This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Face Freeze!" from season 8, which aired on July 21, 2012.
- [episode begins at Krusty Krab]
- Patrick: Thanks for having lunch with me, SpongeBob.
- SpongeBob: Anything for my bestest buddy. There's no better way. I could've spent my lunch drink. [slurps] Ahh.
- Patrick: That's a pretty cool face. [chuckles] Check you this one out. [chomps, chews]
- SpongeBob: [laughs] I love it. What do you think of this? AWOO! [laughs]
- Patrick: Oh, hey, how about this? [dolphin call]
- SpongeBob: That's awesome! [SpongeBob and Patrick both laughing]
- Mr. Krabs: [snores] Ooh. I know this sound. It's the sound of me money being flushed down the toilet! [SpongeBob and Patrick laughs] SpongeBob! Why aren't you manning the fryer?
- SpongeBob: Sorry, sir. I got carried away. Patrick and i here making face at each other.
- Patrick: Funny faces make me laugh! [laughs]
- Mr. Krabs: What? Are you out of your liquid-absorbing mind?
- SpongeBob: Why, is there something wrong?
- Mr. Krabs: Haven't ye ever heard the saying "If you don't stop making that face, it'll freeze that way"?
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Uuh, no!
- Mr. Krabs: Let me tell you the story of face freeze. [thunder claps, SpongeBob and Patrick's tooth chattering, breathing quickly] It here a cold day, in november, and in Bikini Bottom lived a man who loved to make faces. And the one he liked best was the stinky tongue out. [Fred raspberries and laughs] But what he really liked, was to stick his tongue at people. [Fred raspberries and laughs, Sadie and green Monroe wasps]
- Sadie: How huge! [Monroe cries]
- [Fred raspberries]
- Mr. Krabs: Until one day, when he stuck his tongue out for the 444th time, [Fred raspberries] his face froze with his tongue sticking out...
- Fred: Huh, huh... Huh? Permanently.
- Mable: Weirdo.
- Fred: [muffled] No... NO!
- Mr. Krabs: He couldn't open his mouth for months. Until one day, his tongue dried up and fell off!
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, no!
- Mr. Krabs: So are you fonna keep making faces, boys?
- SpongeBob and Patrick: Huh-uh.
- Mr. Krabs: Good. I hope you've learned your lesson.
- SpongeBob: I'm glad Mr. Krabs caught us before it was too late. Let's agree never to make faces again.
- Patrick: Done and done.
- SpongeBob: Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
- Patrick: Right, gotcha. No problem. Not gonna make faces. No faces... at all.
- SpongeBob: No faces... at all. Yeah. This is... [gulps] easy. How you holding up?
- Patrick: Huh, fine. You?
- [SpongeBob grunts but makes an T-shaped face and laughs]
- Patrick: [laughs] Dun ah eeh.
- [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
- SpongeBob: Hey! [Patrick laughs] Patrick. PATRICK!!!!!
- Patrick: What?
- SpongeBob: Look at us. We're okay. Our faces didn't freeze.
- [Patrick stretching]
- Patrick: Gosh, you're right.
- SpongeBob: Guess, Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well, now that we know his tall tale isn't true. Let's make lots of faces.
- Patrick: You mean like this? [stretching] Ree eeh eeh!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both, SpongeBob growls]
- Patrick: [laughs] Aye yi yi yi!
- SpongeBob: [laughs] Aw!
- Patrick: Phee!
- SpongeBob: Ay yi yi yi yi yi!
- Patrick: Dun ree ah yee!
- SpongeBob: Doy doy doy doy!
- Patrick: Ah ah ooh!
- SpongeBob: Duh!
- Patrick: Aydh!
- SpongeBob: Awoot duh doo!
- Patrick: Looo ooo ooo!
- SpongeBob: Day ah dah da dah!
- [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
- SpongeBob: I can't breathe! Well, still no frozen faces. Let's really put this myth to the test. Let's see what happens when me hold one face for a long time.
- Patrick: Yes! But, now do you choose just one? Um, well, let's see. Oh, oh... How about an eye cross, [Makes his eyes go up to the top of his head] uh? And then slip into and overbite. [Pulling out upper jaw] And the finishing touch. Gah lowh.
- SpongeBob: [chuckles] Delightfully wicked, my friend. I call this one... [ he push his nose and making his mouth bigger and puts out his eyeballs on the top of his head] The Gary. Meow!
- Patrick: [chuckles] Gloriously disgusting, sir.
- SpongeBob: Let's not keep these grotesque faces to ourselves. Let us share then with the whole wide sea. [SpongeBob and Patrick laughing both]
- [scene cuts]
- [Spongebob and Patrick laughing]
- [Spongebob and Patrick Come out of the Ocean]
- [Everybody swims away]
- [Spongebob and Patrick laughing again]
- Sandy: You two need help.
- [scene cuts]
- Patrick: Hey Spongebob!
- [Patrick turns on Flashlight]
- [Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
- [Patrick turns off Flashlight]
- Patrick: Hey Spongebob!
- [Patrick turns on Flashlight]
- [Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
- [Patrick turns off Flashlight]
- Patrick: Hey Spongebob!
- [Patrick turns on Flashlight]
- [Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
- Spongebob: It never gets so old!
