Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "F.U.N." from season 1, which aired on September 18, 1999.

  • [The episode begins with an exterior shot of the Krusty Krab.]
  • French Narrator: Ahh, lunchtime at the Krusty Krab. [inside the restaurant] Everyone is enjoying their Krabby Patties. [lights go off and sirens and red lights blare as everyone in the Krusty Krab screams and runs for cover] Huh-huh?! What's this?! [doors and windows are now metal]
  • Mr. Krabs: Can you spot him, Mr. Squidward?!
  • Squidward: [up in a crows nest with a telescope] Down there, sir! [a Krabby Patty is bouncing to the door]
  • French Narrator: [gasps] There appears to be a Krabby Patty napping in progress! [Krabby Patty shoots a laser hole big enough for it to go through at the door] There can only be one culprit: Plankton!
  • Plankton: Finally, victory is mine! I win, I win, I win! [laughs]
  • [The scene cuts back to inside the Krusty Krab.]
  • Squidward: He got away, sir.
  • Mr. Krabs: [devastated] No! He's finally stolen me secret recipe!
  • French Narrator: Perhaps not, Monsieur Krabs, for it's... [SpongeBob tears himself into another SpongeBob and flies off, landing inside a barrel seat.] [shouting] ...SpongeBob SquarePants!
  • [Bubble transition to SpongeBob peeking out through under the sewer with binoculars in his hand. Catches a peek at a Krabby Patty jumping through the crowd]
  • SpongeBob: A-ha! [escapes the sewer, leaving the binoculars behind. He then chases the Krabby Patty behind some buildings] Hey! [Plankton flies up with a propeller. SpongeBob takes the twirling club that Incidental 118 is using as a propeller and flies after the Krabby Patty to the top of a building] Okay, that's far enough! Huh? [patty jumps off building] Tartar sauce! [blows his hat into a balloon-like ball and jumps off the building. He bounces off the ground towards the Krabby Patty. Bounces past a cowboy and a cowgirl]
  • Cowboy: Yee-haw!
  • [The scene cuts to the Magic Shop. The Krabby Patty slides into the hop and comes back out with funny glasses on.]
  • SpongeBob: [finds the Krabby Patty] Uh, have you seen a Krabby Patty? It's about this tall and... [looks up and reads the sign Magic Shop] Wow, a magic shop! Are you a magician? One time, I saw this magician and he did this thing...and, and...anyway, and then he told us, "If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all of your dreams can come true." [The Krabby Patty disguise unveils to be Plankton.]
  • Plankton: Argh! I can't take it!
  • SpongeBob: Plankton! It's you!
  • Plankton: Yes! And after all these years, I thought I was the master of torture. But that...that just wasn't fair! Here! Take the stupid patty, I don't want the secret recipe anyway. I guess my restaurant will never be as good as the Krusty Krab. You don't know what it's like to be a loser. [cries]
  • SpongeBob: Aww, cheer up, Plankton. I think you're a winner.
  • Plankton: [stops crying] Wha? What did you say?
  • SpongeBob: I said, you're a-- [a bunch of people run up and point at Plankton]
  • All: Loser! [Plankton jumps away from group and walks back to the Chum Bucket]
  • Squidward: How does it feel to be the most hated thing in Bikini Bottom, Plankton?! It hurts, doesn't it?! I know!
  • Incidental 118: Yeah, and for running you out, we're going to make this kid honorary town rookie of the day. [puts a big donut with a ribbon on it around SpongeBob]
  • All: [singing] ♪ For he's a jolly good rookie, for he's a jolly good rookie, for he's a jolly good rookieee... ♪
  • [Everyone throws SpongeBob into the air.]
  • SpongeBob: [thinking to himself] I'll bet if he had just one friend, [cut to Plankton] he wouldn't be such a meanie. [cut back to SpongeBob]
  • All: ♪ ...eeeee ♪ [as SpongeBob comes down, they stop singing] We're going... whatever. [everyone walks away]
  • [Bubble transition to the Chum Bucket. Plankton hears a knock on his door.]
  • Plankton: A customer?! [opens door] Our special today is chum... [sees SpongeBob at the door] ...balaya.
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Mr. Plankton.
  • Plankton: Haven't you degraded me enough for one day?
  • SpongeBob: No. I mean...I want you to come out and play with me.
  • Plankton: What?
  • SpongeBob: Play with me.
  • Plankton: You know how to induce thermonuclear fusion?
  • SpongeBob: No, but I like to go jelly... [Plankton closes the door]
  • Plankton: That naïve cube! How long must I suffer this?
  • Karen: You're not letting him leave, are you? Can't you see? This is the perfect opportunity for revenge!
