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"Face Freeze!" (transcript)

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Transcript Information
Face Freeze
General
Season №: 8
Episode №: 172a
Airdate: July 21, 2012
Chronology
Previous: "InSPONGEiac"
Next: "Glove World R.I.P."
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Face Freeze!" from season eight, which aired on July 21, 2012.

  • [episode begins at Krusty Krab]
  • Patrick: Thanks for having lunch with me, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Anything for my bestest buddy. There's no better way. I could've spent my lunch drink. [slurps his drink and makes a relaxed face] Ahh.
  • Patrick: That's a pretty cool face. [chuckles] Check you this one out. [chomps, chews]
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] I love it. What do you think of this? AWOO! [laughs]
  • Patrick: Oh, hey, how about this? [dolphin call]
  • SpongeBob: That's awesome! [SpongeBob and Patrick both laugh]
  • Mr. Krabs: [snores] Ooh. I know this sound. It's the sound of me money being flushed down the toilet! [SpongeBob and Patrick laughs] SpongeBob! Why aren't you manning the fryer?
  • SpongeBob: Sorry, sir. I got carried away. Patrick and I here are making faces at each other.
  • Patrick: Funny faces make me laugh! [laughs]
  • Mr. Krabs: What? Are you out of your liquid-absorbing mind?
  • SpongeBob: Why, is there something wrong?
  • Mr. Krabs: Haven't ye ever heard the saying "If you don't stop making that face, it'll freeze that way"?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Uuh, no!
  • Mr. Krabs: Let me tell you the story of Face Freeze. [thunder claps, SpongeBob and Patrick's tooth chattering, breathing quickly] It were a cold day, in November, and in Bikini Bottom lived a man who loved to make faces. And the one he liked best was to stick his tongue out. [Fred raspberries and laughs] But what he really liked, was to stick his tongue at people. [Fred raspberries and laughs, Sadie and green Monroe wasps]
  • Sadie: How rude! [Monroe cries]
  • [Fred raspberries]
  • Mr. Krabs: Until one day, when he stuck his tongue out for the 444th time, [Fred raspberries] his face froze with his tongue sticking out...
  • Fred: Huh, huh... Huh?
  • Mr. Krabs: Permanently!
  • Mable: Weirdo.
  • Fred: [muffled] No... NO!
  • Mr. Krabs: He couldn't open his mouth for months. Until one day, his tongue dried up and fell off!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, no!
  • Mr. Krabs: So are you fonna keep making faces, boys?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Huh-uh.
  • Mr. Krabs: Good. I hope you've learned your lesson.
  • SpongeBob: I'm glad Mr. Krabs caught us before it was too late. Let's agree never to make faces again.
  • Patrick: Done and done.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
  • Patrick: Right, gotcha. No problem. Not gonna make faces. No faces... at all.
  • SpongeBob: No faces... at all. Yeah. This is... [gulps] easy. How you holding up?
  • Patrick: Huh, fine. You?
  • [SpongeBob grunts but makes an T-shaped face and laughs]
  • Patrick: [laughs] Dun ah eeh.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
  • SpongeBob: Hey! [Patrick laughs] Patrick. PATRICK!
  • Patrick: What?
  • SpongeBob: Look at us. We're okay. Our faces didn't freeze.
  • [Patrick stretching]
  • Patrick: Gosh, you're right.
  • SpongeBob: Guess, Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well, now that we know his tall tale isn't true. Let's make lots of faces.
  • Patrick: You mean like this? [stretching] Ree eeh eeh!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both, SpongeBob growls]
  • Patrick: [laughs] Aye yi yi yi!
  • SpongeBob: [laughs] Aw!
  • Patrick: Phee!
  • SpongeBob: Ay yi yi yi yi yi!
  • Patrick: Dun ree ah yee!
  • SpongeBob: Doy doy doy doy!
  • Patrick: Ah ah ooh!
  • SpongeBob: Duh!
  • Patrick: Aydh!
  • SpongeBob: Awoot duh doo!
  • Patrick: Looo ooo ooo!
  • SpongeBob: Day ah dah da dah!
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
  • SpongeBob: I can't breathe! Well, still no frozen faces. Let's really put this myth to the test. Let's see what happens when me hold one face for a long time.
  • Patrick: Yes! But, now do you choose just one? Um, well, let's see. Oh, oh... How about an eye cross, [Makes his eyes go up to the top of his head] uh? And then slip into and overbite. [Pulling out upper jaw] And the finishing touch. Gah lowh.
  • SpongeBob: [chuckles] Delightfully wicked, my friend. I call this one... [ he push his nose and making his mouth bigger and puts out his eyeballs on the top of his head] The Gary. Meow!
  • Patrick: [chuckles] Gloriously disgusting, sir.
  • SpongeBob: Let's not keep these grotesque faces to ourselves. Let us share then with the whole wide sea. [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
  • [scene cuts]
  • [Spongebob and Patrick laughing]
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick Come out of the Ocean]
  • [Everybody swims away screaming]
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing again]
  • Sandy: You two need help.
  • [scene cuts]
  • Patrick: Hey Spongebob!
  • [Patrick turns on Flashlight]
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick Laughing]
  • [Patrick turns off Flashlight]
  • Patrick: Hey SpongeBob!
  • [Patrick turns on Flashlight]
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick Laughing]
  • [Patrick turns off Flashlight]
  • Patrick: Hey SpongeBob!
  • [Patrick turns on Flashlight]
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick Laughing]
  • SpongeBob: It never gets so old!
  • [Patrick turns off Flashlight]
  • [Squidward rips Tent]
  • Squidward: Would You Mind?!
  • SpongeBob: Mind What? Making Faces? Of course were don't.
  • [Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
  • SpongeBob: Your Turn Squidward let's see your Crazy Face.
  • Squidward: I don't wanna make faces I want to SLEEP! D-de-de-de-Da!

