Enchanted Tiki Dreams/transcript

Template:BTranscript (Starts at Squidward's house. He walks up and puts on his hat. Opens his door.)

Squidward: Ok, Beloved Sanctuary.(lifts a tentacle) I'll see you after work! (shoots to "Beloved Sanctuary") And we'll have a nice, relaxing evening. (Shoots to Squidward) Just you and me. (Slams door) That is, Of course, if I can survive another day (Walks across his lawn) with Gratingbob Shrillpants.

Patrick: (Shoots to Patrick and SpongeBob) OOH!

SpongeBob: Dayayayayyaya!

(Patrick throws a big rock onto SpongeBob. Patrick and SpongeBob laugh)

Squidward: Hm. (Walks towards Krusty Krab) Wow. Those two are just so amazingly stupid.

SpongeBob: AAAH!

(Patrick is thrown, bending Squidward's neck. SpongeBob jumps on Squidward's broken neck, laughing. Squidward falls. Squidward gets up and fixes his neck)

Squidward: GRRR!

SpongeBob and Patrick: DEEDEEHEE!

(Patrick rolls next to SpongeBob and throws him by the legs)

SpongeBob: AAAAH!

(Patrick walks up and both laugh)

(Shoots to Squidward)

(SpongeBob throws Patrick and laughs)

SpongeBob: Ahh. Isn't this fun?

Patrick: Yeah! I Love playing buddy toss! (Squidward walks past them)

SpongeBob: Good morning Squidward! See you at work!

(Shoots to Krusty Krab)

(Shows Squidward reading a newspaper)

SpongeBob: AAH! (This causes Squidward's newspaper to fly out of his hands)

DAyayayaya!

(SpongeBob squirts mustard into Patrick's eyes)

Patrick: AAAAAAAH!

(Room Rumbles)

Squidward: (Groans) OK. I can do this. Just put them out of my-

SpongeBob: AAAAH! Dayayayayaya!

(Shows a card saying, One extremely annoying shift later)

(Squidward bursts out of Krusty Krab)

Squidward: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Goes into his house) (Locks door using every type of lock)(Comes to crossword puzzle) Another word for annoying. SPONGEBOB. (writes SpongeBob on crossword) Ugh. (Wipes his face) Finally. Some peace and quiet. (Takes off hat) (Puts feet into slippers) No more SpongeBob, Just me, myself and home sweet home. (Sits on chair) Aah. Nothing like a squid's good ol chair to soothe the pains of a ruff day. Just relax and contemplate some me time. (Walks to record player and disc)Perhaps I will dance to some soothing dance records. (Puts disc on player and snaps fingers to the beat as well as dances) Or i could dabble a little on painting! (walks to paint and pallet) (paints) (sigh) Yup. I sure am looking forward to it. (eel sting)

SpongeBob: DAYAYA!

(eel sting)

DAYAYA!

(eel sting)

DAYAYA!

Squidward: NO, No, NOO! (walks to window)

Alright, I am trying to have a relaxing evening. What are you two doing?

Patrick: Trying to have a relaxing evening.

SpongeBob: We're playing flashlight tag.

Squidward: You're playing flashlight tag with an electric eel?

Patrick: We're using the advanced rules.

Squidward: Advanced rules.

Patrick: Tag.

(Squidward gets a rash then screams and comes sobbing hysterically.

He bonks himself on the wall, becoming dazed, and the window rings fall at him then the nose gets him.)

Patrick: Shocking!

Electric Eel: How original.

(cuts to Squidward's house where he crawled under his chair)

Squidward: (crying) All I want to do is live in a world where I can live in peace and quite (sniffs) is that to much to ask?

(SpongeBob and Patrick poke Squidward with a stick)

SpongeBob: Squidward, we're playing tag! Not hide and seek!

Patrick: But we can play hide and seek too.

Squidward: (still crying) All I want to do is live in a world where I can live in peace!(sobs and cries)

SpongeBob: Patrick, Squidward is really sad!

Patrick: Yeah, let's go poke someone else.

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, we should do something very special for him, then he wont feel sad anymore!

Patrick: Oh, like that time when I was feeling depressed, and you let me eat all... I mean feed Gary for a week.

SpongeBob: No Patrick, I mean do something extra special, and I think we should vow to it

Patrick: Well, how about instead of vowing, we just do it?

SpongeBob: That's a great idea!

(cuts to later that night)

Squidward: (in bed) Well, good night... lamp(turns lamp off)

(Then, construction sound begin outside and Squidward turns the lamp back on)

Squidward: I guess having a relaxing evening meant saying up all night with power tools! Well, it's not that late, even morons need to sleep!

(clock spins around until morning and construction sounds are still there)

Squidward: I can't take it anymore!!!!!!

(runs downstairs grumbling)

Squidward: When I get my hand on those two!(opens door) all right you!... (gasps)

(he walks out his door to a Hawaiian-like beach with tikis, palms, and waterfalls)

Squidward: It's, it's, it's... beautiful!(gazes in amazement) it's a mirage! I knew it!

(starts walking back to his house)

(SpongeBob slingshots a Hawaiian shirt in him and Gary walks by with a coconut and Squidward grabs it. then Patrick uses a fishing pole to reel down a hat, sunglasses, and lei and drapes it around Squidward's head)

Squidward: (sadly) Next stop, the padded floors of the cephalopod's home!( looks around at the beach and drinks some of the coconut) just go with it Squidy

(walks around a bit, then comes to a waterfall, goes inside, and takes a shower. then he comes back out to see a tiki boat waiting for him. he gets in and floats down a stream, drinking the coconut. then he realizes it is empty and notices a tiki bar ahead and stops)

Squidward; A refill, my good man! huh?(notices Patrick behind the bar blending a smoothie) Patrick, what are you doing here!?

(Patrick turns around and pours the drink into Squidward's coconut. While he takes out a newspaper and reads it, Squidward drinks the drink.)

Squidward : It's delicious! what is it?

Patrick: A smoothie

Squidward: Remember, just go with it.

(tiki song starts as three tikis watch Squidward in the boat)

Tiki #1; Hey fellas, look! it's Squidward!

Tiki #2; Hey, buddy, where ya been!?

Squidward: Hit it boys!

Tikis: Welcome, to Squidward's tiki land!(song continues as Squidward floats down the stream)

Squidward: Ahhhh, this is the life!

(Boat bumps onto land where SpongeBob puts out a canvas and paint. Squidward then paints a picture of the wonderful scenery)

SpongeBob: It's beauuuuuuuuuutiful!!

(hands Squidward his clarinet and he starts playing)

Squidward: I've never felt this happy in my life! HAHAHA

(grabs SpongeBob and Patrick by the hands and start dancing in circles. they are laughing and having a good time until Patrick crashes into one of the tikis and knocks them all over in a domino-like effect. the world catches on fire and burns until it's nothing but a pile of burnt ashes)

Squidward: My world!!!

(SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward are left looking at a charred pile of rubble)

Patrick: SpongeBob, I told you we should have used glue instead of earwax

SpongeBob: Yeah, and considering neither of us have ears

Squidward:(crying) You've destroyed my beautiful world!

SpongeBob: Sorry we couldn't make it last, Squidward

Patrick: Yeah, we really tried to make it last

Squidward:(sobbing) yeah, make it last, WAHAHWA!

(sees the tiki boat still in one piece)

Squidward: I know how to make it last!

(Squidward had attached it to a swing and had SpongeBob and Patrick stand and take turns getting hit by the boat)

Squidward: HAHAHAAA!

Patrick: (getting hit) AAAAHHHHA!

SpongeBob: My turn! AHHHHH!

(episode ends)