SpongeBob: A little more sand. Pat, Pat, Pat. Pat, Pat, Patrick! Check it out. An exact replica of the Krusty Krab. One sandy patty. Extra grit.
Patrick:[gulps] A bit dry and flavorless. I'll take two dozen.
Fred: Hey everyone! The Drastic Radicals are tearing it up on Sand Mountain!
[everyone runs to Sand Mountain]
SpongeBob: Let's check it out!
Patrick: Um, could you give me a hand?
SpongeBob: Sure thing, buddy. [Patrick whistles and Patrick's body comes and places his head on his body]
[about Sand Mountain excited chatter]
Patrick: I can't see anything.
SpongeBob: Allow me.
[heard engine revs, crowd gasps]
Johnny Krill: Yeahhh! [laughs]
SpongeBob:[gasps] Look out!
[Not Dead Ted laughs]
SpongeBob: Someone help that little old lady!
Grand Maul Granny: Help yourselves, himrods!
[explosion, screaming together, engine revs]
Narrator: Johnny Krill! Not Dead Ted! [Grand Maul Granny laughs] Grand Moul Granny! [explosion] Drastic... Radicals! [explosion] The drasticals!
Patrick: Did you see that?
SpongeBob and Patrick: What was that?
British Gentleman: Why, those are the Dwastic Wadicals, the number one practitioners of extweme spowts. [sips tea]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Extreme what?
British Gentleman: Extweme spowts.
Patrick: Extreme spots? Well, that's no fair. You're already covers in extreme spots. Ooh. Hold on a second. [hive buzzing, Patrick screaming, electricity crackling] Okay, let's do meet our new heroes.
[The Drasticals laughing]
SpongeBob: We want to join your extreme spots team, as you can see, we're also covered head to toe in the most extreme of spots.
Johnny: It's extreme sports, not spots. So you wanna be a Drastical. Let's see what you got, little dude.
SpongeBob: No problemo. I guess you just hop up like this... [revs engines, motorcycle drives off with his hands] Hey! Come back! [SpongeBob chases after it, motorcycle goes faster] Heeeeyyy! [Runs the other way, motorcycle picks him up and he screams as he goes through sand dunes. Motorcycle stops, SpongeBob faints]
Granny:[Chuckling, to Patrick] You're turn, fat boy!
Patrick: Hey! How'd we get up here? [Patrick is pushed off cliff, hits several rocks then falls off mountain]
Johnny: Our sports are too extreme for you dudes. Maybe we should start you two on something easier. What games do you dudes like to play?
SpongeBob: Ooh, I know. How 'bout a little something called Jump rope?
Johnny: Jumprope, eh? Demonstrate.
SpongeBob: Ready Patrick? On your mark, get set, jump rope!
Patrick: Extreme! [starts jumping] Hey, who's holding the other end?
SpongeBob: I am of course. [Pan to the right] Hi Patrick!
Patrick: D'uh. [blows harmonica, starts singing] My best friend is SpongeBob, he has a square head, I try on his clothes while he's asleep in bed.
SpongeBob: Yeah! What?
Patrick: That's weird, my face is leaking.
SpongeBob: You're face isn't leaking. You're just sweating from all the exercise.
Patrick: Exercise?! [stops] Eww, I didn't sign up for this! [faints]
Johnny: Dude that was not extreme. Let the Drasticals show you how it's done. Grab it Granny [throws one end of jump rope, Granny bites end of rope, Ted makes a somersault and lands on rope with his tongue, jumps back into the air]
Ted: Drasticals! Whoo! Yeah! [Lands and jumps over rope to the point where he steams up]
Johnny: Kick it up a notch!
[Ted sets aflame and shoots into the air]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooooh.
Ted: Yeah! [plane hits him, he falls face first into ground and burns to a crisp]
Johnny: Yeah! See, extreme sports should be explosive! Boom!
SpongeBob: Explosive, huh? I know just the thing! [dips bubble wand and blows bubble. Bubble pops] Boom! [SpongeBob and Patrick make several explosion sounds] Impressed?
Johnny: Look dudes, to be extreme you gotta go bigger. Show 'em Drasticals! [Granny climbs huge bottle of bubble soap, dips huge wand and puts it in front of a ramp] Watch this! [Rides motorcycle into bubble, speeds into town and knocks over a building. Bubble pops and he gets crushed] Extreme. [Tunnels back, hops out of the ground] Now that's how you do extreme! You understand?
SpongeBob: I think I do. Is fighting extreme?
Johnny: Fighting is totally extreme.
[Scene opens in wrestling ring.]
Patrick: I want a clean fight. I don't wanna see any trash laying around. [Rings his head instead of bell. SpongeBob tries to punch a pillow, spins to the edge, launched back into pillow which land on his head] Oohh...We give up! Fling [Waves towel and throws at SpongeBob] That was close.
Johnny: Not so fast, that's not fighting. Stand aside [Stomps SpongeBob and Patrick out of ring] I'll show you how it's done! [Slams into pillow, puts into washing machine, sets it on wash]
SpongeBob: Noo! It's dry-clean only!
[Johnny smashes machine open, punches pillow out of ring]
Pillow: Avenge me.
Mattress: Charlie! [Jumps into ring and smashes Johnny, then does it again 6 times more]
Patrick: Even more brutal!
Johnny: Now that was extreme, dudes. You think you're starting to get it?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh yeah.
Johnny: So what else you got?
SpongeBob: Well there is one sport that Patrick's an expert at.
Patrick: Dumpster diving!
[Patrick pushes dumpster, climbs it, and jumps in. SpongeBob cheers. Patrick sinks in and pops out, coughing up some trash.]
Johnny: That's not extreme.
Patrick:[Spits out old toothbrush] How revolting. [Brushes teeth with it]
Johnny: Okay, that's kinda extreme. Not bad, but the Drasticals will show you how it's done. [Ted brings in a ladder with diving board and Granny on top. Ladder is set higher]
Granny: Okay artificial hip, don't fail me now. [Jumps into dumpster and chuckles. Johnny dumps her and trash into a garbage truck and crushes them with a compactor. Trash comes out a square shape and Granny pops out] Extreme!
Patrick: That is one tough elderly person.
Johnny: Dude, that was awesome! What other crazy sports do you dudes play?
SpongeBob: Well, there is a very extremely extreme sport we play if you're up to it.
[At Jellyfish Fields, SpongeBob and Patrick chase after jellyfish]
Patrick: Hey, where are the Drasticals? [They feel ground shaking] Here they come!
[Johnny catches jellyfish on motorcycle, Ted in the air, and Granny riding them like a tidal wave]
Johnny: Jellyfishing, yeah...[Jellyfish flies into his mouth and stings him, Ted flies into huge jellyfish and burns, thrown into Johnny and Granny and they get caught in an explosion]
Johnny:[Covered in stings] Dudes, now we get it! These spots are way extreme!
Ted: And itchy!
British Gentleman: As you can see, extweme spowts are the direct bi-product of the most extweme spowts.