Encyclopedia SpongeBobia
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Encyclopedia SpongeBobia

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Extreme Spots" from season 9, which aired on July 21, 2012.

  • SpongeBob: A little more sand. Pat, Pat, Pat. Pat, Pat, Patrick! Check it out. An exact replica of the Krusty Krab. One sandy patty. Extra grit.
  • Patrick: [gulps] A bit dry and flavorless. I'll take two dozen.
  • Fred: Hey, everyone! The Drastic Radicals are tearing it up on Sand Mountain! 
  • [Everyone runs to Sand Mountain.]
  • SpongeBob: Let's check it out!
  • Patrick: Um, could you give me a hand?
  • SpongeBob: Sure thing, buddy. [Patrick whistles and his headless body comes and places his head on it]
  • [about Sand Mountain excited chatter.]
  • Patrick: I can't see anything.
  • SpongeBob: Allow me.
  • [heard engine revs, crowd gasps.]
  • Johnny Krill: Yeahhh! [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: Wow!
  • Patrick: Whoa!
  • SpongeBob: Whoa!
  • Patrick: Wow!
  • SpongeBob: Wow!
  • Patrick: Wow!
  • SpongeBob: Whoa!
  • Patrick: Whoa!
  • [bugle call]
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] Look out!
  • [Not Dead Ted laughs]
  • SpongeBob: Someone help that little old lady!
  • Grand Maul Granny: Help yourselves, nimrods!
  • [explosion, screaming together, engine revs.]
  • Narrator: Johnny Krill! Not Dead Ted! [Grand Maul Granny laughs] Grand Maul Granny! [explosion] Drastic... Radicals! [explosion] The drasticals!
  • Patrick: Did you see that?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: What was that?
  • British Gentleman: Why, those are the Dwastic Wadicals, the number one practitioners of extweme spowts. [sips tea]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Extreme what?
  • British Gentleman: Extweme spowts.
  • Patrick: "Extreme spots?" Well, that's no fair. You're already covered in extreme spots. Ooh. Hold on a second.
  • [Jellyfish buzz inside a hive; Patrick puts it on his head and steps away from the tree it is hanging off of. He then runs back into the tree, causing it to break on impact. The jellyfish are released, and they sting Patrick as he screams in pain. Electricity crackles.] Okay, let's meet our new heroes.
  • [The Drasticals laugh.]
  • SpongeBob: We want to join your extreme spots team, as you can see, we're also covered head to toe in the most extreme of spots.
  • Patrick: Itchy Spots!
  • [The drasticals laugh.]
  • Johnny: It's extreme sports, not spots. So you wanna be a Drastical. Let's see what you got, little dude.
  • SpongeBob: No problemo. I guess you just hop up like this... [revs engines, motorcycle drives off with his hands] Hey! Come back! [SpongeBob chases after it, motorcycle goes faster] Heeeeyyy! [Runs the other way, motorcycle picks him up and he screams as he goes through sand dunes. Motorcycle stops, SpongeBob faints]
  • Granny: [Chuckling, to Patrick] You're turn, fat boy!
  • Patrick: Hey! How'd we get up here? [Patrick is pushed off cliff, hits several rocks then falls off mountain]
  • Johnny: Our sports are too extreme for you dudes. Maybe we should start you two on something easier. What games do you dudes like to play?
  • SpongeBob: Ooh, I know. How 'bout a little something called Jump rope?
  • Johnny: Jumprope, eh? Demonstrate.
  • SpongeBob: Ready Patrick? On your mark, get set, jump rope!
  • Patrick: Extreme! [starts jumping] Hey, who's holding the other end?
  • SpongeBob: I am of course. [Pan to the right] Hi, Patrick!
  • Patrick: D'uh. [blows harmonica, starts singing] My best friend is SpongeBob, he has a square head, I try on his clothes while he's asleep in bed.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah! What?
  • Patrick: That's weird, my face is leaking.
  • SpongeBob: Your face isn't leaking. You're just sweating from all the exercise.
  • Patrick: Exercise?! [stops] Eww, I didn't sign up for this! [faints]
  • SpongeBob: Extreme!