  • Plankton: Elaborate. [The computer shows a display of SpongeBob holding a Krabby Patty.]
  • Karen: Befriend the SpongeBob, then when the timing is just right, take the Krabby Patty!
  • Plankton: Take [camera zooms in at the Krabby Patty display] the Krabby Patty? [runs back to the door]
  • Karen: Get moving, genius, don't let him get away.
  • SpongeBob: [Plankton opens the door] ...fishing with my friends in Jellyfish Fields.
  • Plankton: Alright, SpongeBob, I'll play your little game.
  • SpongeBob: Great! [SpongeBob grabs Plankton and runs off] Last one to the fields is a rotten clam!
  • [Bubble transition to the two at Jellyfish Fields.]
  • SpongeBob: So, I get the big net and you get the little net. [hands Plankton a net bigger than him]
  • Plankton: What happens after we eat 'em?
  • SpongeBob: You don't eat 'em, you catch 'em, like this! La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la! [captures a jellyfish while jumping off a cliff] Like that.
  • Plankton: And?
  • SpongeBob: Then you throw them back. But watch out for the stingers!
  • Plankton: Stingers?! [Plankton imagines ruling Bikini Bottom with a jellyfish that only he controls] All knees will bow to Plankton! Hail, Plankton! I win, I win! [end of fantasy while laughing]
  • SpongeBob: It's not about winning, it's about fun!
  • Plankton: What's that?
  • SpongeBob: Fun is when you [thinking to himself]...fun is...it's like...it's kinda...sorta like a...what is fun? I...let me spell it for you. [singing while showing the letter "F"] ♪ F is for friends who do stuff together, [cut to a bored Plankton, then cut to SpongeBob showing the letter "U"] U is for you and me, [as the letter "N" while performing a cartwheel] N is for anywhere, anytime at all ♪
  • Clams: [The letters "F" and "U" reappear next to SpongeBob.] ♪ Down here in the deep blue sea ♪
  • Plankton: ♪ F is for fire that burns down the whole town, [cut to SpongeBob] U is for uranium... bombs! [cut back to Plankton] N is for no survivors, when you- ♪
  • SpongeBob: Plankton! Those things aren't what fun is all about. Now, do it like this: [does some wacky dance moves] ♪ F is for friends who do stuff to- ♪
  • Plankton: Never! That's completely idiotic!
  • SpongeBob: Here, let me help you. [grabs Plankton hands while helping him dance] ♪ F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me ♪ [stops singing] Try it!
  • Plankton: [performs a cartwheel] ♪ N is for anywhere, anytime at all ♪
  • Clams: ♪ Down here in the deep blue sea ♪
  • Plankton: Wait, I don't understand this, I feel all tingly inside. Should we stop?
  • SpongeBob: No! That's how you're supposed to feel!
  • Plankton: Well, I like it. Let's do it again!
  • [The scene cuts to the flower beds.]
  • SpongeBob: Okay!
  • SpongeBob and Plankton: ♪ F is for frolic through all the flowers, [cut to Plankton inside a ukulele. SpongeBob is dressed Hawaiian style.] U is for ukulele. [cut to the two at a Noses shop] N is nose-picking, [cut to SpongeBob blowing gum with Plankton inside] sharing gum, [cut to SpongeBob licking sand at Plankton] and sand-licking, here with my best buddy. [cut the two having fun with the "FUN" letters in the background] Hahahahahahahaha!♪
  • [At the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs is looking through a telescope at SpongeBob and Plankton]
  • Mr. Krabs: Arrgh, mutiny.
  • [The scene fades to the Chum Bucket at night. Plankton is changing clothes.]
  • Plankton: And after that, we frolicked through the flowers, and then we...
  • Karen: Sounds like fun.
  • Plankton: Well, the really fun part was when we...
  • Karen: What did you do with the Krabby Patty?
  • Plankton: We-the what? [shows a Krabby Patty on Karen's computer screen]
  • Karen: The Krabby Patty, remember?
  • Plankton: You can't rush these things, you know.
  • Karen: You're forgetting the mission! [shows a formula]
  • Plankton: What are you talking about?
  • Karen: You're going native, Plankton, look at yourself! [metal arm picks up Plankton and shows him wearing square pants like SpongeBob's]
  • Plankton: What?
  • [The scene changes to the Krusty Krab.]
  • Mr. Krabs: I haven't seen Plankton in a while. He must be scheming.
  • SpongeBob: Who knows? Maybe he's changed.
  • Mr. Krabs: Who knows? I think you knows! [shows pictures of him and Plankton holding up the letters for "FUN"]
  • SpongeBob: He's changed, I tell you! [Plankton enters]
  • Plankton: SpongeBuddy! Yoo-hoo! [SpongeBob runs over to Plankton]
  • SpongeBob: Plankton-buddy! Let's go! I forgot this is a no friend zone!