  • SpongeBob: Hey! That's a good one right there.
  • [SpongeBob and Patrick laughs]
  • Squidward: Let's try a new game. Let's combine whatever you get out of whatever this is you're doing with the quiet of sleep!
  • SpongeBob: Interesting challenge, but let's raise the stakes even higher. Patrick, I'll bet you can't keep that face all night, while you sleep!
  • Patrick: Oh yeah? Watch me, [They both sleep]
  • Squidward: Whatever works. [Later. The Sun rises]
  • 'SpongeBob: '[Surprised]'' Wow Patrick, you did hold that face all night!
  • Patrick: Actually, I can't move my face at all [He feels on his face]
  • SpongeBob: I can't move my face either!
  • Patrick: All right! We did it!
  • SpongeBob: No Patrick, It's not all right, this means Mr. Krabs was right! Patrick we have a Face Freeze!
  • [Both scream]
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, Sandy was right, we need help!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Sandy! Sandy!
  • [Later at Sandy's house]
  • Sandy: Hmmmm, this may get tricky. Y'all need to relax them facial muscles what y'all need is a mossage.n
  • SpongeBob: And you're a licensed mussoge, right Sandy?
  • Sandy: Well I shouldn't say licensed. Just sit back, relax, and let my gentle mammalian hands melt away that tension. [shows Sandy's hand looking creepy]
  • Sandy: You seem to be carrying a lot of stress in your eyeballs. Them shoulders look way outta line. Fell them nights just meltin away. Let's see if i can just get that jaw line back in place. [Later, Sandy is done] Phew! OK you two bad news first. That wicked Face Freeze ain't going nowhere. But, y'all are looking much more relaxed.
  • [showing that SpongeBob's and Patrick's faces are more deformed]
  • [At Krusty Krab] Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Hello Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: Hey, you all right boy, eh, look a little killy-wompish walking in here.
  • SpongeBob: Doing fine Mr. Krabs. Just grillin and grillin.
  • Mr. Krabs: Ahem. But what's with this cubed posture
  • SpongeBob: You hear that, someone just dropped a penny.
  • Mr. Krabs: (Gasps) Where?! Where?! [Looks for penny]
  • SpongeBob: That'll buy me some time.
  • Squidward: Let's go SpongeBob, the orders are pouring out.
  • SpongeBob: On it Squidward!
  • SpongeBob: [Onion juice gets in his eye] Onion juice! Ah!
  • Squidward: Come on SpongeBob! Chop, Chop!
  • SpongeBob: OK, OK.
  • SpongeBob: [Falls, retrieves patties on back, screams] Phew. Order up.
  • Squidward: You deliver it, I'm on break.
  • Mr. Krabs: Penny, penny, penny, penny.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs is still distracted, now's my chance. Your order is served, sir.
  • Harold: [Gasps at that SpongeBob's lips is on the patties] I'm sorry, I did not order a side of lips with my patty!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, dear.
  • Harold: [Takes money out of register] I'm taking my clams, elsewhere.
  • Mr. Krabs: Wait, come back!
  • SpongeBob: Why, oh, why, why did I have to make a face?
  • Mr. Krabs: What's going on back here? Why are we losing business?
  • SpongeBob: How should I know, I'm just a cook in these parts.
  • Mr. Krabs: Face me when I'm talking to you boy. [SpongeBob turns around with his face down] So I can see your face.
  • SpongeBob: Hey, have you seen this, Mr. Krabs? [shows him a rolling trick] My impersonation of a burrito!
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you better stand up this instant or... Huh? [Sees Patrick walk in with Face Freeze]
  • Patrick: Oh. Uhhh, is this a bad time, SpongeBob?
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, I see what's going on here. [Picks up SpongeBob] Aha! You just had to keep making faces, didn't ya? You couldn't heed me warning, could ya?
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, we thought it was one of your stories.
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm losing business, because you thought I was telling one of me stories?! Why, this makes me so angry! I could just... just... just... ahhh! [Mr. Krabs' anger gives him a creepy Face Freeze, a freezing noise is heard] NO, I can't move my face. I've got a Face Freeze too!!
  • Squidward- What is the hold up in here?
  • SpongeBob- Wait Squidward, don't get worked up you could get the Face Freeze!
  • Squidward- Face Freeze! I thought that was a myth. ha! Krabs too! ha ha ha!! (Begins laughing hard) This is so rich!  UH OH? [Sees Patrick, begins laughing very hard and he too gets a Face Freeze and a other freezing noise is heard] Hey, my face. Ah my face! Oh, great, look at what you've done. [Begins crying]
  • Mr. Krabs: LOOK! Squidward has it too!
  • [All three begin laughing while Squidward begins crying]
  • Squidward: HEY, IT'S NOT FUNNY! STOP LAUGHING!

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