- [Patrick turns off Flashlight]
- [Squidward rips Tent]
- Squidward: Would You Mind?!
- Spongebob: Mind What? Making Faces? Of course were don't.
- [Spongebob and Patrick Laughing]
- Spongebob: Your Turn Squidward let's see your Crazy Face.
- Squidward: I don't wanna make faces I want to SLEEP! D-de-de-de-Da!
- Spongebob: Hey! That's a good one right there.
- Squidward: Let's try a new game. Let's combine whatever you get out of whatever this is you're doing with QUIET SLEEP!!!!!
- Spongebob:Interesting challenge, but let's raise the stakes even higher. Patrick, I'll bet you can't keep that face all night, while you sleep!
- Patrick: Oh yeah? Watch me, [They both sleep]
- Squidward: Whatever. [Later. The Sun rises]
- Spongebob: '[Suprised]' Wow Patrick, you did hold that face all night!
- Patrick: Actually, I can't move my face at all [He feels on his face]
- Spongebob: I can't move my face either!
- Patrick: All right! We did it!
- Spongebob: No Patrick, It's not all right, this means Mr. Krabs was right! Patrick we have a face freeze!
- [Both screams]
- Spongebob: Patrick, Sandy was right, we need help!
- Spongebob and Patrick: Sandy! Sandy!
- [Later at Sandy's house]
- Sandy: Hmmmm, this may get tricky. Y'all need to relax them facial muscles what y'all need is a mossage.n
- SpongeBob: And you're a licensed mussoge, right Sandy?
- Sandy: Well I shouldn't say licensed. Just sit back, relax, and let my gentle mamalian hands melt away that tension. [shows Sandy's hand looking creepy]
- Sandy: You seem to be carrying a lot of stress in your eyeballs. Them shoulders look way outta line. Fell them nights just meltin away. Let's see if i can just get that jaw line back in place. [Later, Sandy is done] Phew! OK you two bad news first. That wicked face freeze ain't going nowhere. But, y'all are looking much more relaxed.
- [showing that Spongebob's and Patrick's faces are more deformed]
- [At Krusty Krab] Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Spongebob!
- Spongebob: Hello Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs: Hey, you all right boy, eh, look a little killy-wompish walking in here.
- Spongebob: Doing fine Mr. Krabs. Just grillin and grillin.
- Mr. Krabs: Ahem. But what's with this cubed posture
- Spongebob: You hear that, someone just dropped a penny.
- Mr. Krabs: (Gasps) WHERE?! WHERE?! [Looks for penny]
- Spongebob: That'll give me some time.
- Squidward: Let's go Spongebob, the orders are pouring out.
- Spongebob: On it Squidward!
- Spongebob: [Onion juice gets in his eye] AH, NEPTUNE! HELP!
- Squidward: Come on Spongebob! Chop, Chop!
- Spongebob: OK, OK
- Spongebob: [Falls, retrieves patties on back, screams] Order up.
- Squidward: You deliver it, I'm on break.
- Mr. Krabs: Penny, penny, penny, penny.
- Spongebob: Krabs is distracted, now's my chance. Your order sir.
- Harold: [Gasps at that it is salivia on the patties] I'm sorry, I did not order a side of lips with my patty!
- Spongebob: Oh dear.
- Harold: [Takes money out of register] I'm taking my clams, elsewhere.
- Mr. Krabs: WAIT! COME BACK!!
- Spongebob: WHY OH WHY DID I HAVE TO MAKE A FACE?
- Mr. Krabs: What's going on back here. We're losing buisness!
- Spongebob: How should I know, I'm just cooking these parts
- Mr. Krabs: Face me when I'm talking to you boy. [Spongebob turns around with his face down] So I can see your face.
- Spongebob: Hey, have you seen this Mr. Krabs. [shows him a rolling trick] It's my impersination of a burrito!
- Mr. Krabs: Spongebob, you better stand up this instant or... Huh? (Sees Patrick walk in with face freeze)
- Patrick: Ummm. It's just about time Spongebob.
- Mr. Krabs: Oh, I see what's going on here. [Picks up Spongebob] AHA! You just had to keep making faces didn't ya, you couldn't heave me warning, could ya,
- Spongebob: I'm sorry Mr. Krabs, we thought it was one of your stories.
- Mr. Krabs: I'm losing buisness, because you thought I was telling one of me stories?! Why this makes me so angry! I could just....just......just [Mr. Krabs' anger gives him a creepy face freeze] NO, I can't move my face. I've got the face freeze too!!
- Squidward- WHAT IS THE HOLD UP IN HERE?
- Spongebob- Wait Squidward, don't get worked up you could get the face freeze!
- Squidward- Face Freeze! I thought that was a myth. HA! Krabs too! HA HA HA !! (Begins laughing hard) This is so rich! UH OH? [Sees Patrick, begins laughing very hard and he too gets a face freeze] Hey, my face. AH, MY FACE! Oh, Great look at what you've done. [Begins crying]
- Mr. Krabs: LOOK! Squidward has it too!
- [All three begin laughing while Squidward begins crying]
- Squidward: HEY, IT'S NOT FUNNY! STOP! LAUGHING!