  • Johnny: Dude, that was not extreme. Let the Drasticals show you how it's done. Grab it, Granny! [throws one end of jump rope, Granny bites end of rope, Ted does a somersault and lands on the rope with his tongue, then jumps back into the air]
  • Ted: Drasticals! Whoo! Yeah! [Lands and jumps over rope repeatedly, to the point where he steams up]
  • Johnny: Kick it up a notch!
  • [Ted sets aflame and shoots into the air]
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooooh.
  • Ted: Yeah! [plane hits him, he falls face first into ground and burns to a crisp]
  • Johnny: Yeah! See, extreme sports should be explosive! Boom!
  • SpongeBob: Explosive, huh? I know just the thing! [dips bubble wand and blows bubble. Bubble pops] Boom! [SpongeBob and Patrick make several explosion sounds] Impressed?
  • Drasticals: No.
  • Johnny: Look, dudes; to be extreme, you gotta go bigger. Show 'em, Drasticals! [Granny climbs a huge bottle of bubble soap, then dips an oversized wand in it and puts it in front of a ramp] Watch this! [Rides motorcycle into bubble, speeds into town and knocks over a building. Bubble pops and he gets crushed] Extreme. [Tunnels back, hops out of the ground] Now that's how you do extreme! You understand?
  • SpongeBob: I think I do. Is fighting extreme?
  • Johnny: Fighting is totally extreme.
  • [Scene opens in wrestling ring.]
  • Patrick: I want a clean fight. I don't wanna see any trash laying around. [Rings his head instead of bell. SpongeBob tries to punch a pillow, spins to the edge, and launches back into the pillow, which lands on his head] Oohh...We give up! Fling [Waves towel and throws at SpongeBob] That was close.
  • Johnny: Not so fast, that's not fighting. Stand aside [Stomps SpongeBob and Patrick out of ring] I'll show you how it's done! [Slams into pillow, puts into washing machine, sets it on wash]
  • SpongeBob: Noo! It's dry-clean only!
  • [Johnny smashes machine open, punches pillow out of ring]
  • Pillow: Avenge me.
  • SpongeBob: Brutal.
  • Mattress: Charlie! [Jumps into ring and smashes Johnny, then does it again 6 times more]
  • Patrick: Even more brutal!
  • Johnny: Now that was extreme, dudes. You think you're starting to get it?
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh yeah.
  • Johnny: So what else you got?
  • SpongeBob: Well there is one sport that Patrick's an expert at.
  • Patrick: Dumpster diving!
  • [Patrick pushes dumpster, climbs it, and jumps in. SpongeBob cheers. Patrick sinks in and pops out, coughing up some trash.]
  • Johnny: That's not extreme.
  • Patrick: [Spits out old toothbrush] How revolting. [Brushes teeth with it]
  • Johnny: Okay, that's kinda extreme. Not bad, but the Drasticals will show you how it's done. [Ted brings in a ladder with diving board and Granny on top. Ladder is set higher]
  • Granny: Okay artificial hip, don't fail me now. [Jumps into dumpster and chuckles. Johnny dumps her and trash into a garbage truck and crushes them with a compactor. Trash comes out a square shape and Granny pops out] Extreme!
  • Patrick: That is one tough elderly person.
  • Johnny: Dude, that was awesome! What other crazy sports do you dudes play?
  • SpongeBob: Well, there is a very extremely extreme sport we play if you're up to it.
  • [At Jellyfish Fields, SpongeBob and Patrick chase after jellyfish]
  • Patrick: Hey, where are the Drasticals? [They feel ground shaking] Here they come!
  • [Johnny catches jellyfish on motorcycle, Ted in the air, and Granny riding them like a tidal wave]
  • SpongeBob: Wow!
  • Patrick: Amazing!
  • Johnny: Jellyfishing, yeah...[Jellyfish flies into his mouth and stings him, Ted flies into huge jellyfish and burns, thrown into Johnny and Granny and they get caught in an explosion]
  • Johnny: [Covered in stings] Dudes, now we get it! These spots are way extreme!
  • Ted: And itchy!
  • British Gentleman: As you can see, extweme spowts are the direct bi-product of the most extweme spowts.
  • Patrick: Who is that guy?
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