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, may I speak to you in private? [talking to Plankton] You won't mind if I set this here, will you? [puts a plate with a Krabby Patty on the table and pushes it toward him]
  • SpongeBob: What's this all about, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: He's a thief. Look at the lust in his eye, he's...
  • SpongeBob: Why can't you just accept our friendship?
  • Mr. Krabs: He's just after me recipe. I'll prove it to you. [walks up to Plankton] Ah, you must be hungry after that long walk over here.
  • Plankton: Oh, yes, but I'm saving my appetite for some popcorn at the movies.
  • Mr. Krabs: Uhh... suit yourself. [walks off then comes back to push the plate closer to Plankton. He uses a fan to get the smell to Plankton.]
  • SpongeBob: We've had enough of your little tests, Mr. Krabs! [turns the fan off] Come on, Plankton, let's get out of here. [both walk away]
  • Mr. Krabs: Maybe the lad was right. Maybe Plankton's gone straight... [plate falls down revealing that it was cardboard] And maybe scallops will fly out of my pants! [takes the boat and paddles to 'The Reef'] Hang on there, laddie, I'm a-comin!
  • [Bubble transition to inside 'The Reef' movie theater. SpongeBob and Plankton are sitting in the front row. SpongeBob is giving popcorn to Plankton as he is eating some himself. Then Bubble Bass comes down and sits on Plankton, squishing him]
  • SpongeBob: I sure like sequels, Plankton. [sees Bubble Bass in his spot] Hey, Bubble Bass, you're sitting on my friend.
  • [Bubble Bass meanly smiles and gets comfortable in his seat, and a squelching sound comes from Plankton being squashed by his butt]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Bubble Bass! [throws some popcorn and Bubble Bass runs after it]
  • Plankton: Thanks for that, friend.
  • SpongeBob: Sure thing.
  • Mr. Krabs: Listen up! [Mr. Krabs' shadow is on the movie screen. He clicks his claws.]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? [Mr. Krabs is in the projector room.]
  • Mr. Krabs: He's deceivin' ya! Reach into his pocket now and take what he's got!
  • [Everyone in the theater steals an item from the pocket of whoever is sitting next to them]
  • Mr. Krabs: You too, boy!
  • [SpongeBob reaches into Plankton's pocket and takes out a Krabby Patty]
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] I can't believe this!
  • Plankton: It's not what you think.
  • SpongeBob: What is it then? Tell me what you see here!
  • Plankton: I...I don't see anything.
  • SpongeBob: [starting to cry] How can you not see it!? [groans]
  • Plankton: [beginning to tear up as well] Okay, okay, I see it! It's a Krabby Patty, okay? I couldn't help it.
  • SpongeBob: But we sang the F.U.N. Song! [clutches his stomach] I think I'm gonna be sick. How long?
  • Plankton: How long what?
  • SpongeBob: [grabs Plankton, holding him in his fist] How long were you planning on doing this?! [tears well up in SpongeBob's eyes] Tell me!
  • [Plankton puts his head down and begins to sob.]
  • SpongeBob: [the tears now dripping down his face] What?!
  • Plankton: [looks up at SpongeBob] All right, it's true! I tricked you to get the Krabby Patty! But then you showed me friendship! [the two look each other in the eyes] And now I realize... that's all I ever really wanted.
  • SpongeBob: [sniffs, then smiles, beginning to stop crying] Really?
  • Plankton: [grabs the patty and jumps towards the screen] No, not really. Being evil is too much fun! [laughs evilly]
  • Movie Woman: Oh, darling, I knew nothing would ever tear us apart.
  • [Plankton, who is running away, rips through the movie screen. The cinema lights turn on.]
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, he's gone. He got the patty. He won.
  • Mr. Krabs: Ho-ho, no, he didn't, boy! Don't you know what’s behind these screens? [reveals the fabric, showing the Krabby Patty squished onto a concrete wall] Solid concrete! [laughs]
  • [The Krabby Patty falls off, revealing that Plankton is squished on the concrete wall. Plankton groans. Mr. Krabs takes the Krabby Patty.]
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I thought Plankton had changed.
  • Mr. Krabs: Don't blame him, lad. No friendship could withstand the allure of a Krabby Patty! Now let's go back to the Krusty Krab and have a fresh one on me!
  • SpongeBob: Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, maybe on a discount. [flicks Plankton off the wall and onto Bubble Bass' jelly beans]
  • Plankton: Huh?
  • [Plankton runs around Bubble Bass' hand getting chased by his other hand, being mistaken for a jelly bean. Plankton screams as the episode fades to black.]
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