  • Mr. Krabs: Five hundred thousand two hundred ninety eight, five hundred thousand two hundred ninety nine, [picks up last bun seed] Five hundred thousand three hundred. [checks jar] I win! [laughs]
  • Plankton: Ah! [raspberries]
  • SpongeBob: Hold on. There's something on the lid. You missed a bun seed, Mr. Krabs. Plankton was...right. [tears in half]
  • Plankton: [shouts] Yes!
  • Agent Twerp: I now command you to give Mr. Plankton his prize.
  • Plankton: You heard him, Krabs. Give me a Krabby Patty.
  • Mr. Krabs: I can't.
  • Plankton: What?
  • [Agent Twerp pulls out the "CLOSED" tape again]
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob needs to clean the grill first.
  • SpongeBob: I cleaned it this morning.
  • Mr. Krabs: Doesn't your spatula need aligning or something?
  • SpongeBob: Nope, she's perfectly aligned.
  • Mr. Krabs: [whispers and crosses arms] Drats your efficiency! Oh yeah. I can't serve you your Patty until after the show.
  • Plankton: What show?
  • Mr. Krabs: [writes "AND A SHOW" on the poster while speaking] The show that comes with a free Krabby Patty. See.
  • Plankton: Oh come on. Are you kidding me?
  • Agent Twerp: It clearly says "and a show". I'll allow it.
  • Plankton: Drats!
  • [Mr. Krabs then begins cutting wood and sewing a curtain]
  • Plankton: Is this part of [does finger quotes] the show?
  • Mr. Krabs: No, this is isn't part of the show.
  • Agent Twerp: Such lovely filigree, wouldn't you agree?
  • Plankton: [rolls eye] Uh!
  • [the curtains open. SpongeBob rolls up]
  • Mr. Krabs: Once upon a time, there was a happy Patty Laddy. Lalalala. He was beloved by all the good hearted people in the world. Alast, there is also a villian in this story by the name of Plank Lankton.
  • [SpongeBob boos loudly]
  • Mr. Krabs: So one day, when the Lad was minding his own business, Plankton struck and took a huge bite out of the Laddy's face. [pretends to scream. sprays ketchup around]
  • Plankton: Okay, we get it already!
  • Mr. Krabs: Unfortunately for Flankton, the Patty didn't sit well with him. He was so evil, the Patty caused him to bloat so fierce, [inflates Flankton bag], until eventually, he popped. [pops bag] The end.
  • Plankton: [sarcastically speaks and claps hands] Oh, bravo. Braaavo. Why does the puppet get to eat a Krabby Patty and I don't and why aren't you in the kitchen cooking my patty?!
  • Mr. Krabs: Alright, SpongeBob. We can't stall him any longer. Make it a good one, laddy. This may be the last patty you'll ever cook.
  • SpongeBob: Yes, sir. [sobs uncontrollably]
  • Mr. Krabs: [whispers to Squidward] Pssss. I got a plan. You keep that blasted bureacrat busy.
  • Squidward: Uh, excuse me, Mr. Agent sir. While we're waiting, I'd like to direct you to the...oh...many code violations you'll find if you turn this way. It's a death trap.
  • Mr. Krabs: [sneaks into kitchen and grabs all of the buns and heads into the bathroom. Opens a stall and stuffs all of the buns down the toilet, making sounds that are disturbing to a male fish that exits the stall next to him] That takes care of that. [exits bathroom and looks at imaginary watch] Three, two, one.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!!!
  • Mr. Krabs: [whispers to self] SpongeBob. 
  • SpongeBob: It's awful. We're all out of buns!
  • Mr. Krabs: No buns? Drats, the luck.
  • Male Fish: Got a delivery for the Krusty Krab. Where do you want us to put these buns?
  • SpongeBob: Good thing I ordered us extra buns...for the contest.
  • Mr. Krabs crosses his arms. SpongeBob sadly plays trumpet as Squidward and Mr. Krabs bring Plankton the Krabby Patty]
  • Plankton: Finally! At long last, the Krabby Patty is mine! Go ahead and wrap that up, son. I'll take it to go.
  • SpongeBob: One Krabby Patty to go. [puts Krabby Patty in doggy-bag]
  • Mr. Krabs: Whoa, no you don't. You have to eat it on the premises. Thems the rules.[pulls out billboard with the words "MUST BE EATEN IN KRUSTY KRAB" written on it]
  • Plankton: Yeah, that's what it says.
  • Mr. Krabs: So.
  • Plankton: Okay, okay. I will! [eats Krabby Patty whole] I bid you good day, sir.
  • Mr. Krabs: You gotta swallow it here, on the premises.
  • Plankton: Oh, come on.
  • Agent Twirp: I'll allow it.
  • Plankton: Fine! [swallows it whole and breaths heavily] Can I go now?
  • [Mr. Krabs kicks Plankton into Chum Bucket. Cuts to the inside of the Chum Bucket]
  • Plankton: Karen, quick! You gotta cut this Krabby Patty out of me, stat!
  • Karen: But what about anesthetic?
  • Plankton: There's no time. I can feel it digesting.
  • Karen: Whatever you say. [holds up chainsaw] Hold still. This may pinch a little.
  • [Plankton screams]
  • SpongeBob: Uh, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: What is it, lad?
  • SpongeBob: Look
  • Plankton: Keep it moving. Nice and orderly. Hey, Euguene! Want a free Krabby Patty? Just guess how many customers I can fit into the Chum Bucket!
  • [Mr. Krabs gasps]
  • Woman: I feel terrible. The Krabby Patty takes like stomach acid!
  • Henry-Bart: It takes like aspirin and carrots. [rubs tongue] Get it off! Get it off!
  • [all customers scream and run away]
  • Plankton: Oh come on, Karen, what happened?
  • Karen: I just did what you asked. I analyzed the contents of your stomach and used them to synthesize a Krabby Patty.
  • Mr. Krabs: [chuckles] It warms my heart to see that little twerp fail. Okay, boyo, fun time's over. Go fish them buns out of the toilet. Oh, yeah [holds up bun seed jar] and put these seeds back on them!, (Deleted scene) OK?
  • SpongeBob: That's my Krabs! [laughs]

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